a rewinding dream

As is almost always the case when he’s not around, you’ve been up for the whole night. Much to his upset, there’s something about the absence of Jay’s presence that has an adverse effect on your sleeping pattern. 

In the event that you have to sleep apart, most nights Jay finds himself calling you to chat until you get tired, your parts of the conversation trailing off into little hums here and there until you’re out (though he continues to speak as if he doesn’t notice the change).

He had come with you to your parents house for the weekend, where the two of you find that things are just as they were before you moved out, still not allowed to sleep in the same bed. 

Jay had bought you a colouring book for nights like this, the efforts of staying in the lines both calming and exhausting. Forgetting the consequences of a night with no Jay, you'd left the book at your shared apartment. Big mistake.

The alarm clock on your nightstand tells you it’s nearing 6am and you’re certain you’ve counted all the sheep in existence. Tossing and turning, trying as hard as you can, sleep doesn’t seem to find you. You sigh, deciding to think instead about what you and Jay might get up to when you get back home. 

Grocery shopping, even though you’re not short on anything in particular. There’s something in the hectic nature of the supermarket that you and Jay both find a comfort in, enjoying the time you spend together hand in hand, making up stories for the other shoppers based on the items in the carts they push past with. 

Face masks, wine, a movie. A shared bubble bath and some much neede— The sound of what you think might be the softest knock you’ve ever heard pulls you from your thoughts. A knock so soft you’re not even sure it happe— Another knock. 

Followed by another, slightly louder now. 

Though you don't need to, you stretch as you sit up in bed, swinging your feet over the end and getting out. Despite how softly you step across the floor, it creaks a tiny bit as you make your way to the door. 

Jay’s tall frame greets you when you open it, a small smile on his face at the sight of you, hands resting on your waist. "Hey, pretty." He whispers, kissing your forehead.

"What are you doing up?" You ask softly, pulling him into the room.

"I had a feeling you might be." 

Jay shuts the door behind him as quietly as he can and watches as you walk over to the bed, laying down under the covers. He doesn’t even realise he’s staring until you say, “Lay with me.” Your words are dripping with fatigue and he feels his heart ache as you pat the spot next to you. 

He groans, head falling back as he points out that, you know we’re not allowed to share the bed. His sadness at the fact that you struggle without him and his desire not to disrespect your parent’s rules are at odds with one another in his mind, watching the way you sleepily roll your eyes at him. 

"No.” A shake of your head. ”We’re not allowed to sleep in the same bed." Your words barely audible through the yawn you let out. 

The smile on his face and the tiny laugh he lets out through his nose make you so giddy you have to look away from him, missing the love in his eyes as he walks towards you. 

The bed dips a little to your right as Jay climbs in next to you, leaving a soft kiss on your temple. “You think you can sleep if I stay for a bit?” He asks, letting his arm wrap lazily around your shoulders as you rest your head on his chest. 

It’s obvious in the way you barely manage to nod your head that you’re close to drifting off already and the room falls into silence as you lay together, Jay drawing patterns on your arm. 

 “I missed you.” You mumble. 

"Tonight?"

"Mm.” You confirm. “I hate when you're not here."

"Please, Sunghoon, I want to go outside." You pout, grabbing his hands and kissing his knuckles. "Just for a bit, Hoonie, I'm all better no—achoo!" You drawl, cutting yourself off with a sneeze. 

‘Hoonie’ fights the smile that threatens to make an appearance as you jut out your bottom lip while looking up at him (and he can’t decide if he wants to smile because you look adorable or because you look ridiculous.. he thinks it’s both). 

"It's far too cold for that." As much as he wants to go out, and knows just how much you want to as well, you’re still getting over a cold - making this trip out in the chill of December the last thing you need right now. 

Up on your tippy toes you try to kiss him, whining as he dips his head away from you. "Don't be disgusting, YN." He watches as your lips push into a pout, instantly feeling bad and giving you kisses all over your face, smiling against your lips. "So, night in?" His brows raise with hope as he presses a final kiss on your forehead. 

You frown, knitting your brows at him as you wrap your arms around him. "We'll wear jackets." A rebuttal. And Sunghoon almost can’t believe how stubborn you still are, despite how sick you’ve been all week. 

"It looks like you're already wearing mine." He states, laughing as you jump at the feeling of his hands pinching your sides. He doesn’t mind at all, you look so cute in it as it hangs from your frame: a look that he would describe as the jacket wearing you. 

"Hoon, please." You beg once more, running your fingers through the silver locks at the nape of his neck, as you often do when trying to convince him of something. 

With a dramatic sigh, Sunghoon rolls his eyes at you before ducking down for a kiss, his lips pressed against yours as he mumbles. "Anything for you." 

The cycle path just by your apartment building served as the set for your winter date. With the sound of bikes zipping by and people laughing and talking. Walking dogs. Pushing strollers. All playing a part in the soundtrack of your time spent together, sitting under a tall tree, your head on his shoulder and his arm around you. 

"We should have brought GaGa." You mumble to him, loving the feeling of his fingers playing with the bits of hair sticking out from under your hat. His hat. And though your eyes are closed you know he’s rolling his eyes at the nickname. 

His little giggle sounds like heaven until he punches you lightly in the stomach, and he laughs harder at the sight of your upper body jerking in response. "Her name is Gaeul."

"But I like GaGa." You pout, making a show out of rubbing the spot he had punched. 

"And I like you."

Your brows raise as if you don't already know. "Oh really?" 

He hums in response, tracing circles on your knee with a gloved hand, his other hand, bare, is tucked away in his jacket pocket. 

Despite promising him you had everything you needed to leave the house, you’d forgotten your gloves, and while Sunghoon had offered (forced) his own, you said you’d only accept if he wore one. Leaving each of you with a gloved hand and a bare one. 

"And if I was to say that I loved you?"

"I'd say it back." 

You wear a toothy grin at this. "I love you, Hoon." You giggle, and immediately feel warm inside just saying it out loud. 

"It back." Sunghoon finds himself far too funny for his own good but he’s so cute that you don’t really mind. 

A few minutes pass by before a cold hand presses itself to your cheek. Fuzzy knit beanie tickly on his forehead. Noses bumping. Lips touching. 

You definitely don't mind when he mumbles I love you, against your lips.

And there’s no containing the grins on your faces as they pull away from one another, you nestling your head back into his neck, leaving soft kisses on the same spot.

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