yeah yeah yes

ooooh there he is! phone at the ready! about to meet the love of his life!! so happy that his mouth takes up half his face!!! i love this sweet blurry boy

“Well, either the x-rays lied to me or you are spontaneously creating teeth. I’m going with the second one because it’s way cooler.”

“When was the last time you flossed? Your gums aren’t bleeding which means I’m either not doing this hard enough or you actually floss your teeth regularly”

“You don’t need to do a fluoride treatment I just want to go check my facebook for a second and this is the best excuse I can come up with. Don’t worry your insurance will cover it.”

“Take a whole handful of toothbrushes, I can’t order new ones in less ugly colors until these ones are gone.”

“Remember not to eat or drink anything for a half hour…or actually you know forget that go eat lemons and drink coffee right now. I make money based on peoples bad decisions, you should probably stop brushing your teeth too.”

okay, so i asked my twitter feed if bikini barista stands were something exclusive to the Pacific Northwest, and the answer was overwhelmingly “what the fuck are you talking about??” so, to answer your question in short: absolutely. 

long answer: they are real and in the places i have lived in washington and oregon, they are everywhere. they are usually a drive-thru kiosk with a window on each side and all-female baristas who wear only bikinis.  they are known for making admittedly the worst coffee ever for the highest prices, and the girls who work there make a ton of money.  i had a few friends in college who were able to pay for school, because they would average roughly $700 a week in tips on top of tacoma’s-then $9/hr.  one girl i knew who worked at one full-time made $10k a month after taxes. she also had a walk-in closet entirely devoted to bikinis and costumes from Hustler Hollywood, and if you ever want to hear the story about the one time i decided to let an amateur wax my privates on her couch in late 2011, this girl was definitely a key player in that story.  

 I don’t like them as a concept but also if I could go back in time and pay for college smiling flirtatiously and making coffee I would have to think about it real hard.

I also probably would not go to a male version but like … I enjoy the concept qua concept

to summarize the discussion: victor nikiforov comes in every day and stuffs twenty dollar bills into the VOTE FOR YOUR FAVORITE BREW BOY - KATSUDON and unironically fantasizes about supporting Katsudon through graduate school in return for Yuri allowing him to buy him unshitty coffee, walking the dog with him, and possibly if Yuri is into it, making VIctor breakfast in nothing but a frilly apron.

he just tips me because he feels bad I’m the pudgy one here, explains Yuri to Phichit

VICTOR LOVES THE PUDGE 

Sure, says Phichit, who does all right but also not as all right as Yuri does. he definitely doesn’t have hot Russians lurking around trying to balance on the line between “not creepy” and “PLEASE RAISE PUPPIES WITH ME, I WILL BUY YOU FANCY UNDERPANTS”. Suuuuuuure.

dude he wants you to quit work and live on him, sighs Leo. Leo is very tired.

Victor once had to consider real hard about why it might be weird to just drop a Visa Black card in Yuri’s jar when they were having a tips competition

that would be weird, honey, says Chris, steering him gently away

Things Victor loves in no particular order

watching Yuri study before he looks up and blushes

his habit of licking his wrist every time he gets whipped cream on it

the cute toy poodle picture that usually decorates Yuri’s tip jar

Side note, I’m pretty sure the author already knows this exists, but I didn’t have a Tumblr until like yesterday. Sooo.