Sweetly Southern

Maladaptive belief:  If I don’t do as well as others, I’m a failure. More functional belief: If I don’t do as well as others, I’m not a failure, just human.

Maladaptive belief:  If I ask for help, it’s a sign of weakness. More functional belief: If I ask for help when I need it, I’m showing good problem-solving abilities (which is a sign of strength).

Maladaptive belief:  If I fail at work/school, I’m a failure as a person. More functional belief: If I fail at work/school, it’s not a reflection of my whole self. (My whole self includes how I am as a friend, daughter, sister, relative, citizen, and community member, and my qualities of kindness, sensitivity to others, helpfulness, etc.) Also, failure is not a permanent condition.

Maladaptive belief:  I should be able to excel at everything I try. More functional belief: I shouldn’t be able to excel at something unless I am gifted in that area (and am willing and able to devote considerable time and effort toward it at the expense of other things.

Maladaptive belief:  I should always work hard and do my best. More functional belief: I should put in a reasonable amount of effort much of the time.

Maladaptive belief:  If I don’t live up to my potential, I have failed. More functional belief: If I do less than my best, I have succeeded perhaps 70%, 80%, or 90%; not 0%.