fant4stic more like fantWHYstic

this is like a whole stew of mini AUs:

werewolf+hunter AU: listen. johnny storm is obviously a monster hunter of great renown. like he just goes from town to town with his firebolt-shooting-crossbow and he makes the bad things dead. so when he gets word of a werewolf problem it’s all business is usual. then he can’t find it. maybe this absentminded local scholartype who lives in a cabin on the edge of the woods might have some clues… (woof reed usually sticks to wild game, but every now and then he gets a craving for some livestock. he is pretty well behaved, as woofs go.)

fisherman+mermaid AU: reed genuinely is trying to find a more efficient way to maximize his catch of fish! he’d be doing really well for himself if only this one merdude would stop “accidentally” falling into his traps. (thus far reed has missed every single Merpeople Flirt Method in the history of the world. johnny is getting desperate) 

witch+familiar AU: this is one that could go either way. either bookish mage reed fucks up a basic summon so hard that he binds a genuine fire god to his service, or johnny’s reluctantly following the Family Tradition of Wizardry and keeps summoning the same airheaded wind spirit over and over again

barista+coffee addict AU: johnny is the former and reed is the latter. haven’t I read this fic already

professor+TA AU: finally reed gets to be an actual absentminded professor. he’s really bad at the teaching aspect of his work. meanwhile johnny just wanted a straightforward job and now he’s in over his head in more ways than one 

knight+prince AU: okay I think I Wrote this fic. johnny is a gallant hero and reed is, as always, in distress

teacher+single parent AU: johnny is a pretty good kindergarten teacher. meanwhile how reed ended up with actual spawn is a question no science can explain. anyway reed keeps running late to parent-teacher conferences and then when he finally gets there he keeps finding himself distracted by the teacher

HONESTLY I MISS MY WEIRD FISH SON TOO, I SHOULD TALK ABOUT HIM MORE OFTEN

before we get started: see the problem with these lists is that a lot of these AUs don’t necessarily fit to certain ships. the dynamics don’t sync right and trying to force it just leads to genericness. from now on, if I can’t make the given situation work out, I’ll offer a counterpart AU instead.

werewolf+hunter AU sea monster+tourist AU: BEACH TOWN GOTHIC, DON’T KNOCK IT TIL YOU TRY IT. namor is somewhat terrifying and lovecraftian at all times. johnny is…fine with it, surprisingly. like, you know that sub-mariner the depths series? it’s kinda like that

fisherman+mermaid AU: wherein they first meet as kids and their paths keep crossing as they grow older. neither quite fits into the life that’s been laid out for them and sometimes they bond over that (alternately: just bite the bullet and go full little mermaid AU)

witch+familiar AU: congratulations on summoning the ocean, johnny. now he’s living in your house and leaving fishbones everywhere

barista+coffee addict AU baker+customer AU: namor has no sweet tooth. he’s just here to get a gift for his mom. and yet somehow he keeps finding his way back to this particular pastry shop. meanwhile johnny is Determined to make a dessert that namor can’t resist. (spoiler alert: johnny is the dessert.) 

professor+TA AU businessman+personal assistant AU: namor just inherited this corporation and he’s a little in over his head. luckily, johnny is really good at his job. (if there was ever an AU to have desk sex in…)

knight+prince AU: once again, johnny is a gallant knight. somehow, the heir to atlantis keeps coming up with new heroic quests to send him on (because he wants him to keep coming back)

teacher+single parent AU college roommates AU: people who are going to have a really hard time trying to cohabitate peacefully: these two

the fantastic fantfourstic fanwork fest, also known as the FFFF, is making a comeback for 2017! 

to refresh, the FFFF is a time to celebrate (”celebrate”) the movie fantastic four (2015). I’ve run out of hilarious testimonial soundbites, so I’ll just say outright that this movie is not a very good movie. tommy wiseau wants to direct a hypothetical sequel though so at least we’ve got that going for us. moving on

the FFFF runs for nine days straight, from august 7th to the 15th. the first eight days feature unique themes (a few graced us with their presence for FFFF 2k16, but the majority are brand new!) while the final day is a chance to play around with anything you want. as always, all types of fanwork are encouraged throughout the event, and don’t feel obligated to create something for every available theme. this event is about having fun, so do whatever makes you happiest. 

here’s this year’s crop of themes!

august 7th, day one: “FIX-IT.” might as well get this one out of the way first. you know the drill - pick up the broken pieces of this movie and make something better out of them. 

august 8th, day two: “FAME.” lights, camera, action! play around in the cheeseball celebrity AU you always dreamed about, or figure out how to bring this motley gang of superheroes into the public eye for the first time. 

august 9th, day three: “FORESIGHT.” groundhog day loops, precognitive episodes, straight up time travel, or just “I have a bad feeling about this” - let’s see what happens differently on the second (third, fourth, fifth) time around. 

august 10th, day four: “FLUFF.” the triumphant return of romcom day! now’s your chance to give these kids a proper happy ending for once.

august 11th, day five: “FOOLISHNESS.” YES, @caramelton, YOU GET YOUR OWN DAY, STOP PESTERING ME ABOUT IT. audience, you’re free to choose one of caramelton’s awful, awful theme suggestions, or you can come up with a crackfic nightmare of your own.

august 12th, day six: “FLIGHT.” this one’s a trifle more open-ended. maybe you don’t know whether you’re running away or running to, but at least you’re traveling in style. 

august 13th, day seven: “FATE.” if FORESIGHT was about changing destiny, FATE is about letting it carry you, for better or for worse. anyway, where are my soulmate AUs at.

august 14th, day eight: “FOUND.” whether you’re going back to the beginning or just searching through the wreckage of the finale, at the end of the day, maybe we just need some reassurance that not everything is lost.

august 15th, day nine: “FREE-FOR-ALL.” theme open season! if you missed the deadline for a previous day, feel free to post it today. trying something new isn’t half bad, either. 

a kpop rap song

a limited edition denny’s menu

commercials for said denny’s menu

a full line of novelty peanut butters 

there was a lot of crush soda product placement in the movie, though.

@kyakuuu created the last thing we needed, interdimensional cryptid Reed Richards

FRENCH: “reed is a shitty mime who can’t ride a unicycle and ben is concerned”

FRIDGE: “ben opens the fridge door and doom is inside. he teleported back and he couldn’t get out and now he’s hibernating like a snake when it’s too cold”

FERAL/FERRELL: it started as “like feral cats” and ended as “talladega nights AU where johnny’s the dumb fucking driver and he and victor argue about crepes. harvey can just be all the bad characters. like 5 harveys”

FOUL+FOWL: “don’t tell them which one it is. only write the pronunciation,” also, “the return of Chicken Ben”

FRAMED: “reed is framed for murder. of an art piece so there’s two frames. and then he’s got glasses frames”

FLU: [prompted by kyakuuu sneezing] “everyone’s sick and no one can understand each other because they’re so nasally”

ITS COMING , LADS

This is the first time Ben’s ever seen Reed cry. Already he never wants there to be a second time.

–

AU. Ben sleeps through the phone call, Reed doesn’t make it back from Planet Zero, and the world is left to reconstruct a dream.