I just thought this was hilarious
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@fizzyshizzy
I just thought this was hilarious

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the great gatsby
nick: oh yeah my dad once told me not to judge people so thats why i never judge anyone without getting to know what their life is like first
...
nick: anyway so yesterday i met this douche canoe called tom buchanan and hes such a huge dickass
Nick Carraway is a background character to his own life
Bruh heās sitting with popcorn watching drama unfold leave him alone
Tbh air sun/moon being the least to trust others makes sense. Cause they keep thinking do you like me for what I provide to you from laughter and happiness or do you love me for me completely?. Thatās why they never give in to people 100%, cause part of them is always afraid that the people around them are just with them for certain parts but not for all of them. Which also explains why air signs feel deeply alone even when surrounded by people.
reblog to get a perfect 1600 on your SATs

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Libra sun - Gemini moon - Aquarius rising
@aesthetic-emotion
skinned goose from star tours queue who is still in love with one of his goose brethren from when they were all together in america sings and misses him very much moodboard
today is the only day you can reblog this ever
// gemini moon moodboard aesthetics
the signs as bad analogies
source: The Washington Post contests in 1995Ā and 1999; if youāve seen those lists ofĀ ābad analogies from student papersā then a) this is where a lot of them actually came fromĀ b) a lot are kind of great?
ARIES:Ā āYou know how in āRockyā he prepares for the fight by punching sides of raw beef? Well, yesterday it was as cold as that meat locker he was in.ā (Alan S. Jarvis, Fredericksburg) TAURUS:Ā āHer artistic sense was exquisitely refined, like someone who can tell butter from I Canāt Believe Itās Not Butter.ā (Barbara Collier, Garrett Park) GEMINI:Ā āThe painting was very Escher-like, as if Escher had painted an exact copy of an Escher painting.ā (Joseph Romm, Washington) CANCER:Ā āHis thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.ā (Chuck Smith, Woodbridge) LEO:Ā āThe baseball player stepped out of the box and spit like a fountain statue of a Greek god that scratches itself a lot and spits brown, rusty tobacco water and refuses to sign autographs for all the little Greek kids unless they pay him lots of drachmas.ā (Ken Krattenmaker, Landover Hills) VIRGO: āThe sunset displayed rich, spectacular hues like a .jpeg file at 10 percent cyan, 10 percent magenta, 60 percent yellow and 10 percent black.ā (Jennifer Hart, Arlington) LIBRA: āHer date was pleasant enough, but she knew that if her life was a movie this guy would be buried in the credits as something like āSecond Tall Man.āā (Russell Beland, Springfield) SCORPIO: āHer lips were red and full, like tubes of blood drawn by an inattentive phlebotomist.āĀ (Greg Dobbins, Arlington) SAGITTARIUS:Ā āOutside the little snow-covered cabin, a large pile of firewood was stacked like Pamela Anderson.ā (Meg Sullivan, Potomac) CAPRICORN:Ā āThe revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wifeās infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM.ā (Paul J. Kocak, Syracuse) AQUARIUS:Ā āIt came down the stairs looking very much like something no one had ever seen before.ā (Marian Carlsson, Lexington, Va.) PISCES: āJohn and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.ā (Russell Beland, Springfield)

