Flipping the Coin

 What we intend to release:

-Character answers to inquiries.

-Supplementary and additional writings.

-Music for characters and scenes.

-Hints and slight spoilers :)

-Thoughts from the authors :D 

Tags and Links:

The fic- Two Sides to a Coin

The Characters

The Authors

Answered Asks

-Optimus Prime

-Orion Pax

-Megatron

-Ratchet

Supplemental Writing

-Ratchet

-Megatron

-Orion Pax

-Paradox

-Complaints

-Hush

-Jazz

Hey Megatron, it’s Hush. I don’t have a lot of time to say all the stuff I need to, but I’ll tell you what I can.

I’ve been recalled for a mandatory memory wipe. I had no choice in the matter. I turned against my order and they were not pleased. I tried to refuse to command, but they threatened your Conjunx, and I couldn’t allow that. I know you keep him safe and that they likely wouldn’t succeed, but I don’t want innocent lives to be lost or for you to be painted as even more of a villain after you inevitably kill a few agents sent to frag things up. You’ve done nothing wrong since the war ended and I don’t want you to have to go and do things you don’t want to. You are happy with Orion Pax, and I simply won’t risk things ruining that.

So I’ll be heading back to headquarters, and when I return, I won’t be me anymore. Not this new me anyway. There will be no Melody. There will be no more conversations or any of that. There won’t be any quiet nights in the garden or tea parties once a deca-cycle. I don’t know how you feel about me, Megatron. But… I’ve cherished every moment (minus the first few deca-cycles where I was afraid you were going to murder me). 

I’m sorry I’m leaving like this, although I know you probably won’t miss being spied on all the time. I don’t know if I’ll be back or even if I’ll still be alive in a few cycles. Depends on what the Chaplain decides to do with me after the wipe finishes. If it isn’t too much trouble, could you give this to Orion? This note should be attached to a little box with a few of my favorite knitted things. They are tiny, so don’t worry about putting them somewhere. You can even chuck them if you like.

And in the event that I do come back, I’ve also attached a chip. It contains a backup of all my memory since I started this mission observing you. Just leave it in my vent if I return. Younger me is a bit of an idiot so I’ll probably connect up to it regardless if you write a note saying something like ‘important data’ on it. 

Yeah. I guess this is my goodbye of sorts. Thanks for not murdering me and for being so nice to me. Thank you for sharing your work with me, for teaching me (although I am sure it was tedious sometimes). It has meant the world and I’m sorry I couldn’t do more for you to get the Guard off your back. My only suggestion is to cover your vents and check all of Orion’s fuel if I don’t return. I can’t guarantee the Guard won’t try something.

Well, that’s about it I suppose. Thanks again for everything.

Chaplain P-059: Hush, you are to return, effective immediately. 

Inquisitor H-0023: No. I’m not moving. Not until I am allowed to speak to Smokescreen.

Chaplain P-059: Have you forgotten your duties, Hush? Your disrespect is baffling. You were sent to observe Megatron for a reason, and it seems that just like every other unfortunate spark to have interacted with him, you have been tainted.

Inquisitor H-0023: Tainted my aft. Megatron has done nothing wrong since the war ended. In fact, he’s opened my fragging optics and shown me the truth. His ideals are more pure than ours could ever be!

Chaplain P-059: I will give you one opportunity to retract that statement and return to headquarters quietly for a mandatory memory wipe. Failure to comply will result in you being labeled a traitor and forcefully removed, if not executed.

Inquisitor H-0023: You and all your little agents can frag all the way off. I am staying here until I can speak with Smokescreen. I can’t trust the rest of you. Not after all I’ve found.

Chaplain P-059: This is not a request, Hush. You will return, or you will be punished.

Inquisitor H-0023: Then so be it. Shred me if that’s what you feel like doing. But do know that the moment you do, Megatron will know and you will have pits to pay for it later.

Chaplain P-059: Megatron has not exhibited a willingness to revive his movement. Your absence will be negligible in the grand scheme of things.

Inquisitor H-0023: Maybe. Maybe not. But this is a choice I am making for myself. I’m staying here and I will be shooting any guardsmech who come near.

Chaplain P-059: Very well. I did not wish to use this tactic, but if you are going to be stubborn, then let it be so.

Inquisitor H-0023: What?

Chaplain P-059: If you do not return for a complete memory wipe within the next two cycles, an agent will be deployed and Orion Pax will fall ill. He will not die, but we will ensure he remains in critical condition until you comply.

Inquisitor H-0023: But the Prime ordered that Orion Pax be left alone.

Chaplain P-059: And he will be, once you obey.

Inquisitor H-0023: You are an absolute slagger.

Chaplain P-059: Return, sister. We will make this right.

Sir? I’ve sent a dozen small reports and I haven’t gotten slag back from you. What is going on? Why aren’t you responding? Every file reads as having been seen but you haven’t responded once, even to sensitive information. I’ve gone through every protocol. Why aren’t you looking? I don’t understand.

I’ve done everything right! I’ve sent all my reports, I’ve been loyal, I’ve followed every order! Why aren’t you listening to me? What did I do wrong? My concerns are serious and time sensitive. And now I have over a dozen Inquisitors staking out this location, all of them trying to get my attention. I’ve refused to leave the property, but they are getting closer every single cycle and it has been a fight to keep Orion from noticing. Has the Guard given up on subtlety? If so, Megatron will hear about this and he will NOT be happy. I’m saving your afts by getting these spies of the property! What is wrong with you mecha?

You aren’t even reading my reports, are you? In the beginning you showed so much concern… but now you don’t seem to care. That is very uncharacteristic of you, Smokescreen. Unless… it’s not your reading these. You haven’t been reading my reports for a long time now, have you?

I knew there was something going on. The Decepticon codex outlines this kind of slag and I know for a fact that the Guard is corrupt now. So listen up, third party observer.

Whoever you are, let me tell you a little something.

I’m not moving from this spot. I’m not letting you hurt these mecha I have come to care so much about. I’m not going to report to you. I’m not going to give you anything else. If you want to come and get information, you can drag it out of my cold dead corpse. If you can even do that, considering you’ve refused to use the memory retrieval methods the Decepticon medical files have outlined. Frag off with your little games. And just for the record, all those Inquisitors you’ve been sending? Yeah, I’ve been getting rid of them one at a time.

Most of them have been wise enough to comply with my demands for them to leave. But there was one who got too close. I remember he trained with me. But I still shot him straight between the optics when he got too close to my targets. I’ll do it again if needed. I’m not afraid, not now that I can see the lies the Guard has been feeding us. You don’t want to better Cybertron. You aren’t even serving our Prime. Whoever is in charge of this is manipulating the Guard into doing their bidding, and I have a feeling I might know who that person is.

Here’s the deal. I’m going to stay right here and shoot anyone with the badge of the Elite Guard who comes within viewing distance of this residence. Unless Head Guardsmech Smokescreen starts communicating with me again to work out the numerous issues I have observed, I am going to assume the Guard is hostile.

This is my warning, and I am not afraid to act on it.

═════════════════

[Report Received: Visibility Status - Seen. Report… Redirected.]

Smokescreen, are you getting my reports? I’ve sent five additional files and the registry says you’ve seen them, but you haven’t left any notes or sent me any mission details. Is something wrong? I understand if I came off as rude a few reports ago. I wasn’t trying to be antagonistic, I swear! I was just making a point! Please don’t view me poorly. I was simply attempting to inform you of the situation.

