selina

Eventhough I have to study a lot on the weekend, I'm so happy that this week is finally over. Going back to school and work has been harder for me than I expected. I've been studying all afternoon long for the past seven days straight and can already feel the exhaustion kicking in.

I'm gonna use the weekend to at least calm things down a little bit and take some time off for my self care. I really need some time for myself to get distracted from all the serious stuff that's going on at the moment.

Have a good weekend! 🖤

The snow is everywhere and I actually think it's safe to say that we're currently having one of the heaviest winter seasons of the last four or five years. It's super cold, but the beautiful views and the white landscapes are definitely worth the freezing temperatures! ❄

My thursday actually went pretty well at and after school, I only had two classes, went to the city and bought a jean jacket and I was already back home at 2 pm. However, my mental health still decided to punch me right in the face (maybe because my day was pretty good) and makes me struggle with the weirdest and hardest overthinking and self doubts right now. I'm gonna finish the day with some reading and listening to music and I just hope I'm gonna feel better tomorrow, psychically.

Oh, by the way: After doing at least a bit of studying for my mock examination this afternoon, I made a playlist page for January in my bullet journal. I discovered some great new bands and songs within the last week and I just can't tell you how much I'm in love with music. It always lifts me up, no matter what.

It was snowing all day long today, so the region I live in pretty much ended up in complete chaos.

My first day back at the lab turned out so much better than I thought it would be. It honestly was a great day at work, we always had something to do but it never got too stressful.

As soon as I got home, I heard the news that both Bohemian Rhapsody and Rami Malek won a Golden Globe! The thought of one of my favorite movies and Rami as this breathtaking and amazing actor finally getting what they deserve instantly made me smile. I just love this whole cast so damn much! I'm so happy, omg! 💛

I also started studying for the chemistry part of my mock examination today and spent A TON of time on that. I'm literally so exhausted now, I could pretty much close my eyes and fall asleep on my feet.

Here we go. Sunday is slowly coming to an end and the next period of college is beginning tomorrow. But before classes start, I have to work at the lab again on Monday and Tuesday, which normally is great, like I already said. But at the moment it's just giving me the worst anxieties eventhough nothing's actually wrong. I even got anxiety attacks last night, including the whole package: tachycardia, sweating, constant overthinking and getting no rest whatsoever at all.

It all went well every time I worked there so far and I guess it's gonna be alright this time too. For some reason, it's still very hard for me to actually believe that. Social anxiety really is a bitch (I'm sorry). I guess I'll see what tomorrow brings.

Here's a song that really helped me to calm myself down a little during the weekend.

Good night world. 🖤

I saw Bohemian Rhapsody in the theater for the second time yesterday and it made me just as happy as it made me when I watched it for the first time. The impact this movie and its beautiful and artsy way of portraying the history of one of my all time favorite bands has on me is insane.

Today I woke up not feeling too well, mental-health-wise. Eventhough everything is going alright at the moment and there's nothing actually wrong, I just feel sad for no visible reason. Additionally, my overthinking is killing me this weekend. College starts again on Monday after this beautiful Christmas break and I have to work at our local hospital's lab again, which normally is pretty cool because I love all the activities there so much, but it sucks that there's always such a long period between working at the lab once and going there the next time. I always feel like I don't remember anything anymore and like I'm just some dumb student that can't handle getting back to her job after some time has passed. So obviously, my anxiety is slowly bringing me down again these days and it's getting worse the closer Monday is coming.

Luckily, there's one activity that calms me down like basically nothing else: Reading. Reading is so therapeutic. It takes you to a whole different world and all your anxieties and thoughts are mute for a while. I'm currently reading the Freddie Mercury biography that my parents got me for Christmas and it's so beautifully written that it makes me fall in love with Queen even more.

I also did some studying for my hematology test on Wednesday, but I'm pretty much done with studying for all the different topics, so it's just revision time now.

By the way, I started a study log in my Bullet Journal a few days ago to track the time I've spent with studying on every day of January and I think I'm gonna continue this until my mock examination in March. I also prepared and created my weekly spread for the last week of January.

𝟜𝕥𝕙 𝕠𝕗 𝕁𝕒𝕟𝕦𝕒𝕣𝕪, 𝟚𝟘𝟙𝟡

𝟘𝟙-𝟘𝟙-𝟚𝟘𝟙𝟡