ɪ ᴡɪʟʟ ɴᴏᴛ ʙᴏᴡ

the   workshop   was   an   amalgamation   of   everything   wylan   was,   had   been,   and   would   ever   be.   stacks   of   sheet   music   were   scattered   over   every   surface,   bottles   lined   the   shelves   with   bulbous   middles   and   thin   necks,   and   his   bed   was   shoved   into   the   corner,   unmade,   marked   from   the   scent   of   whichever   boy   he   had   brought   home   last.   it   was   the   life   of   a   barrel   rat,   he   supposed   —   far   from   the   life   of   a   little   merchling   boy.   wylan   had   come   to   the   realisation   that   he   would   have   chosen   a   life   of   filth   and   deprivation   and   empty   bellies   than   spending   one   more   night   beneath   the   wrath   of   his   father.   but   the   influence   of   jan   van   eck   followed   him   like   a   ghost.   he   knew   kaz   knew,   could   feel   that   him   and   his   sire   would   not   always   remain   so   far   away.

 "I do," Matt shrugged and let out a quiet sigh. He'd certainly had his fair share of run-ins with the Stadwatch. Not so much nowadays, but when he'd first landed in Ketterdam and hadn't known any better. Needless to say, he'd never much cared for them. But, quite frankly? Most of them were utterly useless.

 So he raised his brows and flashed an almost cocky grin. "Don't worry. They'd have to catch me first. I mean have you ever seen them run? Nine times out of ten, they trip and land on their face. I have yet to meet a single one of them that can keep up with me. They're for show, more than anything." Did that make him sound arrogant? Maybe. But they relied on people bowing to them without putting up a fight. And Matt would never be one of those people.

 Then he sighed, and watched Wylan as he rubbed the back of his neck. "Listen... I was... mad. There are certain things that are mine to share, not Kaz's. If he had given me a heads up, maybe I wouldn't have come at you sideways like that. And I mean I still shouldn't have. That's on me. But that doesn't mean I think you're useless. We all have our uses, our roles. And I know not everything can be solved through fighting. There's limits to what someone like me can achieve."

 Shrugging his shoulders, he stared up at the ceiling for a moment, then clicked his tongue. "Tell you what. Let me make it up to you. In whichever way you choose."

he was doing something akin to magic, the fingers in her hair weaving an intricate spell that soothed her nerves. with the added rumble of his voice and the tattoo of his heart underneath her ear, yiseul found herself being lulled into a space between wakefulness and dreaming. even injured, even with all her worries, long zhi unfailingly made her feel cherished and secure, able to let her guard down without hesitation. but she fought off sleep to listen to him speak, not wanting to miss a single word.

admittedly, she was a little surprised at the name matt —– not that she had been expecting anything particular, but it hadn't crossed her mind that he'd choose an english name. but the more she dwelled on it, the more it seemed to suit him. as with everything else related to him, she would hold the name close to her heart.

then his voice went quiet, seeming to echo in her dreamlike state and almost lost under the sudden thunder of his heart. yiseul stirred next to him, brows furrowed as she lifted her head slightly, worried something might be wrong and ready to leap up at a moment's notice to tend to him.

the proposal caught her off-guard, to the point where she thought she'd misheard. but he continued speaking, his voice full of an uncharacteristic nervousness, and she realized that she'd heard him correctly.

the idea of marriage had always ever been that for her: an idea. a concept. something reserved for everyone else except her. she'd never bothered to dream of it because she'd always assumed her fate was to always be in a cage. everything had changed the moment she'd seen long zhi in her visions, and they'd continued changing ever since. in less than two weeks, she'd found someone who understood her completely and loved her unconditionally. and she'd been willing to just be content with those two facts, knowing she'd spend her life with the only person who'd ever cared about her.

"you —– you want to marry me?" the room turned hazy underneath a sheen of tears that yiseul blinked away, heat sliding down her cheeks and her nose turning a soft pink. a watery smile formed on quivering lips.

"i don't care about rings. i only care about you and the life we have together. there's no one else for me in this world." shaking, yiseul shifted up and pressed her lips to his, kissing him sweetly..

"so, yes, i'll marry you. i'm yours forever."

