Let's Put The X in Sex

https://archiveofourown.org/works/30222081/chapters/132445405?view_adult=true

Hellooooo. I know it's been centuries, but I decided it would be a good time to actually answer this particular question. In short, real life happened x) I used to write mostly while I was in high school as I wanted to practice my creative writing and I actually had the time to do it, so I would write fics, as music is the thing closest to me that I can write about and that people do read about. It did help me build up my writing skills a lot, too bad I barely ever use them at this point lol Nowadays I've got too much stuff going on and can't really spare the time to take requests, seeing as I barely do any writing of my own will. I don't want to put an end to this blog, I don't mean to say that I'll never post again, I might still get a good idea to turn into a fic one day. Who knows, I might even have enough time on my hands to take requests again - never say never, you know. I also keep it around because I know people do enjoy the stuff on it, people still keep discovering it even now, years later after its creation and I am so happy that this experimental monster of mine has made a lasting impression on people. Thank you all for the support, I am so grateful for it. This is not farewell, even though I can make no promises. Take care y'all, I appreciate you all so much! ❤️

! Smut Warning !

               The time for Kvarforth to return for the second part of the tour had come. The next morning he had to travel back to Sweden. Now he was lying in the arms of Abigail after some really wild and rough sex, soaked with blood. At least Abigail was one of the few to actually enjoy this fetish of his and he appreciated it.

"What's your plan after I leave?" Niklas asked and there was a little tone of grief in his voice.

"The same as before. I will do my strip dancing whenever I am called and during my free time I will enjoy the rest of the life I have to live." Abigail replied blankly.

"Do you really want it to end this way? Didn't we go through enough?" Niklas raised his voice with disappointment. It was his last chance to act, so he couldn't miss it for the world. There was confusion written on Abigail's innocent face. She was about to say something, but he cut her off. "I don't want you to spend the rest of your days stripping in front of some men you don't even know. If you're going to strip for anybody, that's going to be me. I have an offer for you and I'm not leaving until you accept it. I want you to spend the rest of your days remaining with me."

"Niklas, do you even hear what you're saying? You're scaring me. You did take your pills, right?" The girl slightly pulled away from him frightendly.

"At least now don't treat me like a sick man - now when I am for once being straightforward with you. And please be kind enough not to throw this in my face. But I really want you beside me for as long as it's possible. I won't be able to take it if some day someone calls me to tell me you're dead and I haven't had the chance to tell you last goodbye." Niklas was being torn apart between his ego and his need for her, but in the end what would his ego mean if he didn't have her?

"Nik, I can't just leave my job..." Abigail looked at him regretfully.  She couldn't believe he had actually found the courage to show her in one way or another that she was important to him.

"You keep doing so much for me. Let me do something for you while I still can. You won't need a job if you're with me."

"That's the problem. I want to take care of my own self."

"For fuck' sake, Abigail! Can't you swallow this pride of yours just for a while?"

"It's not only about pride, Niklas. It's about being a burden."

"You're so not a burden for me, but if you so much desire to work, I can find you something at Shining to work for. Just say you'll come with me." Niklas almost begged. He found himself being able to let go of his pride, otherwise the cost would be her. Abigail looked at him pitifully, wondering if he is to be trusted. On further consideration, he had never let her down and she had actually enjoyed spending time with him. She didn't want to rot all alone for the short time she had to walk the earth and he seemed like the perfect partner for her. Unstable partner, but still someone who could handle her ways.

"Alright then, I'll come with you. I'll quit work tomorrow morning." The girl agreed with mixed feelings. She still didn't know what to think of this new Niklas that appeared to her and seemed to be a real opposite of himself.

"There's something else. The thought of it was killing me even in my sleep, but I thought about it a lot and decided it couldn't be that bad after all. The thing is, Abigail, why don't we have a child together?" Niklas asked stuttering. That really scared Abigail and she jumped out of bed. Niklas wasn’t any less scared of the thought, but it was a risk he was willing to take for something to remember her by and this something to keep him sane when she is gone.

"Niklas, you really are scaring me. You don't want children, remember?" She squealed with the look of a frightened rabbit on her face.

"Could you listen to me, Abigail?" The man barked through his clenched teeth, but came back to his senses and exhaled deeply, hoping he hadn't scared her too much already. He also rolled out of bed and took the girl in his arms. He laid her down on the bed and hovered over her, only lips away from hers. "I had this talk with Christian and he might be young, but he gave me an idea, which I never thought I would approve. He thinks that we should have a child. This way you wouldn't have lived in vain and I would have something worth living another day for, because it would be like a gift from you." Niklas spoke with a gentle and caring tone as he ran his fingers through her hair soothingly. "Haven't you ever thought about having a child?"

"Well, I guess but..." Abigail stuttered confusedly. It was all getting too much, but Niklas was actually making a point. "What if I die during the pregnancy?" Her eyes teared up at the thought of the possibility.

"At least we would have tried, knowing we did it for each other. Why don't we do it now?" Niklas' voice suddenly turned seductive and his right hand caressed her bare left thigh. "The sooner the better."

"Let's risk it now or never then." Abigail whispered and pulled him in for a kiss. She now felt more attached to him than ever. Actually, she had never been so attached to anyone. She wrapped her arms tightly around him and deepened the kiss. He moaned as he lowered his body on hers. Without waiting for an invitation, he took his member in his hand and slowly pushed it inside her. This time Abigail felt it more intense than she had felt it before. Sure, it was only sex before and no matter how hot and wild it was, it never felt as intense as this time. This time there was something else to it. "Niklas!" Abigail moaned as she felt him stretching her deeply. She took his face in her hands and kissed him passionately. Niklas moved in and out of her slowly.

"Oh, yes!" Kvarforth moaned as the girl scratched his back with her nails, drawing blood. Of course, this put a perverse smirk on his face and it turned him on even more. He slipped his tongue in her mouth again and gave her one of those kisses that made her moan like a school girl. Abigail bravely gripped his ass and smirked as this earned her a moan from him. Niklas felt the burning need to finally cum, so he picked up his pace to his usual insane speed. He buried his face in her neck and concentrated on reaching his orgasm.

"Are you going to cum for me, huh?" Abigail teased as she licked his earlobe. The only response she got was a loud groan. "Come on, Niklas. Cum inside me!" She encouraged him. Niklas gripped the sheets tightly as he froze and his mouth formed the shape of an "o". He made a few last thrusts in and out of her and laid his body down on her lifelessly.

"That's right, baby." Abigail whispered soothingly as she was caressing his back. The crucial moment had passed and now only time could tell if it was meant to be or not.

Niklas was back on tour and even though the road made him hateful and grumpy again, he was happy to have Abigail by his side. They were staying at a hotel and Abigail decided to take a pregnancy test. The test was positive and this brought tears to her eyes. She didn't know if those were tears of happiness or disappointment. She didn't know if she regretted her decision for the simple reason she wasn't sure if she was ready to be a mother, but she didn’t really have the luxury to wait in vain.

"Two red lines." Abigail announced blankly as she stared at the test, thinking Niklas was alone in the room. She lift her eyes up just to see Christian sitting beside him. "Oops."

"Congratulations then." Christian smiled.

"I don't know how I feel about that. I don't know if I'm happy or if I hate either you or myself." Niklas noted, turning to Christian.

"Hate me all you want, but I'm pretty sure you'll be thankful one day." The younger man stated cold-bloodedly.

"Niklas, come on, man. You've got an interview booked, remember?" Peter peeked through the door impatiently. Niklas sighed and threw his head back in frustration.

"Life is beautiful." He said sarcastically and with disgust as he rose to his feet. He ran a hand through Abigail's blood red hair and walked out of the room, leaving her alone with Christian.

"Ready to be a mother?" Christian teased.

"I don't know if I'll live to be a mother. In fact, I could die right here, right now and Niklas' baby would never see the light of day."

"Don't be like that. Those dark thoughts are like his, not like yours."

"I'm scared."

"You? You are never scared. You lived through a whole month with a mentally ill man who throws knives at you."

"A mentally ill man, who was almost nothing like he usually is. As I said some time ago he was really behaving and definitely wasn't that much of an asshole, which made me love the sick fuck even more." Abigail admitted with a confused smile.

"Love him? It must be difficult loving such a complicated person like Niklas Kvarforth himself." Christian replied a little blankly, as the key word the girl used cut him with a knife a little below the heart.

"It is. But you must know what it's like, since you seem to look up to him."

"I do. I still do, even though I've been in the way of fire many times. I guess it's about accepting him the way he is. Then it's easier living with him. I'm glad he seems more stable and much healthier than some time before."

"How do you feel about the idea you gave him, now that it's a fact?" Abigail asked curiously.

"I've got mixed feelings, just like both of you. Not in a bad way, it's just that it was just another shot that I willingly sent into the enemy's field, but I did it for both of you. Whether you liked my advice or not, that's both of yours' business. You’ve taken it anyway, so it’s late for regrets."

"Since I know stuff and I have noticed them and understand what you meant, I'm going to be straightforward with you. I'm not sure if it would have ever worked between us Chris. It's not that you're not my type or something. You're a cute, handsome, talented young man, but I guess my fuck up-ness matches that of Niklas. No matter how often you remind him that he is crazy, you too are in your own way and everybody appreciates that. I appreciate what you told him, despite it working against yourself."

"You don't need to explain, Abigail. I might be young, but I understand. As long as you keep Niklas running, I'm ok with everything."

"That's an honest thing to say." Abigail smiled.

