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@fivehourhowl

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i feel a profound sadness within me...... sex horror sex bat sex horror sex vampire sex bat horror vampire sex
General rules to live by:
You gotta be tough if you're gonna be stupid. You can do stupid shit all you want but you're not going to avoid suffering consequences.
If you can't be tough, you gotta be nice. People can forgive a lot of stupidity if you're polite about it and pleasant to be around.
You can't tell whether you're stupid or not. There is literally no way to know in advance, for absolute certainty, whether the thing you're just about to do is genius or stupid before it either splendidly succeeds or blows up in your face.
kind of a milf.
none needed brother

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the biggest spider in north america just sent you a friend request on steam
this girl ate only purple go-gurt for 10 years of her life and this is what happened.
Slurp on my âgurt.
Cause you know its purp.
Put me in the dirt.
Put me in a shirt.
miffy in blue pngs ! credit not necessary for pngs! like or reblog to use, don't repost as your own please.
"dog residue" post means so much to my ocd

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Hamlet as a D&D paladin.
Keep reading
some gems of insight from the reblogs (@aspiring-protagonistâ and @moderndayathenaâ):
This is one of the things about tumblr that I absolutely adore; I have a Masters degree in English lit, which included Shakespeare, Iâve been reading and studying Shakespeareâs plays for ::mumble:: years, and this just dumped me right on my ass with the sheer obvious that I missed because I was so stuck looking at other parts of the play.
As is revealed by two lines from Claudius right at the end of this scene, he only SEEMS to be praying. Hamletâs desire for revenge, or at least tit-for-tat justice since his father was murdered unshriven and Claudius should die the same way, was a lost opportunity from which the rest of the tragedy develops.
I can imagine the audience at the Globe going âOOHH NOOO! WHY DIDNâT YOU JUST DOOO IT?â (or the Elizabethan-Jacobean equivalent.)
Here, edited a bit for length, is Claudiusâs soliloquy, Hamletâs full speech and Claudiusâs coda:
Claudius: O, my offence is rank, it smells to heaven; It hath the primal eldest curse uponât, A brotherâs murder! Pray can I not, Though inclination be as sharp as willâŚ
⌠But, O, what form of prayer Can serve my turn? âForgive me my foul murderâ? That cannot be; since I am still possessed Of those effects for which I did the murder - My crown, mine own ambition, and my queen. May one be pardoned and retain the offence?
⌠Bow, stubborn knees; and heart with strings of steel, Be soft as sinews of the new-born babe! All may be well.
(Claudius kneels. Hamlet enters unnoticed.)
Hamlet: Now might I do it pat, now he is praying; And now Iâll do it. And so he goes to heaven, And so am I revenged. That would be scanned. A villain kills my father; and for that, I, his sole son, do this same villain send To heaven. Why, this is hire and salary, not revenge! He took my father grossly, full of bread, With all his crimes broad blown, as flush as May; And how his audit stands, who knows save heaven? But in our circumstance and course of thought, âTis heavy with him; and am I then revenged, To take him in the purging of his soul, When he is fit and seasoned for his passage? No. Up, sword, and know thou a more horrid hent. When he is drunk asleep; or in his rage; Or in the incestuous pleasure of his bed; At gaming, swearing, or about some act That has no relish of salvation in it - Then trip him, that his heels may kick at heaven, And that his soul may be as damned and black As hell, whereto it goes. My mother stays. This physic but prolongs thy sickly days.
(Hamlet exits. Claudius rises.)
Claudius: My words fly up, my thoughts remain below. Words without thoughts never to heaven go.
(Claudius exits. End of Act 3, scene iii.)
The prayers werenât taking shape; he wasnât in any proper state for Heaven and if Hamlet had taken him out right there and then, justice would have been served. With Claudius dead, Hamlet could stop pretending insanity, escape the regicide charge with a confession from his mother, become King of Denmark, marry Ophelia and live sort-of-happily ever after.
But he didnât, so Polonius, Rosencrantz, Guildenstern, Ophelia, Laertes, Gertrude, Claudius at last and finally Hamlet himself all die for it.
That Globe audience must have been having FITS.
getting emotional over this meme
The thyroid is the butterfly-shaped organ in my throat that flaps its wings and causes a tornado of mental/physical ailments

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men got a taste of women's beauty standards and immediately started bashing their facial bones with hammers