i have no friends...

Lily, rolling her eyes: Sure, James.

James, getting off the table: You’ll come around-

James, getting back on the table: WAIT- SURE?!

Lily, trying not to smile: Yes, James.

James, staring wide-eyed at Lily: ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?!

Serena Butterfly Lucitor

Marlene fell dramatically down beside Lily at the long table. There were a few gatherings of students clustered on the wooden benches, but the redhead was alone, eyebrows furrowed as she read intensely. She was startled by her best friend’s appearance and stared at her, wide eyed.

“Hi Marlene?” She asked, afraid to start whatever conversation her friend was clearly anxious to start.

“Hi Lily. Now listen, you know I love you and I support you in everything you do. But sometimes, what you do is really stupid. And exhausting. And worthless. Now, you are one of the smartest witches I know, without a doubt. Any professor here can attest to that. However, when it comes to boys, you are an absolute twat.” Marlene was dead serious, Lily could tell. Which could only mean one thing.

“James started it.” she grumbled, turning back to her book.

“Nu-uh.” a swift movement from the small blonde beside her had the book firmly shut in a second. “You don’t get to blame this on Potter and then just expect everything to be okay.”

“Uh, watch me?” Lily wasn’t in the mood to talk about James, or their argument, and Marlene wasn’t helping.

“Listen, Lils, you and Potter have done really well this year. You’re even, dare I say it, friends with each other now. Remember second year? I think you threatened his life at least twice a day.”

A shrug from the redhead. “He was a bully.”

“Yeah he was. But he hasn’t changed all that much. He’s still the same old James Potter, but he’s working hard to be kinder. And he’s doing that for you.”

“Pfft. James Potter is the most egotistical, arrogant arsehole that ever walked the grounds of Hogwarts. The only thing he’s trying to be kinder to is himself. I have no intention of being kind or friendly or understanding of that, newfound friendship or no.”

Marlene studied her. Lily was good at playing angry. Her sharp wit and quick tongue made it easy to believe that she had her emotions under her control. However, when one knew her, as Marlene did, it was obvious that she was using her quick tongue to cover the underlying feelings she was really experiencing. And Lily, as Marlene took note, was incredibly frustrated and even a bit sad.

“Lils, what actually happened between you two? You were doing so well towards each other, Dori and I thought you had finally buried the hatchet.”

A deep groan left Lily and she slumped over the table, eyes shut tight against her problems. Her friend rubbed a soothing hand along her back and when she felt she could speak without bursting into tears, she began talking.

“It was stupid really. Nothing to even get upset over. I was talking about possible jobs choices for myself in the future. Perfectly reasonable a thing to be considering at our age. And Potter went off at me. He talked about how no one could ever really make any plans, how I didn’t know what kind of job I could be accepted into and that I shouldn’t put all of my effort into confirming a career right now. And it just… sounded like he didn’t think I could do it. Like I wasn’t capable of making it out there in the big bad world.” She took a shuddering breath. Marlene said nothing, hoping that her friend would continue.

“So I said that he didn’t really know me, that what I wanted to do with my future didn’t really concern him. He said I was naive, thinking I could just waltz into the unknown alone, and that I should pull my head out of the clouds. So I said that he was close-minded, that he had no ambitions. He got really mad and said that he was already making plans for his future. I said how dare he speak that way against me when he was doing the exact same thing I was doing. And then I called him arrogant and self centered and a selfish pain in the arse. And a few other things that I don’t need to repeat. And he said I just didn’t understand what was waiting in the magical world and how difficult it could be and then he said, and I quote, “A muggleborn shouldn’t lose herself and think her place is above where it is.”” Marlene’s eyes went wide. Lily was not really sensitive about her bloodline until someone said something about it in a negative connotation. This was something that James should have known, but had used against her anyway. Rubbing a hand over her eyes and settling it against her cheek, Lily took in her flabbergasted friend. “I left after that. We haven’t talked since.”

Marlene groaned. “I know! And it’s been two and a half days. Seriously, this can’t go on much longer. The lads and I think you two need to just talk it out and apologize to one another.”

“APOLOGIZE?” Lily exploded. A few heads popped up from different places in the great hall, curious about the commotion. “Why on earth should I apologize to HIM? I didn’t even do anything that he didn’t deserve. He was the one that said those awful things about me. No. I am not, on merlin’s beard, apologizing to that odious man.”

With a roll of her eyes, Marlene settled against the wooden table. “Lily, you know James fancies you, yeah?” A disgusted scoff left the redheads mouth. “He does! You’ve known that since second year. And I know you don’t want to admit it, but you’ve started fancying him right back. You can barely keep your eyes off him most days, you spent all day by his side in the hospital wing, you and the four of them are practically inseparable when there’s a trip to hogsmeade. It’s just common knowledge at this point, to be honest.”

