Fenja finds Freedom

That being said, bloating is a normal part of life, everybody gets it occasionally and it can’t be completely avoided, don’t stress too much, it’s normal ♥

Tut mir leid, dass es dir so geht! Ja, ich denke du solltest dir hilfe suchen, du zeigst alle zeichen einer essstörung und daas du da schon so lange nicht selber rauskommst und damit zu mir kommst, zeigt ja, wie sehr du darunter leidest und hilfe brauchst. Du magst vllt. Momentan so halbwegs damit leben können, aber essstörungen verschwinden leider nicht von selber, sondern werden eher schlimmer mit der zeit. Also ja, bitge such dir hilfe, du verdienst mehr als das ♥

Awww thank you, that really means a lot to me! Minnie maud recovery guide lines are explained on youreatopia.com or on letsrecover.tumblr.com/faq and they basically man that you eat AT LEAST 2500 - 3000 calories every day, no exception, to repair your body and metabolism and gain weight the healthiest way. There is also absolutely NO exercise until you're weight restored and healthy and only weighing yourself once a week or bound at the doc's office. You eat according to Minnie maud until you are weight restored completely and have reliable hunger cues and maintain your weight while following them :) Once you do that you can stop counting calories and just follow hunger and fullness add long as you don't loose weight :) ♥

 I am not. I am not a walking, talking disease, I am not a shit person by nature who simply decided to fuck up her entire life, who willingly hurts everybody around her. I am not an eating disorder. I HAVE an eating disorder. I am sick. My eating disorder infiltrates my brain, my eating disorder makes me think that I am a shit person and that I do and think all these shitty things because I want to, that I want to binge and purge and starve and die. I do not. Ofc I am responsible for myself and my actions but I am not my mental illness and I didn't choose this. I choose how to cope and whether I accept help and treatment but I didn't choose to become so very sick. I always saw myself as my eating disorder and I hated myself for what I did to myself but I suffer from an illness, it might by now be a part of me but its not ME. I am not talking about the mystical "ana and mia" that whisper orders in my ear but it's an illness nevertheless. I finally understand the sentence "destroy whay destroys you". My therapist made me see this by showing me that to the people around me, I am a person. They love me for Who I am, goofy and funny and intelligent and a little mean at times. They hate my eating disorder for what it puts me through, they want their girlfriend and daughter back. They don't hate ME if I relapse, they hate my illness for destroying me slowly. I never thought of it like that, I always saw myself as my eating disorder but I am not - I am a sufferer of an eating disorder and this disorder is going down! Time to find the Fenja I really am, time to figure out who I am without this bc I am sure as hell not a victim. I've been a victim long enough of too many things, I am not a victim - I AM A FUCKING FIGHTER.