EGO

personally i think that the human race has progressed past the need for march.

My mom is mad that I'm busy on nights when the local bar has trivia because I know weird facts that always happen to be on the quiz. A few weeks ago she was pissed because they'd missed the question "What is the condition of having two differently-colored eyes called?" and when she told me she'd missed it I immediately said "Oh, heterochromia." And she was so mad. I asked what her team had written. She showed me the paper. They'd written "Bi?"

btw *dies from lack of being kissed*, if you even care

when you see a funny tiktok and think "maybe I should make a tiktok account" don't listen that's the devil talking

“that character is problematic” i am sick and twisted. next

“that character is irredeemable” god i hope so. i hope they get worse

my bad for assuming everyone has critical thinking skills btw

feminine urge to ghost everyone for my own peace of mind

joking abt how no one joins tumblr anymore isn't enough. we need to get rid of the sign up button

(suffering the clear and obvious ramifications of my voluntary actions) once again god torments me for no purpose but sick amusement

adult life is truly just thinking “I NEED TO CLEAN” while dealing with the 17 other things that have a hard deadline

your guardian angel is NOT paying attention to you on the celestial zoom rn. She’s on her phone