୨ FIREDREAMT ﹕ DON'T FIGHT IN THE NORTH OR THE SOUTH. FIGHT EVERY BATTLE, EVERYWHERE, ALWAYS IN YOUR MIND. EVERYONE IS YOUR ENEMY, EVERYONE IS YOUR FRIEND. EVERY POSSIBLE SERIES OF EVENTS IS HAPPENING ALL AT ONCE. LIVE THAT WAY, AND NOTHING WILL SURPRISE YOU. EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS WILL BE SOMETHING THAT YOU'VE SEEN BEFORE ( ... ) FOR 103AC.
⁰⁰. PRINCESS DELFINA TARGARYEN† ( autumn 103ac )
⁰¹. LIEGE GWYNETH CORBRAY NÉE MANDERLY, SPOUSE OF HEART'S HOME, THIRTY-TWO. YAYA URASSAYA.
⁰². LORD MORDHRED TULLY, SECOND-BORN CHILD OF RIVERRUN. FIFTY. ARJUN RAMPAL.
⁰³. TALIESIN WATERS, BASTARD OF HOUSE WESTERLING OF THE CRAG, THIRTY. REGÉ-JEAN PAGE.
⁰⁴.
credits.
icon: theluzvre .
header: the garden of paracelsus, leona carrington ( 1957 ) .
divider: starrliqhtt .
intro psd: hesperides .
yaya urassaya gifs: lerabova ; soblum ; carolcastros .
arjun rampal gifs: rampldgifs .
rege jean page gifs: lerabova .
lee soohyuk gifs: malboraslihangifs ; villagifs ; axolotlsdirectory .
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erik had barely healed since the news of dorne but he was ready for the challenge and hoped there would be more opportunity for the iron islands to flourish. he had no clue what would await him or his family there but he knew that it could not be worse than the events that occurred in kings landing.
he offered gwyneth a smile. "i appreciate your honesty, liege corbray. i do hope perhaps in the near future, we can forge forward ... on better terms." he admitted. their former house, manderly, was one of the northern houses that erik admired deeply. he frequented there many times and the house was always gracious. erik nodded at them in agreement. "i do suppose the festivities might be more grand, it's been a long time since i've been in dorne." he admitted to them. "perhaps they will meet us all with stern looks and promises to keep before we are able to enter dorne. after what happened here, i do suppose they might be hesitant to allow certain individuals into their lands." he suggested. "i know the lannister spoke with lady martell but who knows what truth they speak, she is the mistress of whispers after all." he commented.
the offer somewhat surprises them. perhaps the friendship withstood further bounds than gwyn themself realised. their eyes widen, although they are quick to nod and disguise the very small smile. “ i do hope so as well. my ear will always be open to listening to what you're thinking. ” and the stomach fluttering alerts that this cusp could be upon them, the pressure of a decision and what it could mean. for now, they would take it at face-value, and anticipate better things in dorne despite the claims of others around them. “ i would be hesitant as well to welcome certain individuals to heart's home — their true hearts have been revealed and it's not kind to their reputation. ” for the lord reaper to admit this to them, ensures that the liege will admit in kind their own turmoil, and their lips thin at the mention of the master of whispers. they are close to one lannister alone, and that is not enough to justify any secretive happenings behind the scenes. “ it intrigues me how a dragon-tamer was found so far. i suppose it's possible, ” they muse. “ but if it's a ruse … we've bought into it. hopefully they don't wine and dine us to our demise. ” they will not outright be too fearful, but it grips them regardless. they will be saying their prayers to r'hllor before embarking upon the journey.
the laugh drew the corner of seora's mouth upward, slow and unmistakably pleased. she turned the coin once between her fingers before letting it disappear back into the pouch at her hip. "why, yes," she answered, her smile widening by each second. "it has a dreadful habit of biting off the hands of anyone caught cheating." she had almost forgotten how pleasant it was to trade barbs with someone willing to throw one back. "though," she continued after a beat, "i'm afraid the spell itself is a family secret." mock regret colored her voice far more convincingly than genuine sympathy ever could. "if i started handing it out to every gambler with an empty purse, we'd have half the realm sprouting extra heads by year's end. i do have standards, however questionable they may be."
taliesin has the indecency to give a violent shiver. “ how wretched the thought to lose a hand so easily. a formidable foe at any gambling table with a handsome grin to disarm them. ” the flirtation befalls the waters with the ease of breathing, second-nature to provide such outlooks. those guards weigh deep in their pockets, and the coinpurse perhaps is emptier than he would prefer, but compared to some, it had grown rather full. “ no? not even to i who ask with such sweetness? ” a hand presses over their heart, the same hand which might be lost to a terrible bite. at least this fate does not befall them. “ what of a gambler with half a filled coin purse who is dissatisfied with all the fucking realm as it is? ” it was rather enjoyable to exchange barbs. outside of here and there at their leisure, taliesin did not realise the void of the spar.
"i don't think you've forgotten how to say what you believe," she said, her voice softened by an understanding she rarely cared to name. softness, after all, had never suited seora. "perhaps you've simply become more selective about who deserves to hear it." the mention of dorne drew another small huff, more out of skepticism than amusement. if the gods truly had designs upon this gathering, they had made their displeasure known often enough already. "if some divine curse wished to stop us," she mused, folding her arms loosely across her chest, "I'd think dragons, poison, and political vultures would have sufficed." she shrugged one shoulder with effortless indifference. "i've found the world rarely concerns itself with what we expect of it." the smile that followed was small, crooked, and entirely untroubled. "i suppose we'll just have to wait and see."
mara shifted in her seat. she had been dreading this meeting and dreading asking the targaryen for what she truly wanted. although, she should make it known now, for at least then she did all she could. she crossed her hands over another as she let out a breath. she wanted to remain as calm as possible, since everything that occurred had been so abrupt and uncertain. this ... mara wanted to be planned, calculated and dealt with, even if she did not get what she wanted.
she offered the princess a smile and a nod at her comment, she did not wish to be the cause that this meeting did not go well, regardless of the outcome. she knew that what her house wanted was not what she wanted, that was a fact. although she had not mentioned this to any of her siblings yet. she was sure they would not enjoy hearing that her meeting with delfina had taken place in the middle of the evening, this close to their fathers passing. perhaps mara would leave this out.