"Don't worry about the motherhood thing. Whether he likes it or not, Niklas will help. And you'll definitely be a MILF." He smirked.

"That's encouraging, thank you." The girl giggled. "Now we drink!" She announced victoriously as she sharply rose to her feet.

"Now..." Christian also rose to his feet, standing at least a head above her. "We drink and you don't, because it's dangerous for the baby." He crossed his arms.

"That really turns the scales down, you know."

"It's a responsibility."

"Well, I'll give you a responsibility, alright."

"Don't get me wrong, I'll miss the drunk you too." The blond man snickered.

"You want something to remind you of the drunk me?" The girl said challengingly.

"How is that even a question?" He shrugged. Abigail grabbed him softly by the jaw and slipped her tongue in his mouth, kissing him deeply. "That's it. Unless you're in luck and Kvarforth is feeling kinky some time again."

Taking care of the unborn one wasn't an easy job, keeping in mind who its father was. Abigail often was about to give up, which brought her to her beloved bottle of whiskey. That would usually happen when Niklas' mood was such, that he regretted wanting a child. If he had been more aggressive with his words, Abigail would run for the bottle, as she was being sensitive for the first time in her life because of the pregnancy. This reaction of hers would make him soften up a little and he would make her drop the bottle. The rest of the guys from Shining made sure he behaved more than ever, as he could threaten two lives at once with his controversial behavior. Those were nine heavy months, but the crucial day was finally close.

Abigail was sent to the hospital for finally being in labor. She had never been so scared before. Niklas was in the studio with the guys when he received a call from the hospital. The moment he found out what the deal is, he got all tensed up and worried. The day had finally come. The guys wanted to be present too, besides they had to watch over him, as if he was a criminal.

"You're a soldier, you can do it!" Niklas encouraged his girl the only way he could as he was holding her hand.

"It hurts so bad!" Abigail screamed in pain at the top of her lungs.

"You have to breathe!" The nurse encouraged her.

"It hurts!" Abigail cried again.

"Now push!" The nurse commanded.

"I can't do this!" She cried as she gripped Niklas' hand tightly.

"Oh yes, you can!" Niklas said tensely through his clenched teeth. After all the difficulties, a healthy little girl was born. The crew showered the baby and gave it to it's mother.

"What do you want to name it, Niklas?" Abigail asked lifelessly as she took the little human she had suffered so much for in her hands.

"I want to name her after you - Abigail." Kvarforth stated. He had a confused smile on his face.

"Abigail it is then." The woman smiled as she looked down on her newborn daughter.

"Are you supposed to breastfeed her now?" Niklas smirked.

"Kvarforth!" Abigail's jaw dropped in surprise and disappointment.

They had to spend one night at the hospital. Niklas had to stay with Abigail, so the rest of the guys decided to stay with him. They were out in the corridor, drinking coffee, while he was sitting on a chair and watching Abigail sleep. He admired her silently. Suddenly, she opened her eyes and in them Niklas saw pain.

"Niklas..." The woman whispered as she looked at him with tortured eyes and she exhaled.

"Abigail?" Niklas said confusedly. When he didn't get an answer he panicked. He quickly rose to his feet and hovered over her. "Oh no, you can't fucking leave me right now!" He shook his head as he noticed she wasn't breathing. He tried a mouth to mouth breathing, but no matter how hard he tried it wouldn't work. "Abigail!" He screamed in his panic and the guys peeked through the door. "Find a doctor right now!" He ordered angrily and a minute later the doctor showed up with a nurse.

"What is going on?" The doctor asked, hovering over the lifeless woman.

"She's not breathing. I tried!" Niklas hissed through his teeth as he stepped back next to the guys. The doctor did what he could, but it was too late.

"I am sorry." The doctor exhaled as he stepped away.

"No, no, no!" Kvarforth shook his head in disbelief as he took the lifeless girl's face in his hands. "Abigail!" He screamed angrily in pain at the top of his lungs. First his mother not so long ago and now the only person in the world that he could say he loved. Both gone.

Needless to say, Niklas turned as dark as he was once. No light in the end of the tunnel, only two little candles - the memory of his dead Abigail and the little Abigail that had only him. At the funeral he got both drunk and high, but after getting a punch in the face from one of the guys, he came to his senses and realized he's got responsibilities as a father.

The only people attending the funeral were the prostitutes that had once sheltered her, the guys from Shining and the few stripper friends she had. Her parents weren't invited, because Niklas knew Abigail would rise from the dead simply to spit in their faces if they showed up. Yeah, he wished. After the funeral, the five of the guys were sitting in their official suits with glasses of whiskey in their hands and no sound could be heard.

"Now what?" Christian ruined the silence.

"The same old song with a new voice. Pain. All over again. But you were right, Chris." Niklas, the sick fuck, leaned back and ruffled the younger man's golden hair. "If it wasn't for sweet, little, helpless Abigail, who has nobody else but me, now I'd be dead-drunk, high as fuck and covered in prostitutes. Or the strippers that came to the funeral. Life goes on as painful as ever. If nothing else, then at least I'll have enough of inspiration to write enough material for two albums." He said blankly as he rested his elbows on his thighs and took a sip of his whiskey.

Sure, life went on, but everything was tasteless. The whiskey, the blood, the pain and suffering of others - none of his weaknesses could satisfy him anymore. Only the little Abigail was making him smile now and then. He promised upon her mother's grave to be a good father and he did his best, but without her guidance it still didn't seem enough, even though the little girl seemed to be feeling fine. He never thought he would suffer over something "as replacable as a woman" as he liked to say and yet there he was - suffering over a woman. An irreplaceable woman.

"No pleasure can be liken to you

And no conquer can be equated to you

No euphoria can be compared to you

And no love can ever replace you

 Because without me you're nothing, you're nothing

And without you I'm nothing

At the end of the second week, Abigail got an unexpected phone call. It was Christian. She answered the call with a puzzled look on her face.

“Christian?”

“Hello, Abigail. Is it a good time to talk?” Christian answered from the other side. She had already almost forgotten the sound of his voice. Actually, the sound of whoever’s voice, except that of Niklas.

“Yeah, sure. Niklas just got in the shower, so there’s no danger of him freaking out.” She said as she moved into a room as far away from the bathroom as possible.

“I’m starting to miss that fucked up bastard. In fact, I called to see if it’s possible to come over and see him some time, as long as you’re not on the other end of the world, of course.”

“Sure, why not? He might freak out a bit at first, but as long as your visit is already a fact there’s not much he can do about it. I’ll just keep it a secret until you have arrived.”

“Thanks, Abigail. Is he holding on?”

“Yeah, I keep him running. He seems better. He ran out of drugs and I put a limit on his alcohol, so he’s actually being a sweetheart as of recent.”

“Well, that’s strange to hear. And what about you? Are you holding on?  It’s hard keeping a clean mind around Niklas, especially for someone as tiny as you.”

“I’m not as tiny as you think, Chris. Besides, if my observations are correct, I – the squishy little girl, have been handling the hate machine much better than all of you guys taken together, despite being big grown men.” Abigail said ironically.

“Can’t say it’s a lie.”

“Indeed. I’ll send you the address. You just tell me when can I expect you.”

“Some time tomorrow. I just don’t know when I’ll leave and how far you guys are.”

“Not that far, but far enough.”

“Alright. Then I’ll see you guys tomorrow, hopefully. Take care, Abigail.”

“You take care too, pretty face.” She closed the call and just a few seconds later the door opened to reveal an almost naked and wet Kvarforth in only a bathroom towel around his waist. She was caught a little off-guard, but quickly came back to her senses – one of her strong sides.

“I heard you talking on the phone. Who was it?” Niklas asked lightly.

“Wrong number. The guy was searching for some Betty. I spent five minutes explaining there’s no Betty here.”

“If you’re done explaining there’s no Betty here, how about you come and explain some stuff to me in bed?” Niklas put on his signature perverted smirk on and put his hands on Abigail’s ass.

“Feeling playful, aren’t we? You just came out of the shower.”

“Indeed. I need someone to preserve the heat, otherwise I could get cold.” He said false-dramatically and winked.

“You never get enough, do you?”

“It makes a good replacement for the drugs.” Kvarforth whispered in her ear and licked her earlobe slowly.

               The next day Niklas had just come back from his new job and as usually, he required for Abigail to be dressed in latex and on high heels. They were just messing around in bed when the doorbell rang. Abigail suspected it could be Christian, so she thanked herself for not taking off her clothes yet.

“Who the fuck could it be?” Niklas whined at the sound of the doorbell.

“I’ll go see, you just stay here.” Abigail quickly pecked his lips. She rolled out of bed and picked up a black shirt of his, which was lying on the ground. On further consideration, Christian had caught them naked not only once, so she didn’t mind being seen like that. She ran to the door as fast as her insane heels allowed and opened the door just to find Christian standing there with hands in his pockets, as expected.

“Whoa.” He smirked at the sight. “If I’m in the middle of something I can wait.”

“Just a minute later and you would have been in the middle of something. It’s just…Niklas’ dirty fetishes. Those heels are killing me, I don’t recommend them.”

“Never really considered putting them on.” The blond man snickered. “How’s the battle beast doing?”

“Well, he just came back from work and now he wants his part, obviously.”

“Work? You managed to make him get a job?” The young man’s jaw almost dropped to the ground.

“Yeah, well, I can be very convincing. Come in, let’s surprise the hate machine. And if you’re a faint of heart, he could be naked, so my apologies.”

“It wouldn’t be a first.” He said as he followed the girl inside.