If you are just busy dealing with the information I’ve sent over, please leave me a note. I’m getting worried. I know you are alive since I saw you on the news the other cycle, but if you are in any danger, I’m here. I don’t know how I can help, but if you alert me I can do something! I have Megatron right here! Just… Please get back to me soon. I have more data and I’m unsettled. I keep seeing more Inquisitors around as of late. Why are there more Inquisitors? I’ve had to shoo two away from the hab in the past stellar-cycle and I know there are at least a few others who have set up shop nearby with snipers.

Is Orion in danger? Is that why there are so many of my fellows here? Why won’t they talk to me about the mission details? If it relates to Megatron in any capacity I should be made aware. How in Primus’s name am I meant to keep collecting data if I get my cover blown in front of Orion? Just a few cycles ago I found an Inquisitor  scoping out the area with a scanner. I had to actively stop Megatron from killing the poor mech and I went out to deal with it instead.

Seriously, if there isn’t a reason for the Inquisitors to be here, get them the frag off my property. This is my mission location and I don’t need the extra stress of having a bunch of posers hanging around making Orion nervous. He’s been on edge for deca-cycles now and has had more frequent night terrors because of it. Do you know how upsetting it is to see my friend so fidgety because Guardsmecha are following him back from the Archives whenever Megatron isn’t with him? Get them away from Orion and Megatron’s hab. I swear I’m going to start shooting at the fraggers if this continues.

Yes, I am aware they are also part of the Guard. No. I don’t care. If I can stop needless death, I will. Because at this point, my priority is keeping Orion and Megatron safe. I don’t know what’s going on back with the Guard, but I don’t trust it. I trust you, Smokescreen. But I have to be honest… even that has been a bit tenuous recently. Please just get back to me soon with an update. Otherwise I am not moving an inch from the property. I’ve already refused to go anywhere unless with Orion or Megatron, so believe me when I say I’m staying put.

I guess information wise, I’ve picked up a few more things. I’m not going to repeat everything Orion has begun to tell me, mainly because it’s personal for him and I’m not a glitch. But in essence, Alpha Trion was known to blackmail. Orion never saw much of it, but based on his recollection, it sounds a great deal like the slag the Guard does to get mecha to do what they want. I don’t know if we’ve ever operated on a grand scale, but it’s suspicious. The tactics are lining up too well and I’m concerned.

Additionally, I’ve gleaned a bit of information about our Prime. I was eavesdropping this time, not actually talking to Orion. But he was venting to Megatron about some ads he saw and… Smokescreen, I have to ask. Was our Prime even… real? Orion has been saying that the Matrix made him. And yeah I know the Matrix makes Primes, which might I add should NOT be restricted information in the archive. Yes, I saw that the data is all butchered. Why does it still list Optimus and Orion Pax as the same person? They obviously aren’t and there’s propaganda in official documentation about the Matrix choosing Primes over making them. Feels like an attempt to make light of the situation and I don’t like it. But getting back on topic, the way Orion describes it makes it sound like Optimus wasn’t really operating freely. Something about Optimus not listening and not comprehending widely known information.

Isn’t that odd? I don’t really have a lot to say about it because I wasn’t there or trapped inside another mech’s frame for four million years, but things aren’t adding up. According to the records, old Primes came into being with a full understanding of their world, and more importantly, there wasn’t any of this whole angry other half stuff going on. Why was Optimus different? I don’t know if it means anything, but much like any new creation, I do imagine Primes can also be manipulated.

You should look into it. See if someone had their digits in our Prime’s development. It may lead somewhere. If you won’t look for Orion, then look for yourself. I heard you cared deeply for the Prime while he lived.

Also, I think you should look into the medical system a bit. There have been a few inconsistencies with Orion’s medication and I worry that Ratchet may be acting up. First Aid hasn’t come for tea in deca-cycles and me and Orion are a little concerned. Oh, and for the record, the garden is growing well enough that we’ve had a local HOA on our afts about it. Can you get them to can it? I’ve been intercepting their hate mail before Megatron or Orion can read it, but if that doesn’t get sorted I will be alerting someone or getting rid of the issue myself. I am not letting Orion’s garden get HOA’d while I’m still up an operating. Primus, I’ve heard some horror stories from the bots at the florists shop a few blocks over about the fragging HOA.

Aside from all that… I’m only further integrating into Orion and Megatron’s lives. Megatron lets me actively come sit with him while he writes poetry and rants now. I help him check his spelling, although sometimes I think he just likes watching my reactions as he recites his work. Occasionally he even asks me to get into the vent for ‘old times sake’ while he goes over his poem. I think he’s just a bit uncomfortable being stared at so much. Either that or he’s fragging with me. Regardless, it’s quite pleasant, and I make tea for us when I can. I’m not as good as Orion and I doubt I ever will be, but I try.

For the record, I know it sounds like I spend every single cycle just looming in the background of their lives, but I’m actually only present sometimes. Well, at least noticeably. I make it a point to only come out and interact during my ‘working’ joors or when we have tea with First Aid. That way it doesn’t seem too suspicious. Not that my absence stops Megatron from bothering me though. Sometimes I actually am trying to get a little me time and do some knitting in my little cubby and Megatron will come bang on the vent a few times to get me to spell check his work.

I know enough Kaoni from his poetry to probably get a degree in it. 

And as if that weren’t enough, sometimes he just bangs on the vent to mess with me. I don’t know if he’s lonely or not, but maybe it's the visor. I know he had Soundwave around all the time back during the war, so maybe the faceless thing is familiar to him. Whatever the case, he likes to send me on pointless missions. But I have been refusing as of late for the aforementioned reasons and because of those fragging Inquisitors.

I’m nervous, Smokescreen. Carnage has helped a lot and done a great deal of searching on the outside for me, but… I’m starting to think someone is targeting me. Did you give the order for my forceful return? Because if so, I’m still not going. Not until my concerns are addressed and at least one fragging Decepticon file is made public. Thank you very much.

I’ll keep up my reports for now. But again, it would make me far less upset if you just responded to me at least once.

═════════════════

[Report Received: Visibility Status - Seen. Report… Redirected.]

Hey Smokescreen. I’ve found out a great deal over the past stellar-cycle… and I think we have a real problem on our servos. Just, work with me here as I try to explain it all. I’ll work down the chain of stuff I think is important.

I was doing as you asked and looking into Alpha Trion, and I’ve found some things out. Although before I begin, I will say I’ve found exactly nothing about that doctor. He’s up and vanished again so I’d drop it if I were you. From what I heard, this something or other Wire guy killed one of the mechs trying to track him. A guardsmech too, might I add. If you sent that poor spark out… Well, I found their body dumped into a ditch a few miles away from my current location. I’d stay out of that Doctor’s way. He seems to not want to be found. And please, if you even give a frag about us, stop sending Inquisitors younger than me out on these sorts of missions. According to the Decepticon codex, no mech younger than twenty vorns should be anywhere near the front lines for a plethora of medical reasons, and that poor Inquisitor in the ditch was hardly five. Don’t let the younger ones get involved with this. I know it is their duty, but they deserve better.