 Admittedly, Long Zhi had never thought about marriage. He'd never felt the urge to get married, nor had it ever been something he'd cared about. As a matter of fact, after watching what was his parents' marriage, he'd actually been fairly certain he didn't want to fall into that same, miserable trap. He'd seen what it could do to you; how it had worn his mother down over the years until there was barely anything left of her. How his father had found every excuse in the book to stay away as much as possible, neglecting not only his wife, but his own sons, too.

 And maybe he was jumping the gun. Maybe he was being too intense, listened a little too closely to his soft heart that always seemed to cause him so much trouble. Maybe he should wait, give it some time, let all of this settle in first, before making such a life-altering decision.

 But the question was: why?

 Long Zhi had never been so certain about anything in his life. They were nothing like his parents. Whatever was between them might still be fresh, but it was true. It was real. Yiseul was willing to put herself back into a cage for his sake, for his younger brother's sake. The same way he was willing to abandon his life and everything he knew in order to offer her the freedom she'd deserved all her life.

 Did they have to get married for any of that? No. But it was like he'd said: he wanted to offer her that promise. That reassurance. Whatever happens from here on out, we're in this together, and we will come out on the other side together.

 "I do," he said softly, his hand coming up to wipe away her tears. The fact she seemed so surprised by it amused him; she really kind of should've expected it, given his previous declarations. Sure, they'd oftentimes been during certain... situations, but that didn't make them any less true or genuine.

 Then he grinned a little, his mood suddenly somewhat giddy and playful, now that the weight of the question had been lifted off of his shoulders. "I'm sure there is someone else out there for you, but they're too late. And they'll have to fight me to get to you."

 His arm wrapped around her as she kissed him, pulling her as close as he could. "I don't know how yet, or where. But we'll figure it out. Before we set foot in San Francisco, you'll be my wife."

 He quite liked the sound of that. Wife.

 Letting out a quiet sigh, his body relaxed. "I never really thought about it, to be honest. Getting married, I mean. Or... That kind of life in general. I mean it seems like such an absurd idea, given, well... Everything. But it feels like it's the only thing that makes sense now."

"i can manage to hide it once i get familiar with my surroundings. i used to hide things in my room all the time until ..."

she shifted her arm, silently gesturing to her scars. after that incident, jae-seok's guards had performed frequent sweeps on her room to ensure she didn't have anything illicit. he didn't want her to have any means of escape —– even death.

clearly, long zhi had been doing a lot of thinking over the past few days, as they got closer and closer to the departure date, and very idea of it made her feel warm inside, despite her anxiety. it was nice to know how much consideration he'd put into their future and the obstacles that would soon present themselves. she never would've thought to ask for a phone and she had resigned herself to only catching glimpses of long zhi in passing until he could get all the necessary resources together.

of course, she was still worried. he said he wouldn't push himself, but yiseul didn't have much of a concept of what it was long zhi actually did for his grandfather or what their relationship was like. she could only hope that, after this job, he'd at least be given some downtime to recover.

with a hum, yiseul made herself more comfortable against him, shifting her head to his chest to listen to his heartbeat.

she turned her hand in his, lacing their fingers together as she hesitated for a moment. long zhi had never made her feel ashamed about the things she did and didn't know, but that didn't stop her from feeling self-conscious about it.

"what name would i save you as? and um ... will you show me ... how to use it? at least enough so i can send you messages and pictures?"

 Watching as Yiseul shifted her arm, he let out a quiet sigh and just nodded his head as a silent sign he’d understood. Letting his gaze linger on the scar, he realized how close he’d come to never having met her. Just the thought of it pained him, and as much as it repulsed him, he couldn’t help but thank Jae-Seok that he hadn’t let her die. It had caused her pain and suffering, no doubt, but he’d spend the rest of their lives trying to make up for it.

 “Assuming you’re going to stay where I think you will, the floorboards are an easy hiding spot. It’s where I used to hide my art supplies when I was younger. No one ever thinks to check there.” Not that he thought there’d be any real need to be that sneaky about it. His grandfather was controlling, but not ‘conducts frequent searches of a room’ kind of controlling. At least he didn’t think so.

 Whenever she settled with her head on his chest, he let out a quiet, content sigh as he closed his eyes again after all, his fingers mindlessly playing with her hair. Then he let out a quiet chuckle and nodded his head once more. “Of course, I’ll show you. Looks like we’ll have plenty of time just lying around, so I’m sure we’ll have enough time.” Falling silent for a moment, he contemplated her question and finally settled on the name he seemed to use for anything that was a rebellion of sorts. “Matt. Save me as Matt. No one will recognize the name.”

