﹙NATURAL.﹚

so. why i stopped rping in the first place? several reasons. 

i was not on prozac and felt very sad very easily. 

i got bored with my portrayal of n for... a lot of reasons... stagnancy being one of the more major issues though. i wrote myself into a corner in many many ways and it sucked.

felt like i had to keep the same Basic N Concept that i made when i was... 17... because even though my n was now complex, it was still using the base from then and i wouldn’t be able to deviate from that without basically having to start over again and i felt like i shouldn’t/couldn’t do that and that just felt very awful all the time

why am i coming back now? well i have to be honest here it’s mostly swsh that even put this drive into me in the first place, but the reason i’m actually following the impulse instead of dismissing it is for a few reasons:

i stopped when i was an emotionally unstable teenager and now i am adequately medicated and no longer a teenager 

every attempt i have made to rp off of tumblr has fizzled out in one way or another and it’s Absolute Torment. i have been bored for months on end. i’m emotionally stable but still occasionally don’t get out of bed because i just don’t have anything to do so there isn’t any point. it is hell and i want out 

raihan is really really really hot

what am i going to do now that i’m back and what’s gonna change?

i’m not gonna rp this edition of n again. we had some good times and all but he’s staying in 2018. i’m not even gonna call it “resetting” him, because that’d imply i’m returning him to the base n i started with back in 2017 and... uh... no, no we are not doing that. new n. brand new. sorry to anyone i had established stuff with, and sorry to anyone who finds that they preferred my old n, but Mr Griffin Just Can’t Do This Shit No More 

i’m still kinda workshopping new n, but i also know who he’s gonna be, just not sure like. where in the timeline he’s at. new n is a version of n that i only scarcely got to Try Out For Maybe 4 Posts when i was still active on here. new n is a lot more distant and aloof, depressed as shit all the time, inexpressive and unintentionally intimidating. fresh new boy. traumatised as hell and very lonely. that’s our new n

i will be making a fresh new blog, because although i’m not going back to the portrayal i used on here/enharmonics, i also don’t wanna delete everything, yknow? i am gonna use this url though

there’s a good chance that i’ll be making a raihan as well, though i’m not sure when, nor am i 100% sure that i’ll go through with it but let’s face it i probably will. i’m at the very least barring myself from that until i’ve actually finished swsh, because i haven’t actually done that yet, because despite the fact that i’ve been ready to go fight leon for days now i have not felt Ready, not because my pokemon aren’t strong enough they’re actually severely and accidentally overleveled no it’s because i don’t feel mentally or emotionally prepared i have had the game since the day it came out and i’ve logged 68 hours of gameplay and it was only a few days ago i beat the semifinals and finals and rose and have not advanced the plot at all since then

changes to my rules are imminent, and since i’ve just seen my mun page and realized how outdated it is i feel like i oughta note: if you haven’t already guessed, mr griffin is me. my name is griffin. calling me n is cool too but like my NAME-name is griffin. i sorta figured i was already going by griffin by the time i stopped using this blog but nope and honestly i am not fully sure why i assumed that

things i think i should note:

my family and i are moving sometime this month, it’s roughly an hour and a half drive to the new place and the date we’re planning on officially moving in is only a few days before christmas, so things are probably going to be kinda busy for me

i might look into applying for college once we get there and things have settled down a tad