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Apparently 87% of people have broken 2 or more bones in their life? Iāve never broken a single one. Reblog if youāre a member of the never broken a bone club :^)
Monkey bar users donāt interact
to-do list
Noir, calliing ham on the phone: hello?
Ham: hey, what up?
Noir: I need your help, can you come here?
Ham: uh, I canāt. Iām buying cloths.
Noir: all right, well hurry up and get over here.
Ham: I canāt find themā¦
Noir: what do you mean you canāt find them?
Ham: I canāt find them, thereās only soup.
Noir: what do you mean thereās only soup?
Ham: it means thereās only soup!
Noir: well then get out of the soup aisle!
Ham: ALRIGHT! You donāt have to shout at me!!! *walks to the next aisle*
Ham: thereās more soup!
Noir: what do you mean thereās more soup?!
Ham: thereās just more soup!
Noir: go into the next aisle!
Ham: *goes to the next aisle* Thereās just more soup!!
Noir: where are you right now?!?!
Ham: IM AT SOUP!
Noir: WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOUāRE AT SOUP?!
Ham: IM AT THE SOUP STORE!!!
noir: WHY ARE YOU BUYING CLOTHES AT THE SOUP STORE?!?!?!
Ham: FUCK YOU!!!!!
Hot hot hot hot chocolate
HEY WE GOT IT
Spooktober in VRChat
Content Warning: Extremely Spooky
To the hero professors
So, Iām taking U.S. History one and two over the summer at my community college, and the professor is this older white man. Naturally, this is history, and my first assumption walking in to the class is that Iām gonna be stuck listening to this guy drone on for two months of boredom. Great.
Within the first five minutes I knew I was wrong. So, so wrong.
āI donāt want you to be stuck memorizing dates,ā he says. āI want you to know the story, the people, the conditions and reactions so that maybe we can all learn from past mistakes.ā I was baffled. A history class that doesnāt require you to be able to rattle off dates? Not only that, thereās no homework and we donāt have to read the text book. The only things that are going to be on the test are things that come straight out of his mouth during class. He introduces himself, and proceeds to go around the room and greets every person one at a time. He will do this every day for the rest of the summer one and two semesters.
Then the lecture begins. I say lecture, but it feels more like story time in kindergarten. He begins to speak with such prose and personality that I forget this is a college course. Heās taken something that has so much potential to be mundane and turned it in to a book that I canāt put down. You bibliophiles know what Iām talking about. And then this glorious fucker ends the class in a mid-sentence cliffhanger.
Every class he carries on this way. It feels as if Iām there. Signing the Declaration, fighting against brothers in the Civil War, listening to FDRās fireside chats, storming the beaches of Normandy⦠And he remains unbiased. He wants to make sure we see thereās two sides to every story; understand the conditions that lead to those reactions.
We took a test today, a week from our final exam. He goes around the room in his usual affable fashion, but rather than just ask how weāre doing, today he asks if thereās anything he can do for us. Most folks like myself say something along the lines of nothing, or Iām good. This girl next to me jokingly says, āYou can buy me a coffee.ā
āHow much is it?ā He asks.
āAbout five dollars.ā She answers.
And without hesitation, this professor, this wonderful man with a love of teaching, and a love of his students, pulls out a fucking twenty dollar bill, hands it to her and just says āGo get your coffee, and bring me the change.ā Then continues on his way like itās nothing.
And it may be nothing. Maybe Iām blowing something small out of proportion. But in a world where it feels as if every class is just dragging you along in the gravel behind it, and the professors seem to just be going through the motions; to see someone actually do something kind and ask nothing in return is so refreshing and uplifting.
I donāt know. Maybe this is just a boring shit post, but I really needed to share my appreciation for this hero of a teacher. A teacher who after over 30 years of teaching is still happy with what he does.
tl;dr: Some teachers leave a long lasting impact on your life; change the way you think, the way you see the world. Appreciate them for what they are. The unsung heroes of a failing education system.

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Tintin remembers what comes after 15.
FUCKING HELL ITāS BACK FROM LAST YEAR
This literally gets reblogged every 15th of the month. Itās almost two years old. Itās beautiful.
listen up yaāll this post is 6 years old now and youāre still reblogging it. every month. once a month, my notifications blow up for this one video, but only until the 16th. then the notes on this vid completely stop. itās so eerily spot on and impressive how you just all collectively know what to do. if Iām not online, people irl still remind me that itās the 15th. thank you for six surreal years of me wondering if I completely fucking lost it. hereās to the 15th
are you a hair up or hair down kinda person? horror movie or a rom-com? do you like coffee or tea? are you moon or sun? park or coffee shop? romantic love or platonic love?