 Then he fell quiet again, exhaustion once again tugging at him and making him struggle to stay awake. But there was one more thing that had been on his mind. One more thing he wanted and needed to get out. “Yiseul?” he started quietly, his voice a bit shaky and uncertain, and there was no doubt in his mind she could hear his heart pounding in his chest now. “Before we go back… Before we’re forced to be apart… Will you… Will you marry me? I know it’s not.. Super romantic, and I don’t have any rings or anything, I just… I don’t know. You don’t have to. You can say no, of course. I won’t be mad. I just know you are my future, and I... I want to make that promise to you before I have to act as though you're not.”

       ❝It's no problem,❞ Zane assured him, looking from Matt to Lei, watching as he slowly swallowed more tea. Something warm unfurled in his chest as he took in the scene — Matt's body language loose, his features softening as he held Lei against his chest. The way Lei too was incredibly relaxed and comfortable, easily complying as Matt gently encouraged him to drink. Zane let his gaze drop, clearing his throat quietly. ❝Taking care of people is what I'm here for, after all.❞ That was what he cared about more than anything — that those who came to him got the care they needed, no matter who they were.

       Then a low, warm chuckle escaped him, as the idea of seeing Matt's entire face somehow making Zane lose interest was ... unimaginable. ❝Good to know. But I can assure you ...❞ he paused, glancing up again to allow his dark eyes to sweep over Matt's features appreciatively. ❝My interest has only increased. So, you don't need to worry about that.❞

       Zane quieted as Matt went on, shifting his attention to Lei again as he drank more tea. When he caught the boys' eye, he offered a reassuring smile, nodding encouragingly.

       He shrugged, reaching for his own cup of tea. He took the time to breathe in its scent, savoring the taste as he took another sip. It was incredibly familiar and comforting for him, too. ❝To be fair, I did know the single dad part beforehand, given that you'd mentioned Lei. Now I've gotten to meet him ... even if he's feeling particularly miserable.❞ Zane's tone softened compassionately as he spoke of Lei's current predicament, reaching out to give the boy's shoulder a brief, gentle squeeze. He could only hope that next time ( if there was a next time ) he'd get to meet Lei under better circumstances.

       ❝Everyone has their own baggage, me included. Some people have more than others sure, but ... that's just part of the deal, isn't it? ❞ His gaze lifted from Lei to settle on Matt again, brows lifting with emphasis. ❝People are complicated. No use trying to avoid it, so ... might as well embrace it instead, I think.❞ There was a long pause and Zane's voice lightened a bit, a warm crooked smile curling at his lips. ❝Maybe our baggage will compliment each other, who knows. Personally, I'd like to find out.❞

 “Has it now?” Matt had to admit he was quite taken aback by Zane’s earnestness. But then again, he supposed he had asked for him to be blunt. And he could deal with that, he supposed. What he couldn’t quite handle, at least not without feeling his cheeks burn the tiniest little bit, was the way Zane’s eyes had suddenly swept over him. It wasn’t uncomfortable, but it certainly did make it obvious that things had shifted significantly in the matter of a few minutes.

 Clearing his throat, he grabbed his own cup and took a few sips just so he had an excuse not to look at the other. He really had no one else to blame but himself, did he?

 Then the attention turned to Lei, and Matt had to admit he was kind of glad. “Yeah, he’s not usually this quiet and well-behaved, I’m afraid.” Looking down at Lei, he let out a soft chuckle and briefly let his hand rest on his still burning forehead. Letting out a sigh, he set his own cup back down and instead focused on getting him to drink the remaining tea. “He’s usually much more energetic and full of life. Always causing mischief and giggling about it. Keeps me busy and runs me ragged. It hurts seeing him like this.”

 Glancing up at Zane as he talked about baggage, Matt couldn’t help but feel a pang of guilt. Sure, the other wasn’t wrong. If his circumstances were normal ones—but they weren’t. He couldn’t help but regret opening this door now. Because how exactly did you explain that your baggage wasn’t something like ‘I left a messy marriage or relationship’, but ‘I grabbed my little brother, fled my home and everything I know in order to protect him, then assumed a new identity, because I’m wanted by a criminal empire that won’t stop at anything to drag us back’? That wasn’t exactly your normal conversation now, was it?

