Itâs kind of difficult to explain. Like, the words for âI love youâ are so uncomfortably formal, in a sense. It doesnât roll out of the mouth in the slightest.Â
Linguistics isnât my fortĂŠ, but Iâll try to expand on this;Â
Words really do have more meaning and weight in Finnish than they do in English. Finnish words are precise to another level. You mean exactly what you say. There are no take-backs. Â
I am not kidding. There are synonyms, but even synonyms come with heavy connotation on what the tone of a word is. There are words that come with decades worth of baggage for you to even begin to understand how deeply ingrained their meanings are. We are talking almost N-word levels of ingrained meaning and connotation. When a newspaper journalist makes a mistake and tries to do a take-back, you could never sound as fake is it sounds to a Finnish speaker. You know exactly what you said and meant.Â
Though we often say that âFinnish is spoken as it is writtenâ, we mean pronunciation. No one speaks written Finnish. Why? Because written Finnish is extremely formal and rigid.Â
There are vast differences between the spoken and written variants of Finnish. Written Finnish is the standardized, default written format of Finnish. Most published books, like those in school and in shelves are written in that format. That way every Finnish-speaker can understand, even though most dialects can be understood by everyone regardless. Itâs the one we are taught in school.
Written language was sort of developed separately from the spoken language, and that shows. It doesnât quite behave like the spoken language. Spoken Finnish often drops entire words, syllables, vowels, you name it. Meaning and direction of conversation is provided by the speaker and what is spoken, many things can be left unsaid. Thatâs partly why Finnish personal pronouns are genderless. Since Finnish is an agglutinative language, words bend tremendously and allow for new, understandable words to be created on whim. A lot of dialects affect consonants and vowels, yet it still remains perfectly understandable. Figure that one out.
The way written Finnish behaves sounds incredibly odd in many cases. Written Finnish is clunky. Personal pronouns sound out of place when following the proper format. It doesnât allow for letters or words to drop. The order of words also seems very stiff when compared to the spoken language. It has some inconsistencies. Very business-y. Because of that, itâs usage is strictly on non-spoken formats. Hence itâs specifically called the written Finnish. No one talks written Finnish.
To perhaps illustrate how rigid written Finnish is, news are read either in local dialect or in plain Finnish (selkosuomi). Itâs our languageâs equivalent of plain English. Itâs on the formal end, but you can actually speak it and not sound like an alien invader. Trust me, weâll know.
The best way to compare this is if an English-speaking native heard Middle-English. That is how different the tones and verbs behave and sound between spoken and written Finnish.
No one talks like that. I cannot re-iterate that enough. Itâs very grating to the ears. Personally, I find Finnish audio-books unpleasant to listen to for that same reason written Finnish is not spoken.
So now that you know these two basic concepts of Finnish language, I can explain why we donât say âI love youâ.
Saying âI love youâ in Finnish sounds weird, because âMinä rakastan sinuaâ is written Finnish.Â
No one speaks written Finnish.
Itâs not meant to be said. Â
Therefore, the words for âI love youâ are never spoken in that particular format.Â
Even though that is the literal translation, it sounds like âIt is I that loves youâ. The nearest you might hear is where you drop the âIâ from âI love youâ, which, actually, still translates to âI love youâ, because of how Finnish verbs and conjugation works. âRakastan sinuaâ instead of âMinä rakastan sinuaâ sounds better, because it drops the formal âIâ, bringing it a little closer to a spoken format. The word âyouâ, âsinuaâ is still in itâs formal version here, but since that is something you cannot exclude, you have to say âRakastan sinuaâ or resort to a spoken variant of âyouâ, so it becomes âRakastan suaâ. To which one would reply the equivalent of âSo do Iâ or âI too (love) youâ âMinäkin (rakastan) sinuaâ, where the word âloveâ can be dropped out because the meaning is carried from the previous sentence.Â
However, Itâs still rarer to use.
Instead of âI love youâ, we usually say that âYou are lovedâ or âyou are dear (to my heart)â, âolet rakasâ, because thatâs how our language and culture works.Â
English does not have words for ârakasâ that could bring the heart-felt implications like Finnish does. Connotation is everything. Closest you can translate to is âdearâ but itâs a very hollow in comparison to ârakasâ. It comes with heavy romantic, endearing and sickly sweet connotations. Thatâs why itâs often supplemented with additional words if you donât mean it as a declaration of undying romantic love. But the heaviness still remains.
Like, if a friend calls me ârakas ystäväâ, âa dear/loved friendâ, that is a huge fucking deal. The implications of that level of endearment means that itâs ride or die.
By all means, when a Finnish person says that they love you, it means a hell of a lot more than it does in English. Personally, I find the heaviness of those words intimidating, in a sense.Â
Itâs like a declaration of war but with roses and cuddles.Â
Finnish is like a heavy, carved boulder. You move it only with precise intention. English is like conveniently small pebbles, easy to throw around all willy-nilly. Effortless. You canât take âI love youâ back, but it sounds lighter and gets the meaning across. Me saying that in Finnish takes years of careful planning, support structures, proper tones and a future intent. Itâs almost more accurate to say that in Finnish, you carve a whole new boulder for every single person you say it to. Hence, you usually donât say it.
Itâs also a cultural thing. Iâm under the impression that Japanese words and meanings for âI love youâ are also very complex for English speakers, due to linguistic and cultural differences.Â
There are many ways to tell someone that you love, care and cherish them, ranging from platonic to romantic, we just donât say it in the same clear-cut format as English speakers do.Â
And to us, love is more about âshow, donât tell.â
-R