"i would like a seat on the council. to support your bid, i mean..." she started. "i know my experience is ... lacking but i think of time, you will see that what i bring is valuable. my father was the master of laws, my mother the mistress of whispers. i have seen them in their bests and worsts. i have given my whole life to follow in their footsteps. i believe i can do it." she explained. "i would be remiss if i did not allow you to know my true intentions, regardless if they are going to work out for me." she continued.
"i know you may have others you promised these roles to..." mara commented and glanced down at her hands. "i just want house lannister to be seen as powerful again. not as it's been... tearing each other apart from the inside like a sickness." mara explained. "i want to prove that the lions are still worth something."
( we kinda hc'ed this but delfina would have promised either of her parents' roles as she saw herself fit as only hand of the king had been promised to amaya )
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soft warmth blooms. it has yet to stop. it --- it matters that mordhred believes it. that for all akira's failings in his youth, and all the failings to ren, that mordhred believes he is the parent he couldn't be decades ago. and if he dared dwell on why it mattered --- well. he's dropped enough surprises for one day.
and yet it was mordhred's turn. the other liege reaches for akira, and the ruling blackwood blinks in confusion. but he relinquishes both his hands, despite the pang in his chest as the favor slipped through his fingers. his hands held in mordhred's shaking ones, and akira squeezes in comfort. only then does he absorb the tully's words.
akira's breath catches. relief hovers like a kiss of cool rain. his own laugh mixes with mordhred's, though wet and heavy. and he cannot look at mordhred, he cannot --- oh, he is a fool. a blind, bloody fool.
he takes their clasped hands and brings them to his forehead. one breath, another. fear still grips tight, its claws digging deeper, but elation sprints through his whole body; the next laugh falls light and joyful.
"you're a bloody sap for wanting to fix this." akira finally looks back to mordhred, teasing smile plucking at lips. "but if --- if you are serious --- fuckin' hells, of course you are." akira shakes his head. "i will need to speak with ren. to the entire family. i cannot accept if they do not have the chance to voice their opinion."
akira squeezes their hands tighter, and affection bleeds. "but know this: i have imagined us. dreamed of us. i've wanted to whisk you to the weirwoods and handfast to declare you are mine and i am yours. do you hear me? i am yours."
and he kisses mordhred's knuckle as if he's a knight sealing his oaths, squeezing one final time before finally releasing the tully liege.
there is nothing he can show them. the part of him long lost to the mountains he fell, and the soil he screamed into consumes more than he can dare admit. to confess that would crack the foundation the two of them built in the aftermath, as painfully slow it was. as shaky as it still stands.
but gwyneth's heartbeat dances under his fingers. their pulse thrumming as they willingly press his hand to their throat. he tries to breathe, but when they push his hand to their chest, he nearly chokes. each breath staggered; each second leaning closer until he mouths at their collarbone. their heartbeat dances faster, and his own thunders after.
feather-light touch transforms to bruising grip at their waist. they mold to one another's shape. his hot breaths trail up their neck, finding the point of jugular where he tastes sweat and feels heartbeat on his tongue. a kiss, a bite, an answer.
"are you able to tell what i'm thinking?" he exhales onto their throat. another set of kisses travel to their jaw, and then their cheek. "do you see where you are?"
he does not wait for their answer. when his lips meet theirs, when their mouths part for one another, the only sound left are their gasps filling the space.
in fire and blood: so passes the rule of PRINCESS DELFINA TARGARYEN OF DRAGONSTONE, two weeks after recovery from the black water, in the autumn of 103ac. @rottedhearts
PLEASE READ WITH CAUTION. thread has been tagged as thoroughly as to the writers' discretions.
DISCLAIMER: the writs, missives, documents, etc. are not intended as god-modding nor acting in place of plot drops. they are intended as only narrative arc + character arc plot devices, and can be used or discarded by the folks i've plotted with as seen fit. for example: delfina has supported legitimisation, but the sealed document intended for falyn supporting her claim for highgarden/bastard legitimisation is not law, it is simply an indication of alliance and choice.
the world outside will not know the truth of what transpired. it is up to hira as muse and r. as writer to reveal the true cause of death, or the mods at their own discretions.
— — — — — indicates writer switch.
SUMMARY FOR THOSE WHO DO NOT WISH TO READ DUE TO THE TRIGGERS: after warning words from the maester and moving back to the targaryen rooms to "calm her mind" after several fits of madness, delfina has a moment of clarity and reckoning. with the information at hand and the mortal wounding of her body at the claws of the dragons she could never bond with, a fork in the road is reached. not wishing to repeat the behaviour against others that she experienced at the hands of her brother, she requests hira to give her thrice the amount of milk of the poppy — a mercy killing, and quiet passing of her own terms.
the hour crawls towards the eleventh. the twelfth. the thirteenth. something in delfina’s heart is pierced in its slumber. her gaze, it cannot be removed from the corner of this room.
she asked to be moved to her quarters. they were, in fact, never her quarters. they were aegor’s. a whisper traipses up her spine. everything in this keep … it will always be mine. the goose’s flesh bites her around the ears. she swallows. the pain within, it nauseates her. a sweat breaks out upon her brow. a warmth floods her. upon a slight glance, it is noted: the wounds bleed anew. and the bond crawls up her throat: shrykos, i know you circle, waiting for me. i know you wait for me. you wouldn’t have done this to me if we weren’t meant —
her eyes flutter shut. a stirring comes from across the hall. there are too many vials upon the side table beside aegor’s bed. kill them. just fucking burn them all. “hira.” she sounds so wretched. so fucking weak. she keeps her eyes closed. somehow her voice carries. it is too sharp. “... hira, my beloved.” slipping into the comfortable silk of valyrian.
“will you come here please?”
— — — — —
she does not sleep. how can she? delfina returned, and yet hira has watched her spouse run her fingers over harsh, infected scars. the world-shattering relief at the news delfina was found nearly brought hira to her knees; if she were alone in this very bedroom, she would have bowed her head to the stone floor and screamed in joy.
there is no joy in this moment.
she jolts at the sound of her name. carrying too many phials of medicine in her arms, she deposits most at the desk. valyrian seeps into the space; is it a better sign? does it indicate delfina will improve? hira bits the inside of her lip, swallowing all her doubts, and moves toward her favorite person in this wretched castle.
