saint haven

got told I didn't deserve to be gay because I thought lady gaga wrote money money money by abba. sorry men I am no longer attracted to you as of today. sorry abba sorry gaga sorry women sorry world

fucking love when bitches lie to me for fun. i just asked this dude about a scar on his chest (perfectly vertical, about 3 inches long) and he launched into this story about how it was an injury he’d gotten from a metal overhang on a boat in highschool and ended the story with “but actually i got heart surgery”

y’all wanna know something even better. the heart surgery part of the story was the lie. i asked him about it later and he went “oh yeah no, it really was from a boat, i just realized halfway through telling you the truth that i could lie and it would be really funny”

we’re dating now

explaining the concept of "blorbo from my shows" to a tudor era peasant and when i'm finished they grab my hand and start excitedly gesturing at a poster advertising a performance of shakespeare's hamlet at the globe theatre

[ID A photo of a cat sitting on a laptop. The laptop's home screen is a photo of the same cat looking forward with wide pupils. End ID]