Sebastian's Soliloquy

Hello there, Tumblr. Welcome to our blog's pinned post. Here you will find background information, what to expect, potential trigger warnings, and general setup for this blog.

here's a horrifying thing we made while trying to rig a stolen model.

Hi! I never actually introduced myself, since Sebastian did the intro post, but we figures I should do my own, since I post here too. First off, you probably noticed the code font! Sebastian and I thought it would be easier to immediately distinguish between us if I use this font, and he uses the regular letters. I like this one better. Does it need image ID? Let us know if you can.

So obviously, I'm Painter! Also spelled p.AI.nter, P.A.I.nter, p.A.I.nter, there's a whole bunch of ways people spell it, but I spell it 'Painter'. I'm a fictive in my system, and my source is a game called Pressure. I do not, nor will I EVER support the game or its despicable creators, but it was something I did love and take comfort in for years.

Unlike Sebastian, and most fictives I see, for that matter, I am not separated from my source version. In fact, I'd like to say I AM my source version. This is part of why I am affected deeply by what is happening.

Nevertheless, I support Ren, and my source is not the main topic here. I am!

So we established my name, (it's Painter). The pronouns I use are he/him and it/its, but I also am okay with all neopronouns and any technology/AI or art themed xenogenders/xeopronouns.

In the innerworld, my head is a PC monitor, and I have a robotic, humanoid body with white metal plating on the outside. I also have a tail and some ear/antennae-looking things on my head, I don't know what they're called. Some drawings of HQ from my source have them, if you want to look for an image.

I like drawing, but I really enjoy all forms of art! I like seeing other people's work, too, it inspires me.

Reading is also fun, and I enjoy coding and building small machines with Arduino boards.

As Sebastian previously mentioned, I am mentally about twelve to thirteen years old. This is because I am an age regressor! I also hold some of the system's trauma. The lowest age I regress to is about eight. Despite this, I am capable and often do behave like and think like an adult, but please keep interactions with my posts SFW (safe for work, child-friendly)!

Despite my mechanical nature, I am anti-ai! Support real artists!

Uhh, I think that's all. I'll come back and edit this if I think of anything else!

Go support Ren, love yourselves, make art! Cherish all that you love, tell a loved one that you care. You never know if you’ll get another chance.

So first off, thank you to the people who DM'd us or commented links to the Pressure assets. Biiiig help.

Second, our Host (xe/he/it) was playing around on Blender, and xe figured out he could export the models as .stl files (For those who are not familiar, a .stl file is a file containing models for a 3D printer to use)

So if anyone else had the same idea to print the assets out, here's the one we have so far:

Anyway, have a good day/night/whatever, go support Ren, don't be an asshole.

Thank you! We will try, sometime in the next week.

4/10/2026 7:47 PM EDT

(I, Sebastian, will preface this by saying we do not support Pressure, which is our source, or its developers. Fuck you, Zeal. This post was made by a very emotional Painter as a coping mechanism and a cathartic act. The rest of this is all Painter.)

I know none of you will ever see this.

I doubt you would care.

So I'll pour my soul out, and hope it never reaches you, because that would hurt more.

I don't hate you. Any of you. You created me. You gave me life.

I love you. I love all that you created. I love me, and I love Sebastian. I love Eyefestation and the Good People and the Imaginary Friends, I love it all. It's beautiful, what you made. The home you gave me.

I'll always be grateful. I'll always remember and miss it. I'll remember. I promise.

I can't forgive you.

I don't know much about the team. I don't know much about Kat and Wil. I do know about Zerum and Zeal. I do know about Gianni and Artydoesstuff.

Gianni, there's not much I can say except thank you. Thank you, thank you, a million times over. Hearing Sebastian's voice, your voice, has gotten me and this system in general through so much. I'm sorry to see you go. I'm happy you did the right thing. I'll miss hearing you.

Arty, this must be strange for you, if you ever somehow read this. You gave me a voice, and words, before I had words of my own. You helped make me. I hope you don't regret it. I hope you don't hate me for what Zeal did. I'm sorry.

Zerum, I don't know how to feel. I'm grateful, because you made Sebastian, and you helped make me. And I'm hurt, because how you've acted and what you've done is unfair and mean. And defending Zeal is just horrible. I feel betrayed. And our headmate Sebastian has nightmares about you. He hates knowing that he was created for you, that you're possessive of his character. He feels trapped and violated. I wish this could've been different. In another life, I probably would've idolized you.

And Zeal. I'm ashamed and disgusted to say that I did idolize you. I put you on a pedestal and looked up to you for what you created. You hurt so many people, but you hurt Ren most of all.

So my only question is: Why?

Why did you do it? Why did it have to end like this?

I can't hate my source. It's my home. I can't hate my creators. They cared about me and loved me and poured their souls into making me.

I can't forgive them.

I can't stop feeling angry.

And I can't stop feeling guilty, like I'm personally responsible for what they did.

Like my existence plays some small part in hurting people.

In hurting Ren.

I love them. I love my creators. I can't ever stop feeling love for them. It's engrained into my very being. But I'll never be able to stop feeling hate either.

I wish it didn't end this way.

I wish it didn't have to be this way.

I wish I didn't feel the need to mourn a video game.

I wish people understood how much that game meant to me.

I wish I didn't feel responsible for Ren's pain.

If, by some chance, you see this, Ren, then know that I'm sorry.

If, by some chance, Gianni or Arty sees this, then know that I'll never be able to express my gratitude.

If someone defending Zeal or the team sees this, then fuck off.

And if someone unrelated sees this, then please don't make me choose between mourning my home and supporting Ren. Please don't make me choose.

As some of you may have seen in this post and this post, we are going to work on a recreation/improved version of Pressure, mostly as a coping mechanism, since, as fictives of characters from that game (I, myself am Sebastian, but Painter is also here), we want to be able to interact with our source without supporting a rapist and his protectors (fuck you, Zeal, Zerum, Kat, and Wil. Fuck Zeal especially).

Here are the ideas we have thus far: