heart don't fail me now

“Hey! You know this CD isn’t so bad. I mean if you’re into the Alanis Morissette-y alternative, dark, like brooding, I-never-go-out-into-the-sunshine-and-my-life’s-a-miserable-black-hole-of-depression kinda thing, then you’d think it stinks.”

“You use scented soap, huh?”

“Wow, evil and smart.”

“Embrace it. Fear it.”

“See, this is one of the reasons that me and you aren’t friends. ‘Cause I never have any idea what you’re talking about.”

“I actually feel my brain turning into goo.”

“Wait a minute. Now, you actually think that I’m jealous of him?”

“See? What do you mean you and I have trouble communicating, bro?”

“this is what dreams are made of”

“I’ve got somewhere I belong, I’ve got somebody to love…”

“How many ___’s does it take to screw in a light bulb? Hmmm, I don’t know, but it only takes one to screw up a graduation.”

“All right, tell me what you know that I don’t.”

“I think we need to eat more spaghetti.”

“When are we going to eat spaghetti?”

“So what? You’ve never had spaghetti for breakfast before?”

“So I suppose you’ve never had a spaghetti sandwich before?”

“______, you are an outfit repeater!”

“Why does everyone always look at me like that?”

“Did no one read the info packets?”

“when did you become an expert on award show thingies?”

“I’d eat carbs if an Itallian boy bought them for me!”

“Yeah what is he/she? 5′1″, 5′2″ max?”

“I’m like, physically incapable of sneaking.”

“I could never sing in front of an audience. I don’t even let my mom hear me in the shower.”

“ you’re a masterpiece ”

“ i could just eat you up ”

“ you’re the most beautiful thing i’ve ever seen ”

“ just let me look at you ”

“ do you realize how perfect you are ? ”

“ you are a work of art ”

“ you deserve to be treated like a prince/princess ”

“ i love everything about you ”

“ you are my world ”

“ perfection… ”

“ do you believe me when i say you’re beautiful ? ”

“ i love these lips ”

“ i could stare at you all day ”

“ you are my everything ”

“ you’re an angel ”

“ you’re mine ”

“ tell me i’m yours ”

“ let me make you feel good ”

“ i want you so bad ”

“ how bad do you want me ? ”

“ don’t hide from me ”

Feel free to change pronouns or anything else !

“That’s what I have to come home to.”

“Why’d you do it?”

“I sing in the shower.”

“I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious.”

“You don’t know me. You’ve just seen my penis.”

“His name is Garbage.”

“I am pregnant.”

“I miss you.”

“I just want to be friends. Plus a little extra. Also, I love you.”

“Now I have a beard.”

“I’m so much better than you are.”

“I am better than you have ever been or ever will be.”

“I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t concentrate…and…food had no taste.”

“Running away from your problems won’t solve anything.”

“You are not creative.”

“I don’t need fresh air because I have the freshest air around: AC.”

“Can we talk off the record? As friends?”

“What do you want to do for dinner?”

“I have a lot of questions. Number one: how dare you?”

“If I’m dead, you guys have been dead for weeks.”

“They seem very happy. I hope nothing horrible ever happens to them.”

“Did I stutter?”

“You’re so white.”

“Do it. Give me control.”

“I don’t understand why you keep picking on me.”

“You sound sexy.”

“I’ll kill you.”

“You’re not the dad.”

“You cheated on me when I specifically asked you not to?”

“I did not cheat on you.”

“Math is hard.”

“If a baby were president, there would be no taxes. There would be no war. There would be no government.”

“Someone let the air out of your tires.”

“She stuck her nose into my business and tried to help me.”

“I’m not strong! I’ll go back to [her], and I hate [her]!”

“You’re an idiot.”

“Get a friend, loser!”

“Just tell me what happened.”

“Are you drunk?”

“We’ll discuss it later, naked.”

“I want to see you naked.”

“NO, GOD! NO, GOD, PLEASE NO! NO! NO! NOOOOO!”

“Do you wanna do that? Do you wanna hit me? Do you wanna punch me?”

“Check out the ass.”

“My wishes never come true.”

“I need to talk to you in private.”

“Sometimes, I’ll start a sentence, and I don’t even know where it’s going. I just hope I find it along the way.”

“You don’t know how to take care of her! All you do is dress fancy and sing!”

“STAY CALM!”

“I’m going to die.”

“Are you trying to hurt my feelings? Because if so, you are succeeding.”

“She left me.”

“I quit.”

“You have no idea how high I can fly.”

“What am I gonna do?”

“I can’t do this. This is pathetic, isn’t it?”

“I am such an idiot.”

“I have egg in my crocs.”

“I feel weak today.”

“I think you should get dressed.”

“I’m not getting dressed.”

“Everyone deserves a second second chance.”

“When I look in the mirror, I don’t like the face that looks back.”

“I just won an art contest!”

“Son of a bitch!”

“You can go to hell.”

“Do you want me to beat him up for you?”