“I don’t fancy James Potter. Don’t be ridiculous.”

Marlene sat up. “No, you don’t be ridiculous Lily Evans. Enough is enough. James only started that fight because you were making plans to leave England and pursue careers in Ireland. Those plans aren’t his plans and he wants your plans to involve him. He doesn’t want you leaving him behind and running off to a different country. He was being irrational and stupid about it, to be sure, but he was worried that you would leave him and it was the first time he was ever faced with such a prospect. It scared him. So, he did what any boy would do, he tried to make you feel like you couldn’t accomplish anything so you would stay here, in England, with him.” Lily was staring, rather uncomprehending at Marlene’s words. And as her best friend continued, water began filling her eyes. “I know it was a dumb way to go about it, but he panicked. He knows how you feel about your bloodline and when that’s called into question, you freak, but he wasn’t thinking clearly. He was angry and mad and worried and he said things he didn’t mean. You said things you didn’t mean and now here we are, in a web of misunderstanding and hurt feelings. But two and a half days is long enough, dammit. And it’s time for you two to figure things out.”

It was one of those rare times when Marlene seemed like the wisest person alive. Marlene wasn’t dumb, but she also couldn’t care less about others emotions. So this tirade of words was shocking and soothing to Lily at the same time. And she had a point. Even if James had meant all of the horrible things he had said, she didn’t mean what she had said. He deserved to know that.

“Where is he?” she asked quietly. Marlene smiled and pumped her fist in victory.

“He’s down by the lake,” she said. Lily nodded, wiped her eyes and asked Marlene to take her books back to the dorms. Her best friend agreed and they parted ways. Lily pulled her robes firmly around her and headed for the water, nervous about the confrontation that would have to occur.

The newly green grass was warming under the sun and the large willow tree by the lake was swaying in the breeze. She knew, without thinking, that he would be there. It was his alone place, where he went when he needed to think. Beneath it stood the man himself, James Potter, who was muttering obscenities under his breath by the sound of it. He was picking up smooth stones and skipping them into the water. Lily stopped a few paces away, watching him.

“Naive? She’s the smartest girl I know!” he exclaimed, flicking his wrist and sending a stone skipping three, four, five times before it sank in the water. “And I told her a muggle born shouldn’t question her place? Am I mad? Lily’s always been touchy about that kind of stuff! I knew that! But oh no, I just HAD to toss that out there like I meant it.” Another rock went flying. “What an absolute moron I am! Why can’t I just look Lily Evans in the eyes and tell her,” He picked up a larger, heavier rock, “that I want to be with her?!” He hucked it into the water and it made a large splash. He bent over, hands on his knees from the exertion. “I just want to be with her.”

Lily’s heart was pounding at this confession, part of her hurt, knowing that even though he felt this way he could still say all of the horrible things he did. The other part was elated, hearing that he wanted her, the same way she wanted him. She considered for a moment how to make herself known. But her mind was reeling. The two warring emotions inside her, anger and elation, made it impossible for her to speak. So she didn’t. She just started to cry.

James stood back up, placing both hands on his waist and staring out into the lake. “She is,” he began softly. “She is… the most amazing, kind, understanding, funny, ridiculous, and brilliant person I know. She makes me want to be better. I am better, because of her, I know that. And yet I still have been acting like a complete git to her. Especially about this whole job stuff. Lily Evans could do anything she wanted and be brilliant at it. I have no reason to doubt her. To be fair, I wasn’t doubting her. I just… I really don’t want her to leave. I would tell her that, but I know how she’s reacted to my professions of admiration before. We’re just such good friends, I don’t want to risk it. But I also can’t let her think I meant any of that stuff.”

Lily was almost laughing out loud at his ridiculous monologue. She doubted he would be willing to say any of this stuff if he knew she was there. So she remained quiet, happy crying, though it felt strange to do so.

“I just have to tell her.” He said, a decision made in his voice. “I’ll just march right up to her and say: “Lily Evans, I am mad about you. I’m sorry I said those awful things. I didn’t mean a single one. I was just worried that you were going to leave and I wouldn’t have been able to stop you. But the truth is, I want to be with you. I know you may not feel the same way, but at least let me try to show you how I feel.” Yeah, that’ll work.” He was content in his idea and turned around and was met with the teary eyes of the girl he adored. His eyes went wide with shock as he realized she had been listening to his ranting about her and a blush colored his dark skin.