 “I doubt it,” he said quietly, his eyes stubbornly fixed on Lei’s flushed, yet pale face. “It’s far more complicated than your usual baggage. I assure you, it’s not worth the trouble, and you want nothing to do with it. So it’s best if you save yourself the trouble. I probably… Shouldn’t have given you hope like that. It was a stupid and unfair thing of me to do. I’m sorry.”

even with him injured, yiseul had never felt safer than when she was tucked under his shoulder, breathing in the scent of him. without her noticing, he had become her sun, his gravity pulling her into his orbit. and that wasn't to say that she was no longer her own person: quite the opposite. she had discovered who she was because his warmth and care had helped her blossom.

she let her eyes drift closed briefly, the low rumble of his voice comforting in spite of him mentioning what was in their future. truth be told, she'd tried not to think about what loomed ahead, doing her best to live in the moment as he'd suggested. but now that they were down to the wire, it was a hard fact to ignore, especially because he was injured and would have to endure a thirteen hour flight in a matter of days. absently, yiseul began to chew on her nail, anxiety kicking in at the very thought of it.

then he mentioned being able to come see her regardless of their future circumstances, and she felt something in her melt. there was part of her that wanted to protest the idea, not wanting him to risk himself just for a few moments together, but she had to admit: she wasn't sure if she would survive the separation otherwise. she would already have a hard time trying to hide her feelings for him; without his light, even minuscule amounts, she would eventually wither in captivity.

"i would like that very much. i don't want to be apart from you." not now, not after they'd found each other. her eyes, however, drifted towards his injury; in her mind, she could still hear the echo of the bullet in the alleyway, the smell of blood as it filled the car.

"but don't risk yourself for me. i don't want you to get hurt. you've done that enough on my behalf."

 Observing as he started chewing on her nail, Long Zhi let out a quiet sigh and reached for her hand to take it into his own. Resting their hands on his chest, he let his thumb caress over the back of hers, his eyes watching the movement lazily.

 “You won’t be,” he assured her, and he meant it. Would he have to tread carefully? Absolutely. He didn’t want to draw any kind of attention that could potentially put their plans at risk, but something had become glaringly obvious to him over the past few days: he couldn’t be without her. So he’d try his best to manipulate the situation if he had to. And given all the trouble Xiao Dan had been willing to go through to get a hold of her, he doubted she’d be kept far away. Perhaps she’d even be in the same house, guarded of course, but there was no one who knew the ins and outs better than him. No one who could blend in more seamlessly into the shadows than him.

 “Yiseul.” He let out a soft sigh and lifted her hand to his moth, kissing the back of it. “I’ll be alright. I won’t push myself too far, I promise.” Besides… Visiting her, regardless of how he’d make it happen, would probably be the least of his worries. He knew that, as soon as they’d be back in San Francisco, his time for rest would be over. Mercy was not something he was ever shown; as a matter of fact, being injured on the job was no one’s fault but your own for not being vigilant enough. Which meant rest was not something you deserved. But that was a fact he preferred to keep from her for now. She’d grow aware of it soon enough, and Long Zhi wasn’t exactly looking forward to it.

 “I was also thinking I could probably get you a phone. That way we can still talk throughout the day. You know, when we can’t see each other. You might have to keep it a secret, and maybe it’s best if you save my number under a different name just to be safe, but… It might help ease the ache a little.”

“I-” What the hell is he supposed to say to that? He doesn’t know if it’s a joke or if it actually bothered Matt that he fought these feelings for so long. He can understand if the man is irritated by it but that doesn’t make it feel any better. “That’s not the type of fighting I was talking about.” Fighting his feelings is kind of his default, even when it’s not fighting feelings for people. 

Robby takes the glass from Matt, falling silent to look down at the brown liquid for a moment before lifting it to his lips to take a sip. Something tells him he needs the liquid courage to calm his nerves, which feel like they’re going haywire right now. 

Why? Why does Matt want someone like him? It’s clear how much of a mess he is, Matt has seen it firsthand. It’s a lot to handle so why would anyone ever want to put themself willingly through the ups and down of that? It feels more lke downs lately than ups. 

He opens his mouth to ask why, only to close it and lift the glass up again to tilt his head back and down his own drink in one quick go. He doesn’t put the glass down, instead seeming to play with it by tilting it this way and that instead.  

Self soothing in that way he tends to do. 

