dead girl walking

hey i hope this isn't a bad time but one billion points lava damage

Man c'mon

I talk to bugs like they are little men. and you can too.

a bug jumps on me and I mildly go "sir... no, absolutely not. you can't be doing this" like he is an overly friendly mildly bothersome pest of a man but not actually a threat to me.

I think the only person I've met in real life with 100% career satisfaction was this gal I knew who was a presenter at a children's science museum and delivered every line like she was running a WWE match. Every time you passed the room where she was giving a presentation, you'd hear something like "WHO'S READY FOR CEPHALOPODS?!?" and the kids would go absolutely nuts cheering.

first it was girls' locker rooms vs boys' locker rooms then it was the feminine urge to vs the masculine urge to now it's girl dinner vs boy dinner when will it end when will we escape i feel like maybe some of you guys dont even want to escape doesnt anyone else want to escape

my brother started calling our cat "doobie brother" which he then lengthened to "dubious brother" and has since morphed into "brother dubious" like he's some sort of fucked up little monk