Additionally, it has come to my attention that the Primal Steward is straight up nuts. First Aid came back to us on the brink of tears last deca-cycle. Doctor Ratchet is apparently on the edge of nose diving straight into some sort of breakdown and it does not comfort me in the slightest. He said it looked like a nervous reaction, something Ratchet couldn’t control. I am dead serious when I say he needs a Doctor, Smokescreen. Poor First Aid is losing his mind over all this. Can’t you do anything to help? I may not be Ratchet’s biggest fan after all he’s done to Orion, but even I can tell that mech isn’t doing all of this with a sound mind.

Regarding Carnage… nevermind. I don’t think you need to know about him. Simply put, I’ve experienced some frame changes. Having Carnage around has made my life make more sense. I also had a talk with Megatron after I ended up being unable to keep my sensory panels down after he dropped a plate. I was freaking out over it because, you know… my processor is literally exposed in the back when that happens and I get so much visual data I don’t know what to do. He didn’t get mad or anything, he just sat me down at the table and passed me a new visor and told me to put it on. A full facial visor, battle worthy too from my assessment of it. I did as he asked and the moment I had it on, it connected to my sub-sensory systems. I can actually control what I am seeing now.

With the visor the world is a lot easier to handle, and even Orion seemed happy for me. I was able to control how and when I flare my sensory panels. I could even control my extra optics for once. I know it doesn’t mean a lot to you, but I’ve never been able to operate normally and that visor meant the world to me. It has made a lot of things better, but more importantly to me at any rate, the dust doesn’t bother me nearly as much. And on top of that, helping Megatron search out typos in his poetry is far easier. Our poem production time has gone down exponentially, thank Primus. I can only handle so much of that when Orion is gone.

On another note, Orion bought the land the engraver’s hab was on. He’s hired a crew to go and build something or other in that area. He didn’t share the plans and Megatron keeps giving me this knowing look rather than actually explaining anything. The garden is growing well and I actually feel proficient in my work now. Everything is going according to mine and Orion’s outlined plans and things are… theoretically quiet.

 It has been storming a lot as of late, and I ended up getting sick for a while. It was the worst when the date night I mentioned last report actually occurred. I really did my best to help Megatron prepare for it, I even took some meds I nabbed from the pharmacy nearby. But it was rough, Smokescreen. I got to help Megatron cook a strange dish I cannot pronounce the name of, and it tasted delightful of course. Here’s the recipe if you like. I zipped it for your convenience. 

[Kaoni_dishes_that_I_like.zip]

As I was saying, I was super out of it that night. I did what I could, but my vision was blurry even with the visor. I couldn’t see straight and it felt like all my sensory sub-routines were out of sorts. Carnage tried to convince me to not help since my vision was so bad, but in the end he served as my guide throughout the night. He was my optics throughout the cycle, at least until my tactile sensors began acting up as well. I felt like every little thing was so much more… there? Even the ground beneath my pedes suddenly felt so hard that it hurt my legs. I must have been down on my firewall updates because by the time I retreated into my hole in the wall to let Megatron and Orion have their date night, I could hardly move far enough in to close the vent cover. I must have passed out at some point because the next thing I remembered was being pulled out by Megatron of all mecha.

I had no clue what time it was, where I was, or what was going on. I just recall being gently laid down somewhere soft and having my visor lifted enough for energon to be poured down my throat. It got bad enough that I remember being too overwhelmed to even vent properly. But at some point, I must have gotten well enough to sit up because my next real memory is of sitting in the garden all curled up late at night, my sensory panels fully flared. 

Why am I mentioning this at all? Because I got mouthy when I was sick, and while I was out there in the garden, me and Orion talked. He had… a lot to say after I said my piece. And I think you really need to start checking out our ranks, Smokescreen. Something is off. But anyway, our conversation went something like this:

“It is very lonely living this way. Always serving, never experiencing.”

“Are the working conditions here not to your liking? If so, I am terribly sorry, Melody.”

“No. I love working here. I love living here most of the time… but I have mecha who expect me to serve them since they took me in. Without them, I would probably have starved to death vorns ago.”

“You are an orphan?”

“No. My caretaker got rid of me after my optics became a problem. The Guar-, excuse me. My organization took me in after they found me wandering the streets. It was a chance at a better life… all in exchange for my service.”

“Are you running from them? Is that why you have no residence?”

“I… I don’t know. I don’t know if I can run from them… but I care about this place. I care about you and Megatron. You are the only bots who have treated me well. Like a real person.”

“I will not pry, but do know I understand your struggles to a degree. My Sire took me in from the wilds when I was just a sparkling. But he was a very strict mech.”

“You were brought up in the archives, right?”

“By the one and only Alpha Trion, the Master Archivist. He had plans for me that I never fully deciphered, so he raised me in relative isolation. I was forbidden to engage in anything that did not meet his standards. Including but not limited to most forms of leisure or potentially dangerous activity.”

“At least he cared about you.”

“I like to believe he did… but my life was cultivated to his vision. Even my friends were brought in by him. Ratchet, my oldest friend, was my physician long before he became my associate and began taking me to see the world my Sire forbade me to engage with. And Jazz only entered my life after Ratchet went through… an accident.”

“That’s terrible. I’m sorry.”

“It has been over for a long time now. I have my Conjunx, and he showed me everything I’ve ever missed. I do not regret my life in the slightest.”

“If it isn’t too much, could you tell me about Alpha Trion? How was he with you? Like… his habits and whatnot?”

“Why do you ask?”

“One of my bosses was looking into him, probably trying to locate a secret stash or something. I don’t know. It’s not really my business. But he wanted to know about Alpha Trion’s tendencies for his investigation last time I talked to him… I won’t tell him anything sensitive, but it would be nice to know.”

“… My Sire was always a strict mech. He had a tendency to use the fears and beliefs of those around him to his advantage. He tried hard to get me to become religious to the point of fanaticism by leaning into my interest in history, but it was not very effective. His most common method of getting me to obey was to use conditioning, associating certain activities with reward and others with punishment.”

“Sounds like my training.”

“What?”

“Sorry, continue.”

“Very well… He also had a surprising amount of influence, often digging his digits into religious organizations to get what he wanted. I do not know the extent of it, but by the time I was preparing to leave Iacon for good, I know he had much of the Primacy aiding him in collecting data. It seemed innocent enough for a Master Archivist, but looking back, those priests, and the Elite Guard for that matter, were oddly devoted.”

“The Elite Guard?”

“Yes. The Elite Guard and the Primacy listened to my Sire whenever he gave them an order. Strange, is it not? I never understood it… but I do know that he was very invested in cultural survival and put a great deal of time and effort into preserving archaic beliefs. I think he may have even been an associate of Sentinel Prime.”

“O-oh… How strange.”

As the conversation went on… I started to piece some things together. Alpha Trion had his digits in the Elite Guard and the Primacy, right? Well I started looking into our organization in my down time and I found a few worrying signs, Smokescreen. I know you are technically at the head of our order, but looking at the charts, it certainly doesn’t seem like you are actually in charge of much. No offence, but all you do is give speeches and assign personal escorts when needed. Do you actually know who is doing the sermons or the teaching? What about our recruits? I was looking into the Elite Guard training program and they are far harsher on the little ones than they were on me. Are we becoming radical?

