Pained Flesh

in very good exciting news, i have an appointment to get rolling with T again on june 9th, a huge weight off my shoulders after going without for two years thanks to floridas bullshit.

i was given a cost estimate upfront, which is $350 (per visit, i do not have insurance so its out of pocket); i have some time until the day rolls around, but id like to get as much together as i can so that once it Does im not stressing and everything goes as smoothly as possible.

i have comms open, but you can also dono here if you want:

my comm info is under the cut n__n ty yall !!

according to data aggregated from 2013 to the end of 2024, approximately 85% of transgender homicide victims in the usa are people of color - with a majority of victims being black transgender women.

also, if you're going to share pictures of sam, show what he actually looked like as himself - not the pretansition photo picked by basically every fucking news outlet. pre-transition and non-op/non-medically transitioning transgender people are obviously still trans, but that was not his current situation at all, and it's so profoundly disrespectful to latch onto an outdated photo to represent him. here's what he looked like in actual recent pics he chose to share on his own social media:

Our situation has become far worse than before.

My baby, Khaled, who is now 6 months old, depends on formula milk, which is either unavailable or sold at prices I simply cannot afford. Diapers are also ridiculously expensive, and even basic food has become out of reach.

Some vegetables and fruits are available in the market, but I can only afford to buy a single piece at a time, which becomes one meal for Khaled. But what about the rest of the day? What about the following days? As a mother, I can endure hunger, but how can a baby?

Even flour, which we relied on for our basic sustenance, is almost unavailable. The little we managed to buy is infested with bugs and worms, unhealthy but the only option we have left. And now, it’s almost gone. What will we do after that?

Khaled’s health has also worsened. He struggles to breathe due to his chest allergies, a condition that developed under these harsh circumstances. He needs regular nebulizer sessions and medication, but we can barely afford to provide them.

Here is precious little Khaled, tired and fatigued from hunger and sickness, receiving nebulizer treatment:

And here is the flour Suad and her family are forced to pick through in order to survive.

Sifting only removes the largest insects that have made their home in the flour. It does not remove larvae, detached wings, or excrement. Suad and her family are forced to eat them in order to (barely) avoid starvation.

Suad’s situation has never been more dire than it is right now. Food and basic necessities are extremely scarce and expensive. And the threat of IOF attack is omnipresent.

Please, if you can spare anything at all, send something to Suad. We are her and her baby’s best chance at surviving genocide.

Khaled is only 6 months old, but every day is a fight for survival: no formula milk, no diapers, barely any food. The little flour we could afford is infested with bugs, and now it’s almost gone. How do I explain to a baby why there’s nothing left?

He’s struggling to breathe, his tiny chest-worn down by sickness and these unbearable conditions. I can endure hunger, but Khaled doesn’t understand.

I’m begging for your kindness before this year ends. Share this story across all your social media, write a post, or donate if you can. Please don’t leave us to face this alone. Your voice, your action—no matter how small—could save his life. 💔

And a piece by the guy involved

By "easily-achievable", I mean in the 50-60K range and below. Once again, drawing from my pinned list of fundraisers, which have all been vetted by Palestinians on Tumblr (check that post for the proof next to each family name). I'll update this post just like the main list and the "under 1000 donations" list. Many of these are extremely close to completing their funding. Let's help get them there!

As always, donate if you can, reblog if you can't!

LAST UPDATED 9/22

10K range

Aya's family Goal: 15K 1764 TO GO!

The Saftawi family Goal: 16K 1206 TO GO!

20K range

The Sami family Goal: 20K Half funded

Zaen and Yehya Goal: 25K 1/3 funded

The Ismaeel family Goal: 25K 1/3 funded

Ashraf's family Goal: 25K 1224 TO GO!

30K range

Ahmed's family Goal: 30K 1/3 funded

The Alnabih family Goal: 30K 3451 TO GO! No longer accepting donations

Issam Aziz's mother Goal: 30K 1812 TO GO!

Amira's family Goal: 39K 3/4 funded

40K range

The Hor family Goal: 40K Under 1/5 funded

The Abushammaleh family Goal: 40K 1/3 funded

The Shaqoura family Goal: 45K 2/3 funded

The Aburass family Goal: 45K 1/4 funded

Note: The Aburass campaign is in SEK, so the goal is technically 450K, but converted to USD it's closer to 45. Ultimately I decided to include this one since USD, CAD, GBP, and EUR will be more powerful here, and a huge chunk of the site's user base will pay with one of those currencies. The more hands on deck, the better.

50K range

Amal's family Goal: 50K Under 1/5 funded

(Reblogged) The Baalou family Goal: 50K 1/5 funded

Walaa's family Goal: 50K 1/4 funded

The Shorbaje family Goal: 50K 1/3 funded

The Aldeeb family Goal: 55K 3/4 funded

I need you to understand that this is one of the worst things that can be done to someone, that it completely breaks you down. It is generally paired with isolation from other patients, sometimes In special rooms, sometimes stereotypically "padded" (though in real life I've only ever seen thick carpet being used, not whatever exists in those movies).

Really think about what it would do to you to be tied down in an empty room, no clocks, no indicator of time passing aside from the steps you hear coming down the hallway sometimes. Are they having lunch? Are they having dinner? no humans around you majority of the time, the nurses just checking on you through a window that you often cant see them through. They might be painted pink, or purple, etc, meant to "calm" you. It doesnt. It makes you lose your mind. You cant even fucking scratch your nose. There is nothing to fill the time. No reading. No listening to music. No connection to anyone who might help you. You can scream for hours, but you often quickly learn that the more you scream the longer they will keep you there like this. The most human reaction to this treatment is seen as proof of your insanity and as a need to prolong this treatment.

that it is often used to break you into compliance with whatever other fucked up shit they want to force on you. You dont want to take your meds? Well we cant legally force them down your throat (at least in some places I guess) but we CAN tie you down for a shit ton of time and the only way we will let you go is if you "consent" to taking your meds.

Your OC, your fucking blorbos, whatever, laying in a padded room tied up might be funny to you, isnt it so hilarious that they're (treated like) "one of those crazies". Look at this funny picture hihi. Sitcoms use this shit too. Psych ward, padded room, restraints, cue the laugh track.

asan wrote a good plain language guide on how to submit a comment if you are not sure what to do!

As the title says, these are support and evacuation fundraisers from my main list that are currently over halfway to their goals. Please support these fundraisers by donating and sharing them so that they may complete their goals as quickly as possible and secure safety and/or evacuate should the Rafah crossing open again soon.

Check the original post for daily funding updates and additions when they come!

Last Update: 05/14/2024

Deyaa Akram Al-Aldini and family (€15,351/€30,000 goal)

Deyaa reached the initial evacuation fee for his family and they have extended the goal to pay to support themselves after they evacuate.

Said Tanani and family (€33,377/€50,000 goal)

Donia Tanani and family (€72,218/€100,000 goal)

Mohammed Shamia and family ($23,678/$35,000 goal)

The Child Mohammed and family (€20,069/€25,000 goal)

Hamdi Hejazi and family ($21,197/$25,000 goal)

Heba and family (€52,778/€60,000 goal)

Amal Abu Shammala's family (€40,948/€47,000 goal)

Mohammad Dahdooh and family (£36,798/£45,000 goal)

Amro Bakr & kids Bakir and Tala (€10,462/€15,000 goal)

Firas Salem and family (€13,645/€20,000 goal)

Roqaya Al-Hayek and Mohammad Jamal Al-Hayek (€14,698/€25,000 goal)

My husband, Muhammad, works as a journalist. He suffered a head injury while covering the events of the war on Gaza, which could have killed him