“I’m twice your age.” Robby points out, as if that isn’t pretty damn obvious. “And you could do better than me. Much better.” It’ll only be a matter of time before Matt decides he doesn’t want him anymore. He’ll figure out he’s not worth the trouble, and that’ll be that, leaving Robby utterly heartbroken. 

 “Robby,” Matt said calmly, though there was a certain firmness to his voice. It seemed as though he had unintentionally struck a nerve, or maybe the older man’s nerves were just so on edge right now that he was a bit more sensitive than Matt was used to. “Take a deep breath. It was a joke. A tease. I was just giving you a bit of a hard time, but it seems I missed the mark. I’m sorry.”

 Letting out a sigh, he followed suit and emptied his own glass as well, listening to Robby in silence for a while. Then he let out a soft chuckle and let his gaze rest on the ceiling. “Yeah, I know.” Given his lack of experience, it was quite ironic—and perhaps a bad idea, depending on who you asked—that he’d set his sights on someone so much older. Though it wasn’t exactly as though he’d made the conscious decision to fall for Robby, had he? It had simply happened. “Unfortunately for you, better is incredibly subjective. As far as I’m concerned, you’re one of the best men I’ve ever met. A bit broken, yes. A mess for sure. But those things are easily overshadowed by all of your other qualities. You’re kind and compassionate. Caring and gentle. Hard-working and resilient. I know very few people, if any, who would be willing to sacrifice themselves in the way you have in the name of helping others. So, no. I don’t think I could do better.”

 Standing up straight, Matt set his glass down on the table and closed the gap between them. Taking the glass out of Robby’s hand, he set it down on the table as well, then reached up to cradle the other’s face in his hands. “There’s only one thing in my life I’ve ever walked away from, and I did so to protect Lei. I don’t give up on the people I care about. Not if I can help it.” Then he let one hand drop, and rested it above the other’s heart. “I know it’s not going to be easy. Nothing good ever is. But I don’t intend to break your heart. Nor mine. I just need you to let me prove it.”

       ❝Well, obviously I do have to charge you for any herb mixtures you take with you,❞ Zane conceded, a playful, over exaggerated sigh escaping him. ❝I may own and run the shop now, but ... my father still has the means to enact his wrath on me otherwise. That part I assume you were prepared for, though.❞ He then gestured with the second pouch, the contents he'd used to make the tea he was currently pouring into two cups.

       ❝I do recommend you take this one with you as well, but ... that's up to you. Make Lei a cup of his tea at least once a day until his symptoms subside. And, if you take the second one, do the same for yourself. We'll say these,❞ he picked up the two cups by their handles, raising them slightly with emphasis. ❝Are ... a sample. Because it does take more than just one dose. We can discuss working within your budget. Sound fair? ❞ He too was relieved to see that Lei seemed to be taking to the taste of the tea just fine.

       He approached, holding Matt's gaze with a warm intensity ... after all, now was the first time he'd actually seen him without half his face covered. The upward crooked cant of his mouth, seeming to color his features with a teasing amusement ... it was cute. Once Zane was close enough, he placed their cups of tea on the side table as well. An upward quirk of dark brows for emphasis followed, lips pressing together tightly as he offered a thoughtful nod. It seemed like Matt wasn't against the idea of another man being interested in him, which was in itself a relief.

       ❝Alright, I can do blunt,❞ he said as he grabbed the other chair to place it close to the side table. Zane then sank down into the chair and reached for his own cup of tea, softly blowing on it before taking a sip. ❝It is indeed job-unrelated reasons. I'm interested in you and seem to have an incessant urge to get to know you better,❞ he set his cup down again before resting his elbow on the table, leaning against it. Zane's dark eyes flickered to Matt's features, watching to catch any potential hints of his thoughts.

       ❝I just wasn't sure about where your interests lie, if you catch my meaning. If I'm wrong, well ... I'm sure you can imagine that those situations can often go very badly. Testing the waters is ... safer.❞ The smile that curled at his lips was warm, but as he turned his attention back to his cup of tea, there was a glimpse of uncertainty beneath the surface. He cleared his throat softly, shrugging as he took another sip. ❝Not that it's something I do often, because I very much don't. There's just ... something about you.❞

 “Naturally,” Matt chuckled, fairly certain he would’ve found a way to pay Zane even if he had decided to give it to them for free. After all, the last thing he wanted was to be in someone’s debt, no matter how small it might be. Not that Zane gave off the vibes of being someone who’d use that sort of thing against him, but still. Being in someone’s debt had just never sat right with him.

