yusaku shook his head, feeling anger rise up within him as ryoken talked about dr. kogami. even after he was dead, he was controlling ryoken. he was making ryoken suffer and he wasn’t even around. dr. kogami’s last act was the ultimte manipulation. no matter what his intentions were, the results were clear. ryoken was going to deal with the guilt of ‘ causing his father’s death ’ for the rest of his life. and so, he would always feel indebted to him. he would always be controlled by him.
“ you didn’t hurt anyone. you saved me. you saved the other kids, too. ” if ryoken hadn’t reported the incident, yusaku was certain he would have died. no, if ryoken hadn’t encouraged him to keep living, yusaku would have died far sooner. “ you can’t blame yourself, you were eight years old. what you should have been doing was going to school and playing duel monsters like a normal kid, but your father didn’t give you that. that is not your fault, ryoken. ” the two of them were children who had their childhood taken away from them. if ryoken had had a loving father, yusaku and ryoken would have looked at their duel monsters cards and played around like normal kids. but that didn’t happen. ryoken had no control over who his parents were. “ you cannot hold yourself responsible for things you had no control over. ”
there was fire in his eyes. he was determined to make ryoken understand that this wasn’t his fault. he was as much of a victim as yusaku was. and even now, ryoken was a victim of dr. kogami. he felt rage rising and rising inside of him, and he gripped ryoken’s shoulders a little tighter. he had to understand.
“ your father is not someone you want to please. he was a self-centered, controlling, manipulative, evil man. ” yusaku knew ryoken probably wouldn’t appreciate him talking about his father that way, but to hell with it. he wasn’t lying. if ryoken continued to see dr. kogami in such a light, he would see himself as a villain and his father as anything but what he truly was. “ you are a good person. you are such a kind person that you even worry about what your father thinks even though he’s used you for your whole life. after all he’s done to you, for you to even consider thinking of yourself as a bad person or to consider blaming yourself for his actions … ryoken, you don’t owe kogami a damn thing! ”
yusaku's kindness toward him was endless, wasn't it? ryoken would never understand it. he saved yusaku? but he was the one that lured him into the trap in the first place. his father told him to bring home friends interested in duel monsters. his father said ryoken's friends were always welcome. and ryoken listened. he led his friend to his doom, to hell.
"m-my father he...he isn't--" what did he want to say? that his father was a good man? that he was a loving father? no, no neither of those things were true. deep down, ryoken knew yusaku was right. that man could barely even be called a father. he used ryoken for years, ever since he was a child. he manipulated him for his own selfish desires in the name of "preserving humanity". how self-righteous his father was. he still couldn’t meet yusaku’s eyes, finding himself tensing up when his shoulders were held tighter.
"even still...i...am not innocent." he had hurt people. he endangered people. he built the tower of hanoi after all. "you know what i've done. as revolver." just uttering that name made him sick. revolver, leader of the knights of hanoi. revolver, the villain. he hated remembering such things. that was a part of him now, and he could never separate himself from it. "even if it was my father's orders, i'm not free of blame. i was a ruthless, insensitive person." but he wanted to change. he was trying so hard to change now. "even after everything...you still forgive me. you still...want to be with me and help me. i don't understand."
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