The Decepticons did the same thing millennia ago and look where that led them! Seriously, who is in charge of the Elite Guard? Who is running the church? I can’t find any names, just references to the High Priest. Who is this person? Because I’m looking at the details of the Guard and, by Primus… fifteen casualties a stellar-cycle amongst recruits. We are overly fanatic, taught not to doubt our Prime. Taught to obey without question. That’s textbook cult behavior, Smokescreen! The Decepticon codex outlines what a corrupt organization looks like and we are it! Money is going places I can’t track. We have agents that are being deployed to suspicious locations. The Primacy is issuing heresy warrants. Heresy! That shouldn’t even be a law! If for no other reason than our Prime would never permit it!

I know I believed in the cause once… and I still believe in our faith, at least to an extent. Optimus Prime, even according to Megatron, was a mech with firm and moral ideals. But the Elite Guard? We are corrupt. This must be addressed as soon as possible. There is no other option. And if you don’t start doing something about it? I will .

I have Megatron’s audial. Or did you forget about that? He trusts me now. He has shown me more kindness than all of the Guard combined and through him I have begun to see things differently.  If I tell him our secrets and our training, I can guarantee you that he will tell Orion. And if Orion knows? There will be the wrath of Unicron banging on the doors of the Citadel. Please know that I don’t blame you for this. I’ve looked at your records. You were just a normal Guardsmech before the war, and from what I gather, you’ve just transferred over what you learned to us. But that doesn’t change the fact that all of this is wrong. 

I apologize for being so antagonistic, but something is wrong in our ranks. I don’t know if it is Alpha Trion’s influence or the mech himself, considering he was never confirmed dead. But I am going to stay here. I don’t care if you pull me back. I’m not going. I’m staying right here with my data until something is done about this. 

I’ll be sending additional reports if I find anything else of note. But the time to act is now. Please, listen to me. If you care at all about what we are meant to stand for, help us become better. You are our Head Elite Guardsmech. You have the power to change things. I implore you, do what you can before it is too late to act and you end up removed from power or wrapped up in it. That is not a threat by the way, that is just the natural outcome of things according to Megatron’s writings.

═════════════════

[Report Received: Visibility Status - Seen. Report… Redirected.]

Hush reporting once again. I really need to find a better greeting for these reports since we’ve gotten so buddy buddy about this whole thing. Sorry for the lack of decorum Sir. I just don’t really see the need for it anymore. I still respect you a lot, don’t get me wrong. I’m just real tired of posturing when I don’t need to, if that makes sense. It seems a bit much, really. Our Prime even said he hated the whole shtick, so I don’t see why we stick to it like magnets.

Besides that, Megatron and I were talking a while back and I kept calling you Head Guardsmech instead of Sir or anything else. Sorry for giving you away. Anyway, Megatron gave me a look for it and told me I’m better than giving everyone honorifics all the time. He flicked the side of my helm and made this face that was almost disappointed and said, quote:

“Spider, you have more wit and skill than half of the newbuilds who call themselves Guardsmecha. Give yourself some credit and drop all the posturing. You’ve long surpassed those who claim to be your betters.” 

A little arrogant? Maybe. A confidence booster though? Absolutely. I like not having to metaphorically get down on my knees for everyone a rank above me. Didn’t the Chaplain say we are only supposed to bow for our Prime and our god? Well, I’m only doing that from now on. Saves me the trouble of having to do all the extra honorific glyph work too.

That said, these past two stellar cycles have been interesting to say the least. Maybe weird is the best way to describe it. I can hear my fragging feline, Head Guardsmech. I thought it was just us getting along, but I swear to you on every single Prime to have vented on Cybertron that I can hear Carnage talking to me. Well, it’s not really words yet. But I’m getting better impressions of what he wants and what he’s trying to say. Am I losing my mind? He keeps resting in my cockpit too. He’s shifting around in there all funny and I think he’s trying to transform. Can mechanimals do that?

Maybe I’m just suffering from isolation syndrome. Any advice? I haven’t told Megatron about it yet, mainly because I keep forgetting. Still, I could use some thoughts if you have time. The good news though is that my optics are fully functional again! I haven’t been able to see through all of them since I was small. I can even flare my sensory panels again! I’ll tell you what, after vorns of having those things wrapped tight around my helm, it was an experience having them flare up at the slightest hint of danger. I’ve just taken to taping them down for now. As nice as it is to have control of them, well partial control, I don’t think I can use them without throwing my mission into the wind.

Megatron has been looking at me funny ever since, but I’m not budging on it. I can’t go flaring my sensors at people all that time. That’s not only weird, but stupidly dangerous for me. My processor is all exposed in the back when I do that.

Anyway, aside from my personal issues. I’ve begun to pick up bits and pieces from Orion via conversation. Since our talk and the whole scene in the garden, we’ve gotten along more. He hasn’t told me much yet, but he almost has a sixth sense for when I’m having a rough cycle and feeling down. He comes to talk to me when he picks up even a whiff of potential distress. So far, he’s shared with me how he also grew up very isolated, so he understands my struggles with loneliness. I may or may not have shared that my caretaker got rid of me after she got sick of my optics and all that, so Orion took that as something to bond over. Apparently, Alpha Trion was a very strict guardian, almost the opposite of mine, and rarely let Orion out to see the world. He’s also mentioned that Ratchet was the one who took him out to experience the wildness of reality for the first time. Maybe you could look into that? Or maybe not actually. That probably won’t go over well.

That said, I don’t have much data yet, but I’m working on it bit by bit. Aside from that, First Aid hasn’t said much else about the doctor, but I think I might have finally gotten a partial name. Wire something or other. First Aid suspects it's a suffix rather than a first part of a designation. He brought some fascinating new energon goodies though. He said they were from offworld and made by some colony bots who’ve been coming by to establish trade routes with Cybertron again after the great war. Excellent treats by the way.

Oh yes, regarding the engraver next door? I got sick of waiting for you to do something when I saw the fragger dragging a body out back to dispose of. So I got Megatron and asked him to help me with it after Orion went to work. He was skeptical, but I showed him a few lines from Toward Peace talking about righteous judgement and some photos I took of the scene and he agreed to help. He was even grinning a bit too. I think he’s been itching for a fight. And yes before you ask I did memorize the book, mostly. It’s got good stuff in it, as I’ve already elaborated on multiple times.

So yeah, we went on over there and got rid of the problem. It was a bit of a horror show, I must admit. Megatron had me go stand outside for a bit after I sniped the engraver from a nice spot a ways off. I’m not telling you what he did because I know someone will try and charge him with something or other, but he was very careful about his… aid. He didn’t want me to see whatever in the pits was going on in that building and I’m glad I didn’t have to. Megatron just lit the structure on fire and let it do its work. I had to do a bit of falsification and line cutting to make it look like a bad line snap, but yeah the building went down and the engraver went with it.

Don’t worry, we kept the fire controlled until the firefighters arrived, at which point Megatron dipped and I stepped in to tell the sob story about the whole affair. I still don’t know exactly what went on in that building, but I think I’m fine not knowing. And hey! Good news is that once they clear out all the rubble and stuff, Orion said he plans to buy the land to expand his garden! More space for me to plant stuff with him! See, it’s all for the mission. According to doctrine, I’m allowed to get rid of targets as needed and that engraver was one of them. It’s all to help me get closer to Orion, obviously.

Orion mentioned maybe hiring a crew to build something on the land too, but I wasn’t listening at that point. I was busy watching Carnage start chewing on bones I would rather not know the origin of. Good times were had all around, and if nothing else, I think Megatron likes me more now. Not entirely sure why, considering I murdered a mech. But then again, he is Megatron. So whatever.