“We have got a guest, sweetness.” Abigail announced with her hands on her hips as she entered the bedroom.

“What the…?” Niklas started with surprise. “So it was you who cock-blocked me?” He laughed.

“Didn’t mean to ruin your business.” Christian smirked.

“This is a set-up, isn’t it? You told him where we are.” The singer pointed his finger at the girl.

“He is your friend, Niklas. He wanted to see you. Don’t you appreciate that? Besides, I’m sure he hasn’t and won’t tell anybody. Right, Chris?” Abigail defended him and he shook his head.

“You know how much I hate you, right?” Kvarforth gave the girl a corner smile.

“Well, I don’t remember saying how much I love you as well, so it doesn’t bother me. I guess it’s mutual.” She crossed her arms and lift her chin up proudly.

“You’re irreplaceable.” Niklas shook his head with a smile.

“I’ll let you boys have a chat. Anything to drink?”

“A coffee with whiskey without the coffee for me.” Christian replied.

“Same for me.” Niklas snickered as he put on his boxers. Abigail smirked.

“So it is. And by the way, keep your eyes open, pretty face. He likes putting his hands in places.” The girl winked.

“I’m aware of that.” Christian assured her and she walked out of the room.

“So, did you start missing me a lot already?” Niklas smirked.

“I wanted to make sure that you’re still alive. And that she is still alive.”

“She’s taking good care of me. I, on the other hand, think I’m being really unthankful, even though I try to do things to make her happy. I wouldn’t hurt her, if that’s what you’re implying.”

“I’m implying that you’re an unpredictable motherfucker, especially with women.” The door opened and both of the men shut up.

“There’s your whiskey, gents. I’m leaving you.” She passed them two glasses and a whole bottle of whiskey and walked out again.

“Isn’t that a good woman? Brings you a full bottle of whiskey in her latex costume and high heels? You shouldn’t worry about her. She’s her own man. I don’t know any more if I’m the one playing with her or if she’s the one playing with me. It all started with just sex and now I’m here in her home, depending on her…vulnerable…”

“You’re never vulnerable, unless it’s the drugs laid on the table. You just realize that she is actually bringing you to a better place.”

“She is like a light in the end of the tunnel…a dark tunnel…and my tunnel is very dark, kid. I know it sounds strange coming from me, but I would be lost in my own tunnel if it wasn’t her ray of light. I don’t even know if I’m in love with her or if she’s just my baby sitter that I like a lot, but she gives me everything I need. She gives me the hate and pain I need and at the same time she appears to love me just the same. She hates me just as much as she finds me to be a weakness of hers. I don’t even know if she would love me back or if she is simply satisfying her own twisted needs. She told me everything about her life, Chris. She is dying and she is just living the life she never had. I guess I just fit in her own twisted world. Maybe she just enjoys taking care of me because I’m as sick as she is. I don’t even know how sick she is, she is so silent. She treats me like the trash I am, yet she tries to fix me and somehow this is precisely what I need.” Kvarforth explained calmly, but maniacally as if he couldn’t understand his own thoughts.

“I don’t know how much of these are ramblings of your insanity or not, but I don’t really believe my ears right now.”

“I can’t believe my own self that I am saying all of this, but I do mean it. She did turn out to be one of the few that are actually worth my time. She is worth even more.”

“She really is a gem. Just be careful not to scratch its’ smooth surface. Is she really dying?”

“She said so. And if that’s true, I can’t bear the thought that someday I will find her lying on the floor and that would be the end of her. That would be the end of my salvation as well, since nobody so far has managed to pull me out of the mud. Without her, I will sink in completely.”

“Why don’t you get over your ego and tell her everything you told me? You don’t know how much time you have to spend with her. Would you rather she finds out what you really feel for her or send her into the grave with the memory of you being a stuck-up prideful prick?”

“Even if I do, what would that change? That won’t delay her death.”

“No, it won’t, but you reap what you’ve sown. If you tell her what you feel she will too and this will make things much easier for both of you. And I know it might sound like a terrible idea to you, but why don’t you make her a child?” Christian offered and Niklas was left speechless.

“Kid, you know I hate life and I destroy it. I don’t create it!” The singer answered regretfully.

“Just listen to my point, if you please. This way you will have a memory of her to keep you going. Knowing that something important depends on you, this will get you through the day. This way it will be like you’re looking after her in the body of someone else. Besides, it would be a waste to the world if she dies without reproducing.” Chris smiled.

“You like her, don’t you?” Niklas’ raspy voice echoed in the room with this perverse tone of his in it. “I can’t blame you if you do. I mean, look at her, who wouldn’t.”

“That’s not the point here. I’m not taking her away from you, but that’s why I wish you could give her what she wants until she can still enjoy it. That’s the least you owe her for putting up with you.” Christian replied a little disturbed.

“If my senses are correct, she already has it. She is strong enough to get whatever she wants. She went out and took it. Otherwise she wouldn’t be sitting so peacefully here with me every day.” The smirk of perversion crawled across the older man’s lips again.

“I sincerely hope so.” The door opened and Abigail stormed in with an empty glass.

“May I have some whiskey? Thank you.” She grabbed the bottle without waiting for an approval and filled up her glass. Niklas looked down on her with some mysterious smile.

“Hey, Abigail, why don’t you join us?” He invited her as she had already turned her back.

“And sit quietly in a corner while you two are talking business? No, thank you, I’d rather clean the whole house, while walking in those fucking heels.” She replied calmly.

“Oh, come on. We won’t talk business.” He begged with a smile and patted a space between him and Christian. She put a finger on her chin thoughtfully and exhaled.

“On the other hand there’s whiskey here, so why not.” She raised her hands and jumped on the empty space between them. “You haven’t ran away from us yet, Christian?” She flipped his blond hair back with the back of her hand.

“Are you drunk already?” The blond man asked timidly with suspicion.

“Of course not! Okay, seriously, why do you think I came to abuse your whiskey if there was something left of my own?” Abigail laughed drunkenly.

               Later that evening, the three of them were quite drunk, so they were only lying lifelessly on the bed and laughing at the nonsense that they were speaking. Suddenly, Niklas’ drunken voice pierced the short silence that had fallen upon the room.

“Hey, Abigail. I dare you to kiss Christian.” He announced and you could hear the perversion in his voice. Even drunk, Abigail questioned his motives.

“I don’t know what games you are playing, but I’m not playing along.” Abigail protested drunkenly as she propped up herself on her hands to look at Niklas.

“Just. Do it.” Kvarforth repeated and his tone would take no refusal.

“Oh, whatever, you fucking pervert.” The girl rolled over and straddled the confused young man. "Let's just give the pervert what he wants." She muttered as she lowered her lips to his. Of course, if that was Kvarforth's wish, then the younger man wouldn't even question it. She slowly slipped her tongue in his mouth and kissed him deeply.

"Slower." Niklas smirked devilishly as he looked closely. Abigail glared at him as she slowed down the pace of her tongue.

"Like that, you perv?" She hissed, looking at him one more time as the blond man writhed under her. She kissed Christian slowly and passionately again, earning a slight moan from him. "You like watching us kissing, don't you?" She teased and locked her lips with Christian's for the last time. "You liked that, you sick bastard?" She looked at Kvarforth as she pulled away and he had the typical devilish grin written on his face.

"Ask the kid." Niklas smirked and Abigail turned her sight back to the younger man.

"You can't imagine. I just hope I remember in the morning." He replied without waiting for the question and his eyes sparked. The girl chuckled.

In the morning the three of them woke up in the same bed. They hadn't moved from there at all and eventually had fallen asleep that way. Abigail was sleeping on her face between the two of them. She woke up first and looked at the men sleeping on both of her sides silently.

"And if that's not paradise..." She muttered to herself with a smirk. She woke both of them up and they whined sleepily.

"Damned be I." Niklas cursed.

"Hey, we didn't do anything, did we?" The girl asked a little scared. Not that she would mind a three-some with those two, but she'd rather it be in a sober state. However, Kvarforth wouldn't ever let this happen, unless he is in last night's perverted mood.

"Nah, we've still got our clothes on." Christian finally spoke. "And good news. Despite all the whiskey, I still remember the kissing session." He smiled.

"Oh, no." The girl exhaled ashamedly. "I should have taken the advantage of your drunk state and made you two kiss."

"You'll see that again pretty soon on stage. Am I right, you sick fuck?" Christian turned to Niklas.

"Pretty much." The singer chuckled. "God dammit, I couldn't even jack-off to this last night."

"First world problems." The bassist said ironically. "It was a lot of fun being drunk with you guys again, but I should get going." He announced and rolled off the bed.

"What's the rush? I was just planning a three-some." Niklas joked.

"Stop giving the kid false hopes." Abigail scolded him.

"Maybe some other time, if the offer is still available. Now I have to drive to work like a madman."

"Oh, I'm a working man now too. Well, not for long." Niklas stated proudly.

"I know."

"You have told him everything, haven't you? I bet you've been talking every day." Niklas put his finger up threatingly.

"Yesterday was the first and last time we talked on the phone. Don't turn into a paranoid motherfucker again." Abigail explained as she rolled out of bed. Niklas followed and they escorted Christian to the door.

"When am I seeing you sick fuckers again?" Christian asked as he put his hands in his pockets.

"In two weeks. You're welcome to come over again whenever you like, as long as you don't tell anybody where we are." Niklas explained. Abigail raised her eyebrows in surprise of his kindness. "Abigail, why don't you give the kid a kiss goodbye?" The singer tried to hide the perversion in his voice, but they could still hear a trace of it. The girl raised her shoulders as she wasn't left with much of a choice. She walked up to the blond man and kissed him deeply as she held his blond hair out of the way. "That's right." Niklas purred.