“i am here, my love.” her valyrian remains stilted in comparison to the smoothness of delfina’s. but it is a language delfina taught her; it is one that hira will always have with her.
she sits on the bed, tucking delfina’s hand between both of hers. “what is it you need?”
— — — — —
her gaze shifts. for a moment, it is simply she and hira, hira and delfina. they are women in shape and flush with adoration; moving into each other’s arms with shyness. their shadows winding together, and they wind together now and yet it is not the same. the light relief to delfina’s expression fades into taut worry. brow knitted, face wan. gaze drifting back to that corner. where the darkness shifts and takes shape, where a voice speaks to her low.
“are we alone? we’re alone, aren’t we?” her grip tightens upon hira’s hand beneath hers. a grip of valyrian steel, of a surge of strength. the shadow drips. there is a broken crown on his head — on her head. her breathing shortens. “there’s … there’s no one here, is there? the only way to know what truly lies in the darkness is to burn everything.”
that infusion of strength enters her voice. an impulse. her wounds are burgundy as shrykos’s scales. surely she burns something out there, she-dragon of the stone… surely the chains are broken. “burn everything.” whispered. her body aches with the leaving of it and then, it is hira’s presence that returns her.
she glances to her wife sharply. “there are envelopes in the desk drawer. can you fetch them and remind me of what their contents are?”
— — — — —
rarely does delfina frighten her. she has the capability of viciousness; a trait shared with aegor, though hira only spoke of this observation once. after all, delfina was as strikingly different from aegor, so much so that the similarities hid in the shadows. but here, with delfina’s gaze distant, wavering — fear claws at hira’s throat.
“it is only you and me, darling.” she cups delfina’s cheek, urging the princess’s gaze to return. but it remains lost to the room and its darkest corners. burn everything. is it another dream breaking the surface? another warning to heed, a metaphor waiting to burst into reality?
for a moment, clarity returns to delfina’s eyes. hira swallows a gasp of relief as her spouse’s gaze flicks back to her. slowly, she nods and releases delfina, stepping softly to the desk.
the liquid in the phials glisten as she gently opens the drawers, withdrawing the l in etters within. each possess a name scrawled with delfina’s script: their daughters, her informants, falyn tyrell. each are not yet sealed with the dragonstone sigil. hira’s brows furrow as she opens the one addressed to herself.
then she opens another. the next. the paper wavers — when did her hands start to shake? her heartbeat thunders like an omen.
“delfina,” she begins, her voice a treacherous tremble. “your letters speak of — of your love. of your promises and plans. and what is to be done after your death.”
hira doesn’t remember returning to the bed, but she’s suddenly hovering above delfina, clutching the letters in her hands. she swallows again, forcing herself to slowly settle. it cannot be, it cannot be, and yet — and yet.
“when did you write these?”
— — — — —
delfina watches with caution and relish. satisfaction floods her bones when hira pulls them out, an array and variety, all marked with the seal. will it even mean anything in the end? it does not matter. her chest rises and falls with a laboured sigh. hand fluttering to her brow as hira returns, and she meets her gaze, and it is the firmest and most lucid thing about her.
“falyn tyrell deserves legitimacy. maekara is to inherit dragonstone and be cautious of promises made with lannisters. seraphina hightower is to be given writ of passage if she need escape. amerei mallister, gifted compensation from the targaryen coffers.” a mulling. hira sorts through the lettres with those trembling hands, and delfina’s fingertips are placed to her own lips, chapped and horrible. salt-dried and mummified nearly. when has she been reduced to a walking corpse? “do you understand what must be done?”
there are no tears yet. she closes her eyes and leans back into the pillows. rests. there is a silence. in the silence comes the whispering — “you will be told you have no power nor say. i give you the greatest power of all: knowledge. you will do what i cannot with it.”
a grimace. the dragon’s markings upon her sternum suddenly burn, and the heat of anger overwhelms them. “i wrote them before the dragons came … i told you. i told you.”
she reaches over and grabs her. her wife, her beloved. now she is shaking.
“there was no one out there in the water.” a hiss. “i tried to picture your face, to think of our daughters, and there was no one … no one but him. and he’s here now.”
his ghost — frantic, she glances towards the door, and a pleading sound emerges. clawing at hira’s arms, clinging to her for some semblance of grounding. but there he is, with a crown shattered upon his head, piercing his skull, there he is, dripping in bile and —
“he’s here.” emphatic.
— — — — —
she should understand. a part of her already began laying the strategy for how she will deliver the letters and enact delfina’s wishes. this knowledge, this power — how could it arrive with devastating doom?
“all of this a preparation for the dragons . . . “ muttered in broken vowels. a horror trapped in her throat. delfina did not expect to live. the sharp gasp cuts through the room. the devastation a cruel weight nearly forcing her to curl into herself. delfina did not expect to survive at all.
but she’s here, and she’s — clawing at hira. wide eyes tinged red around the pupils. the sour scent of infected scars filling the air with her spouse’s every movement. he’s here now, he’s here, and said with such conviction fear strikes at hira’s heart.
but when she glances over her shoulder, no spectre lingers; no haunt makes themself known. brows furrow and she begins shaking her head, assurances on her tongue.
( the realm holds its breath whenever a targaryen is born. )
her breathing stops. no. aegor does not deserve to live as long as he did and delfina falters here. no, no, no.
she doesn’t realize she’s speaking. the repetition of a whispered no echoing in a bedchamber that should be only theirs. her grip tightens to bruising strength, nails digging into the back of delfina’s hands, scratches of her own to combat shrykos’.
“aegor is not here, delfina.” for who else would render her afraid if not for the monster of her youth? “he is ash, scattered to the wind, never to rise again. he cannot hurt you. he cannot claim you.”
urgently, she rips her hands from delfina’s, cupping her wife’s face to wrench her gaze back to her. “you are alive. you are safe. beloved, please — it’s you and me. me and you.”