After that whole debacle I helped Megatron prepare for a date night a few cycles later. That was surprisingly fun. Once Orion left for work, he had me sprinting all across Iacon to get him things. I had to run all the way down to a high grade place in the eastern quarter, and I ended up breaking protocol to transform and fly there since it was so far away. Got the cargo back safely and was promptly sent off to get ingredients for something I don’t know the name of. There was a lot of running back and forth.

He hasn't done anything with the stuff yet. He said he wanted to wait for the right time, whatever that means. But he did show me the recipe he plans to work with. I couldn’t read it for slag since it was in Kaoni, but it looked complicated. On the bright side, he’s been showing me how to cook via making fuel for Orion each night. I think he’s practicing for the date night he has planned, so he’s taking the chance to watch me flounder for fun I suppose. I may or may not have burned an entire crisp once.

I gave it to Carnage. He seemed to like it even though I got laughed at.

Oh, and I know you don’t care, but that fragging rug is still in place. It’s hideous but no matter how much I cringe at it, Orion loves the Primus forsaken thing. At least there’s not as much dust for me to fuss over. And organizing is easier now that I can just walk around and do my work. Although I will say Orion got a bit miffed when he caught me touching his paints. I’m not allowed near his collectables shelf anymore, no matter how much the disorganization irks me.

Honestly I think that’s everything. Still waiting on you to get those records opened up and to get Ratchet a doctor. I’ll report back later, once something happens.

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[Report Received: Visibility Status - Seen]

[Note from Head Elite Guardsmech Smokescreen: Thank you for the report, Hush. Please limit the snark. I can tell you are dealing with… something. But this is still a report, albeit a lax one. Try to stay professional. And for Primus’s sake don’t go performing vigilante justice. I’m letting this slide only because you are working on Megatron’s surveillance, but listen closely, Hush. No murders going forward or I’m pulling you back regardless. Understand?

Hush reporting in with yet another report. This is getting tedious. 

Before I begin, have you spoken to the Primal Steward? Or left a note for the Senate? I don’t mean to be pushy, Head Guardsmech, but this is getting out of servo. I give you a report with my genuine concerns and you never get back to me about it! You tell me to do something and I do it, but you don’t really talk to me. I know that’s presumptuous and out of line, but this stuff is important. I feel like our Prime would agree if he were here. Primus bless him. You did take my mission handling on as your own, so I really think we need some more open communication here. Just saying.

Anyway, when it comes to my actual report, this stellar cycle was pretty calm incident wise. Nothing too out of the ordinary when it comes to Orion and Megatron. My life has been… hectic. But they seem fine. I’ve had some strange protocols acting up, ones I can’t quite place. Carnage is around me all the time now, always trying to curl up with me, lick my plating, or otherwise be held. I think he’s fine, he certainly doesn’t seem sick. But maybe something is wrong with me? I am unsure. The medication First Aid has been giving me for my optics has been improving my sight progressively. I’ve found it easier to operate more of my optics, so if it means anything, I can see more of Megatron’s activities with less strain. I can almost move my sensory panels too. Almost. Whatever infection or issue was going on with them is being resolved quite quickly thanks to First Aid. My extra optics on my panels are starting to come online again as well.

I don’t know what to do about the excess protocols, but maybe it’s just in relation to my optics. I’ve always had problems with them. That said, Carnage went into the engraver’s place and came out with a torn off jaw. An actual jaw, Head Guardsmech. I’m telling you, something is going on over there and it isn’t good. The Guard are meant to be the Prime’s servos right? We should be dealing with this! Or if not us, the Enforcers are literally everywhere except where they need to be! Please get a search warrant issued or something.

In other news, Orion went before the Senate again and came back in a huff. I pulled out my Melody identity and offered to sit and talk to him about it if he wanted to. He didn’t accept the offer, saying something about not wanting to burden me. I’m working on it. I haven’t forgotten your orders. Once I build up enough of a relationship with my target, I’ll get that data on Alpha Trion for you. But I’m not going to do it falsely, Sir. With all due respect, I don’t want to hurt Orion by being fake about it. If I’m going to learn about this stuff, I want to do it the right way. Besides, I doubt Orion would talk about it at all unless he had to. From what I gather, he doesn’t even talk to Megatron about Alpha Trion.

I know Orion was Alpha Trion’s student. But whatever is going on there seems a bit more serious. I’ll approach the subject in a few more stellar cycles perhaps. You know, just to give our relationship time to settle. I think by now me and Orion are friends. Not great ones yet, but friends nonetheless. He lets me come inside for things not related to work now. I actually had to go learn how to take aesthetic pictures because Orion really likes coming with me to take them. At first Megatron accompanied us to the local gardens to photograph things Orion liked. I kinda just rolled with it. I wasn’t having the most fun, but Orion looked thrilled and I didn’t want to be a spoilsport. Honestly it was a rough cycle for me, that particular outing anyway. I was having that oh so lovely bout of loneliness that all the Inquisitors have after a while. I know I was trained to deal with it, but it was difficult at the time.

Seeing Orion and Megatron so happy reminded me of my past a bit. I got it mostly trained out of me during my time in the Inquisitor program, but stuff comes back to you after a while. I loved and hated seeing Orion and Megatron have something I didn’t have, at least for a bit. It never really bothered me up until that moment. But you know what? Orion noticed. I thought I was good about hiding it, but when he saw I was just going through the motions, he took my servo very gently and asked if I was alright.

I’m a bit ashamed to admit it, but I answered honestly. I told him no, and that I wasn’t feeling well and needed to go home. I thought that was going to be the end of it when I handed him my camera and gave him permission to use it to take pictures at his leisure. But then he asked if I wanted to walk back to my hab with him and Megatron as escorts. He offered to come with me because, quote:

“You don’t look like you should be alone right now. I know how isolating it can be, and sometimes, no matter how much you dislike it in the moment, it is best to have someone with you so your thoughts don’t take you away.”

I didn’t agree with it at first. After all, Orion is one of my targets and it’s not as if I can just reveal I live in his fragging walls. Megatron certainly seemed stressed as well, considering he also knows I don’t have a home to be walked back to. I mean Orion was operating under the idea that I only lived a few blocks away from his hab. That whole shtick was about to go up in smoke so I ended up coming clean again, kind of. I know I shouldn’t have, but Orion was being nice and I wasn’t about to throw Megatron under the bus. What I said was pretty much:

“I don’t… actually have a hab. I’m sorry I lied during our initial meeting, but I didn’t want you to find me shady or incapable of working for you. I have somewhere dark and dry I recharge in, so please don’t worry too much… but I don’t need to be walked back. I would rather not have you see where I hide out to escape observation.”

He looked horrified, Head Guardsmech. Well maybe that’s a bit much, but pity mixed with shock probably comes close. I took my leave after that and was pretty sure I’d blown something, be it our relationship or my station as a whole. I didn’t even climb back into the walls that night. I was too ashamed really. I know it was silly, but I don’t really… have a home, do I? Sure, the Guard says that we are all family and that our home is with our brethren but I don’t have a place of my own. I don’t have a hab filled with pretty little collectibles or comfy thermal sheets. I don’t have a place to put all my knitting material up or anywhere to hang the pictures I take or place my indoor plants.

