feedist friendly eating disorder recovery @feedistfriendlyrecovery - Tumblr Blog

If I started a blog or a discord server or whatever dedicated to feedists, gainers, FAs etc in ED recovery, would anyone else be interested?

It would be a judgement free space focused on body positivity and/or neutrality (some people may have preferences for different approaches), harm reduction, eating and weight gain approaches without capacity shaming, and general discussion around EDs without fatshaming or the assumption people with disordered eating behaviours do so because they want to be skinny.

I know there's a lot of us out there where these kinks and our eating disorders intersect and I think a space dedicated to discussing this would be beneficial. So what do people think?

feedistfriendlyrecovery

Haven't received much feedback but I would make this blog anyway. New pinned will come soon (WIP) but in the meantime here's some rundown:

You can call me "Noodles". 29 years old, in recovery for a restrictive eating disorder, fat admirer who's also interested in gaining and feedism but focusing first and foremost on recovery.

Blog thesis is stated above. Because this blog discusses kink it's therefore 18+

Icon is a picture of a halal snack pack (HSP), an Australian kebab shop staple that's one of my favourite foods and being able to eat and enjoy it without shame was one of the cornerstones of my recovery.

#intro #pinned

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fatliberation

Health at Every Size doesn't mean "everyone is healthy at every size." It means everyone has a right to pursue healthcare without weight loss.

It's important to talk about how societal fatphobia causes eating disorders. But I think we need to go further than that. We can't just say "the world is fatphobic and that drives a majority of eating disorders" and leave it at that, because it downplays the role individuals have in encouraging eating disorders.

Eating disorders don't happen just because someone hears a lot of diet talk on TV or follows skinny celebrities promoting tummy teas on Instagram or some shit like that. So often eating disorders start because parents shame their kids for eating too much, or doctors express faux concern about a patient's weight and prioritise weight loss over health, or friends praise accidental weight loss caused by ill health or addiction or lack of resources and people fear the reaction they'll get when the weight is gained back, etc etc.

Fatphobia causes so many eating disorders, but it's not just a symptom of a cruel society at large. Individuals play a huge role in encouraging eating disorders, either accidentally or sometimes on purpose (let's not forget Jeanette McCurdy's damning memoir, I'm Glad My Mom Died, and I know from talking to other people who shall remain anonymous about their EDs and what caused them that she's not an isolated case).

Avoiding the fact that fatphobic individuals play a role in encouraging eating disorders makes it easier to victim blame, it's part of what causes people to think eating disorders themselves are inherently fatphobic and that everyone with an ED therefore must hate fat people. There's only so much targeted fatphobia a person can experience before they relent to the pressure an individual or multiple individuals place on them.

"Societal fatphobia causes eating disorders" yes, and society is made of individuals.

#fatphobia #eating disorders

One piece of harm reduction knowledge that never gets brought up and I wish was talked about more, because it's relevant to my own ED experiences, is that restricting and/or purging while drinking heavily puts you at a much higher risk of developing something called Korsakoff's Syndrome. It's a type of dementia almost exclusively caused by a combination of alcoholism and lack of nutrition.

As well as all the usual symptoms of dementia it can also cause you to replace memories with fabricated ones and to hallucinate. Depending on how much you're drinking and how much you're restricting, you can develop it quite young. Because I was drinking heavily at the height of my ED, I am now at an increased risk of Korsakoff's Syndrome. And this scares me.

This was in part thanks to a fatphobic doctor who prioritised me "losing my beer belly" over tackling my alcoholism and praised weight loss regardless of how I achieved it. But if you're an alcoholic with a beer belly, that beer belly could be saving you from cognitive decline.

So if you have problems with alcohol dependence, like I did, you should prioritise eating when you drink. It doesn't matter what it is you eat, it doesn't matter if alcohol is causing weight gain (as it often does). You are at a much higher risk of developing early onset dementia if you drink a lot and don't eat enough.

Diet culture will shame people for craving greasy, carb heavy "junk" food when drunk, but a big burger or a juicy kebab after you drink is so so much better for you and your mind than drinking without eating.

If you aren't at the point where ED recovery feels possible, or you're just starting recovery, try to limit your restriction and/or purging to days that you don't drink. And the more you drink, the more you should eat.

#ed recovery #eating disorder recovery #harm reduction #ed harm reduction #alcohol harm reduction #addiction #alcoholism

Server should be up in the next few days!

