Time Is Such A Stubborn Thing

halo lore is so fucking funny to me. all it really needed to be was 'youre john halo and youre a badass space marine that doesnt afraid of anything' but instead youre a war orphan created by the space CIA to be a robo-pinkerton to put down galactic worker revolts, but luckily whole hordes of you were created right in time for the most evil alien empire to ever exist to make first contact with us by nuking a planet to glass

also, the evil alien empire isnt doing this because theyre evil, their trio of space popes asked an ancient sacred AI what the fuck humans were and the ai was like 'oh those are ants that god loves more than you' and the popes immediately decided the only way to keep their cushy jobs and big dumb hats was to annihilate the human race. it almost worked, too! luckily, one of the robo-pinkertons is so freakishly lucky an AI noticed the statistical anomalies surrounding him and took him in as her favorite little meow meow and now they have a toxic co-dependent relationship and are going to nuke alien new york

I hate that when you’re stressed enough your body just starts falling apart. I think it should realize you’re already stressed and don’t need that and start functioning better actually

The part of your brain that's dealing with stress remembers when we were lizards and it's convinced that you can escape all your problems if it can just make a limb fall off.

Since the Ocarina of Time remake is coming out next year, I have one more secret I have to share with you. I think the Forest Temple is worse than the Water Temple

On a similar note, I think all of the Majora's Mask dungeons are uh not good. They're really where you can tell the game took a year to make

women are like diamonds: synthetically-produced women are not meaningfully different from naturally-formed women, and anyone trying to tell you otherwise is probably trying to justify keeping their women mines open

Christian babies have so far not found a purpose or use outside of baseball

Big fan of calling male characters babygirls but I think we should start calling female characters babyboys too

I’ve seen people on here rail separately against calling male characters babygirls and calling female characters little guys, and while I think they’ve correctly identified a problem (“girl” has sexual or demeaning or childish connotations while “guy” is an example of masculine-as-neutral-default) I don’t think the answer is to get more essentialist in our language use but rather to freak it up more. he’s just a little gal. she’s my sweet baby boy. she’s my boyfriend. he’s my special girlie. she’s my beautiful husband.