— — — — —
hira cannot decimate her hand as shrykos did to her chest. a bond irrevocable, a yearning to be alight, to leave this place behind. “the only valyrian that should have been said to them was dracarys. they should all be ash for what they’ve done to us!” it takes one moment, two moments too long, the feverish gleam to her gaze strengthening even as hira soothes her. the thrashing stills, and delfina’s chest ceases its heaving. “listen to me.”
that is what strikes her. she pauses. her gaze does not lock upon hira’s as it should, but it neither wanders back towards the spectre which lurks. instead, something breaks through the fog. “... listen to me.” bewildered. “listen to who i sound like. he cannot hurt me but i will be the one to harm. aegor is here. out there, in the bay … i tried so hard, i tried to remember you, i tried to remember … our daughters, anyone who mattered, and there was only him.” the motions to cling are self-soothing. she looks to the bottles hira has set down.
“he spoke to me through alester westerling’s wretched mouth. he reminded me of our rightful place. in death he has never been kinder, nor crueller. his laugh is in those of the kingsguard, and his righteous rule … is mine to continue. i can never be free of him.” the tears do not fall. they recede, entirely, drying as the rivers do. “he made sure of it. and the bond i longed for … at last, i have it. and it is killing me.”
( it was almost tangible, the ache which spread at the news of aegor’s death. when the note had been delivered to her, she had been alone. her daughters liberated from what chains would bind them, her wife carefree in dragonstone’s gardens. no relief spilled out of her veins when she read the missive, nor saw the wax seal attached as hollow invitation. it is all hollow. his death was hollow. this keep is hollow. the dragon pit is … hollow. )
“this is the end of me.” it sounds satisfied. “but unlike my brother, i will choose it.”
( you are unworthy of the targaryen name! your children are farces, i want nothing to do with them. cast yourself from my sight lest you prove yourself useful! the sparring blurs into the grievous wounds. the clawing at his neck, the foaming at his mouth, skin pale. whether it had happened like this or not did not matter. the water sinks her deeper into it. she fainted out there once. twice. she told amerei to hold on. she … died, perhaps. )
a deep breath. a lingering one. “i wanted things … to be so different for us. and here i am … the same. but i will not remain as such. you must do what the realm dares not try. you must be the one to fell me.”
the resolve hurts her. there is a human panic, a repulsion against her own words. she chokes on them, but pushes through, and then for a moment, she does weep: “i will not repeat my brother’s mistakes. and i will die anyways.” she blinks hard. she takes both of hira’s hands, and relishes in them: their sensation, their pressure. “you know it is true. you know i am alive and safe, but i am not whole, and no one will be safe from me.”
( i cannot rule as a broken shell; i cannot reign as a madwoman. the glass candles are burning … there would be tens of thousands dead on my account. )
— — — — —
delfina’s ferocity extinguishes all sound. for a long moment, silence encases hira as it did the long night when delfina fell into blackwater. she stares at the twist to delfina’s mouth, the fiery intensity of her gaze. she has witnessed delfina’s fury before: a careful burn wielded to her benefit. but this? with teeth bared as if she is a pure dragon, the outburst of a curse?
the longer she watches, the more dread fills her heart.
a breath; she feels the motion of it rather than the sound. but hira shifts, and delfina’s words reach her ears. delfina holds onto her, and distantly, hira thinks of alester westerling. the bloated body hosting the claw marks of the survivors. it was the only time he was useful for the rightful ruler. but is hira useful now? another body to cling to, another face to add to delfina’s ruined visions?
“delfina.” the name carries so much. all her love, poured into a single word. “you survived the bay and a dragon’s claws; you are capable of surviving this. you are.” but she speaks through gritted teeth; her words do not match the memory of grandmaester mace, and the quiet confession: i do not know how long the princess will last if she does not improve.
and now delfina declares the end herself.
hira pulls away. how cruel, how selfish. but she cannot remain still; every movement of her pacing, of her hands brushing down her robes, are the ripples to the stone falling into the terrible river of the inevitable. a sob crawls up her throat, and she swallows. again and again, she swallows down the shock over the ask, the denial of the madness uttered, the anger that she must bear witness for another she loves reaching for the stranger.
tears brim, and hira furiously swipes at her eyes. when she looks back to her love, her hand is curled at her throat.
“you promised me.” rarely have they combatted. any barbed words were traded at the start of their arranged union, but they had not learned each other. they had not yet loved each other. twenty-five years together, building a foundation, raising their children, nurturing their love. she promised.
“not ever. that is what we declared. and you — you — ”
the sob finally rips through her. only with delfina has she shattered before; it is no different now. with trembling hands, she covers her face, bending in half from the weight of the moment.
“you are my heart, delfina,” she wails into her hands. “why can’t we have more time?”
another sob echoes. the candlelight flickers with each hiccuping breath. composure is eternally lost, but hira manages to straighten, stumbling her return to delfina’s side. brushing along the princess’s forehead, hira cups delfina’s cheek once more.
“do you see no other way?” each word a broken whisper. delfina told her once that they would stand together against the rising. but if that has changed — if there is no other path —
do not go where i cannot follow.
— — — — —
and she has not improved. the words of others echoing: should you not be with the maester — is there anything i can do — dorne may finish you — and momentarily, all voided: hira’s sob of despair, at least she gets to hear it. at least it is just us in the end. delfina’s tears do spill seeing her grief. experiencing the beginnings of it with her, and her body tightening in rebellion, speaking loudly: do not kill me! i may rise again! but even this exhausts her.
the time dwindles. she lets there be more than there should. shaking her head. in silence at first, because she has spoken so much, and what more can be said? it will be a cold comfort in the end, when her embrace stiffens. when hira will guide her to the stranger. ( is that who i see? the stranger wearing my brother’s face? the first and last time she has called him brother since childhood. ) one day, hira, you will follow me. “you are mine. you are my spirit. you are the better parts of me.” speaking to her cupped hand, both blessing and cursing the lines of her palm.
“but the milk will addle me. and my brother will curse our line. already i see it, hira. alysanne is lost to the hightowers, and maekara and viserra … they despise each other. reconciling in grief …” it is the only way. “the stags will be impaled upon their own banners. the dragons will reign the skies. the trawlers will scrape the sands of dorne and an asp will slither about the paws of lions who change their minds. traitors!” hissed. from a dream, a hazed vision, to a lived nightmare, to the madness of her own truth, regardless of its reality. the swallow hurts furthermore. “i want not the stranger to have aegor’s face. it must have yours.”
she strokes hira’s hand. the smile faint. “then … he will not be a stranger at all.”
minutes pass. an hour, together. she remarks nothing more even in the feverish rage that permeates her entire being. the final true blood of valyria faltering in the lantern’s light, and in the end, will spill red all the same.