"At least in those heels I'm as tall as you." The female stated innocently.

"Why so generous all of a sudden?" Christian turned to Niklas.

"Sharing is caring, motherfucker. Seems like I'm not that much of an egotistical bastard."

"Go take your medicine." The blond chuckled as they shook hands tightly.

"See you soon, pretty face." Abigail waved him goodbye softly.

"Take care, kid." Kvarforth smirked.

"Both of you too." The bassist said and turned his back. They waited at the door as he got in the car and drove off.

"Why did you do that to him?" Abigail scolded the singer softly as she leaned her back on the door frame and her eyes traced the fading car.

"I did him a favor, because he likes you. Do you think I would share my girl with anybody so light-handedly? That's the least I could do for him to get a taste of you." Niklas smirked and put a finger under her chin.

"That's unbelievably kind of you, but don't ruin it for him. He's still 19. Don't trick him into thinking that he can have something he can't."

"I am not. I am just giving him a taste of the forbidden fruit, just like I always do, simply because I know from experience that it is the sweetest. Besides, he’s a smart man. I know I don't seem like a generous person to you, but I can be a very passionate person. Passionate about my music, about my friends..."

"Are you trying to impress me right now?" The girl smirked.

Niklas Kvarforth x OFC

               The last show from the first part of the tour was over and Niklas was shaking with impatience to get away from everyone and everything. Abigail had promised him that the very next day when they have taken a good rest, she’ll drive him away as promised. Her offer was too tempting to fuck with, that’s why Niklas behaved. After the show he went early to bed, just like a little kid who can’t wait for Christmas morning. They were sleeping in a hotel as it was the last day of the tour, so they deserved a little luxury. While Niklas was sleeping, everybody was silently talking and drinking.

“So what now? What’s the plan? It’s obvious he’s in a rush for somewhere. He doesn’t really say anything about his plans.” Peter asked curiously. Abigail exhaled.

“I promised to take him away from everyone and everything until the beginning of the next part of the tour. As long as he behaved, that is. He fulfilled the deal. I’m not sure if he’ll want you guys to know where he is, so I’ll say no more.”

“You did manage to keep him short on a leash after all. I’m sorry I doubted you.” Christian smiled.

“It’s ok. It’s not the first time people doubt me, neither will it be the last. I just hope I can keep him sane by myself for a month.”

“You can always call us if you need help taming the beast.” Shining’s long-year bodyguard offered.

“I don’t think that would be necessary, but thank you. I’ll be Niklas’ bodyguard for a while.” The girl smiled at the gesture.

               On the next day Niklas quickly put all his suitcases in the back of the car and said goodbye to his whole crew. Abigail also thanked them for everything and after the final goodbyes, she took the drivers’ seat.

“Take me away from this place.” Niklas muttered angrily and took a drag of his cigarette.

“It’s going to be a quite a ride. You’ll need some exercise for your ass after that.” Abigail chuckled and she started the engine.

               Niklas’ jaw dropped to the ground as they stood in front of the small house. The nature around was beautiful and the place was quiet. Sure, there were other houses around, but everyone else living here had chosen this place for the same reason – seclusion. Niklas even called the place “inspiring”, which earned him a giggle from Abigail.

               The singer was happy the first week. Everything was going fine and just the way he wanted it. Abigail was taking good care of him and he was happy to have her with him. However, his illness kicked in, bringing depression back again. On a sunny Monday, Abigail had gone out shopping for groceries. When she returned and didn’t find Niklas in the living room, she panicked, but quickly came back to her senses. She opened the door to the beautiful, sunny bed room, just to have a knife thrown at her. Of course, it wasn’t meant to hit her, so it just got stuck in the wall. She gasped in surprise.

“Oh, it’s you.” Niklas exhaled in relief.

“Of course it’s me. Who the fuck else could it be? What’s wrong with you?” Abigail shouted with irritation. The singer was sitting on the ground with his back to the bed. He rubbed his face with his palms and his face seemed tortured.

“Aren’t you afraid of me, Abigail, with all these knives lying around me and flying at you? How haven’t you given up on me yet? Aren’t you afraid of this sick fuck, sharing your now blood-stained bed?” The man muttered self-pityingly.

“No, I am not. I like your company. I like you the way you are. I guess you feel the same way, since you’re here with me.”

“God, you’re so full of yourself.”

“And you aren’t?”

“You only love yourself, Abigail. Is it so hard for you just to admit that you have feelings for me? You’re only in love with yourself! You’re in love with the reflection in the mirror that everybody falls for, you’re in love with the power you possess among me!” Kvarforth snapped angrily.

“I might be. Everyone has flaws. Mine seems to be vanity. I am flawed. You are flawed. Everyone is. Because we are humans and no matter flawless or not, we’re all worthless, remember? Besides, you wouldn’t judge me for my vanity if you knew what pain I have been through myself. The only pain you know is yours, Niklas. Others suffer too. And who are you to talk about feelings? If it was important to you, you would have admitted your own feelings.”

“What the fuck do you know about pain?” The man shouted, but Abigail contained her calmness.

“Do you really want to know?” Abigail knelt bravely beside him and he pulled her onto his lap.

“I’m listening.” He hissed.

“Then prepare.” She wrapped a hand around his neck and pushed him back. “Because it is story time.” She let go of his neck when she made sure he was ready to listen. “I grew up in a strongly religious family. Those same sick fucks I told you about. Do you know how they raised me? They raised me at home. I don’t know what kindergarten is, I don’t know what school is, I don’t know what college is, I didn’t know what “outside” was. They were determined that they were protecting me by not letting me out at all. They thought the world was all evil and this way they were protecting me. When I was ill, they took care of me in home. They gave me books to educate me. When I heard kids playing outside I would run to the window and watch them. At first I thought I was missing out a lot, but later I was so used to spending my time in doing house chores and reading books, that I started thinking their games were a stupid waste of time. They made me pray every night. While I was still young and vulnerable, I thought it was right to believe in God. However, when I turned fifteen I had already developed a thinking of my own about what was wrong and right. All their religious teaching seemed like a brain-washing to me, so I started ignoring it. But I wasn’t stupid as well. In their presence I was their good, obedient girl. The moment they turned their backs I was already spitting on the wooden cross hanging on the wall in my room, which I usually inverted when they were out. One day some relatives came over at home. One of them offered to my parents as a joke that they should make a model out of me with my good looks and pretty face. That angered my mother. She started envying my looks, so she cut off my hair while I was sleeping. Needless to say, this saddened me a lot and I hated myself even more. Finally, I turned eighteen. I knew this meant I can be free from all of this. While I was making tea for my parents, I put a ton of sleeping pills in it and gave it to them. This gave me time to pack my stuff and get out of home without being noticed. This is when I saw the light of day for the first time of my life. The world outside was nothing I knew about. I was lost, confused, scared and I didn’t know where to go or what to do. I simply wandered. I ended up sheltered by a bunch of whores. Literally, whores. When they found out about my life and about my zero education, they sadly told me that the only way I could make money on my own at this stage was to become a prostitute like them. I didn’t know anything at all about human connections and what’s left for having sex with people for money. I lost my virginity to some old, fat, greasy fuck who didn’t even pay me well.” The girl cried. “Even oblivious to those stuff, I knew virginity was something important. Do you know how this feels when you finally understand about all that stuff? That for girls it’s important that they lose it to somebody important, so they don’t have a bad memory of it? On with the story. Men liked me a lot, obviously, so I quickly made good money. Some old, rich guy found me and offered me to become a part of his whorehouse, where I had the potential to make better money. What choice did I have? I accepted. The women there taught me a lot of stuff. They taught me how to take care of myself and for the first time in my life I could actually look in the mirror without wanting to break it. They showed me the world of internet, where I started discovering music and found that dark music is my music. And especially all the blasphemous music that laughed at my parents’ stupid God and that’s indeed black metal. That’s how I discovered Shining and your music became an important part of my life. I also started writing and my works paid well. However, the more I discovered, the more I got depressed about my past. I started taking drugs, mostly heroin and coke to numb the pain. Many of the men I slept with were also offering me drugs. The drugs started making me look older and uglier and I got scared that I’ll start hating myself again, so with a lot of effort I finally stopped them. When I finally saved up enough money, I bought this place here in Norway and started working as a stripper. One day I was coughing up blood, so for the first time in my life I visited a doctor, just so he could tell me that I am dying. He was saying some difficult words, but I concluded that it was mostly from the drugs or at least a consequence of them. So you see now why I am so impulsive and why our paths crossed the way they did. I haven’t lived a day of my life and at 22 I am already dying, that’s why I do what I want to and I apologize to no one. Knowing all of this, don’t you dare call me vain again, since there were times when I couldn’t look myself in the mirror. Don’t you dare say I don’t know what pain and solitude is. I know solitude better than everyone, because the only friends I ever had were the whores and strippers and now you guys.” Abigail finished her story in tears. She buried her face in his neck, resting her hands on his shoulders. It was the first time he saw her cry and he felt like somebody stabbed him with a knife. If she hadn’t ever told him her story, he would have never guessed how much pain she hides, since she always seemed so happy, contained and self-assured. Niklas exhaled and wrapped his strong arms around her small body.

“And still you walk with that bright shining smile on your face, huh?” He said gently.