#miscellaneous

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funnier-as-a-feedist

random thought but i wish i saw more abt how to cope with experiencing fatphobia. not just how to find good doctors but also how to increase your own confidence. my body is made with love but my brain is anxious abt being treated differently. i love my body yet theres so much shame around gaining on purpose and i wish there was more advice on how to cope with the anxiety and also with experiencing discrimination cuz both really suck

Yeah 🫂 it does suck. I'm sorry. I think the biggest thing to do in the face of discrimination is to get involved with your community! Overcoming your own insecurities is good and important, but when you have messaging from media and society 24/7 saying you're worthless, even the most confident person can still be shaken. Surround yourself with fat friends! Follow fat people on social media! When you have other people around you that look like you, you feel like less of a freak. And seeing how other fat people deal with the abuse they get on a daily basis is really validating and makes you feel less alone. Not all fat people will be accepting of a feedist (sadly), and feedism communities might be more difficult to find irl, but there are strength in numbers. There are good resources out there about how to deal with fatphobia specifically! It might be tough to find them, but if you give me specific questions, I'll dig through the Internet and find an answer/see if I have knowledge on the subject to provide an answer myself/leave it open to my followers for their additions. I love you and you're not alone!

funnier-as-a-feedist

Im feeling kind of weird right now, and id appreciate some feedback if youd be willing to give it to me.

I see a lot of feedists and feedees talking about their goals revolving how much theyre hoping to be able to eat in the future, and how they progress to that point. I love the goals, but it also makes me feel quite invalid personally, as (to put a long story short,) I ended up getting very ill and now have a stomach that can only hold MAYBE 6oz of solid food on a good day, due to surgery.

I guess what I’m trying to ask is, do you have any suggestions on how to deal with this odd insecurity? Im not even particularly a feedee, and am more into feeding a partner, but i still worry about this frequently. Have you come across other feedists/feedees with a similar issue?

Thank you:)

I'm sorry you feel like this 😞 it's definitely not a prerequisite of feedism to be able to consume a large quantity of food. I can see why it would bring feedees pride to be able to do so, but there's no point in shaming others who can't- for any reason, including medical. I have encountered other feedists who have capacity limitations that bring them insecurity- specifically, I had one in my inbox asking how they could increase their capacity, but that's not possible for everyone. I'm not sure how to make you feel better about it, other than to say that you're not less of a feedist for not being able to eat huge amounts. If you experience a full sensation after 6 oz of food, maybe you have it better than the rest of us for needing a large quantity to feel stuffed? Lol food is expensive and I bet there are some feedees that would trade a tiny stomach to feel full quicker if they could keep the weight. 🫂 Everyone has their own strengths and I'm sure there's something awesome you can do that a majority of others can't!

#i hope this is okay to reblog to this blog #you're not alone in feeling insecure about how much you can eat anon <3 #and I think this answer is really affirming for anyone who has less capacity for whatever reason

thelightfluxtastic

I have a research background in weight stigma and I currently work in mental health, often with LGBTQ+ clients.

I've met nonbinary people who struggle with disordered eating because they only ever see androgyny depicted as featureless thinness.

I've met trans women who struggle with disordered eating because they've internalized the idea that girls are meant to be thin, dainty, and delicate.

I've men trans men who struggle with disordered eating, because they feel women are allowed to be soft/curvy but men need to be muscular or thin and flat.

So many trans people are convinced that weight loss is the key to appearing as their desired gender, even when they want radically different gender presentations.

The societal idealization of thinness and fatphobia falsely invades and derails people's idea of what their "ideal body" should look like.

thisisthinprivilege

The social effects of privileging thinness are so damaging. Like, it's hard enough to deviate from expected gender roles and binary sexuality but now fat people have to do it on hard mode

thelightfluxtastic

This post has kind of exploded and my heart is with everyone in the notes sharing their struggles with this trap.

But to the folks "yes, but-"ing it with statements like 'I know this trend is bad but I just want to be skinny for my own/personal/completely unrelated reasons', I am asking you to take five minutes to consider why that is.

I'm not your therapist, doctor, or dietician. I can't say what is best for your mental and physical health. But take a moment to think: why all your 'gender goals' celebrities or fictional characters are skinny? Why can't a man/woman/nonbinary person look like you? Why is it hard to imagine transitioning in your own body type?

