BASTARD GUY

i swear2god i have never functioned properly outside pollokshields. i feel so at peace and in control here. even just walking down the street here i feel so much better and in less pain. im surrounded by people who love me n pray for me to do well here. 

when my dad leaves it’s essentially my responsibility to maintain familial security with my aunts and grandma. like everyone will look to me and i can’t be absent - not out of risking my own credibility but because i couldn’t live with myself if i didnt. 

im gonna miss my dad so much when he goes, i just want closure with all the shit thats happened, i wont be able to live w myself if he leaves and things are still as fucked as they are rn