“do we not hate me for this, please. for when i see you again, i wish to be as happy as when we first wed.” the corners of her vision darken with the ache to sleep regardless. a deep sleep, within the touched-womb of the unliving, shrykos’s spirit curled around her. a warm egg, against an infant’s palm, and burgundy eyes to match her blood. “you will see me upon sunwing and her wings will not be tattered. call to me then, and i will come. i will always come when you call.”
with resolve, she leans back. a hot knife of pain slashes through her, and she loses colour in her features. she winces, driven back into the pillows. “do what must be done.” gaze watery with the agony, with the dripping of draconic poison into her wounds. it must be…
— — — — —
she witnesses the slow shake of delfina’s head, and wishes she could not see at all. the answer she never wanted. the only answer there could be. the claw marks on delfina’s chest weep with rot, and her spouse struggles even now to keep her breathing even. for every word spoken, it is another snip to the thread of delfina’s life. there will be no thread left before morning.
hira brushes her thumb beneath delfina’s eye, catching the tears. delfina’s touch sends shivers up her arm, a trail leading right to her heart. a wild part of her wonders if there was enough time to leave, to fetch each of their daughters so they could say their goodbyes. but then there would be no goodbye; there would only be the fiery fight to keep delfina breathing. they would wield all they’ve learned from them both for just one more day.
and hira desires to be selfish. for them and for herself. deny delfina’s dreams, cling onto her tighter, draw every rune to demand the impossible. and yet — and yet.
hira doesn’t stop her sob. bowing her head, she sucks shaky breath after shaky breath. the scream burns in her chest, but she does not allow it further reach. instead, she presses a kiss to delfina’s forehead and withdraws once more.
it’s only a short path to the desk. it’s only a small movement to collect three phials of milk of poppy. but the moments stretch to an eternity, an endless unraveling. her eyes ache from the strain of exhaustion and tears. but when she returns, there is only the heartbreaking sheen of clarity to her gaze.
“i do not and will not hate you, delfina.” hira climbs onto the bed, careful in navigation. gentle hands raise delfina’s body so she can slip beneath; a cocoon of warmth surrounding delfina. slowly, she tucks delfina’s face into the crook of her neck — a spot long since molded for the princess. they have fallen asleep like this time and time again.
she uncorks the first phial. wraps her hand around delfina’s jaw and tips her face up, kissing her long and slow. pours every part of her love first, before replacing her lips with that of the phial.
“you saved me from a lifetime of stillness,” she whispers. “of sitting by the bedside of my family, trapped in the well of grief.” the first phial finishes, and she reaches for the second. her hand trembles, and a splash of poppy falls. but hira forces herself steady. “i never dreamed of a life shared. and then you came to me and changed everything for the better.”
the last phial she grips hard, closing her eyes. tears mark their trail down her cheeks, and she presses her face into delfina’s hair. deep breath after deep breath, searing scent to memory. finally, she guides the last to her beloved’s mouth.
“i will never cease loving you, delfina. i will call you every night in hopes you will visit my dreams. and when i breathe my last, i will reach for you. we will finally ride a dragon together.”
she eases back against the headboard. she hugs delfina close, pressing another kiss to her hair. softly, in the same tune delfina taught her, she begins singing the same valyrian lullaby delfina sang to each of their dragon babes. the valyrian still rough, still too foreign on her tongue, but it is theirs.
and as her spouse rests, hira gently draws three runes, over and over, right at delfina’s heart.
life. love. together.
— — — — —
mother, will you let me take care of you? and so she did. and so she does. willingly does she drink of the terrible draught, and the milk is translucent and burning. saddened with the relief almost instant, then the fog, then the daze. how haloed is hira’s hair, how delicate her voice; delfina thinks, with remarkable clarity, of the time they gathered around maekara’s bed upon her fever breaking. she and hira, alysanne and viserra, holding fast at dragonstone, taking turns to sing the same lullaby to draw her back home.
“wouldn’t that be so lovely? i always said sunwing would take to you. the years have been so long … i must accept they were enough.” the limbo: how strange for this to be what she wants and what she doesn’t. her body trembles in that last rebellion, the milk that slow and gentle caress and the last of the burning in her sternum fading away. wait, her soul seems to cry, wait, not yet, it can’t be time. it is almost too easy to let that rest.
the stranger does come. in a hooded cloak, lean and blurring, and delfina grips hira’s arm. to her it still holds her familiar strength, but in truth, barely does she squeeze. hira’s singing blends with that of her daughters, a haunting chime that beckons her from beneath that hood. she wants to tell hira she was right; not just about the stranger, but about how she should have been more careful. ask for forgiveness for everything she did wrong, and say how much she loves her for everything that was done right.
but perhaps it has all been said. “delfina targaryen … killed by the dragon she loved.”
when the stranger lifts their cloak, delfina’s head softens into hira’s embrace. she looks upon her, and with a dripping slowness, sinks deeper. i’m so tired. i didn’t realise how tired i was. perhaps if i get some sleep, i’ll wake up feeling better.
“at last,” she whispers. “a dreamless sleep.”
with the last inkling of strength, she lets herself be comfortable. the numbness spreads in a pleasant tingling throughout her limbs. for a moment, her face crumples, and her ear presses to the place above hira’s heart, as hira has done all the times before. she breathes deeply. a prolonged sigh, her eyes closing of her own accord. the lavender and yarrow seep their lovely scent from the bedside table, just now beginning to wilt.
when the hour passes, the room falls silent.
— — — — —
delfina’s breath brushes her chest, and hira can barely keep her voice stable. when delfina barely squeezes her arm, hira grips her tighter, keeping her close as if she can prevent the stranger from taking her. but delfina’s soul could never be hers to hold.
the lullaby rises and falls in time with delfina’s chest. it is the last call to home; it is the final reminder of what she leaves behind. and when delfina’s heartbeat slows, and so too does hira’s singing.
her final note breaks as delfina sighs her last.
hira clutches her spouse, finally closing her eyes.
exhaustion pulls at her, but she denies its power. she counts her own breaths against the tears falling down her cheeks and into delfina’s hair. the candlelight flickers again, wax dripping a slow descent. minutes, hours — it bleeds into one.
only when the beginnings of dawn touches the bed does hira finally stir.
a cocoon breaking down, she finally withdraws. gently places delfina against the pillows, cupping her face one final time. for too many days, delfina has been marked by pain; for too many years, her life had been stalked by strife. finally, her expression is one of peace.
hira forces herself to move. she collects the empty phials, hiding them within the lining of dresses or under the loose stones the two of them found their first night. swallows the bile, and the tears, and everything her heart screams for. she saves her last heartbreak when the room fills with soft sunlight. a piece of delfina’s hair, cut with gentle care, and taken for all the years they shared.
when she finally emerges into the common area, two servants are already preparing the family’s table. they both look up, and hira lifts her chin as their smiles morph to shock.
