BongoFury

the number 1 rule of fanfic is have fun and be yourself. the number 2 rule is the average healthy adult male can lose roughly 2 liters of blood before dying.

Bloopers are movie aftercare and it’s fucked up that we got rid of them

men really be like “well this woman has studied this subject her whole life, and i am a man, so we have equal knowledge on this”

it’s ok you could have just said “i hate men”

okay, i hate men

not the kind of gay ship I’m used to seeing on tumblr but cool

ship georg is an outlier but SHOULD be counted

ive invented (note: dubious claim) something i call the bear diet which is mostly fruits and vegetables with fish as the main protein source and something like once a month you eat a few hyperprocessed foods of your liking because that is when you, the bear, raid a dumpster in the suburbs

after the hyperprocessed foods, do you take tranquilizers to simulate getting captured by animal control and returned to the wild?

i would settle for melatonin gummies but well. knock yourself out

this is me and my wife's regular diet, and one time we were talking about it and how much we love healthy fats (ie salmon) in our diet and were just chanting FAT! FAT! FAT! FAT! and our fat friend who we love VERY much and also is kinda sensitive walked by and was like "are you chanting about me!?! 😭" and we were immediately like NOOOOOOOO NEVER anyway there's a lesson in here somewhere but god knows i don't know what it is besides berries and salmon is amazing

i support women's wrongs

“It’s photoshopped” honestly in the age of AI that has a homey sort of nostalgia to it. Remember when people used to put effort into faking things?

photoshop fakers are like the villain with moral standards now

mater has given dobby a gun

I FUCKING SPELLED MASTER WRONG

Best comment I just saw "Helen of Troy was perfectly cast, because all these men are fighting about her."

The people who insist AI is smarter than a human are doing their fucking damnedest to manifest that

"AI is smarter than a human!" -> AI is smarter than YOU. YOU feel it is smarter because YOU lack the free-thinking needed to recognize its errors and your own dependency

reblogged for the last comment

The last of the classically trained tumblrinas

queer people on this site really make me feel like a confused straight guy at pride. the discourse here could kill a man

"why polyamorous people aren't valid" "mspec lesbians AREN'T okay actually" "aroallos are freaks" "he/him dni. cis men dni" "this post is for non-men only" yessss and the one with long hair goes in the girl box, then the one with short hair goes in the boy box!!

maybe I'm just a boring he/him white guy but inventing about 7 trillion terms to define "man" and "woman" so you can reinforce gender essentialism isn't very "love is love" of you. maybe i just don't have a sexuality but picking and choosing what sexualities are normal and which ones are "weird and predatory" sounds like we're all a bunch of republicans on fox news. if you attend your local pride parade and look REAAALLLYYY closely, you'll notice you can't actually tell if someone's gay or not from their appearance, and there's no way to know if they're "invading queer spaces". maybe it's just me, but when i attended my local gaybar last night for the drag show, they didn't ask for my gay-card with a peer reviewed diagnosis of faggot stamped on it. they just let me in the building. i live a life of bliss and luxury in not caring about any queer discourse ever, and just going "WHATEVER MAKES YOU HAPPY :-)" while booting up the latest cod game. and it seems much more fun than whatever the fuck you people are on about

Reblog and Signal Boost for US followers.

I WANT BIGGER BOOBS AND A BIGGER DICK AND A STRONGER TRAIN OF THOUGHT AND A LESS CHAOTIC STOMACH AND WIDER HIPS AND PARENTS WHO GENDER ME CORRECTLY.