Not Sims

Progressives: American society has never been perfect but right now it is fracturing along the lines of wealth inequality. We need a strong government that actually represents the will of the people in order to abolish (or at least contain) the evils of capitalism and kick billionaire donors out of government affairs.

Conservatives: Capitalism may or may not be perfect but it is certainly the best economic system to serve the people. America is a meritocracy in which the rich are rich because they deserve to be, and the poor are poor because they ought to be. We are a small (and shrinking) demographic but it doesn’t matter because America uses a two-party system and we control one of them. That means we hold every vote to our left hostage, and it’s in their best interest to keep us in office so things don’t slide further to the right (not that it matters; with their compliance we have the majority so we can balance it back out next time). In the meantime, it serves our interests if people keep referring to us and the progressives as a singular entity (whether “Democrats” or “liberals”). We believe that the only place to pull any more votes from is from the regressives. There is no one else worth our notice.

Regressives (capitalist): Capitalism serves the people best with zero government interference. Labor law, consumer safety, and environmental sustainability are modern inconveniences to be abolished at the first opportunity. What’s good for the rich is good for the poor because it all trickles down eventually (lol).

Regressives (religious): Our great Christian nation is a de facto meritocracy because God says so. Those who are suffering are meant to suffer and must not be relieved of that suffering. Likewise, those in power have been rewarded by divine favor. All social change and progress is evil because the status quo is the will of God, which shall not be denied. Godlessness is the root of all suffering, and America needs to return to its Christian roots to be worthy of salvation. We will not even vote or take action to help ourselves (besides proselytizing and being a general nuisance), because our suffering is the crucible by which we are tested and found worthy of our eternity in Paradise. We are not a death cult because we believe in eternal life.

Regressives (fascist): Fascist ideology is based on aggrieved entitlement. Everything that follows is loosely cobbled and often paradoxical justification for intense bigotry against the weak and marginalized (the specifics of which are subject to change at a moment’s notice). Not so much a coherent ideology as a will to power among the dominant socioeconomic class and those who think they are (or could be) part of it. They are powerful believers in law and order, if only to subjugate those they see as subhuman (this group does in fact contain white women, depending on who you ask). In contrast to the laissez-faire capitalist regressives, fascist regressives prefer a powerful, overreaching government for the purposes of surveillance, intimidation, and control of both people and information. They have a proud history and just want to make sure they’re the only ones who can tell it (interestingly, most of this history seems to be returning to some imaginary past which no one can agree on).

Calling his portrayal of a Native Hawaiʻian chief “straight out of the 1700s,” critics, scholars, and fans alike praised Chief Of War star Jason Momoa this week for the historical accuracy of his ass. “Of all the period dramas that have come out in the past two decades, this is by far the most realistic historical ass I’ve seen,” said University of Hawaiʻi historian Douglas Hale, who stated that Momoa had evidently spent hundreds of hours studying 18th-century sketches, lithographs, and texts depicting and describing the asses of great warriors like Kaʻiana, whom he plays in the new Apple TV+ series.

caitlin doughty, better known as ask a mortician, is a member of the order of the good death, which is compiling a fairly comprehensive and easy to understand state by state guide for end-of-life planning for lgbtq people right here

All Jellycat Owls 🦉

(Bashful Owl, Woodrow Owl, Wee Owl, Snoozling Owl, Oberon Owl, Oakley Owl, Nippit Owl, Forest Fauna Owl, Willow Owl, Apollo Owl, Oti Owl, Gloria Owl, Bonbon Owl, Bashful Snowy Owl, Bashful Owl Chick, Dapperdots Owl, Little Owl, Bashful Barn Owl, Snowy Owling, Barn Owling, Brown Owling, Cornelius Owl, Bertie Owlet, Hortense Owl, Orlando Owl, Ania Owl, Olga Owl, Hoot Owl, Toot Owl, Ollie Owl, Carnival Owl, Happihoop Owl, Twitter Witter Owl, Olive Owl, Betty Owl, Elsie Owl, Skandoodle Owl, Oak Owl, Puffball Owl, Torvill Owl Chick, Nocturne Owl and Barney Owl Chick)