“discreetly fetch grandmaester mace,” she says. her gaze drifts to each of her daughter’s rooms. “inform him that the rightful queen has passed away in her sleep.”
the ringing porcelain reverberates in his head, and he clenches his jaw. but he keeps still; he forces himself to watch every twitch of movement across mordhred's face. the ripples of shock, evident and coursing through their whole body. akira waits with the anticipation of the hunted. so tense, he can't even bark out a laugh at mordhred's first words, nor when they snatch his pipe and heave puff after puff.
it is the wrong time to linger on those lips.
akira swallows. "did anyone truly believe i could be a father back then?" said with the hint of sorrow. he had not been ready when ren was born; how lucky the gods blessed his parents with shizuka only two years prior. how simple it was to fold ren into the main family.
jaw clenches again at the mention of myria. the confirmation unneeded, but settles hollow all the same. the brackens aim to wield the knowledge to their benefit; it is only a matter of time.
and mordhred sits there in the aftermath, jittery and laughing, glee in their gaze. despite himself, akira finally melts back into his seat, sighing in exasperation. "of course ren knows. i am not that much of a wretched father." he leans his cheek against fist, watching the other's shoulders shake in another bout of laughter.
"mordhred." the name falls soft, precious. "i . . . i am telling you ren is the best part of me. he may be the only good thing i will ever give to this world." akira blinks fast, clearing his throat. "i trust you. maybe more than wise, but you . . . you . . . "
he grabs onto mordhred's favor again, rubbing finger and thumb over the braided knot. a wry smile breaks.
the relief which blooms within this private chamber resonates near palpable. laughter spreads as delicious as jam and margarine, and for a moment, the serious consequences reign nowhere near them. even as mordhred's smile fades into pensive contentment, and akira searches their features, it causes their pulse to skip a beat. “ once i was brave. i slaughtered beasts in my youth none in the seven kingdoms would dare to breathe against. ” a perfunctory sniff, a settling in the chair. it is as though akira still awaits something from them, and they picture ren's face, and those similarities once more. they think of house bracken, of how someone else must know within there, the hypocrisy of such a statement when betha rivers is alive and well and knighted. yes, akira had lied. but who wouldn't?
“ i sure didn't fucking believe it then, no, but i believe it now. ” the room enters an almost dream - like quality. they peer at akira's hand untormented by keeping his face propped up, and then they are hesitant, and reach for it. the hand which touches the favour, mordhred brings down from his chest. he realises then that he shakes, shakes with the softness of his name in akira's mouth. “ the gods know i've failed as a father myself. lied, cheated, swindled for my boy. yours … has much greater consequence than mine. but, well. if the brackens reveal it, and house blackwood falls to ruins … he need not be part of it, and neither do you. ”
was this even possible? would my father offer such a shield of protection? am i being ridiculous and being carried away with dreams of boyhood? “ there's three options. to keep lying, to let your house be felled, or to give ren a better, firmer name. let him be someone's spouse … or … someone else's son. ” they swallow. it feels as if their heart might take flight.
“ and … well, y'know. ” a gesture with his chin. a shakier laugh. “ i'm rather fond of the lad. ”
"it's not ambition that drives me." not for power, wealth, glory, none of that. she desires safety, security, for her and hers. seraphina closes the distance between them. she sets her glass down and lowers herself onto his lap, cupping a hand on his cheek. "i want you to be safe, above all else. i don't have much i can wield but i'll use it. i want you and the few people i love so deeply that i ache to not have to exist in fear for circumstances out of their control." she sighs, resting her forehead against his, taking a moment before contemplating breaking her promise to falyn, to put dangerous knowledge out into the world that cannot be taken back. "i'm going to tell you something that you must swear to me you will share with no one else. not a single word. swear it on our babe that could not be brought into the world because of its cruelty."
because in another life, it would be her and their babe needing protection, and taliesin, himself, knew the life of a bastard. but would that understanding prevent him from sharing the news with his own brother? sera swallows the lump in her throat, wondering if this was the test falyn suggested, when one learns if a love can withstand. she moves to sit beside him, taking their hand and gripping it.
she prays to the seven that he'll keep his promise and she isn't ruining things like she always does. "i need to help secure falyn as heir to highgarden because she deserves it, because she is my late sister's eldest, because... because she has a daughter. she and..." her voices catches. "you and i share a niece of sorts. addam. he... t-they had a relationship before his banishment, apparently. and he refused her letters, she's attempted to tell him but now... addam does not know. the realm, obviously, doesn't know. and no one else can."
"falyn can't even know i've told you. but rylene... she's innocent and she's so small. this wonderful, sweet babe, and i will not let anyone use her in this game."
ambition should be more of a driving force for him than whims. but perhaps in some idea, this has protected him from thus far meeting the same fate as those before him. luck might run out, plans might go off the beaten tracks, but still — he sets down the cup and leans forwards, brows knitting. upon their babe? his heart tightens. this means, he thinks offhandedly to himself, another babe is on the way — or already here. but he thinks not a smidgen more of it, remarking instead: “ good grief, i swear it. do tell me. it will not be spread from my lips. ” and then when she says it, he feels that familiar, far too familiar, pallor settle over his features. his back meets that of the chair's with a resounding thump.
