Bby Capri

1. a tweet from @/keefler-elf reading: “‘how’s your new job’ well it’s a job and i have to work there and do work at it so it’s actually terrible thank u for asking”.

2. a meme of Spongebob Squarepants sitting on his bed and crying, captioned, “Let’s.... get this.... bread”

3. a tweet from @/miraslurp reading, “’fuck this job’ *goes to work*”

4. a screenshot of a WikiHow article titled, “How to negotiate a higher salary”. The image underneath it is a drawing of one person roundhouse kicking another person in the face.

5. a tumblr post from @NatalieIronside reading: “‘Where do you see yourself in 5 years’ just chilling hopefully”

6. a black and white photo of an Asian person sitting in a chair on the beach looking out at the water. It’s captioned: “born to vibe, forced to work”

7. a tweet from @/eshoper49 reading: “s/o to everyone doing the bare minimum at your job, strive to do less <3 “

8. a screenshot of a TikTok where a black person has their head in their hands. The text above them reads: “When you text him ‘I hate my fucking job’ but he replies ‘You got this’ instead of telling you to quit and he’ll take care of you from now on.”

9. a tweet from @/clintoris reading: “girl who gets mad when ppl ask her to do her job”.

10. a photo of Bernie Sanders standing at a podium next to a large white board. The text on the board has been edited to say: “I simply do not want to do it anymore I’m tired”.

Righteous Dune covers by Jim Tierney

Includes: Erwin, Eren, Levi, Jean, & Zeke

Warnings: Like, spoilers for season 3

A/N: I'M BACK WITH CRACK AT THE REQUEST OF MY WIFE, @ginsspitting, I based this off of their season 4 personalities despite me never seeing season 4, so she also helped me with Zeke's

Erwin

Him:

You:

• He'll leisurely put his dick away and ask you how your day was, all with a smile

• He'll completely gloss over it like it never happened

• However, you're having an existential crisis

• Did you...imagine it? Perhaps it was all a mirage

• Maybe you're hallucinating. No, no it was a trick of the lights. You definitely didn't just see your commanding officer jerking off in his office

• Honestly, I could also see him asking you to join him, again, all with a smile

Levi

Him:

You:

• This poor, poor man

• He can never know a second of peace

• He's not even shocked. He just releases a long sigh

• He's just...so tired

• You, on the other hand, are outta that bitch

• You're gone like the wind, baby. He can't punish you if he can't catch you. (He definitely catches you anyway.)

Eren

Him:

You:

• He's a fucking degenerate

• Most likely to keep going like you aren't even there

• He's a mix of emotions. He's both utterly unbothered and filled to the brim with angst

• That being said, you are appalled. If you had pearls you would be clutching them

• He won't even say anything. He'll just stare at you with cold, dead eyes all without breaking his rhythm

• He might even go faster

Zeke

Him:

You:

• Idk If it runs in the family or what, but similar to Eren, he's pretty unbothered by the whole thing

• But instead of continuing, like his feral little brother, he'll just push his glasses up while he holds his dick completely still in his other hand

• “Woah Woah Woah, try knocking next time. What if I have a heart attack with my dick in my hands? That’d be humiliating. Hey, while you're here, do you wanna do your best friend in the whole wide world a favor and kneel in front of me? It would really help with the clean-up...This is the part where you say yes. 😐"

• You're caught off guard because there is no damn way this man is holding a full conversation with you as if you didn't just catch him jerking off in the living room

• He also asked to cum on your face, but thinking about that might give you an aneurysm

• His monkey brain has no capacity for shame

Jean

Him:

You:

• LAUGHING. YOUR. ASS. OFF

• Never in your life have you laughed so hard

• He'll beg you not tell anyone

• You, of course, tell everyone (i.e. Sasha and Connie) and he will never live this down

• His pride is wounded beyond belief. He'll never recover from this; emotionally, mentally, or spiritually 😔