Fancy Stephanie

Very excited to share a new comic I made with @annasellheim (The first part by Anna, the second part by me)

We both really believe that @plannedparenthood is vital for women’s health, so to show our support we made a comic about our lovely experiences there. 

If you have any questions or just want to support PP, visit https://www.plannedparenthood.org/

Find more of my work on my website or twitter

I think this officially marks the last person off my list:

“Does Bae back Bernie?”

Not enough men and boys know how to deal with rejection well. Far too often, men and boys who are rejected result to violence, angry outbursts, name calling, and threats. A scroll through the Instagram account @feminist_tinder will prove as much. Margaret Atwood is attributed as saying that “Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them.” And doesn’t that speak volumes? How often can a man say that he is afraid to reject a woman’s advances for fear she may kill him?

Rejection doesn’t feel good, but that doesn’t give someone the right or justification to be predatory, vicious, a dick, or menacing. Newsflash: women are autonomous beings. They have a right to say no and to be free from any shitty reactions afterwards. So, to that end, I’ve compiled a guide to explain (to guys) how a guy should react to various types of rejection.

Scenario 1: You build up the nerve to ask a gal out. She says “No.” Her “no” can be followed by any reason she chooses, whether that reason is her real reason or not. Her reason is not important. Her “no” is. So, in reply, this is what you get to say (and this is the only thing you get to say): “Ok. Thank you for your honesty. Hope you have a lovely day.” Your ego is bruised, but you’ll get over it. The rejection sucks, but do you know what sucks more? Degrading or threatening or hurting a woman because she told you “no.”

Scenario 2: You’ve been on multiple dates with someone and she texts you to call things off. Maybe it’s “We’re not at the same point in life” or “We’re too different,” or “I met someone else.” The reason, again, is irrelevant. What’s relevant is that she said she’s ending it, which is her right. You don’t own her and she hardly owes you an explanation. So, in reply, this is what you get to say (and this is the only thing you get to say): “Ok. I enjoyed getting to know you. I wish you all the best in your search for the right partner.” You’re out time and maybe money, but you get to dignify someone else’s choice. And that is huge. Don’t be the guy that clings on after a few dates. If she wants out, she gets to leave. No questions asked.

Scenario 3: You’ve been dating for quite some time and feel quite connected to your girlfriend. But, she meets with you to end your relationship. Again, any reason she gives she is entitled to give, and you have to accept that. It will be a bitter pill, but life goes on. So, in reply, this is what you get to say (and this is the only thing you get to say). “Ok. I loved our time together. I learned a lot about myself. I wish you the best going forward.” See the pattern yet? She says some variation of “I’m not interested” and your reply conveys complete and utter acceptance and support for her decision. This is called “being a fucking adult who respects the autonomy of other human beings and supports their growth.” Your girlfriend breaks up with you, but you’re not a dick, so you’ll reflect and grow (as oppose to threaten and shrivel).

Scenario 4: You both swipe right on Tinder, but after you say hi she tells you she is not interested. So, in reply, this is what you get to say (and this is the only thing you get to say): “Ok. Thanks for your honesty.” Matching on Tinder isn’t a golden ticket to romance or sex. You still have to be a decent human being, which means acknowledging that people can change their minds for any reason and don’t owe you an explanation.

Scenario 5: You both swipe right on Tinder, but you lead with something sexist like “Sup sexy. Hot pics.” She replies “I have a name and it’s not ‘sexy.’ You should use it if you want women to reply.” So, in reply, this is what you get to say (and this is the only thing you get to say): “You’re exactly right. My sincerest apologies. I was wrong to objectify you. You probably get that a lot. Sorry to have added to the pile. I’ll stop saying that. Good luck on here.” This reply = mature adult who learns from mistakes. Other possible replies (seriously, go read @feminist_tinder on Instagram) that rely on belittling, degrading, making threats, etc., reveal that you are not an adult but a child, one that sees a woman as a toy to play with instead of a human to get to know. You want control of your possessions, so when your “toy” says “no” and leaves you with no control, you lash out. If you saw her as a person with feelings, one to be cared for and not controlled, you wouldn’t respond like this. You’d have empathy and grow.

When men resort to violence, anger, name calling, or threats, they are not acting out of any kind of love. Instead, they are acting out of a selfish need for control or power. You claim to adore someone then threaten to hurt her for “breaking your heart?” That’s not love, that’s abuse. That’s attacking her human autonomy. That’s cowardice.

make sleeves go all the way to the wrist

stop putting shelf bras in everything

make jeans for short people with big butts

make shirts out of anything more substantial than gossamer

stop putting hanger straps on everything, they’re fn annoying and we’re disasters who don’t use them anyway

fake pockets???!!? FAKE POCKETS??!!?

put pockets on everything i am serious

charge less than half what you’re currently charging for shorts

end ‘one size fits all’ forever

size women’s clothing the way you size men’s clothing: with MEASUREMENTS

How women prepare for first dates

Bonus: How men prepare for first dates: