β Β my father has never been able to imagine the world without himself in it. Β β
β Β there is a twisting feeling in my chest, like cloth being wrung dry. Β β
βΒ the grudges of the gods are as deathless as their flesh. Β β
β Β it was my first lesson. beneath the smooth, familiar face of things is another that waits to tear the world in two. Β β
βΒ youΒ think just because you are a daughter of the sun, you may uproot the world to please yourself. Β β
β Β even the best iron grows brittle with too much beating. Β β
β Β fear of failure is the worst thing for any spell. Β β
βΒ those who fight against prophecy only draw it more tightly around their throats. Β β
β Β did you smile a little? perhaps i only flatter myself. Β β
βΒ i have a better idea. i will do as i please. Β β
β Β what can i say? the world is an ugly place. we must live in it.Β β
β Β how many of us would be granted pardon if our true hearts were known? Β β
β Β you threw me to the crows, but it turns out i prefer them to you. Β β
β Β give me the blade. some things are worth spilling blood for. Β β
β Β it is very close. a perfect sleeping spot to ease your weary bones. Β β
β Β all my life had been murk and depths, but i was not a part of that dark water. i was a creature within it. Β β
β Β most men do not know me for what i am.Β β
β Β i suppose i could weep and rub my eyes to please you, but i choose not to live so falsely.Β β
β Β there is no wound that you can give me that i have not already given myself. Β β
β Β i will not be a bird bred in a cage, too dull to fly even when the door stands open. Β β
β Β i stood there for a long time fearing such things, and waiting, as if someone would come and reassure me. Β β
β Β this is how zeus felt when he first lifted the thunderbolt. Β β
β Β i had a little pride, and that was good. more would have been fatal. Β β
β Β will you not come to bed, my love?Β β
β Β if my childhood has given me anything, itβs endurance. Β β
β Β if you had asked me, i would have said i was happy. Β β
β Β that is another thing about you. you make me want to spill my secrets.Β β
β Β they do not care if you are good. they barely care if you are wicked. the only thing that makes them listen is power.Β β
β Β as for that safety, i do not want it. it is only more chains.Β β
β Β all those years i had spent with them were like a stone tossed in a pool. already, the ripples were gone. Β β
β Β war always seemed to me a foolish choice from men. whatever they win from it, they will only have a handful of years to enjoy before they die. more likely they will perish trying. Β β
β Β are you always so suspicious? Β β
βΒ Β in a solitary life, there are rare moments when another soul dips near yours, as stars once a year brush the earth.Β β
β Β i can bend the world to my will, as a bow bent for an arrow. Β β
βΒ will you do me the honor of dining with me?Β β
β Β i know what we owe you. what i owe. Β β
β Β iβm afraid i might have floated on, believing those dull memories were all there was, until the end of days. Β β
β Β do not be too happy. it will bring down fire on your head. Β β
βΒ you are a poison snake, and i am another, and on such terms we please ourselves. Β β
β Β your words are like a secret. a thing that looks like stone, but inside is a seed. Β β
β Β you cannot know how frightened gods are of pain. there is nothing more foreign to them. Β β
β Β bold action and bold manner are not the same. Β β
β Β a golden cage is still a cage. Β β
β Β i am surprised to see you so plain after such boasting. Β β
β Β your voice is like balm upon my raw skin.Β β
β Β does no one have the courage? will no one dare to face me?Β β
β Β those who love me a little do not care to say. Β β
βΒ it is easily to speak so open with you. your face is like a quiet pool that will hold everything safe in its depths. Β β
βΒ humbling women seems to me a chief pastime of poets. as if there can be no story unless we crawl and weep. Β β
β Β you are weak and blind, and it is worse because you choose it.Β β
βΒ you can teach a viper to eat from your hands, but you cannot take away how much it likes to bite. Β β
β Β i should have known you would be good for nothing to me. Β β
β Β gold does not give back a life.Β β
β Β it is funny, that even after all this time, you believe you will be rewarded, just because you have been obedient. Β β
β Β i have done your work for you, and all you give me is mockery and contempt. Β β
β Β where would you go, if you might escape?Β β
β Β you are right. this world is a wild and terrible place, and worth shouting at. Β β
β Β i cannot bear this world a moment longer. Β β
β Β i owe you nothing. you will have of me only what i want to give.Β β
β Β however gold you shine, do not forget your fire. Β β
β Β that is what you desire most of all: to drive others into doubt, keep them wondering and fretting, stumbling behind your dancing feet. Β β
β Β sorry that you thought i was weak, but you were wrong. Β β
β Β trickery is for cowards, men not bull-necked enough to show true courage.Β β
β Β i have a little pride. if they do not weep, i will not either. Β β
β Β you have as many coils as a snake, and an eye always to your advantage. Β β
β Β i want the sun to burn me. i want it to scorch me to the bone. Β β
β Β what of me? shall i rot? Β β
β Β how long would i cling to that handful of minutes, trying to cover myself as if with some threadbare blanket? Β β
βΒ i have been old and stern for so long, carved with regrets and years like a monolith. but that is only a shape iβve been poured into. i do not have to keep it.Β β
β Β i am not weak. and i will never be sorry not to be like you.Β β
β Β you draw me in as if you are winding up a thread.Β β
β Β the fragility of mortals breeds kindness and good grace. Β β
β come, there are blankets here, laid for you upon the soft grass. β
β there will be no songs made for you. no stories. you will live a life of obscurity. you will be without a name in history. you will be no one. β
β those heroes. you should see the look on their faces when i run straight for them. β
β those who fight against prophecy only draw it more tightly around their throats. β
β see? we do not need anyone. β
β have you not always insisted on being difficult in everything you do? β
β you cannot think of it. it will only torment you. β
β and that is the least of my powers. β
β you are lucky i do not kill you where you stand. β
β you do not understand the dangers that wait for you in the world. β
β your threats are crude. i had hoped we might discuss this reasonably. β
β you showed me your scars, and in return you let me pretend that i had none. β
β my whole life, i have waited for tragedy to find me. β
β it is not for such as you to question my purpose. β
β i felt a weariness in me so great i thought i would sink into the earth. β
β have patience, your strength will come in time. β
β you have never understood how strong i am. β
β you do not know what i can do. β
β i have said all i will say. do not ask me again. β
β perhaps no parent can truly see their child. when we look we see only the mirror of our own faults. β
β i cannot bear this world a moment longer. β
β there is no profit in chasing riddles of the fates. β
β why can you not be more peaceful? why must it be so hard? β
β come. letβs do something fun. i will show you magic. β
β at last. i have met the thing the gods can use against me. β
β clever. you were testing me, werenβt you? β
β i must tell you, all my past is like today; monsters and horrors no one wants to hear. β
β you cannot come. it is not safe for mortals. β
β come forth, and speak to my face. or do you only do your murdering from the shadows? β
β you are safe. we may be happy at last. β
β what else have you kept from me? β
β all heroes are fools. all heroes but me. β
β i know what i was in those days: unsteady, inconstant. β
β i will be fine, i promise you. β
β i have a better idea. i will do as i please. β
β will there never be an end to it? β
β i will wear that shame all my life. i cannot undo it, but i will spend my days wishing i could. β
β if you want to join me, i will not stop you. β
β if i do this thing, it will be the last i will ever do for you. β
β i am sorry i put you in such danger. β