And I say that not from a place of judgement! I've been there- some days I am still there. Even with all my academic background, even with examples/role models of fat nonbinary people, even with years chipping away at internalized fatphobia, I've had to grapple with "But I want to look like [generic paper doll/anime character/celebrity/thin person]".

You are not immune to propaganda. And also, you are just as capable of learning body positivity/acceptance while still transitioning.

You deserve to feel gender euphoria in and with your body type and size.

Sexualising your eating can be really liberating when you're recovering from an ED, but it's still okay if eating feels sexy sometimes and like a chore at other times. It doesn't make you a fake feedist if it's not always a turn on to eat. You just gotta make sure you're still eating when it does feel like a chore. And no, I don't mean you gotta suck it up and focus on gains, I mean you gotta make sure you have enough fuel to keep you going. You cannot rely on horniness alone to motivate you to eat.

#feedism #eating disorder recovery #ed recovery

garden-hose-obesity

If you identify as a feeder or encourager, I’m BEGGING you to operate with a realistic understanding of the human body.

There are a ton of different things I see said that make me roll my eyes, but here are a few that have stuck with me over the years:

“You should eat so much that you gain five pounds tonight”

Friend. That’s not how bodies work. The amount of weight you can actually gain in one day is different for everyone, but it’s pretty safe to use the rule of thumb: 1lb per day maximum. Weight gain is caused by consistent calorie surpluses, not so much by occasional overindulgence. If you want someone to grow, encourage them every day, not just once in a while when you’re horny.

This one isn’t a specific quote, but eating goals that are unclear or unrealistic. “Mmm, keep eating. Yup. Keep going.” Okay. To what end? “You’re going to eat three extra large pizzas” no, I’m not. “How about 5,000 calories for a light snack?” You’re out of your fucking mind. It sends such a clear message that you have no clue what you’re doing when you interact with feedees like this.

“I want you to eat so much that your belly button goes from an innie to an outie”

Nope. Not even close to a thing that happens. If it does, you probably have a hernia. Or you have some other condition that has caused fluid buildup.

“Wow, you’re almost 300lbs? You’re gonna need a scooter once you get there”

What? I’m less than 25lbs away from 300 and I walked MILES in downtown, hilly Seattle last weekend. There are literally 500lb gainers who are walking (waddling) around with relatively few troubles. Please understand that when a gain happens gradually, mobility is far less impacted than in extremely quick gains. Also, I’m six feet tall. I can seriously pass for an average build in public if I want to. Please work on understanding how weight works on people.

This isn’t to call out any specific person. It’s just so important that feedees feel seen, safe, and comfortable. Otherwise… we’re not having fun. And when you severely misestimate our capacity, mobility, or general human body operations, it’s concerning. It’s clear you don’t interact much with feedees, and it’s a huge red flag.

garden-hose-obesity

Relevant tags from @vampiricgut

#adding to this because obviously my focus is recovery for feedists with EDs #these unrealistic expectations and the idea that everyone who wants to gain can devote themselves full time to it #also neglects those of us recovering from EDs #because a lot of people turn to feedism as freedom and comfort when recovering from EDs #but we can't be expected to completely recover all of our disordered habits overnight #that doesn't mean we're in two minds about the kink. it means that we're recovering from an insidious mental illness #and telling everyone who's interested in feedism or gaining that they have to chug heavy cream every night #or that they're obligated to gain 5 kgs in a week (sorry. Australian. don't understand imperial) or 30kg in a year #is not only completely unrealistic but it's also not compassionate

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One thing I've posted about on my non kink/ED related blog that I'm sure people can relate to is how aggravating it is that fatspo means what it does and doesn't actually refer to people you look up to as weight gain goals. Fatspo SHOULD mean "look at this gorgeous fat person, I wanna be them so bad" but it doesn't and that makes me so mad. But also I mentioned a specific niche celebrity that only I'm obsessed with, who gained weight for an acting role and never lost it, as a fat person I look up to. So I can't share it here. Which sucks because he looked sooooo good when he got fat.

#miscellaneous

Okay so people are really interested in a Discord server for feedists etc with lived experience with EDs or people allied to both feedism and fat lib centred ED recovery. I am too, and I really wanna set one up but I need to think about how it would be set up and I'm opening calls for anyone who would like to help mod, preferably someone who isn't smallfat like I am, because I think it would be weird to just have it run by a smallfat.

