For all of HOTD's faults, they did capture lightning in a bottle with Gwayne Hightower.
Prissy nobleman comes to King's Landing to join a war. His actual motives were to wave his Hightower dick at the commonborn Dornishman who dared steal his father's position as Hand and seems to think he's worthy enough to get close to his fair and noble sister, the Queen.
Turns out war isn't a dick-measuring contest. It's not a tourney; you can't just stop at an inn whenever you want. Criston shows Gwayne how serious real battle is and saves his ass by doing so. Little by little, he earns Gwayne's respect by being a competent commander and knight.
When Gwayne finds out he's sleeping with his sister, he's floored by how Criston doesn't seem to see it as an achievement, as a prize — Criston doesn't throw it in his face that he has the Queen's favor. He meets Gwayne's overt and violent display of masculine overprotectiveness with docile submission. Dick-measuring contest denied once again, and Gwayne is forced to sit with himself, his feelings, and Criston's feelings.
If Criston isn't a competitor, then he must be a friend, right?
Gwayne starts seeing Criston more and more as an equal and less as someone he has to cow. He began this journey wanting to remind this Dornishman his place, but Gwayne realized that Criston was already hyperaware of his place and he himself, sheltered pampered Reachman that he was, was the one who had to reminded of his.
He starts referring to Criston more by his title of Hand and Lord Commander with less sarcasm and more sincerity.
And for a moment, maybe Criston himself starts to believe Gwayne sees him as an equal. When he talks about wanting to show him Oldtown, it almost sounds like that.
But then the word "service" comes out of Gwayne's mouth.
He meant no harm by it; he probably didn't think much of that word at all. That was simply what came naturally to him. And that's the tragedy of it. Even when he himself respects and sees Criston as an equal and a friend, his mouth has been conditioned to always refer to him as a servant.
Maybe he realizes this when Criston tells him why he had to decline his offer of sanctuary. Maybe that's why he cries, realizing the mistake far too late. Maybe if he had more tact and less pride, less arrogance, he could have saved him.
Gwayne returns to Tumbleton a changed man, no longer the prissy nobleman asking to stop at an inn in the middle of a war. He's filthy when he stands in front of the head of his House.
Perhaps this is the first time he sees Ormund for what he is. He always thought Ormund clever in the ways of war, but he believed that of himself until he was actually on the battlefield. Gwayne bristles when Ormund calls Criston a "dim Dornishman" when before he wouldn't have even registered it.
Worse part is maybe he also sees who he was in Ormund and becomes more ashamed of himself for it. He doesn't even want to stay anymore to help, disillusioned he is by war, and he can't bear to look at his own reflection.
But like Alicent asking him to join Criston's army to watch over him, Daeron does the same. Stay and watch over him. I am afraid what he might become if he's alone.
He thought Alicent meant that Criston would become a monster if left to his own devices. The reality was he wasn't keeping an eye on him to prevent him from hurting others, but from hurting himself.
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