dumb bitch energy

Y/N: I'm totally into dark humour.

Kaeya/Venti: *Turns off the lights* Wanna hear a joke?

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

━━━━━━ ◦ ❖ ◦ ━━━━━━

Kidnapper: We have your daughter.

Jean: I don’t have a daughter.

Kidnapper: She made us reevaluate our life choices and now we feel really bad so can you come pick her up?

Jean: Oh my god, you have Klee.

Kidnapper: I’m going to become a Knight.

━━━━━━ ◦ ❖ ◦ ━━━━━━

Zhongli: Y/n and I don't have pet names for each other.

Childe: Uh huh. Hey, you know what bees make, right?

Zhongli: Honey?

Y/N, from the other room: Yes dear?

Childe: Don't lie to my face again.

━━━━━━ ◦ ❖ ◦ ━━━━━━

Childe: Please. Picking locks is my specialty.

Childe: [throws brick through window]

Childe: Okay, let’s go!

Y/N:

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Y/N: Babe, babe, do the thing!

Diluc: *genuinely smiles*

Y/N, breathlessly: Oh my god...

━━━━━━ ◦ ❖ ◦ ━━━━━━

Y/N: Fuck you.

Lisa: Wouldn't you like to.

Y/N: what?

Lisa: what?

━━━━━━ ◦ ❖ ◦ ━━━━━━

Zhongli: Why are your tongues purple?

Childe: We had slushies.

Y/N: I had a blue one.

Childe: I had a red one.

Zhongli:

Zhongli: Oh.

Zhongli: OH.

━━━━━━ ◦ ❖ ◦ ━━━━━━

Jean: How are you feeling?

Diluc: I’ve got a headache that comes and goes.

Kaeya, walks in: Hey guys!

Diluc: It’s back.

━━━━━━ ◦ ❖ ◦ ━━━━━━

Baizhu: If Klee jumped off a cliff, would you -

Qiqi: Yes.

━━━━━━ ◦ ❖ ◦ ━━━━━━

Kaeya: I’M TOO HOT!

Kaeya: *points at Diluc*

Diluc:

Kaeya:

Diluc: *sighs*

Diluc: Hot damn.

Kaeya: CALL THE POLICE AND THE FIREMEN!

━━━━━━ ◦ ❖ ◦ ━━━━━━

Venti: Aww, babe, you had a crush on me? That’s embarrassing.

Y/N: We’re married.