I have a small hole in the wall where I’ve spent the past vorn and change wasting away, watching two happy bots live a life I could only ever dream of. Is that selfish? I mean I was chosen for this role. Taken up from the lower levels and saved from possible starvation and made into a better person through the Guard. But I wasn’t really given a choice in that, was I? Toward Peace and the Decepticon manifesto say that mecha of all frames, functions, and origins should be able to choose their path in life. I didn’t get to do that. I understand sacrifice and duty are the creed of the good and the holy, but I want a life eventually.

It’s lonely living like this.

But, I think things are getting a bit better, even if it’s temporary. The very next cycle after my little outburst, I turned up for work as normal. But instead of Orion directing me toward the plants he wanted me to care for, he looked me dead in the optics and asked me if where I was living was safe. I told him it was mostly safe, if I was quiet and didn’t make much noise, a half truth of sorts. That seemed to set him off a bit, but not in an angry way. He sat me down, grabbed my servo gently and asked me again if I was safe. Not if my living situation was safe, but if I was safe.

I didn’t know how to answer. He took that to mean no and pressed a card into my servo. He told me to consider it payment for my future services and to begin looking for a residence. He even offered to help me look for good places, and for a doctor to look at my optics. I wasn’t sure what to do, Head Guardsmech. I wasn’t supposed to get this involved… but thankfully, Megatron stepped in and quietly asked to talk to me without Orion present. I don’t know what he said, but I assume Orion bought it because he left and Megatron sat across from me and for the very first time, we actually talked.

Orion wasn’t there, neither was First Aid. It was just us, sitting at the table as target and spy respectively. It was kind of awkward at first, but as we sat there, with me getting ready to run for my life, he just crossed his arms and started chatting with me. It was casual, starting with simple stuff like how it had been for the past vorn. I kept it vague, as training tells all Inquisitors to do when caught in the act of spying. I told him it was stressful but not unmanageable, that the situation had grown to be casual for me and that it was no longer too terrible since I’d taken up dusting the fragging house. Seriously if I weren’t here the dust would be unmanageable, and the organization, sweet Primus. 

Anyways, we just talked for a bit. Eventually we started discussing his works, Toward Peace and the like. It was an insightful discussion, not even lying. Megatron told me about his history. How he served in the mines and learned there was injustice was. He told me about how he fought his way to the pits, where he battled every single cycle just to live and spread his ideals. He never got into the war part, but he told me about his struggles during the times of Old Cybertron. It put a lot of things into perspective for me, but I did end up asking why he was telling me all that stuff, and you know how he answered?

“Because, Spider, you remind me of an old friend, and what I saw in him, I see in you. All you lack is conviction.”

I don’t really get it, even now. But long story short, we talked for at least a few joors, maybe longer, I don’t know. Orion made tea at some point and brought it to us but I was a bit too wrapped up in one of Megatron’s gladiator stories to really thank him at the time. Eventually when I’d had my tea and Orion wandered off, Megatron just kinda looked at me funny, as if thinking about something. Then he told me he’d cover for me and tell Orion I’d gotten a temporary place, but that once I figured myself out, he wanted me to get a real hab.

I am unsure what he means by that, but I think he meant well since he clasped my shoulder and handed me a pastry from storage before making a show of letting me stay the night on the couch. It was really rough to not try and run, but Carnage curled up with me after a while and that made things better. I always feel better when my feline is around. Orion even let me borrow one of his thermal sheets.

I don’t understand why they are so kind to me. Well, logically I do. Megatron is keeping an optic on me because I am a spy. Why he tolerates me so much is beyond me, but I’ve learned from him… so maybe we have something. Orion is just a nice mech altogether, so it makes sense that he’d be nice to someone who doesn’t instantly go throwing insults or running in disgust. I might have been that way if we’d met in the wild, but a vorn of observation does stuff to a bot. Right, it’s fine. This is all fine. I got somewhere nice to recharge that wasn’t the hard vents for once and it was unreasonably nice. I won’t get used to it though.

Ah frag what else happened? Uh, I’m still working on the Trion stuff so please hold out another report or two. I’ve been asking First Aid about that random doctor you wanted data on. All I know is that Orion thinks he is interesting and wants to talk to him eventually about old records or something. I don’t know, it seemed kind of dull and I was eating Megatron’s energon goodies at the time. I had my priorities straight. First Aid also mentioned something or other about Ratchet becoming more unhinged, but that feels like the regular update at this point. Seriously, get that mech a medic. First Aid says he would help, but he’s not permitted to do slag about anything when it comes to his immediate superior officer. Another Doctor has to do all that.

Isn’t Doctor Knockout around somewhere? I get he was a Con, but so was half the population. Maybe ask him to come check the Primal Steward out?

I think that’s all I have at the moment. Except one final note:

You should read Megatron’s works. It’s made me think about some things and myself. Maybe it will help you too. The public deserves to have access to this sort of knowledge. So please, get this figured out.

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[Report Received: Visibility Status - Seen]

[Note from Head Elite Guardsmech Smokescreen: Hush, you are worrying me. You don’t sound particularly stable based on your reports. I am aware you are likely using these as a way to vent, considering how unprofessional these have become in recent cycles. But Hush, I will have you pull back as soon as you get the data I need because this is concerning. 

Don’t linger longer than you need to. Get the data on Alpha Trion and that doctor and report back. Then wait for further instruction and orders to return. Understood? I will try my best to look into the matters you’ve suggested, but my focus is currently elsewhere.

I’m here with yet another report. Sorry for being so slow in my writing. There’s been a lot going on recently. Not dangerous stuff, of course. Just things and domestic activity. Now that I’m here as Melody, I’ve become wrapped up in household affairs. I can’t help but get involved in all of it, and I don’t think Orion minds much. Megatron certainly doesn’t. The longer I’m here, the more accepting he is of my presence.

I know it’s unorthodox, but I’m making progress like this. I’m integrating and can learn so much more than I would have otherwise been able to by making myself part of this weird family situation that’s begun to develop. I’ve been returning for my usual wipes, as requested though. Please don’t worry, I’m not a traitor or anything. I went in just last deca-cycle to get my recent memories uploaded for the Elite Guard to share. I’ve read so much and seen so much that I really think we could use it. I’m not trying to be a sympathizer or anything of the sort, but I do think some of the documents the Decepticons were using during the start of the war, before they went nuts mind you, were actually well thought out. 

Hear me out about this. Toward Peace was Megatron’s first published work, and while it is certainly controversial, I think it’s still a fantastic read. If one looks at it from the perspective of the author, with the mindset of the time, and with knowledge of how functionalist things were back then, Megatron is not at all incorrect in his writing. I’ll get to my actual report in a bit, but I just want to emphasize this. Toward Peace, The Oppression of Self, Martial Law & Social Injustice, and even Megatron’s old poem collection Broken Unity are brilliant pieces of literature. Some of the quotes still apply today if you ask me. Look at these lines:

“Even if our frames are shackled, freedom is still ours. True defeat only comes when the mind is rewritten and brought low. No matter how much we are beaten, so long as we maintain our hopes and our ideals, they can never fully break us.”

“Justice. That is what the priests proclaim from their ivory towers. Equality is what they cry as newbuilds are lined up like cattle mere moments after their emergence and then assigned a purpose with no regard for their sparks. Freedom is what they preach as the mecha condemned to the pits grind their gears to dust. Does this not scream of hypocrisy?”

