a not-so-quiet confession
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@fandom-melon
a not-so-quiet confession

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everything i touch turns homosexual
Stratt vat hcs ive been thinking about:
- inhabitants of the vat have taken to affectionately calling themselves the vatlings, with Eva as their benevolent dictator and head of their unofficial government on board the ship
- after some weeks of boarding the ship, time quickly becomes lost on everybody so they revert to basing everything around the position of the sun/moon/stars
- this quickly led to an ongoing joke of the vat being a pirate ship with Stratt as the Captain
- and quickly spiraled into the whole ship, save for one Captain and her lapdog, dressing up in pirate costumes one April fool's day (of course Ilyukhina bought extra costumes for those two but the best she managed to put on them was a hat and eyepatch)
- she did get Stratt a real sword though, no one knows how she managed to procure it but Eva proudly brandishes it in her office
- sickness is rare but not impossible on the ship, if one person is down, it is inevitable that everyone goes down (except Stratt and her primary crew, who she drags onto a private jet to wait out whatever disease to run its course)
- if she so much as hears one cough from any of them, she kicks them off and sends them back to the vat (Grace only survives since years of teaching around living petri dishes has strengthened his immune system, while Stratt is always the last one standing, but her cursed sleep and eating schedule ends up being her downfall)
- the multicultural makeup of the ship has led to factions forming among vatlings of similar origins, and mock wars are declared nearly every week that always devolve into petty pranks
- peace treaties too, each with more ridiculous articles than the last, such as renaming little russia to little america after a cold war reenactment between members of ROSCOSMOS and NASA (which did not last longer than a week thanks to Komorov)
- Grace refuses to pick any side during these wars but ends up helping anyway, including stacking neon party wigs on Dubois (with help from Shapiro and Ilyukhina) after he nodded off during another last minute team meeting, or convincing Leclerc that no it's not snowing that's just frozen rain
- they rarely attempt to prank Stratt, once Ilyukhina convinced Grace to try the same prank they did on Dubois on her, but the best they managed was one green wig and a blurry picture when she passed out after three days of irregular sleep (one eye shot open and that was enough to send the pair scampering from her office)
- Ilyukhina often defects for no reason other than to stir drama, while Yáo pretends to not care but is willing to broker information to anyone for the right price (a pack of cigarettes and an hour of their PTO)
- being the dictator director, Eva does not step in during these wars, so long as work is completed by the end of the night (she understands how stir crazy living on a boat can be)
- the mess hall has a rotating schedule to represent the different cultures on board the ship which inevitably means everyone complaining once its time for English-based meals (no one wants to eat mushy peas or beans on toast, but an argument breaks out on whether chicken tikka masala belongs to England or India)
- the Olympics causes a return to nationalism among the vatlings and is the only time Stratt is seen repping her country's flag
- speaking of, the vatlings held a mock Olympics (the Vatlympics) themselves with increasingly strange competitions based not on country/heritage but on respective roles on the ship
-Stratt catches wind of this and forms her own team made of the best in each crew simply termed the Leads (did not last long, Ilyukhina quickly retermed them the Strattlings)
- she tried getting the astronauts to join her team but they chose to stick together led by Yáo who surprisingly became quite competitive
- events included but were not limited to swimming laps around the Vat, running along its length (suprising to no one Redell wins), bowling using discarded equipment and a mannequin head that no one knew where it came from (Grace has shockingly good aim), a spelling bee amongst the science factions (despite being the lead astrophage researcher, spelling is not his forte), extreme hide and seek (won by Shapiro and Dubois who of course knew all the best hidden places), and cultural dance forms (it was impossible to select a clear winner but Lokken did surprise everyone by performing a hallingkast)
- they hold a funeral for Antarctica headed by Leclerc (he's bawling the entire time), Ilyukhina almost poured one out but quickly remembered the newfound Prohibition enforced on the vat
- an illegal speakeasy is formed by the chemists when Stratt limits alcohol usage only for galas and the monthly team bonding events, they take orders from the crew teams until one suspicious request for mead shows up (little known fact, Eva has a sweet tooth)
- a makeshift Eurovision is held (including non-euro crew members), Eva almost considered joining but started getting a sore throat after endless meetings that always ended in her yelling at greedy capitalists trying to profit off the end of the world
- Lokken and Grace's beef is so well known amongst the vatlings that a silent system is formed to alert if one gets within 10 feet of each other (fails every time, those two can rarely hold a civil conversation, Grace likes to think himself a calm man but Lokken knows the exact buttons to press)
- (eg. During the Vatlympics in a particularly heated staring contest between team bio-engineer and team Leads Strattlings, Lokken and Grace had the misfortune of being paired, Lokken only won when she whispered independent evolution, causing Grace to yell about panspermia)
- the vatlings are loyal to their benevolent dictator and fiercely defend her against criticism from the press
It's evolving

