Time Is Such A Stubborn Thing

Bear religion probably fucking rocks. You're a fucking bear, you're the deadliest thing on earth, once a year an endless supply of salmon just flings itself up the river to gorge on and then you nap for 3 months.

The most delicious food in the world is protected by tiny demons who can defend it from everyone except you. Your natural armor is thick enough that you can just eat the damn hive while they buzz around you. God's chosen animals right there

love the idea of bears being the chosen species actually. having a near death experience and glimpsing heaven and realising it's just full of bears, no humans at all, humans not ensouled actually, humans an accidental byproduct of God's plan for bears

girl is that a knife in your hand or are you jerking off your sharp detachable penis in my stomach

I see how it is. Rihanna can wear a shiny, completely transparent dress in public and everyone loves it, but when I did it, I was “wasting saran wrap” and “ruining Easter, Daniel.”

This post is transmisogynistic. Literally you could have just left out the name and it would have been a harmless joke but, alas, man in a dress punchline, hilarious

ten years on I’m finally comfortable publicly making fun of this person who called me transmisogynistic for using my own name to refer to myself in a joke post, because they thought the joke was that I was a man wearing women’s clothing, and not that I showed up to a religious holiday with my dick fully visible. Happy easter, everyone!

I love calves because the whole group was having their evening zoomies and Iris slipped and tumbled down the hill and then just continued zooming and then when Tuxedo was running down the hill he did a donkey kick which is not advisable when you’re running down a hill and he also tumbled

Thank god they decided to make more

But In doing so…she created her biggest enemy…Jolene