“ you know. somehow … i still manage to be surprised when i shouldn't be. ” taliesin ponders the little girl he thinks he noticed, or perhaps did not; the sound of cries in the keep he minded business with, for it made the strings of his heart wrap harshly and remind him of what had not come to pass, and what he could not doom another child to as a life. listen to this nonsense, this folly! he inhales to the depth that his throat aches. “ i see. well, this certainly complicates things. and no, he doesn't know, of course not! we are built the same. ” or so i should hope with great desperation. “ he'll not hear it from me. that is falyn tyrell's business to inform him. and gods be cursed, there will be plenty of time for that. ” a slightly widened gaze as he takes the cup and sips. the hot flash spreads through him, a spike of anxiety. he has never been so glad for an open shirt. “ let me ponder what we can do. if falyn is wed, it matters not. but to whom? and would she do this for her daughter as was not done for us? ” more musing aloud, attempting to place a piece down.
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It was only the kindness of strangers that had made Shiera friends in this court... yet would that kindness extend unto true shelter? She had heard all her life of the great ties of kinship that bound families together, that watered all branches of their vast trees until they would stand together eternal. She had seen little of it herself, with the distance House Westerling had maintained with them, and the divisions her father had set twixt herself and Addam, or Taliesin and the world. Yet in this moment, she trusted none but the two of them. "Nor I you two, had I any cart to pull," a laugh at her own futility. Perhaps soon she would have to beg the few friends she might name true for a place, a seat, a roof—and when she did so, she would name her siblings alongside her. For now she had only their support. Shiera placed a hand upon their face. "You could," she urged. "Better than Father—and I do not damn with faint praise. They will allow it once they see your worth. Only... only put yourself forward, and you could be what he was." A rough swallow. What could Shiera be? What her mother was? No. No. Desperation ought not turn her deplorable. "Besides: what choice have we left but to offer ourselves? As pawn or sacrifice?" Or both?
shiera's words imbue him with confidence, but confidence is a very different beast from the reality setting in. a shiver wracks his spine, though he tenses to ensure she does not bear witness to it. she would read him as simply as an open book, despite his best efforts, and so this leads her to mention more, to say he simply must prove himself, but what would that journey look like? where might it take him? stranger things have happened, this he cannot deny, and even their father, known to the realm as charlatan and named as discarder of children behind his own back, was still in place of the hand of the king until such terrible fate befell him. “ i don't want to meet a similar fate. i enjoy my drinking, my revelry, my knowing and my going, but i don't want to go off a cliff. ” still she does give him pause, and for this, he steadies himself. he will not forget this as easily as he wishes. “ … i will consider it when the time comes. but the time is not now. we will be framed as traitors at worst nor told to be the iron throne's jesters at best. ” and perhaps taliesin was funny, but he was not so funny as to make a living at it. a glorified doll. “ come, let us not linger. we'll have enough time to lay our plans in the privacy of the ship's bottom we're banished to. ” such cruelty should not happen, they do not expect it to — but neither does taliesin put anything past anybody.
devrim watches her, amazed at the kind of decorum that she sustains even after everything that has happened to her. he has enough himself to turn his head as she writes, not wishing to read the words she sends in case he was not allowed to. only when the parchment is in his hands does he bow to her, "i shall seal it and send it immediately, your grace. the smallfolk will thank you for this, that i know. please get well soon, the maester should be here now." he bows once more, then turns and leaves the princess to herself while her letter remains in his hand. he shall do anything the princess wishes, no matter what that brought upon him.
harlon's eyes widen, if only slightly, when the princess begins to speak. is this the work of whatever had been given to her by the maesters? milk of the poppy, no doubt, after days spent floating in the bay. he cannot imagine the amount of trauma she must've endured.
“ah, no, i simply was concerned for your wellbeing, princess,” harlon says, bowing his head respectfully. “i mean no disrespect, of course.” it is true, he was genuinely concerned. if he were in her position, he wouldn't be so ready to return to the business of things.
“i will leave you to your thoughts, then,” he says politely. “should you need of me, do not hesitate to send for me.”
So had they. He remembered their desperate attempts to flee to safety or medical assistance, whichever came first. The mad dash of it, inhaling smoke, smelling fire. The furious stretch and cramp of his right leg as he tried to run; the wound that had left an ugly cut near his ankle. The sense that he was melting more than just sweating. Pain had been an afterthought, he thought, to the fear, of the possibility they wouldn't make it. That Daemian wouldn't make it, after he had brought him there.
So their words sent him right back into tears. He lives, more meaningful than any promise they may have made of things being alright. It didn't matter what happened to Grover, if his presence there was discovered and he was personally set aflame for having been there, whether it was his fault or otherwise, whether the dragons and the destruction and Amerei and all of it, all the rest of it, could be cobbled together into a sentence and placed squarely on his head—it wouldn't matter, because he hadn't killed his best friend over a stupid fucking dare.
Amerei next, he pleaded silently. Send her back, and I'll take anything.
"I was so scared," he muttered, and it came out half sobs. "I thought he'd fucking die right there on the street. I thought I'd die right there. Gods, the bloody bastard made it. Blood of the dragon." He laughed and clutched Father's hand, made eye contact. It seemed right for them to tell him—but strange, too, that he heard the news not as Mordhred's son, but as Daemian's friend. He'd never been both at once before. "Thank you. And I'm sorry."
grover's current state of being would require a towel or several. mordhred, unaware they have joined the weeping ranks albeit silently, when grover clutches to their hands, they provide pressure of comfort and no additional words. both gruffness and suspicion have faded for the time being. they do not wish to add further distress to him upon asking for details, and such things must be managed in their smaller stages, otherwise it would be overwhelming. even for them, who might decipher the truth of this, and then what would they do with it? what kind of honuorable man would they wish to be with it? those are decisions for the future of them. “ hush now. we need not speak of it anymore. you have lived through more than most can dare to say. the rest is simply trimmed lace to the garment. ” they glance to the state of grover's bandages, and then get the aforementioned towel to dry his face with before the maester comes to change them. best not to let them see the tullys in such a state. they have no shame, but they do have that sense of privacy.
