Never Trust A Bitch

his entire character is a full frontal assault one every ‘good ol’ boy’ stereotype

sure, he has 1 outfit (plaid shirt + jeans), military hair, and a permanent scowl

but he also has zero fucks to give about wearing things other people find dorky, like turtlenecks, because they are functional

and he doesn’t need a belt because he buys pants that fit thank you

and said pants fit VERY well indeed

also his plaid shirt has snaps instead of buttons as if he sometimes moonlights as a stripper

instead of the strong silent type he’s a strong hyper-verbal type, in that he can and will speak long convoluted paragraphs when provoked 

he had really long eyelashes and it miffs him somewhat that his two male farmhands never noticed or complimented them

violently feminist. dislikes his sister’s boyfriends because they are dumb hockey himbos, not because there’s TWO of them. his sister fights on HIS behalf as well as the other way around. 

asks his sister’s permission to fight on their property during a party she organized, like a Spartan who needs his wife to nod her approval

he once decided not to be friends with a guy after learning he didn’t tip their waitress in the place where they were drinking

is often prissier than your maiden aunty

politely ignores everyone who hits on him, regardless of whether it’s the ultra-horny female bartender, the ultra-camp male Christian pastor, or the most desirable girl in town. 

loves dogs more than anything