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🃏 The Trappola Siblings ♥️
500 MILES - Riddle Rosehearts AMV 🌹
(youtube version)
Dr Ryland grace: *comes back to earth and is revealed to have been alive just living on erid for the past like 40 years*
Rocky's body is a machine that turns one (1) praise into 10,000,000,000 praises 💕💕💕
thinking about a very specific scenario of a grace with no video logs, with no xenonite failure, who comes back to earth as rocky comes back to erid, heart full but missing a very distinct piece. ten, twenty years go by, and grace is not malnourished nor does he look even half his age, but there's a deepset something in his eyes that has nothing to do with stratt's actions being revealed or the press or adjusting to earth again. about earth getting news of a ship coming down, whose atmosphere is fundamentally different now and causes trouble for that ship. damages sustained on that ship. a red light in the sky. suspected eridian contact as confirmed by dr ryland grace. thank you tom, anna temple here and we're live at nasa's makeshift landing pad, ready to receive, watching- oh, my- a row of officials that cannot pin down ryland grace this time as he, live on air, tears apart every country's anxiety of eridians by ripping from the crowd and jumping the fence into the launching area. a camera pan that judders from dr grace sprinting, the most energetic he's been in years, to a brown eridian kareening towards him in a xenonite suit. prepared to catch ryland's tackle and embrace him properly, there on the green grass, for the very first time. first contact.

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FUCK it’s even worse, Mark said HE will get out of the Blood Ocean and curl up in Ryan’s arms, I cannot—
sexualizing that old man? Oh no I’m asexualizing that old man. Yeah he’s coming to the realization that his sexual activity was performative and compulsory, and he’s much happier now. I’m taking him to pride and he’s a little confused but he’s got the spirit.
here's some fresh headcanons since i haven't really written about him much
---
- Fresh can often be seen drinking stuff from goofy cups, sometimes pulling gags like grabbing a bigger cup from off screen each time he goes to take a sip when he's talking to somebody. He likes to make people laugh, especially you
- He really likes Kool-Aid. I don't really have a specific reason for this I just feel like he would
- He often goes to various universes to spray paint in abandoned areas, sometimes even taking you with him to show you what he's left behind in the past/offer for you to leave new art behind with him. He used to go with Ink before Ink became a lot busier, so now he primarily has you to go with
- He has a tendency to lean on you a lot due to his height/he just likes to touch, keeping his arm around your shoulder or resting his chin on your head
- He always somehow knows a reference to some sort of meme or piece of media, he never fails to get jokes- so if he hears you quoting something he'll be able to complete a line pretty quick
- He loves to listen to you yap about anything, giving little hums in reply so you'll keep going. Sometimes you'll catch his glasses saying "LO-VE" before changing to something else
- He would absolutely be down for any situation, just call him and he's there. He also shows up immediately if you're in an emergency, hurrying to your aid to diffuse a tense situation- or distract someone so you can make a getaway
- if he catches you up too late, he will carry you to bed over his shoulder and toss you down onto your bed, staying by your side and cracking jokes until you fall asleep
- absolutely loves arcade games, probably owns a few arcade cabinets. how did he get them? we'll never know
- definitely owns a nerf gun or two, you never know when to expect him having one so he surprises you sometimes. don't let your guard down!!
so yesss!!!! my hypothetical anthrpology #myhypotheticalanthropology
I kinda wanted to approach Eden and the COI not as Evil Cult Society and Evil Industrial Society (since personally i just find that less interesting) but more as two diverging human cultures that adapted to intense circumstances in different ways. that isn't to say that there aren't harmful aspects to them, much in the way that there are harmful aspects to real human societies.
So anyway back 2 my markiplier space movie conlang
Collab of all time

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they can touch a little, as a treat
First post on the tumb, kinda nervous
Have some grace with me