BUT since I'm also in the final stages of enrolling and preparing for university (exciting!) this might take a few days. If anyone has suggestions on what kind of channels they'd like, I'd love to hear from you (selfishly I also think we should have a pets channel, amongst other more important ones, obviously).

Anyway I gotta go make more calls to my uni. Love youse ❤️

#feedism #ed recovery #eating disorder recovery

queeranarchism

Let me settle the 'is it fetishism and is it bad?' debate once and for all:

Being attracted to any kind of body is normal. Fat bodies. Trans bodies. Disabled bodies. All normal. Being extra attracted to a specific kind of body is normal too. Totally normal to have a type.

Not unlearning the societal stigma attached to those kinds of bodies, the people who inhabit those bodies, and the people who fuck them, to the point where you do any of the following:

Only want to date/fuck the person in secret.

Reduce the person to the feature that you desire and ignore the rest of who they are as a person.

Expect the person to be a walking porn fantasy instead of a real person with their own sexual preferences and boundaries.

Would no longer love the person if the stigmatized aspect of their body changed.

Consider yourself superior to the person, think the person should be 'grateful' that you love their body, etc.

See the person as a temporary adventure while planning to eventually settle down with someone whose body isn't stigmatized.

Is bad and harmful and you shouldn't be dating anyone until you've worked on your shit, because this makes you a very terrible partner. This doesn't mean you are a bad person with bad-fetishist-desires who can only desire people badly, it means you need to unlearn societal stigma so you can be a better partner to the people you desire.

Thank you for coming to me ted talk.

angel-in-your-basement

Life is too short to have sex you don’t like. Be gross, be weird, don’t do it at all if it’s not for you. Expand your definition of sex. Remove yourself from things that don’t feel good. Find positions and kinks and toys that work for you. Don’t let anyone tell you that sex needs to happen a certain way or happen at all. Orgasms are optional. Involving your genitals is optional. Everything is optional. Do what you like to do and respect what other people do and don’t like to do. Good sex doesn’t make you feel bad about yourself. You deserve to have pleasure in ways that work for you.

Don't beat yourself up for feeling shame over wanting to gain weight. Don't beat yourself up for feeling shame when you do gain weight. It's not fatphobic to have complicated feelings about your own weight gain, even when you really desire it. Societal fatphobia is pervasive and ever present, it makes sense that people internalise the attitudes society grills into them.

It's only fatphobic when you weaponise your own feelings of shame against others or make value judgements about other people based on their weight, their eating habits, or their kink (if they're fellow feedists). It's completely understandable to feel guilt and shame about your own body when we live in a world that encourages fatphobic bias and the complicated emotions you may feel regarding your own body and your own kink experience don't make you a bad person.

#ed recovery #eating disorder recovery #fatphobia #feedism #weight gain

•18+ Adults Only

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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funnier-as-a-feedist

Hey Honey!

I'm asking you because you have way more followers than me and I wanted to put it them. I notice a lot of overlap between feedists and people in ED recovery but that regular ED recovery spaces don't really acknowledge or understand how or why these intersect. And some feedist spaces aren't as sympathetic to those in recovery as others (definitely not people like you, but there's some capacity shaming from some feedists, and misconceptions have been posted by some blogs that having an ED are inherently fatphobic which just isn't true).

I was thinking of maybe making a feedist friendly and fat liberationist ED recovery blog so people had a space to discuss how the two intertwine and could feel like they had a judgement free zone to discuss both weight gain and ED recovery.

What would you and your followers think of this idea?

Hope you're having an amazing day ❤️

That sounds great and I think there's definitely a need for more blogs like this!

feedistfriendlyrecovery

Okay I ended up making the blog anyway! If anyone wants to tell what they'd like to see on the blog feel free to send me an ask! I might not answer everything right away because it's way past my bedtime (#thatAESTlife) and I really should try and sleep 😅 but I'm open to suggestions. Full disclosure I'm far from an expert on every ED experience, but I'm an ED survivor and feedist myself and I wanna create a safe space for anyone else who shares this experience :D

ed-recovery-affirmations

People who make comments about your eating habits or your weight are universally a safefood, jsyk. So if anyone's making nasty comments I hope you don't feel hesitant to eat them.

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