“Lily?” He whispered, and cleared his throat before attempting to speak again. “How… uh, how long have you been standing there?”

She wiped at her eyes and gave him a timid smile. “Long enough.” He groaned and pushed up his glasses to cover his face with his hands. His reaction made her laugh and she walked up to him slowly until they were only a foot apart. Lily waited until he lowered his hands and met her eyes with his before smiling wider. He opened his mouth to speak, but she lifted a finger to stop him.

“When we were third years, there was a day in Divination when we were talking about prophecies and how they were sort of riddles. Do you remember that?” He nodded. “Linda Gilfridge sat and read her prophecy for probably 30 minutes. I know because I was watching her, and while Marlene, Dorcus and I were already on our third, she hadn’t turned the page. I was planning on going to help her when you took a seat beside her. I thought you were going to tease her about how slow she was taking. But you didn’t. You told her that you had a really difficult time with Divination as well and then asked if you could work together. She was beaming at you and agreed. You spent the rest of the class discussing prophecies in the book and were able to get the assignment done. I’ve never forgotten that. Do you know why?” James looked up at her, his face looking vulnerable. Lily couldn’t help but smile. “Because you weren’t doing it for attention, James. So often, I felt like school was a big joke to you and that you didn’t take it seriously. It miffed me to no end. But that day, I saw you do something nice for someone else without expecting attention, or a reward, or anything. Someone needed help and you were the first to step up.”

Lily stepped forward and took both of his hands in hers. He glanced down at the touch and then turned even redder. Lily’s face copied the coloring, but she pressed forward. “I stopped hating you that day. Don’t get me wrong, you were still an annoying little bugger with a big mouth. But you were also kind. And I knew I had misjudged you.”

They were standing incredibly close, only inches separating them. James looked like he had forgotten how to breathe and Lily was biting her lip, wondering what to do next. She decided to keep talking.

“I know that you’re a different person now, James. Different even from that little third year you who was so kind. You’re better now. You think about others and you’re incredibly loyal to your friends and you never purposefully hurt anyone. I know this because I have been on the receiving end of that big heart of yours. What I said during our argument? I didn’t mean it. None of it. My feelings were hurt and I didn’t want you to know that you had that effect on me. So I lashed out. And I’m really really sorry.”

It was like lightning had struck James Potter and he had no idea what to say. Her apology had been heartfelt and kind and, even though he didn’t think it possible, it made him fall in love with her even more. He stared at her, gaping for a few seconds, before she began to laugh nervously.

“Aren’t you going to say anything?”

He shook his head and moved towards her. She thought he might kiss her, but he just enveloped her in his arms and pulled her into his embrace. She reciprocated the movement and wrapped her arms around his waist, pressing her head into his shoulder. She breathed him in and felt all of the sadness and anger at his words dissipate from her body. Lily Evans was hugging James Potter and, to her surprise, found that there was no place she would rather be.

After a few minutes of this glorious hug, he pulled back to look at her.

“Lily,” he whispered, trying not to shatter the vulnerable and warm air that seemed to be surrounding them. He gently cupped her face in his and stared into her eyes. “I’m so so so sorry about all of that stuff I said. It was stupid and cruel for no reason other than to satiate my insecurity. You are incredible and amazing and whatever you decide to do, you will be able to do it. I know you will be. I’m sorry if I made you feel like you couldn’t or shouldn’t because of your bloodline or whatever. I was speaking without thinking and it was really wrong of me. I have never been so sorry in my entire life.”

She smiled up at him and wrapped her hands around his wrists. “I know you’re sorry,” she said gently. “I forgive you.” A sigh of relief exited his body and he shut his eyes as it did so. She waited for a moment before asking. “Isn’t there something else you wanted to tell me?”

His eyes sprung open, and his body tensed in nervousness. “Well. I think you may have already heard it, and I’m not sure how you felt about it the first time. So I don’t know if I should risk it by saying it again.”

Lily shook her head. “Please risk it. Please.”

James studied her face a moment, her expression trying to encourage him the best that she could. He swallowed hard and took a deep breath. His hands were shaking against her face.

“Lily Evans,” he stopped and had a look of confusion cross his face. “What’s your middle name, by the way?” She laughed, his random inquiry a perfect example of how ridiculous he was.

“It’s Jane.”

He grinned. “Lily Jane Evans, I am completely mad about you. You are everything I have ever wanted. Even though you tell dumb jokes and you’re always reading, for some reason, and you’re the biggest klutz I know. Even though I’m pretty sure you’ve hated me for the majority of the time we’ve known each other. Even though I have made a complete arse out of myself in a million different ways when it comes to you. Even though there are so many reasons I shouldn’t want you, l do. I really really want you. I know you may not want me right now, or ever maybe, but I will definitely go crazy if I don’t tell you how mad I am about you. So… there it is.”