 “Don’t worry. I think I have the means to afford both of them. I’m not that badly off.” Amused, he picked Lei’s cup back up and made him take a few more sips, while gently rubbing his back. “I do appreciate the sample, though. That’s awfully generous of you.” Setting the cup back down to give Lei a break, he instead picked up the one Zane had just brought over, and took a few, careful sips. Both the taste, and the warmth the tea spread inside of him admittedly provided him with a sense of comfort Matt hadn’t realized he was lacking. It wasn’t anything profound, just… nice.

 Letting out a quiet, somewhat content sigh, he set the cup back down and instead leaned back in his chair. His eyes studied the other closely as he indeed spoke bluntly, listening in silence.

 The whole reason Matt had come here was because he’d been beyond worried about his son and had sought out whatever help he could find. So maybe this was the wrong place and the wrong time to even entertain any of this. Not to mention that pursuing someone, or being pursued by someone was the last thing that should be on his mind right now, given his complicated circumstances. But there was a certain temptation nonetheless.

 “Fair enough,” he finally said, clearing his throat as he dropped his gaze to check on Lei instead. He was flattered, for sure. Even if he wasn’t entirely sure how to deal with that sort of attention despite his somewhat cocky attitude just moments before. The fact he wasn’t entirely uninterested didn’t help, either. “Well—” he started, then focused on getting his son to drink a bit more of the tea first. “I’m sure half of that is just the mysterious aura surrounding me. You know… Given you didn’t get to see my face until now. So perhaps I just destroyed half of that interest. But I don’t think I have any particular preference, if that helps to ease your mind.”

 Really, he shouldn’t be having any kind of preference. “But I’m also a single dad. Which I’m sure you can imagine comes with a whole host of baggage.” ( Not to mention the lies. ) “That sounds like an awful can of worms to open for someone who could certainly find someone easier to place his interests in.”

tension melted off her shoulders with a soft sigh when he conceded to her, willingly letting long zhi pull her to lay down with him. she'd spent the past few hours gearing up for a potential argument, thinking of every point she'd make to combat his stubbornness. it was a relief that he saw reason so readily.

"hush." she pulled the blanket over them, once again ensuring he stayed warm. the truth was, all thought of their plans for the last few days hadn't even crossed her mind. yiseul had only been worried about looking after long zhi and ensuring he didn't catch an infection with the limited supplies they had. everything else was ephemera in comparison.

"i'm exactly where i want and need to be: taking care of you the way you've been taking care of me. you've shown and done so much for me already, and a few missed days isn't going to change that."

soon they would be pulled apart. he would have to become his grandfather's soldier again, while she'd become the same man's puppet. and who knew how much time they'd have together in san francisco before long zhi was able to safely get lei out of that situation. she had to appreciate the time she had left with him before that happened, long zhi had shared the world with her but, in this moment, she didn't want to share him with the world or have his attention even partially divided. this was their last chance to be in their own little universe where no one else could find them.

her arm banded carefully across his torso, careful to avoid his wound, and shifted closer to share her body heat.

"it's okay if our plans fall apart, because all that matters is that we're together."

 The warmth of the blanket was more than welcome, so was Yiseul’s body heat once her body pressed up against his own. He wasn’t used to being cold, quite the opposite. He usually ran quite hot, and now he could understand why she always sought him out in the middle of the night when the temperatures dropped, and the room got a little chillier. As annoying as it could be at times, he couldn’t wait to return to being a glorified space heater.

 Until then, however, he was content to soak up Yiseul’s body heat like a lazy cat liked to soak up the sun.

 “I know, but—” Long Zhi sighed and gave up on whatever argument he was about to bring to the table. For one, he knew it was useless, and two, he knew he wasn’t going to change her mind. Though that didn’t lessen any of the guilt he felt. He’d promised her two weeks, and fell short by several days. The reasons didn’t matter, not really.

 Letting out a quiet sigh, he motioned for her to lift her head for a moment, so he could move his arm underneath her until her head rested against the crook of his shoulder. Playing with her hair, Long Zhi closed his eyes, but had no intention of going back to sleep any time soon. If he was forced to be confined to this damn bed, he at least wanted to make good use of whatever time they did have. “You know… I don’t know what exactly awaits us once we get back. I don’t really know where you’ll be staying, or how difficult it’ll be for me to see you, but… I’ve been thinking about it and… I’m fairly confident I’ll find a way to visit you. Alone.” Turning his head, he kissed the top of her head, then rested his cheek against it. “I know I said we have to be inconspicuous. But I don’t think I can just stay away from you entirely.”