“I write this from the very essence of my spark and with all the conviction of my being. No Cybertronian, young or old, femme, mech or other, should endure the sufferings of the castes. The worth of the spark cannot be determined by mere medical examination. To think otherwise is to deny the individuality that makes us what we are.”

Megatron has a point, Head Guardsmech. I think you and anyone else with a functioning processor can see that. I understand he did horrible things and that his ideals were corrupted as the war dragged on. But these thoughts, these emotions that he wrote down… they aren’t incorrect. They are enlightening. I don’t understand why these texts are banned. If more mecha read these things, I believe the people would understand the Decepticons and there would be far less cases of heresy because Autobots and Decepticons could bond. That’s less work for us and more freedom for the people. That’s what our Prime wanted, right? I mean, the Autobot regulation guidelines and codex are out and free for all to read. So why aren’t the Decepticon texts given that same treatment? I know you aren’t in charge of all that stuff, especially the Elite Guard’s internal operations. But please, can’t you do something about this?

I’ve been looking into Orion’s work recently and I’ve found far more than just Megatron’s work restricted. I would understand to an extent if it was just his writing, but all Decepticon literature is banned. Even the medical texts! I’ve read over Orion’s shoulder while moving stuff around the hab for him and I’ve seen those texts. They have things that could help so many mecha, Head Guardsmech. Surgeries to help those with malfunctioning T-Cogs. Medication for those with severe mood swings. A whole therapy regime for those enduring wartime trauma and guilt over the war as a whole. By the Primes, I saw… a medical text that could have been used to help me. 

They have a technique for bots with optics like mine. If I had been given access to this documentation when I was younger, I wouldn’t be like this. My optics wouldn’t hurt all the time from lack of care. I wouldn’t constantly be trying to cover my helm for fear of my processor getting blown out whenever I use my extra optics either. Those texts had schematics for a special helm piece that would cover my weaknesses. Don’t you know how much that sort of thing could help me? How much it could help others with heightened senses or extra sensory units? I’ll give you the answer to that. It could change everything for bots like me.

Look, I’m not going to get on your case about it. I know it isn’t your realm of expertise. But please, look into it. I know the Decepticons did bad things. But not everything they did was wrong. Can’t you talk to the Primal Steward? Maybe leave a note? It just… it would mean a lot.

Sorry. Getting onto my actual report, I’ve been integrating well, as I previously said.

I spend most of the cycle working out in the garden nowadays. It has grown well, and the plants aren’t overly unruly. The crystal spires are small right now, but in a few vorns, they will reach Megatron’s height if all goes well. The trees have thankfully adjusted to the soil instead of trying to die every two cycles. Most of the shrubbery survived its rehoming, but Carnage did attempt to eat the entirety of one of Orion’s stranger plants that I still don’t know the name of. I only really noticed it recently, but the garden is growing into a particular formation. I think it’s making an emblem, but I can’t be all that certain so soon into its development. Anyway, it’s very pleasant out there in the garden now. I have tea with Orion and First Aid regularly now. 

First Aid has been bringing interesting reports with him, lots of talk about medical malpractice due to the old war vets coming back in. Apparently all of the ‘doctors’ from the war aren’t certified for the most part. Yeah a lot of them are certified, but First Aid says that their education is lacking or highly specialized to whatever world they were stuck on during the great Exodus. Supposedly, there’s this older medic that’s been wandering rogue in the lower levels for vorns now that First Aid has been trying to catch. According to the rumors, he wanders around doing work for free using strange archaic methods.

Surprisingly, amongst the patients First Aid checked up on, they are all perfectly healthy. Most say the Doctor came in, made them chew on some rocks or eat some unknown plant and the next thing they knew, BAM! Their self repair systems were shot into action. One bot even had his wings soldered back into place. And not even with a proper welder. This old medic just kinda came in, stitched the wing into place with wire, shoved a rock down the bot’s throat, and the wing started to self repair. First Aid has been kinda obsessed when he isn’t chattering with Orion about stuff I don’t understand or worrying about the Primal Steward.

He doesn’t talk much about Doctor Ratchet, at least outside of his usual worries. You should check in on him. I know I’ve expressed my concerns before considering his… tendencies with Orion. But I think you should get Ratchet some medical attention, just in case. With what I saw… he doesn’t seem well. First Aid isn’t making it sound as though he’s getting better either. 

Regarding Orion and Megatron: They haven’t done anything particularly noteworthy. Megatron has been taking my work as his own, as per usual. He calls it rent when it’s just the two of us. But to be fair, he threw a few thermal sheets up into the vents for me so that’s a plus. Megatron has also made a few more posts online about his dissatisfaction with the world at large, but I’ve been here long enough to know it’s not really a heresy charge. Honestly I doubt it would be worth it to bother with attempting to get him for anything with Orion up in arms all the time. 

Speaking of Orion, he’s been improving rapidly. He no longer has rampant night terrors or severe reactions to physical touch aside from Megatron. I got to shake his servo two deca-cycles ago, and just last cycle, he clasped my shoulder. It may not sound like much, but for him, that’s a big sign of trust. Over the last few stellar cycles he’s opened up a bit too. We talk a lot now. Not about important stuff, generally. Just the garden, landscaping, and that fragging engraver next door. I swear to you on every single one of the Primes that he’s doing something shady over there. There’s an unusual amount of shavings outside his hab now. And I keep tabs on his number of customers and it is not adding up.That level of shaving comes from either having a hundred customers wanting their engravings all within a deca-cycle of each other… or someone is getting chopped up in there. 

I have my mission and I won’t deviate… yet. But if someone isn’t sent over to check that whole mess out, I will be letting Megatron know. I don’t think he is fully aware, if at all. Orion doesn’t really talk to Megatron about the engraver since it’s such a miner thing all things considered. I think he’s mentioned it, but only because none of us like watching that mech sit out on his porch and fiddle with what we are pretty sure is a real optic that’s been put into a ball, like some twitched fidget toy. Me and Orion have our theories, but I keep the deck clear of any of the shavings, and now that Carnage is with me, the poor feline isn’t yowling late at night and waking everyone up. 

Speaking of Carnage, he came out of my cockpit about a stellar cycle after getting in and refusing to get back out again. When he came out, he was different. I expected the poor thing to starve in there, but he was perfectly healthy when he emerged. And more importantly, he looked aware? I don’t know, but he’s been following me more, demanding in my cockpit and getting antsy with Megatron. He loves Orion, which I find hilarious. But I guess I can almost feel him, in a sense? I can vaguely sense when Carnage is around and maybe it’s just those optics getting to me, but I swear I can feel what he’s feeling sometimes. It’s how I know he really really does not like getting scruffed by Megatron when he’s on the counter without permission.

Hmm I am trying to think of what else has gone on. Not a lot I think. Megatron let me lick the bowl clean after he made some sort of pastry using it. That was fun. Ten out of ten would try again by the way. I have no clue what he made because I was stuck trying to fight Carnage off while cleaning out the blasted thing, but it smelled delightful and considering Orion was covered in both frosting and various intimate marks, I’m going to assume the pastry was a hit.