Butterflies were flying in Lily’s stomach as she heard his confession. A grin came on her face and didn’t leave. But she knew how she felt and she wanted him to know.

“James Potter…”

“My middle name is Fleamont.” He interjected. She stopped and looked up at him in confusion.

“It’s what?”

“Fleamont. That’s my father’s first name. So it’s my middle name. One day, if I have a son, I hope to give him my name as a middle name.”

Lily started laughing. Mostly because his middle name was Fleamont and she wasn’t sure if she could say it with a straight face. But she was also laughing because he was the sweetest and dorkiest human being she’d ever met. James chuckled as he watched her try to regain her composure, but she was failing miserably at it. After a few seconds, he groaned.

“Lily, come on. We’re trying to have a serious moment here and you’re completely ruining it.” This made her laugh harder but she took a few deep breaths to ease her aching stomach and looked up at him. James saw the way her eyes shined and couldn’t help but grin. She copied his movements and reached up, taking his face in her hands. Nothing could dampen her smile.

“James Fleamont Potter. I don’t know, oh Merlin I really don’t know, how I ever could have hated you. It might take me a bit to figure out all of the feelings I have, and I hope you can give me that time, because I think I may want to be with you too.”

He smiled. “You do?”

“Yeah,” she whispered, her heart soaring. “I do.”

James let out a whooping noise and grabbed her around the waist, spinning the two of them in circles. They were laughing, happy and content, to be there under the willow tree, without any barriers between them. After a beat, James set her down.

“Lily, I have waited six years to even get a chance at you. I think I can wait a little longer.” If he could smile any wider, she thought his face might explode. She was grateful for his reassurance.

“Good. Then I think, together, we can figure this all out.”

He grabbed her hand in his, grinning. “Trust me, Evans. It would be my pleasure.”

Hand in hand, the two walked slowly back to the school, practically glowing in happiness and just bursting into spontaneous laughter, unable to take their eyes off of each other.

Sirius was watching them from the common room, shaking his head in humor. “Hey guys, come take a look at this.” Remus, Peter, Dorcus and Marlene all raced to the window, practically toppling over each other to get a look at what Sirius was talking about. They clumped together and watched as James and Lily walked hand in hand toward the castle, the biggest smiles on their faces. A collective “aw” escaped the group.

“Finally,” Peter mumbling. “I’ve never seen James mope as much as he had been the past few days.” “Seriously,” Marlene agreed. “I thought Evans was going to die from depression. It’s good they finally got their acts together. I swear, those two are the most exhausting people on the planet.”

Remus grinned over a Sirius. “Maybe they’ll finally get together and we can all get on with our lives.”

Dorcus skipped back over to the couch in front of the fire and stretched. “I’m just happy they’re happy. I always suspected they were going to end up together. They just needed to get over their egos for a minute and really talk to each other.”

They all joined Dori on the couch, except for Remus and Sirius, the two of them tracking the journey of their two close friends. The rest of the friends began chattering about how long they suspected the two would be together and if they had kissed outside just then under the tree. Remus was studying Sirius’ face closely.

“Pads?”

“Hmm?” Sirius dragged his eyes over to the yellowing eyes of his friend.

“Are you alright?” Remus knew that James and Sirius were inseparable and was hoping that James’ new understanding with Lily wouldn’t make him feel like he was losing Prongs. Sirius smiled at the genuine concern he heard in his voice.

He shot a quick glance back to their friends, making sure none of them were watching them. “C’mere,” he whispered, pulling Remus down toward him by his collar and giving him a swift kiss. Remus blushed to the roots of his honey colored hair. Sirius pulled away, smiling contentedly at the boy he was quickly falling for.

“I’m good, Remus. Just happy.” They shared a look and then headed over to the group of friends as they waited for James and Lily to make an appearance. Happy was the perfect word to describe the young people. They were surrounded in warmth by the fire and the good feelings inside them that nothing and no one could have ruined that day.

Everyone:

James: Ok a) your life is nowhere near normal, b) you aren’t just like anyone, you’re a fucking weirdo and c) we all know you’re gay. Now shut up and eat your breakfast.

Lily: Uh… sure…

James: It’s called Remus or Motorbike.

James: I will give you accurate quotes I heard Sirius saying, and you’ll have to guess if he’s talking to his motorbike or to his boyfriend.

Lily: …

Also known as

Smart Water

Lightning Mclean

Goldfish

Hot Magic

And

Deathly Medicine