dear sirs, there are Lads in the river

woahhhh a floor beef clover it must be my yucky day

Person in the grocery store had amazon rainforest sounds blasting on their phone as they shopped and I think that's a beautiful use of free will

"people who don't wear headphones in public are a nuisance" except this one. I respect their indomitable human spirit

once you notice half of all memes are just a picture of a black person with unrelated text over them you really cannot unsee it

printers behave like that because the medieval monks they put out of work are haunting them

I really hated this girl in my class and we kept exchanging notes with various threats of violence on them but then on a Zoom call I saw that she kept a bunch of them pinned on her wall with little hearts around them and I got the biggest crush on her after that.

Careful, Odysseus. Polyphemus might be blinded, but he's still strong. Make sure he doesn't call for reinforcements, or you'll be in trouble.

Watch out, Odysseus. Circe's magic is stronger than you think. Press the X button when she starts charging up her pig blast, or you'll be turned into sliced ham!

a thing about me is i basically never notice a wig or other kind of hairpiece in tv/movies. it has to be party city territory for me to even twig it. people will complain about characters' wigs looking bad and i will nod along but there is like a 90% chance i did not notice for a second while watching. i consider this mostly a blessing.