Things I have learned about Fandom.
Iâm staring down my 9-year anniversary here on Tumblr, and I thought Iâd share some thoughts from that perspective. I discovered fandom (and Tumblr) when I was 41, so Iâve obviously never been a teenager online, but I think these are pretty universal for newcomers of any age.
Pick a name that doesnât reflect your current fandom, because the odds that you will move on in 1 or 5 or 10 years are very high, and changing your url often means that your old friends donât recognize you anymore.
Keep your friends! Your current fandom friends are going to migrate to different fandoms than you will. You will generally not be able to convince them to love your Next Hyperfixation. Learn to enjoy the eclectic oddness that your dash will eventually become.
Donât be afraid to move on. Fandom is Brownian Motion. You will drift from one space to another as the spirit moves you. Itâs okay. In the beginning, it can feel like a betrayal to leave a fandom, to start reblogging things your current friends arenât in to, to lose interest in their meta/writing/art, to change the feel of your dash. Itâs okay! Everyone does it, although some take months and others take years. Just let them know that your hyperfixation has changed, but your heart and friendship have not. Itâs that simple.
Be Kind. To everyone. You have no idea what theyâre going through or who they are. Try to not say anything to others that you wouldnât want aimed at yourself. (Youâre going to fuck this up. Everyone does. Give yourself some slack and remember to absorb the lesson, if thereâs one to be learned.)
You are going to stumble. Especially in todayâs hypercritical climate. You are going to say something that starts a fire. Just say sorry (if itâs warranted) and move on. Delete that post and take a break for a couple of weeks if it gets too hot. LEARN from it, but donât fixate on it. Make liberal use of tumblrâs Block feature.
Learn to recognize wank (âdiscourseâ). Know that if you jump in with your opinion, you will very likely become some rabid personâs target. So make that choice with your eyes open. Try to avoid black-and-white thinking (we're right --> they must be demons). It's really not helpful.
Online stress is real. Online hurts are real hurts. So learn how to protect yourself. Curate your dash, block people and tags. Learn to recognize when tumblr thoughts follow you into your real life and affect your happiness. When that happens, take a break. Change the makeup of your dash.
Donât make assumptions. Your friend might be older or younger than you, might be from an entirely different culture. Itâs easy to assume everyone on the other side of your keyboard is a mirror image of you, with similar experiences. They very likely are not, so always tread lightly.
Guard your personal information. No one needs to know your real name! And probably, they donât need to know your age, either. Especially if youâre young. You are your url, and in a fandom community, that is enough.
Being part of a fandom community takes time and effort. You make friends by commenting, reblogging, encouraging others in their writing/art/meta/whatever. If you are a creator yourself, please donât be discouraged by a slow lift-off. That happens for everyone (except a lucky few).
It isnât necessary to make friends with the BNFs out there: make friends with other newbies. Your shared experiences will be stronger for that!
Have fun! And if you realize it isnât fun anymore, walk away. People take breaks from fandom all the time, and itâs still there when they return. Even if itâs been decades. đ