I was trying to find my partners old email so he could access his old YouTube account. Instead I found a 15 year anniversary email from Livejournal. I forgot I even had one. It started in January 2011 and I found photos I’ve never seen before. Photos of my childhood home being listed, my old room and table set up and screenshots of old conversations with old friends. I had deleted a blogspot before it and created livejournal in January 2011. Started this tumblr in June 2011.
I was most caught off guard by a post describing my best friends during that time. Jordon, Julie, Leigh and Darren. I always looked back at Darren with respect but forgot the reason why. It was eye opening realising that he was actually there for me through my parents seperating, my childhood home selling, he was the first person I confided in about my feelings towards another friend and my depression.
People have varying opinions about him. I understand it now but back then he never explained to me what happened between him and Caroline. For me, I'll always respect him despite the way he left. He just told me one day he wasn't going to be around anymore and deleted me.
I joke about it now about how he was the first guy who ever ghosted me and ever since I did the same to other people. It was an unexpected trip down memory lane. I haven’t thought about him in over a decade but it was still crazy to see. He’s become an anecdote. Reduced to the guy who did that ‘shocking’ thing in highschool but younger me begs to differ.
"I've only known him for months, but I've already told him some of my deepest darkest secrets. I've only known him for months... and I already trust him. Normally, for me I don't trust very easily. I guess theres just something about him. He's open about everything, he's taught me things about promises, he's weird, he's unique, he's just something I really cant describe. I remember when I told him that I *** myself, He reacted in a way no one ever did, he rarely even knew me, but he still blew my mind. He asked me why, he got pissed, he got annoyed, he told me not to do it, he told me if i needed a hug just to ask him. That moment, was the moment, I started to consider him as a best friend." - January 12, 2011
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