Maddy lifts her glass toward him in a lazy salute, a faint flush warming her cheeks. "I've had exactly enough alcohol to be honest." Her eyes narrow slightly. "Which is probably bad news for both of us."

 Turning his head to look at her, Matt too ka moment to study her, before raising his brows. “Yeah?” he muttered, lifting his own glass to his lips to take a sip; unlike her, apparently, this was only his second glass. He’d never been much of a drinker, and even less so now that he was working for her, preferring his senses sharp, rather than dulled. “And why’s that? You worried you’re gonna tell me some juicy secrets?”

yiseul was quiet as she retrieved an electrolyte drink for him, making sure he had a secure grip on the bottle before popping the straw in for his comfort. even when he mentioned leaving, she said nothing for a beat, carefully removing his bandages to inspect the wound before cleaning the area and applying fresh gauze.

she'd known in her heart that he'd want to leave, even as she'd hoped he would be too exhausted to think about it. yiseul knew enough about long zhi's character to know he would choose to push himself for the perception of safety rather than for actual safety. his determination was one of the reasons why she loved him so fiercely, though she also vaguely understood the circumstances that caused that trait. but now it was becoming dangerous, and the last thing she wanted was him risking his life any further just to protect her.

throughout her life, yiseul had always tried to be agreeable, to do as she was told and exceed expectations. being compliant meant you didn’t hurt and there'd always been a small part of her that had hoped it would eventually lead to someone loving her the way she'd always dreamed. now she'd found that love —– not because she was agreeable, but because she was simply herself —– and there was very little she wouldn't do to keep it.

even if that meant being disagreeable and obstinate.

once she was finished with the bandages, yiseul snapped off her gloves and tossed them in the pile of discarded gauze, then sat on the edge of the bed next to long zhi.

"you can barely keep your eyes open and i can tell even the smallest movements hurt you." yiseul snapped off her gloves and tossed them into the pile of discarded gauze, then perched on the edge of the bed next to long zhi. gently, she took one of his hands in hers, interlacing their fingers.

"your body needs rest and time to recover. pushing yourself is only going to delay that," or worse, she added to herself, pressing a kiss to the back of his hand, letting her lips linger.

"if they find us here or three hours from now, we'll still be in the same position, and i'm not going to let you die trying to protect me. so you might as well lay back down and let me take care of you for a few more days."

 Sipping on his drink, he did his best to sit up as straight as possible, so she could work on the bandages without too much trouble. Though he did sneak in a glance at his wound, and couldn’t help a quiet sigh. It was still red and angry-looking, which… Honestly wasn’t too surprising. Given the circumstances, he was lucky enough if it didn’t get infected. Even if Yiseul was currently playing the role of his nurse exceptionally well.

 Whenever she was done, he set down the half-drunken bottle and readied himself to slide off of the bed when she sat down next to him. “It’s really not that bad,” he lied, more so out of habit, rather than a want to lie to her. Just like him, she was incredibly perceptive, and even if he hadn’t been so obvious about the pain and exhaustion, she most likely would’ve picked up on it. Which meant that excuses were entirely useless—she’d just see right through them.

 And before Long Zhi could argue his point, she beat him with, admittedly, much more valid points.

 Dropping his gaze, he let out a sigh. Everything inside of him screamed to get the hell out of here. To leave and seek out a better hiding place. To put more distance between them and their last known location. But he knew Yiseul was right. He could barely keep his eyes open, and he’d be no use in a physical fight in his state. Getting into the car and driving for a few hours would serve them very little; the only thing it would do is put their lives at risk, because he couldn’t guarantee he wouldn’t fall asleep behind the wheel. Not to mention that it’d only exhaust him even further.

 So, finally, he nodded his head. “Alright,” he muttered, slowly lying back down again and, thanks to her still holding on to his hand, pulling Yiseul along with him. He remained quiet for a few moments, studying her hand as he let his thumb caress the back of it. “I’m sorry. The last thing I wanted was for us to spend the last few days we have holed up in a shitty motel room. You deserve better than that.” Dropping their hands, he turned to look up at her. “I’ll make up for it somehow.”