“Despite what people say, time heals nothing. But if you’re strong enough like me, it does get better. You think I didn’t suffer from depression after all of this? I got rid of it. It wasn’t easy, but it’s not impossible and I’m going to prove it to you.” Abigail finally calmed down and lift her head to look in his eyes.

“I appreciate everything you’re doing for me, but to me it’s not only depression. It’s my hatred for every living soul, it’s my schizophrenia…it has all buried its roots deep inside my mind. It’s like cancer. You can remove all the tumors, but there is still a small piece you have missed that starts it all over again."

“Say what you will, nothing costs me to try.”

               Despite everything, Niklas got drunk and high as fuck that same night and Abigail wasn’t happy about it. She left him sleeping alone and didn’t allow him to lay a finger on her. After trying to apologize to her again with no luck, he was once more convinced that she is relentless and that her kindness is not to be taken for granted.

“Get the fuck up, you human trash.” Abigail woke the singer up angrily the next morning by smacking his bare thigh. He hadn’t even pulled the covers over him, the ignorant bastard.

“We’re being very nice today, aren’t we?” The man muttered sleepily.

“What did you expect after last night? To get breakfast in bed and morning blow-job?”

“You’re right, you’re right.” Niklas snickered at her words as he sat up. She leaned in closer to his face and grabbed his jaw, making him look in her eyes.

“Let me tell you some painful truths. Get high as much as you want, but I doubt you have a secret drug lab lying around here, so you’ll soon be out of drugs and the last thing I’ll do for you while you’re lying in tears on the ground, crying for drugs, is to supply you with some.”

“But the faster I’m out of drugs – the better for me, right?” He grinned childishly.

“We’re learning fast, huh?” Abigail ran her tongue over his lips and stepped back, leaving him wanting more. “So what do you plan on doing for the rest of your vacation? Just lie around all day, getting drunk as fuck and being totally useless?”

“I’m liking your reverse psychology.”

“Answer the question, if you please!”

“Well, let’s just say I don’t really have a plan. I just live for the day.” Niklas replied impudently.

“Do you want me to find you a job? Just any job, a small one, so you don’t lie around the whole day doing nothing.” Abigail almost begged.

“If you lie around with me in bed all day I won’t be doing nothing all day and I will be happy.”

“Niklas…” The girl sighed hopelessly and closed her eyes.

“Alright, I’ll do it. It’s not like I’ll ever work another job. At least I’ll see what it’s like.” The singer gave up. Deep inside he knew he was doing it because of her, but why?

“It won’t be that bad, I promise.”

“I’ll be ok, as long as you wait for me here in bed all dressed in latex and with high heels on.”

“I’ll think about it. Wait, how do I trust that you won’t run away while at work?” She pointed a finger at him.

“Oh, come the fuck on! Get real, Abigail. I’m in the middle of a place I know nothing about. Where the fuck do you think I could go? Who’s being paranoid now? Don’t make me change my mind.”

On a rainy day in London, Sweet were about to hit the stage in a couple of hours, which meant even more hours spent on preparation than the actual hours spent playing on stage. The guys were supposed to drive off for the venue, but Brian wasn’t to be found anywhere. After a few minutes of looking around, Steve finally found him sitting outside, hidden from the silent rain, but still close enough to experience its cleansing cold. Steve was just about to shout his name out loud, but then something prevented him from doing so.

Something had changed; something was different compared to before. Sure, he was smoking a cigarette, typical Brian. However, Steve knew him well. Brian usually had a faint smile blooming on his thin lips while smoking, he’d often try to hide it from his face, but Steve had noticed it anyway. He always seemed to have something to smile about, while just smoking a goddamn cigarette. Now…it wasn’t there. He hadn’t even seen it soon. Where was it? The overall liveness and glow that used to radiate from the singer, even if he was doing nothing but simply smoking a cigarette, where was it now?  What else – oh yes, he would usually have a girl or two sitting in his lap and he would smile at them sweetly while they were making him compliments heard thousands of times before with the hopes of getting a piece of the action, but he would smile and appreciate them as the down-to-earth, kind guy he was. Now there wasn’t a girl in his lap, neither did he look like he missed one. And his eyes, his lively green eyes that used to sparkle, no matter what? That sparkle seems to have drowned into the sorrow that has veiled those eyes now. ‘What is wrong? What is wrong with this picture?’ Steve thought to himself in the hopes of finding the slightest hint of a smile or at least peace on the platinum blond’s face. Brian was staring into the distant mist that had embraced the city. It probably reminded him of the mist that was embracing his own self and that obviously disturbed him, since his eyebrows discovered a furrow. A furrow that seemed still so beautiful on the front man’s face, written in woe.

Steve snapped out of his daze and decided to snap Brian out of his own troubles. Liked it or not he had to disturb him, instead of leave him to his thoughts.

“Brian,” Steve shouted with no emotion to be heard in his tone, “it’s time to go.” The bassist’s voice made Brian inhale deeply and he turned to face the bassist.

“Yeah, I’ll be right with you,” Brian looked in Steve’s eyes for a moment and then his gaze dropped to the ground, obviously still deep in thought. In a matter of seconds, something clicked in Brian. His jaw tightened and his look got even colder and lifeless as he mercilessly put out his cigarette in the ashtray. He sharply rose to his knees and walked up to Steve. “Somebody’s got to put on the show,” he said with a bleak smile more to himself than to Steve and he stormed away. Steve turned around and followed the singer with his eyes as his shadow melted away. Steve was definitely puzzled. His gaze wandered to the ashtray. What was once burning wild now seems to have turned to ashes.

By Request (x)

David Lee Roth x OFC

! Smut Warning !

David was, as usually, chilling in a bar on his day off. He was drinking expensive whiskey on a Friday night and observing the life around him. Everything was a breeze until a long-legged beauty walked in. He felt himself getting hot under the collar and took a sip of whiskey to put out the flame, but the longer he looked at her, the hotter it was getting. He concluded that he couldn’t just stand without doing anything, so he downed his whiskey for a last taste of courage before he released his charm. He slowly approached the girl and leaned sassily on the bar beside her.

“Hello there, beautiful. I’m sorry, but I couldn’t help but notice you when you walked in,” David greeted smoothly with his husky voice. The girl smiled and almost blushed at his words. All men in a radius of a kilometer could only dream of having David’s flirting abilities and of course, his looks and charm to go with them.

“Oh my god, you’re David Lee Roth!” The girl squealed when she finally returned to planet Earth. David smirked charmingly.

“Yes, that would be me.”

“I’m a fan of yours. I’ve always wanted to meet you,” the girl bit her lips as she started getting more moony.

“Well, I guess it’s your lucky day,” the showman shrugged. “And mine too,” he winked as he leaned in closer. “Listen,” he lowered his voice seductively, “my hotel is nearby. How about I take you there and we get to know each other?” he suggested with a devilish smirk. The offer made the girl bite onto her bottom lip even harder.

“Lead the way then,” she raised her eyebrows and her words were the only invitation David needed to put his hand on her lower back. Needless to say, everybody turned their heads as they walked out of the bar, be it because of the tight dress that was embracing her body perfectly, or because Dave had her in his hands in the snap of the fingers. Or both…

               Just about the same amount of “effort” was needed for Dave to start peeling that tight cocktail dress off her body. He hadn’t even asked for her name for the gentleman he was, but that quickly stopped bothering her when she felt his burning lips making their way from her shoulder up to the sensitive skin of her neck. She melted into his embrace. It was really taking her to another dimension, but she quickly stepped on the ground when he started sliding her panties down.

“Those are two really beautiful long legs,” he purred as he looked up to her eyes since he was kneeling and he planted a kiss on her thighs. He sharply rose to his feet and the girl looked up to his eyes as he reached to undo the buttons of his shirt. She drank up with her eyes every centimeter of his flesh as he revealed his muscular, hairy chest. All she could think about was how she would run her hands all over it. Then Dave started undoing his belt while he was looking her dead in the eye, which made her gulp uneasily. He yanked his jeans down along with his boxers and revealed his impressive size. The girl gasped, which made David smirk.

“Now be a good girl and lie down with those beautiful legs open for me,” the singer whispered seductively in her ear and his words worked on her like magic. She obeyed and lied down as if she was hypnotized. David crawled between her legs and his lips aimed for her neck. He started sucking the delicate skin gently as he pressed his tip to her entrance. He slowly pushed his whole length inside her and she moaned out loud, her eyes rolling back in pleasure. Dave grunted as he felt her warmth.

“Mm, so good!” the singer purred as he slowly started moving inside her.

“Dave,” she moaned with a smile blooming on her lips. It was definitely her lucky day …more like night. David increased his pace and buried his face in her neck. She finally had the chance to run her hands all over his chest. She felt how perfectly muscular it was under her touch and she also felt the soft hairs between her fingers. Then her hands travelled to his arched back, slipping them down to his perfect muscular ass, which she had only seen on TV and once on a concert, dressed in those tight, crazy colored leggings. But now she was lucky to actually feel its perfect curves under her hands.

David buried his left hand in her soft hair and his face as well, inhaling its scent. His right hand moved to her left thigh, allowing himself more access to her entrance.

Niklas Kvarforth x OFC

The guys had a night off, since the booked show was on the following day. The guitarists and the drummer went out for dinner, while Niklas, Abigail and Christian remained in the hotel, since they were more up for the drinking part. They were sitting around a circle of candles on the floor, the lights were out and they were passing each other a bottle of whiskey. Many conversations were led, mainly between the two men, while Abigail would join in only when she actually had something to say. There was a short pause and the silence was piercing.

