Fireheart's Blog

these ones

23,000 people are reblogging a hit list

Good.

favorite thing: musicals with references to other musicals

I want to punch whoever came up with the phrase “the customer is always right” because the customer is wrong, like really fucking wrong, 97% of the time.

“I want the tacos with the hard shells” Me:“ ma'am we don’t serve hard shell tacos. We have a soft flour tortilla or soft corn tortilla” “Oh. Then I want the corn. Those are the hard shell ones right?” Me:“no, ma'am, we don’t serve hard shell tacos. We have flour or corn tortillas” “Flour or corn? So…which ones are the hard ones?” -.-.-.- “Hey the lettuce from the salad bar doesn’t taste right.” “Uh sir we don’t have a salad bar. That’s the decorative kale for our salsa bar. It’s not meant to be eaten” “Well if it’s not meant to be eaten why are you serving it?!” “Sir, it’s decorative. We aren’t serving it.” -.-.-.- “What’s this extra charge on my receipt? Why are you charging me extra? I demand to talk to a manager!!” “Sir that’s the tax, it’s 5% in our state.” “No you’re trying to steal from me, I’ll have you fired!” “Sir, it says right there that it’s the tax.” -.-.-.-

Good god the list could go on forever

Working in Retail in under 3 minutes

i had to watch this like 5 times because of no captions but lmao if someone makes a transcript for this it would be bomb

transcript: “So we have these Santas at work, right, okay? We have black and we have white Santas. And they’re like creepy, five-foot tall, lifelike animatronic… like, Santas that hold plates of cookies and milk, and they kinda look like they could wake up and come to life and murder you in your sleep– and they don’t include batteries, but we have these Santas. Like nothing screams ‘festive holiday cheer’ like a big, hulking Santa. Um. Nothin’ will jingle your jangles more. So, um, this woman comes in and she’s like, “Do you have these?” and I’m like, “Oh my god, yeah!” So a couple weeks ago we sold out of our white Santas, and we are down to like, three black Santas. And so, I take her to the aisle, I show her the Santas, and the first thing out of her mouth is, “I’m not racist, but…” and I’m like, well, I can’t– I’m not in the position to decide if you are or not, but if like– if I could use context clues and infer, uh, I would say maybe that you might be. And three, we’re talking about Santa. Like– (stuttering) did we switch subjects? And so, um, I’m in like, I– the next thing that pops out of her mouth is like, “This is not right.” and I’m like, okay, I’m sorry, but this is what the picture was. And she’s like, “No. Santa is white.” And I’m like, oh no, okay. Okay. So I’m in– I’m about to tell her, I’m like, mid-sentence, like, “I’m sorry, do you want me to go call another store, do you need me to, like, write you a raincheck just in case we we get any more.” And she’s like, “This is wrong, I want them taken down.” She interrupts me, says that, and I’m like, (pause). I like, look around, and I’m like, is she talking to me? Is this, like, my own, like, personal hell? But like, of course it is. So, um, I’m like, “I can’t take these Santas down.” And she’s like, “Why not?!” And I’m like, “You either have to buy them, or take them down yourself.” And that was like, the stupidest thing I could have ever said, because– (sighs) she takes this bag, with like, Jesus’s face, like, slammed right in the middle as a design– it’s big– she takes it off her shoulder, and starts beating these black Santas! She starts beating these Santas down, they were like, falling down… and I’m like, oh my god! What– what is happening? So like, I step in the middle of her and these Santas and I’m like, “Ma’am, ma’am, you need to leave, you need to stop, or I’m going to have to call someone.” So she like, stops, and she’s like, beet red, and like, huffin’ and puffin’, and she like, looks at me and I can tell she’s just trying to get like, a one-liner in, and she’s like, “The Santa I know is white.” And then she walks away. And I’m like, well– I’m processing what’s happening, while also thinking, like, the Santa you know? Santa’s not real. So unless you’re using an ouija board to contact good old Kris Kringle, um, from like, B.C. or whenever, I’m like, that’s pretty impressive, but how ya doin’ that. And, um, I– the last thought that ran through my mind is that, I’m like, I would hate to be in the room with her when she finds out that Jesus is not white.”

@angelofthelort @cultofwerewolves @endhawkeyeerasure @the-bae-under-the-mountain HAVE YALL SEEN THIS OH MY GOD