"so , no answers ," lyanna confirmed quietly. it would be easier for the crown to wash their hands of everything outside of the castle walls , write it off as a tragedy best left in the past. if anyone suspected the missing princess was laying among the rubble , however , the streets would be clean with no stone left unturned. "your family has always been most giving with our people." lyanna cast a quick glance at gwyneth , not fully knowing if she held a fondness for her husband and new family , or if it was just a means to an end. lyanna had never been particularly interested in politics , and besides knowing the noble houses she had less than an idea of the personal relations within them. "is the vale to your liking ? is it much different than what you were used to ?"
gwyneth agrees with a shake of their head. answers would be far and few in-between, and this pains them. it would pain their house worse in the long run to be left shaking their heads and uncertain. a compliment given and there comes the reminder of who they once were, the name they had left behind, is it truly their house or name still to claim despite five long years? “ dexian would despise to not be a true home for those who have his heart. i have visited the vale upon your sister's invitations many times. i believe i've finally become used to it. ” once they wouldn't dare to call it home, but with the keep looming before them, it seems no worse a place to return to. they would hate for the westerlands to be their permanent home with their house taking the throne, though such abdication was nigh impossible. “ and it has treated me better than white harbour did in the end, although a piece of me stays on the ships of the iron islands. ” better for this time of their life to come from their own lips.
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out of instinct, she approaches to help delfina settle against the bed, unsure of the appropriateness but offers the help regardless. "no offense taken, princess delfina." seraphina could understand. as much as she loved her siblings, the looming presence of their lord father and his ambition that doomed them all. she respected lady helvis but her faith may be twisted by her father to further his own cause. she considered it for a moment before continuing. "my brother is my father's pawn, more than anything." would that be enough? likely not. a turncoat to her own blood out of selfish desires. perhaps she'd burn in the seven hells but in the smallest areas, if she could try to ease the treachery of her brother's initiatives in the princess's eyes. "lady helvis and elyas were... connecting in the sept during your disappearance. and i know ceryse was befriending liege jocelyn or the intention has been set by my father."
she played with her fingers, considering the pressure maekara was under, to wed from what it seems, a good friend, a dearest friend, yet be entangled in a game when most of the realm wished for the targaryens to fail. "my father hasn't said about his intention for hand. but i do promise you, to the best of my ability, i will continue to be a friend and ally to maekara. and her sisters."
"i know it is not a priority of yours." but these are priorities of mine. "may i ask about... the futures of falyn and for lord alester's children. i believe maekara approached shiera. i'm confident i can guide taliesin to be in alignment."
now there were names provided. elyas and helvis have been speaking together — a convincing of which delfina was certain would cement something akin to friendship. it was practically lost to them. the path unfolds with cracks and bloodied seams, and it becomes black and bitter in her mouth. “ how easily friendship is persuaded away. so it seems similar in what you refer to with the new ruling lady of the crag. i can do very little until i am seated upon the throne itself, but know that my first missive would be to title those who have none. their futures will be secured to my personal limits. ” it must be understood that no legitimacy could happen except in the hands of someone who was to sit on the throne — but perhaps the agreement, the terms, would settle enough for now, provide a bit of comfort.
“ you will need a way out if it's discovered what you've done for me. amerei might be of interest to you and your future, if you are in need of further numbers. ” she mulls this over. how it confirms what maekara told her, how what she posted in the missive to dragonstone must therefore become law. a musing continues as she exists in this limbo, where she cannot yet do anything and yet also must do something. “ i'll arrange it. if you can snag the other waters, which i do believe should be easy if you speak of such betrayal … alliances are powerful even non-noble. ” a thin smile. “ let no one speak over you, seraphina. you wield more power than you know. ” or perhaps she does know, and that was what made her so dangerous and informative. it settles delfina in a way.
you lift you face up, reddened and moist from the tears, the second she seizes your hand. there is strength in the grip. there is still some fight in her. good. you chest heaves and you smile with glossy eyes--- she had not come home just to die in your arms, no. and you no longer have to carry this burden without her. you refrain from asking, however, why did she keep you in the dark about so much, for so long. had she taken your hand and walked you through every plan, you would not have wobbled on your feet, marching mournfully towards the resolve this moot demanded of you. "shrykos?" you echo, brows furrowing, as you stumble through her words and their meanings. "it spoke to you?" can dragons speak to the targaryens of the blood? either this is true or she is still shaken from being adrift so long, this the one thing keeping her afloat. you do not have the heart to tell her otherwise. to deny her anything of comfort. and what do you know of taming dragon anyway--- you, who had not set foot once on the hill of rhaenys' pit, and now you never will. you had become so desperate, at some point during the days delfina was gone, that you considered lunging at one; to find daria or darksmoke and try your best luck. but to tame a dragon you must also be ready to die. are you? are you, maekara? "avy jorrāelan, muña. avy qrīdrughilun daor." (i love you, mother. i won't leave you.) seven days from now you were. but now... now you wish to postpone certain death a minute longer to sit in the quiet with her. you lean up and over her, carefully, arms enveloping her fragile frame as your face falls to her shoulder. "i know everything now, and i believe i have carried out my duty as best i could. but there are things you should know," you murmur only to her ear. "nyke viserre hen jorahot dāerēdan. nyke aohi kīvia tyrelloti arrynotī rāeltan. yne jōzī?" (i rid viserra of jorah and kept your promises to the tyrells and the arryns, are you proud of me?) "harri ao aerēptā ābrāzma baratheon hightowerī ivestretas." (while you were away, lady baratheon was speaking to the hightowers.) you omit the worst part.
“ she was the dragon in my crib, the clutch to which i was meant to bond. ” as maekara holds her close, the two of them become fragile together, and delfina touches the marks upon her, and a smile trembles. “ at last, she marked me. she spoke from the skies. ” ( a nagging feeling alights in the back of her head. are you certain that was who spoke to you? does comfort not come in the voice of someone you know? ) how terrible she does not know the dragon, but it makes sense to her. gaze traipses to maekara's desperation, and the ancient tongue falls upon her as a terrible burden, a piece of the keep falling after them into the bay. “ helvis would not. what is this i'm hearing of stags being as traitorous as the lions? is it so the lions do not eat them? a dragon devours both. ” the laugh boils up. unbidden and feverish, bursting from her without any shred of mirth. the kingsguard should be standing there so she might call upon them to draw their swords. to uprise and cause mutiny. perhaps only maekara shall ever see this of her. “ as you should. as you should never stand for, ever. i will always be proud of you, maekara. i will trust you to do as our family sees fit. fire and blood. ” her body lurches, almost of its own accord, the fever returning to her temples, but she holds maekara fast, so that she might not be harmed even by this. even by reaching for what isn't there, and for viserra to be rid of jorah? “ do describe to me how you've done it. what you've seen. ” a most lovely story to be told with no fear of it becoming lies. surely nothing will be omitted from her now.