“Hey, Abigail. Talk to us. Tell us something.” Niklas encouraged the girl. She was supporting herself on her left elbow and running a finger around the flame of a candle. Niklas’ voice snapped her out of her daze.

“Tell you what? I don’t know what to tell you.” Abigail muttered blankly as if she was under hypnosis.

“You can maybe start out with why you snapped about the whole thing with the luggage.” He said as he passed her the whiskey for encouragement. Abigail exhaled deeply and took a sip of the whiskey.

“Well, I know it was weird and usually I don’t explain myself, but…Yeah, it was kinda odd, so I might as well tell you.” She came back to her senses at last and changed her position to sitting cross-legged on the floor. “I don’t like talking about that, but I had very, very strict parents. The reason I shouted at you for something seemingly pointless is because it is triggered by something like a childhood trauma. The thing is my parents often treated me like a slave. They raised me to believe that just because they are my parents and because they have brought me into this world I should worship them like gods, if not. That I should obey every word of theirs, that I should take care of them, because they are “higher” than me. Literally, it felt like I had to worship them. So, usually when they came back from work I had to wait for them at the front door. They would drop their jackets, shoes and bags on the floor and it was my job to arrange them at their places. They would bring bags full of groceries, heavy bags and it was again my job to drag them with all my strength to the kitchen and arrange everything at its place. When they were coming home from a vacation which they never took me to, they again were leaving those heavy suitcases at the door and it was again my job to drag them around all by myself. I used to do this ever since I was like seven years old. So you see, that’s why I snapped about it. I took it personally.” The girl explained. There was a smile on her face, but it wasn’t a happy smile.

“What the fuck is wrong with your parents?” Niklas snickered as he passed the bottle to Christian.

“That came from the right person – again.” Christian noticed with a smirk and he sipped from the bottle.

“Shut up, kid.” The older man laughed.

“They were fucking sick, man. Not the same kind of sick like you, but not any less sicker. But I left them the very day I turned eighteen. Now I hope they’re fucking dead simply so I could spit on their graves.” Abigail angrily sipped from the bottle, looking down at the candles.

“They couldn’t have been that bad.”

“Oh, but they were. It’s a story for another time though.”

               The shows were running one by one and that part of the tour was almost over. Despite Niklas’ destructive lifestyle that she had to live with, Abigail was having the time of her life. She had been running out of hope that anything good awaits her in her life after having a terrible childhood, but now something good was actually happening to her. All the guys were a lot of fun. Niklas was careful with her, something untypical for him. They were fucking every night and Abigail had never been more satisfied. Everything seemed right, at least as much as “right” could apply to living with Niklas.

               One night during the show, Niklas was a little happier than usual for some reason. Abigail was watching the show from the crowd. He even skipped the cutting this time! He only smoked and drank on stage, no drugs, no knives. But he didn’t skip the kiss with Christian. This always made Abigail giggle. “Poor Christian.” She thought jokingly in her mind. After the show, they all lined up passing behind her backstage. Niklas was first. He grabbed Abigail by the wrist, pulling her in for a kiss. The kiss was nothing like the usual and everyone could see it. Niklas pulled away without saying a word and leaned on one of the big amplifiers, lifting the bottle all the way up. Abigail raised her eyebrows in surprise. Christian noticed that and he smirked.

“How was the kiss?” He teased.

“You tell me, pretty face.” Abigail winked, implying the passionate kiss him and Niklas had shared on stage. Christian only shook his head with an ashamed smile, making Abigail giggle. Niklas escaped to the back room with the bottle in his hand and Abigail decided she should find out the reason for his unexplainable behavior.

“Stay away from the kid.” Those were the first words Abigail heard from Niklas as she closed the door behind her. He was simply sitting on a chair with the bottle between his legs.

“Wait, what?” Abigail looked at him confusedly.

“Stay away from Christian.” The man repeated.

“Why?”

“Because he fancies you. I thought it was obvious.”

“No, he doesn’t. He’s just being friendly. You should try it sometimes. And even if he does fancy me, I don’t fancy him, so I don’t see a reason to stay away from a friend.”

“Oh, friendly. So that’s what flirts are called nowadays.” Niklas said sarcastically. This was getting on Abigail’s nerves, so she decided to tease him a little. This game is played by two.

“Sure, he’s cute and charming, but that doesn’t mean I fancy him, right?” Abigail faked a dreamy look and she noticed Niklas’ jaw muscles tightening.

“Are you into young boys now?”

“He’s 19. Only three years younger. And since when are years a barrier for you?” She raised her eyebrows viciously and the last question shut his mouth. “Besides, I have the…(Should I call it luck, if it is quite the opposite?). Let’s say it’s misfortune to be more intrigued by you, Mr. Fucked-Up-Big –Time.” She approached him and leaned her head on his thigh. “Don’t worry, I won’t steal his golden hairs away from you.” She winked.

“You’ve got the talent to drive me slightly insane, but reason me through my insanity. I admire that.” Niklas said with a strong Swedish accent and put a finger under her chin.

“Wow. I just got complimented by Mr. Kvarforth. Isn’t that an achievement? I’m flattered.”

“You’re unfixable.”

“Look who’s talking.”

               On the next show, which was one of the last of this part of the tour, something in Kvarforth snapped. He had been holding on his feet recently, he had been polite, if not even nice and his depression seemed to be losing its echo, but after the show something weird happened. Kvarforth locked himself in one of the rooms. When Abigail arrived in front of the room, she found all the guys banging on the door and trying to reason him. As the unpredictable man that he is, they didn’t know what to expect and they were getting scared for him little by little.

“What’s going on?” Abigail asked a little frightened, since she wasn’t aware of the situation.

“He’s locked himself inside. He won’t let us in. He won’t even listen to us.” Christian explained with a little annoyance written on his pretty face.

“Let me try. I think you’re being too soft on him.” The brave girl stepped forward and cleared the male beings out of her way. “Niklas, open the fucking door!” She screamed as she banged on the door. The rest of the guys came closer in order to hear the singer’s response.

“Get the fuck away!” The sick bastard replied.

“Kvarforth, open the fucking goddamn door or I’ll fucking break it down!” Abigail wouldn’t take no for an answer and Niklas knew that. In the end, her voice made the singer break down his walls a little and he decided for a compromise.

“I’ll open the door only if you enter alone. Nobody else!” No matter how much his judgement was clouded by his sorrow, there was still the quiet, little voice of hope that told him Abigail could probably reason him. The guys raised their hands in sign of surrender and stepped back a little.

“You got it, pal.” Peter said. A chaotic movement was heard from the other side of the door and when it was unlocked, only Niklas’ right eye could be seen through the slightly opened door. When he was assured only Abigail was close to the door, he opened it so she could enter and locked it right behind her.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Abigail whispered angrily without even waiting for him to start. The singer took a sip from the whiskey bottle and lied down flat on the ground, hiding his face in his palms.

“I can’t fucking do this anymore.” He simply replied with a raspy, tortured voice. The girl wasn’t having any of it, so she knelt on the ground beside him and pinned his wrists above his head, so he could look in her eyes as she spoke.

“This part of the tour is almost over. You can’t give up now!” She hissed at him.

“I’m going fucking insane again, Abigail. I just want to get away for a while. Far away. Alone.”

“If you promise me to act normally for the rest of the shows remaining, I promise to grant your wish.” The girl replied gently after a short silence.

“And how can you do that?” Niklas spit out skeptically.

“Don’t underestimate me! My real house is located on the Lofoten Islands, Norway. The islands are a quiet and peaceful place. You can enjoy the northern lights there. If you promise to be a good boy, I’ll let you live there until the beginning of the next part of the tour.”

“We’ve got a deal. But only if you promise to stay with me. I’m not sure if I can keep myself from destroying your house…and myself. Solitude is dangerous, you know.” He replied with a very calm tone.

“I know better than you think. A deal it is, then.” Abigail smiled warmly and let go of his wrists. “Let’s get out of here now. And don’t you dare bark at the boys.” She rose to her feet and crossed her arms. Niklas rolled his eyes, returning to his natural mood. He struggled to rise to his feet, but eventually did it. Abigail unlocked the door for him and he stormed out of the room, passing by the boys like a hurricane. She exhaled as she met the guys’ expectant looks.

“So, how did you charm him? A kiss? A blow-job?” Christian smirked.

“No, pretty face. If that’s how you make an impact with Niklas then I’ve got news for you. I just bribed him. The weather forecast for the last dates of the tour is a calm and obedient Niklas.” Abigail pouted.

“I don’t see how is it possible to put “calm and obedient” in one sentence with “Niklas”.” The blond man replied skeptically.

“Wait and see, pretty. If I fail, you’ve got a bottle of whiskey on me.” The girl winked, crossing her arms proudly.

“Sounds like a deal to me.” Christian chuckled.

“Abigail. Come with me.” Kvarforth’s voice echoed from behind the blond man and she finally noticed he had been standing there all along. Who knows what he was going to think…

“The call of duty.” The girl exhaled and headed for Kvarforth. She pulled out a cigarette and lit it. Niklas put a hand on her lower back and led her somewhere where the bassist couldn’t hear them.

“What did I tell you about the kid?” Niklas hissed. Abigail calmly took a drag from her cigarette and exhaled without rushing to answer his question.