Oh, one last thing in case you were worried. Orion is under the assumption that I live nearby so when I vanish, he’s not all that worried. I am still very much hiding out in the walls so I can listen in. I’ve also done a ton of work to make getting dolled up as Melody more efficient by foregoing my Elite Guard colors. I still have my badge, but it’s all covered up. So if anyone comes looking to check in on me and sees white and gold, don’t worry it’s still me. Just in costume.

I made a few more plushies. But that’s about all. I’ll report back in when something interesting happens. 

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[Report Received: Visibility Status - Seen]

[Note from Head Elite Guardsmech Smokescreen: Hush, I’m warning you. Stop this. Stop trying to understand Megatron’s movement. I get it, you like him. I find the mech interesting when he isn’t being insufferable too. But if you keep getting into the weeds of it all you are going to lose yourself. You are already away from the Guard and actively living with these bots. Do you have any idea how easy it is to lose track of what you are doing and actually believe the lies you spout to blend in?

I’m not going to pull you out yet specifically because I want you to listen closely to what First Aid has to say. Chaplain Paradox is interested in that wandering Doctor but can’t get slag out of Ratchet or his assistant on a good cycle. So listen out for information on that. Additionally, since you are so invested, I want you to try and get some information out of Orion for me.

Hooooooooooooooboy. Things certainly took a turn for the messed up after your return was announced. Orion Pax is NOT OKAY. He hasn't left his hab since the announcements went out on the news, and has spent each cycle working himself up into a near frenzy with paranoia and fear. Of YOU, Optimus. He’s scared of you.

He hasn't been to the Archives in many cycles, and has mostly been spending his time in berth, shaking like a slagging leaf in the wind. He's started having nightmares nearly every recharge cycle, most are severe in their presentation. Megatron even is struggling with the lack of proper recharge due to Orion’s disruptions. Several times in a recharge cycle he wakes Megatron either by screaming, thrashing or releasing some extreme field manipulations. It sometimes takes a joor or longer to calm him back down enough to attempt to recharge again.

He's also been having a difficult time keeping his field under control. Apparently this is why he has chosen to self-isolate in their hab. I heard him and Megatron discussing it this morning. Orion indicated that he feared he would unintentionally harm others if he were to leave. Judging by how ah….. Oppressive his positive emotions feel when he’s at home, I can only imagine how bad his negative ones must feel.

Megatron then contacted Ratchet to request some medications and an extension of medical leave. Sounds like the two argued a little, I'm not sure, but Megatron was angry enough for Orion to politely suggest he calm down.

Regardless, Orion Pax is terrified of you. I'm… trying not to take what Orion says to spark. I'm not going to lie to you, Optimus. I always had a hunch that you weren't… him. I don't know all the details of how you came to be and I don't blame you for your creation but its… It's hard to stay neutral after hearing the mech who was my best friend speak about how afraid he is. Of you.

Primus, Optimus… In his nightmares, you come to trap him and to kill Megatron. He’s petrified of you coming after Megatron. He sometimes rambles for joors about you fulfilling your duty and coming for them. I’m not… entirely sure what he means by being trapped. I can’t even pretend to fully understand the situation between you two during the war, but it sounds like it was a truly torturous experience for him, by how much he fears returning to that state.

I tried again to crack into his medical records to see if I could find any more answers on his thoughts regarding his time with you, but yeah, It was a no-go. Orion’s records are LOCKED DOWN. It's honestly… a little weird. Medical files aren’t usually secured so tightly. Maybe this is something to ask Ratchet about??

Anyway, he was working when the news of your return came through to him. I happened to be at just the right angle to see exactly what happened: Orion was at his work station assisting his archivists in processing data from the current news cycle when your announcement hit. As soon as he processed your voice he froze solid, and his optics cycled in a weird way, like he was in a dark room. He started to shake uncontrollably, so much so that I could hear his plating rattling even from where I was hiding.

One of the other archivists came up behind him and placed their servo on his shoulder, and that sent Orion into a frenzy. He tried to run, but he didn't seem to know where he was. He crashed into a wall and clawed at it like a mechanimal. I don’t think he was processing visual signals correctly. It was a mess; datapads everywhere, work stations overturned, broken shelving units... The archivists all scattered, one of them thought to comm Megatron. By the time he arrived, Orion had been locked in his work station for everyone's safety, and was on the floor in a near catatonic state. He didn't even address Megatron when he came in, nor did he seem to notice Megatron when he gathered him into his arms to soothe him. Megatron stayed with Orion in the Archives until it closed down for the cycle, singing to him and telling him that he was safe. Once all the other archivists had gone home, then he brought Orion out and carried him back to their hab. He couldn't get Orion to talk to him until the next morning, though.

Listen Optimus. I really don’t understand the deal between you two. I wasn’t there all the time. I have no idea how bad things were for each of you, but I do know that I have never seen Orion react to anything that way. I have never seen him that afraid. And it lingered, OP. He has been in a constant state of fear since that cycle, even with Megatron at his side. He jumps at every sound he hears, even when he’s in recharge. He seems to think that you and the guard are an imminent threat.

I’m not entirely sure what your intentions are with Orion, but my suggestion is that you do not attempt to approach him until his fears have been pacified, unless you wanna get bit. As usual, here's a journal entry.

_______

I am absolutely devastated. I am unsure if I can even properly describe all the emotions tumbling in my spark at the news I received this cycle. Megatronus and I were so diligent in filing all the appropriate forms to ensure I got the time off we needed for our trip to Kaon. All the slagging hoops they made us jump through…

I should have expected this. Every single step was nothing but spark wrenching setback after setback. It wasn’t enough for us to prove our bond personally, we had to fill out forms and documents that end up not accepting our cultural rites and refusing to acknowledge a bond forged in secrecy for fear of persecution.

Our bond was forged before these fragging forms were even written!! He and I were united in spark and frame millennia before most of those glitches were even forged! Why do they have so much power over which rites are deemed acceptable and which are not? They do not even have an appropriate option for the cultural rites of Vos!!

I was appalled when they tried to offer me forms to have an Iaconian rite performed for us. Our rites are SACRED. They cannot simply be overwritten by the new Iaconian standards and I know I was probably more emotional than required when I expressed my disgust at the notion. But I was then reassured that if I only wrote a letter to the board of registrations explaining our situation and reasons for refusing a new rite, that we would be able to register our bond this way. Another setback, as that was refused with no reasons given, although I suspect the reasoning was simply seeing “Megatron of Kaon” as one of the parties involved. Filing or registering anything with his designation attached is difficult.

After that I spoke with upper archival staff to see what I should do, and they suggested reaching out to Senator Blueflow personally, as he is the one who approves connubial leave requests. I had, thus far, known Blueflow to be a somewhat reasonable mech, so I was hopeful that that would be fruitful. But he merely directed me to the file the connubial request forms even though I had already explained to him that Megatronus and I were currently unregistered.

Rejected. Another letter sent. This time with many archivists writing testimonials affirming that our bond is obvious, active and healthy. Only to be rejected again. I do not qualify as our bond, despite being millennia strong, does not meet the requirements. I should have expected it. I should have known. But it hurts.

I have worked so hard… I never took a cycle off. I came in when I was not required when asked. I performed beyond my designated shifts in the hopes that this one request would be granted; so that Megatronus and I may go home and reforge our rites in the very place we forged them originally. It is sacred to us… Why can’t they understand that?? Why do they not see the obvious pain in my spark at being denied the right to properly reforge an old and yearning bond?