“I’m not answering to questions driven by your paranoia, you got that? That’s right, mister, you’re being paranoid. It’s just a simple talk with a band-mate of yours. Let me clear that out for you once and for all and I want you to listen. If I wanted to fuck him or something like that, don’t you think I wouldn’t have already done it? It’s not like he would say no and it’s not like I would give a damn, even if I did it while you were watching. But why haven’t I done it, you might ask. Because those are not my intentions. Do you understand me now?”

“Maybe I am paranoid…” Niklas exhaled with his head hanging low, maybe as a sign of shame. He was actually being jealous of his band-mate. The band-mate that helped him work on the album and actually joined him on his path to decay with all the drugs and prostitutes. “Or maybe I am just listening to a woman and fooling myself.”

“You are listening to a woman and you know why? Because you trust me.” His last remark angered the otherwise very calm girl. “And do you know why you trust me? Because you know that I used to be not any less sicker than you and that’s the reason I can keep you up on your feet. If you’re ashamed to be listening to that same woman that keeps your ass running when you lose the right way then we should probably part our ways right here and right now.” With these words, Abigail extinguished the remains of her cigarette in the bare skin of his arm. He clenched his teeth and looked at her with surprise. He wasn’t as angry as much as he was impressed with her courage. Others wouldn’t dare to put a finger on him and she did that? During the same time, the rest of his band mates showed up with their hands in his pockets. The guys all raised their eyebrows at the sight. Abigail let the cigarette fall to the ground.

“I’m not sure if it was all extinguished.” Niklas hissed.

“Oh, it wasn’t? I won’t make the same mistake again.”

“I see it’s getting pretty red hot here, but we should get going now.” Peter stepped in a little awkwardly.

               The same night they weren’t booking a hotel, but simply spending the night in the sleeper bus. Abigail was a little pissed at Niklas for he had questioned both her loyalty and her way of keeping him going, so she decided to deprive him of her presence and talks for the night. Of course, she knew that it was because of his paranoia, but this didn’t change the fact that it was him talking. It didn’t take long for Niklas to notice that she was ignoring him and for once he actually felt guilty. Sure, his ego couldn’t allow him to accept the fact that a woman knew what was right for him, but he couldn’t deny that she had made things better somehow. In fact, he was growing pretty fond of her, but no, how could he tell her? The ego is something not to be underestimated. However, he was certain deep inside that Abigail could tell what he was feeling for her, so he didn’t find it necessary to say it out loud. He swallowed a part of his ego and made a move.

Abigail was just sitting and chatting with the guys. They were listening to Type O Negative and seemed to be having good fun without him. He didn’t mind that. However, he did find it a little bit hurtful in a way, that Abigail could have fun in his absence too. He put a note reading simply “I’m sorry” on a bottle of Abigail’s favorite wine. He approached the fun part of the bus with the wine in his hand and everybody stopped talking, except Abigail who kept singing along “loving you was like loving the dead” with the song. She was looking down to the ground and was puzzled when everybody stopped talking, so she raised her head just to see Niklas.

“You finally decided to join us, dude.” Peter cheered. Niklas’ face twisted in his perverse smirk and he snickered.

“I just passed by to leave something. I’d like to take a good sleep after today’s adventures.” He noticed calmly. He turned to Abigail, but she was still looking to the ground. “Abigail.” He called her name as he brought the bottle of wine in front of her eyes. She looked up in his eyes questioningly and took the bottle. He had that frown on his face kids put on when they pretend they’re mad. It was the mixed emotion of both anger and the need to apologize. When she didn’t say anything, he simply turned his back and closed the door behind him. The girl had a surprised and amused look on her face as she read the note.

“What does it say?” Peter asked curiously as he couldn’t read the note from his angle.

“It’s a note saying “I’m sorry” on a bottle of my favorite wine. How romantic!” Abigail said ironically.

“Well, you don’t see that coming from Niklas every day.” Christian noticed. “What is he sorry for? Niklas is never sorry. Almost never, at least.”

“For being unreasonable.” The girl replied thoughtfully, still looking at the note. “Whatever. It’s drinking time, gentlemen!” She announced cheerfully.

“Isn’t it always?” Somebody remarked and everybody laughed as Abigail opened the wine and filled everybody’s glass up. What nobody knew was that Niklas was still at the door, listening to their conversation. Even if he didn’t want to admit it in front of his own self, he felt a little hurt for Abigail didn’t take his note seriously.

               After drinking until the small hours of the night together with the guys, Abigail felt a little drunk and sleepy. In this condition, she didn’t mind returning to Niklas. Besides, he was probably already sleeping after all.

“Gentlemen and gentlemen,” she started drunkenly with an empty glass in her hand, “I’ve had a lot of fun tonight, but I feel a little too drunk to keep my eyes open, so I shall withdraw to the bunk area.”

“Do you need escort to Niklas’ bunk?” Christian asked as he was giggling at her drunkenness.

“No, thank you. I think the pathway is small enough for me to keep a straight line even against my will. You gents have a good night and leave just a little alcohol for breakfast.” Abigail said and turned around to walk out through the door, but she staggered and stopped herself from falling by holding on for the wall.

“You won’t make it to the bunk until the sun comes up with this pace.” Christian laughed and threw her left arm over his neck as he held on to her waist. He slowly helped her to get to the bunk area.

“A drunken woman is such an ugly picture. I’m ashamed of myself. Oh, wait. I’m not. This is me every single night. I forgot.”

“I wouldn’t call it ugly. Just unusual, since you hardly open your mouth to talk and now you can hardly keep quiet.”

“This is embarrassing. Thank you for the help, pretty face. Now go get drunk as well.” Abigail laughed and kissed his cheek, surprising him. “Have a good night.”

“You too, Abigail.” Chris shook his head as he was afraid he had blushed and headed back to the others. Abigail crawled in the bunk of the already sleeping Niklas.

“Abigail?” He asked sleepily as he woke up from the movement.

“Is there still a place in your bunk for me?”

“Only if you want it.”

“Alright then.” Abigail snuggled into Niklas, putting a leg over his.

“You smell like alcohol.” He snickered.

“If you don’t want to find out how drunk I am, you better shut up and let me sleep.”

“I hope it’s not “I fucked Christian” kind of drunk.”

“Seriously, what the fuck?” She muttered annoyed.

“I’m just kidding.” Niklas laughed.

“I’m starting to question if you’re actually jealous of Christian or if you’re jealous of me. Because I’m starting to think that you’re afraid that I’ll steal him away from you.” The girl joked sleepily.

“This is ridiculous. Just go to sleep already.”

“I will, when your paranoia goes to sleep.”

Niklas Kvarforth x OFC

               In the morning, Niklas was the first one to wake up. He had slept on the girl’s breasts throughout the whole night. What a better spot to spend the night than this? He lift his almost lifeless body off of hers with a lot of effort, as he was feeling like trash and he froze in a sitting position. He still couldn’t realize what had happened. Even though she was sound asleep, she didn’t seem to be sleeping calmly, as if something in her sleep was bothering her. Niklas came back on Earth and rubbed his face sleepily. He made an attempt at getting up on his feet, but he ended up tripping on an empty bottle and landing on his face on the blood and booze-stained carpet.

“Fucking hell…” He cursed under his breath with his raspy voice. The sound from his falling seemed to have disturbed the girl’s sleep as she shifted around and opened her eyes. She touched around the bed in search for the singer that had slept on top of her throughout the whole night, but he was missing. She lift herself up from the bed just to find him still lying face down on the floor. She chuckled and tried to stop herself from laughing. “Don’t make fun of me, woman.” He hissed without even trying to lift himself up. The girl jumped off the bed and straddled him.

“Do you need help?” She gently whispered in his ear as she sat on his ass, lying her body down on his back.

“Why would I? Just another fucking day in hell I can handle.” The singer muttered and that made it clear for the female that he definitely wasn’t the playful type. She rolled her eyes and quickly removed herself from his body. She sat on the edge of the bed, looking at him expectantly. He finally found the strength and turned himself over to lie on his back. After a short hesitation, he got on his knees in front of the silent female and rested his head on her thighs. “I feel like trash.” He whispered blankly.

“You look like one too.”

“How kind of you.” Niklas noticed sarcastically.  

“I’m just being honest. Besides, I’m not aware of you being fond of people who are being kind to you, which is strange. Who doesn’t want people to be kind with them?”

“I’m pretty sure that’s not precisely what I meant. But whatever, woman. We’re all unworthy of kindness. We are all worthless. You are worthless, I am worthless, every living thing inhabiting the planet Earth is worthless.” Niklas muttered drunkenly.

“Don’t call me woman! I have a name.” The girl protested.

“Let’s hear it then.”

“Oh, so now you ask. You fucked me without even knowing my name.”

“What difference does it make anyway? Sex needs no names in order to happen.” The singer noted with his raspy voice as he unexpectedly spread her legs and kissed the inner side of her thighs as he looked into her eyes. “Just get to the point.”

“It’s Abigail.”

“Abigail.” Niklas repeated the female’s name, letting it roll off his tongue. “How old are you, Abigail?”

“I’m 22.”

“Good then. I was starting to think I had fucked an underage girl.”

“You’re flattering me.” Abigail chuckled. Niklas was still so hungover, that while he was still running his lips over her inner thighs he simply buried his head between her legs with the muttering sound of a really tortured man. He could hardly keep his eyes open. Suddenly, somebody knocked on the door and bravely opened it. The blond head of the new Shining bassist peeked through the door.

“Am I interrupting something?” Christian asked without the slightest tone of shame in his voice.

“Just another episode of “Niklas is hungover as fuck”, as it seems.” Abigail replied calmly, with a slight tone of blame, while she apparently didn’t mind standing naked in front of the blond man’s eyes.

“Don’t you want something to eat, dude?” Christian hardly kept himself from laughing, as Niklas’ current position was hinting him that he’s already started his breakfast, even though it wasn’t what it seemed.

“Hopefully, I’ll be downstairs in about ten minutes, kid.” Niklas replied blankly.

“I’ll make sure he does.” Abigail promised and Christian went on to close the door with a smirk frozen on his lips.

“I don’t need a baby sitter.” The singer whined.

“Sure looks like you don’t.” The girl replied sarcastically. She grabbed him by the pony tail and lift his head up, so he can look her in the eyes. “Come on, in the shower you go.” She ordered and Niklas exhaled deeply, giving up. She helped him get up on his feet and escorted him to the shower, pushing him inside the shower cabin.

“You’re not going anywhere.” Niklas pointed his finger threatingly as his head peeked between the shower cabin doors.

“Of course I’m not. I’m staying here to make sure you don’t slip and fall on your ass.”

               After Niklas was done showering, Abigail found him a pair of clean clothes and for her surprise, he didn’t need help getting dressed. Apparently, the cold morning shower had washed away some of his hangover. He could even speak and move more lively.  The girl finally took care of her own appearance and they were finally ready to join the others.

               The breakfast went normally. Niklas seemed very quiet. The rest of the guys kept looking at Abigail questioningly, which made her feel a little awkward and out of place, because in her mind they thought she was just another whore. She wasn’t ever bothered by what people might think of her, but there were black spots on the dirty canvas of her past that she didn’t want to be reminded of. However, they knew nothing of her, so they weren’t allowed to judge.

               The band was about to leave for the next destination and with a saddened mind, Abigail knew the hour to say goodbye to Niklas was approaching with slow and heavy steps. And there they were, standing in front of the band’ sleeper bus. Abigail was ready to stretch out her hand to Niklas and leave this night in the past behind. However, Niklas didn’t seem to have the same intentions.

“I want you to join us on our tour. It won’t be that long.” Niklas finally offered blankly. Abigail was speechless. The notorious misanthrope Niklas Kvarforth was actually asking her, a nobody, to join them on tour.

“Niklas, I’m not a whore. I’m not coming along to be a doll for games.” Abigail said determinedly, since she thought he only wants her for the sex. Niklas laughed.

“I know that very well. I can tell you’re not.” He laughed again at her wrong impression of his intentions. “Do you have a family waiting for you at home?”

“I-I don’t.” Abigail replied shyly.

“Come on then. Judging by the action that brought you so far, I thought you were a risk-taker. Did I make a miscalculation?” The girl laughed at his words, despite their seriousness.

“No. I am indeed. But…I don’t have my stuff…” She said timidly. Niklas snickered.

“Is that all that bothers you? We can pass by your place so you can take what you want, but quickly. We don’t have much time to waste.” He was being very convincing, but she was still hesitating for some reason. Niklas was a stranger to her just like she was to him, yet he was asking her to join them. On the other hand, he had always seemed like an interesting person to be around and it was always something she had wished to experience as a fan of his. Now this opportunity was presented to her in a way she had never expected. Was she really going to ditch it?

“Why do you want me to come?” She finally asked, still in hesitation. Niklas exhaled deeply and approached her.

“I’ve met many women, Abigail. Many. Many I’ve fucked, many I’ve only talked to, but only three or four of them were worth my time. Only three or four were worth talking to. From the short time I spent with you, you seem to me like one of those women who are worth my time. And since I’ve lost faith in finding such women, I want to see if you are one. Besides, you’re a bold one and I like that.”

“Honest. I like that and I appreciate it. I still find it a questionable motive, but that’s a risk, isn’t it? And since it’s a risk, I say let’s do it.” Abigail crossed her arms and raised her chin up proudly and determinedly. Kvarforth smirked with that signature smirk of his that had locked in it perversion and dark thoughts.

               While in the sleeper bus, Niklas announced that he is still sleepy and he is going to take a rest for a while. This meant Abigail was being left alone with the rest of the band. Even though she didn’t know Kvarforth in the least, she knew the other guys even less and without him she felt alone and vulnerable. She kept sitting on the leather couch quietly, hugging her legs as she felt the guys’ gaze upon her. Peter was strumming his guitar and so was Christian strumming his bass, while music was playing quietly in the background.

“Come on, loosen up, we don’t eat people, unlike our Niklas there.” Peter finally ruined the silence. Abigail giggled as she felt a little stupid having this remark thrown at her.

“I’m fine, actually. I’m just still trying to process the choice I made.”

“And we’re trying to process the choice Niklas made. Nothing personal, of course. It’s just that our guy doesn’t simply invite girls over to tour with him, you know.”

“Yeah, I’m aware. That’s why I questioned him in the first place. But hey, what so bad could happen from taking this opportunity?”

“You could get sucked in by Niklas’ downward spiral of self-destruction, that’s what.” Christian added blankly as he was playing around with his bass.

“I’ve been down that road. I ain’t walking it again. Besides, you guys don’t seem to be affected…much…”

“That’s different. But judging by your words, I guess Niklas has got a new destruction-buddy. You be careful…Abigail, wasn’t it? I’m not saying he’s a bad person, but he’s seriously fucked up.” The blond man warned.

“And you guys don’t try to fix him? Because I would.” The girl said determinedly and all of the guys just snickered. She knew what that meant. What a stupid idea, huh? To try to keep him away from his bad, self-destructive habits.  Niklas himself…Who would even dare to oppose him?

               The sleeper bus parked on the designated place at their next destination. Everyone headed to unload their luggage and carry it to their rooms, except Niklas. Abigail followed every movement around her with a jaw dropped to the ground as everyone was unloading their things, while Niklas hurried to get to the reception.

“Doesn’t he plan on unpacking?” The puzzled girl asked.

“Well, he does plan to unpack alright, but I can’t guarantee it’s important stuff.” Christian replied with a slight smirk, which had a trace of disappointment in it. Or was that admiration? Abigail looked at him in attempt to decode what he meant. “You’ll see.” With the last remark from his side, Abigail was almost certain she understood him, just as much as she was certain she didn’t like where things were going. She shot him with a last glance of shock written on her face and ran after Niklas. He already had the keys for the band’ suite and was climbing the stairs with a quick pace. Abigail was struggling a bit in her heels to catch up with him.

“Aren’t you forgetting something important?” Abigail shouted after him as she was about ten steps behind him.

“Everything essential I carry with me. The rest has almost caught up with me, but the heels it’s wearing are kind of a barrier.” Niklas replied somewhat amusedly without even turning to face the girl.

“I wasn’t even implying myself. I was implying that you’ve got stuff to carry.” She noticed as she finally caught up with him. They reached the suite and Niklas unlocked it.

“I made you a compliment and the first thing you worry about is my suitcases. What is wrong with you?” He laughed as he opened the door and entered the suite.

“Well, that came from the right person.” Christian noticed as he showed up from nowhere behind the girl along with the other guys and entered the room.

“You’ll sleep in my room.” Niklas announced, pointing to the girl and ignoring the younger man’s remark as he opened the door to the room he picked and entered impatiently. His tone would accept no refusal. Abigail opened her mouth to say something, but she figured she had no voice in this and followed him quietly. She was curious to see the guys’ reaction, but decided it would be better for her if she didn’t turn to see it. When she entered the room, Niklas had already taken out a packet of “white powder” and had found the smoothest surface in the room. The girl’s jaw dropped.

“It hasn’t been five minutes since you stepped into the hotel and you’re already snorting coke?” She shouted disappointedly at him. Niklas took a minute, leaning his head back with his eyes closed as he inhaled deeply in order to get rid of the irritation that had taken over him. He opened his eyes and concentrated them on her.

“Are you questioning my habits?” He calmly asked.

“Well, what the fuck does it sound to you like?”

“It sounds to me like: it’s not any of your business.” Niklas stated with the same calm, blameless and blank tone and with “white powder” on his nose. Abigail exhaled deeply and made a sharp turn, walking out of the room. She passed by the guys like a hurricane and Kvarforth’s raspy voice echoed from behind her. “Where are you going?”

“Not far.” Abigail answered almost regretfully as she headed for the sleeper bus. She took his suitcases and struggling to climb the stairs in her heels, she finally managed to take them to the top of the stairs. Christian was already there, standing with his hands in his pockets.

“You need help with those?” He asked politely. She didn’t mean to sound rude or unthankful, but she was pissed at Kvarforth.

“No, thank you. I can do it myself.” She was a funny picture, trying to carry the cases with her small frame and in those heels. She entered Kvarforth’s room and threw the cases on the ground. He was done shooting the lines and he was sitting on the edge of the bed. “Can I sleep in the bus?”

“No, no you can’t. We don’t always reserve hotel rooms, so take advantage while you can. How did the coke piss you off so much? It’s not like you weren’t aware of what kind of a person I am.” Niklas stated as calm as before despite the frown written on Abigail’s face.

“I wasn’t pissed off mainly because of the coke. It’s just that you can’t expect from the guys to carry your stuff for you while you’re snorting your coke. You can’t expect anyone to carry your stuff just because you’re the “big star”. And I’m not talking self-respect here, I’m talking band-respect. Do it because of the guys.” She explained nervously. Niklas snickered.

“I’m sure the guys will appreciate your concern. I was going to take my own stuff when I was done here, if that’s the problem.” He was somewhat amused by the girl’s remark, so he was low-key grinning the whole time.