The Pain but with estrogen instead of bees

Listening to Hotel California on the store radio and they muted the word "kill" when he says "but they just can't kill the beast" like what are we doing here has humanity not suffered enough

"portugal" isn't a real country, go back to bed

paladin pulls me over for drunk driving my horse & as soon as he starts illuminating my ticket i lunge for his service crossbow

Your too late mr bond I alreasy peed out all my pee from my penis

Did anyone ever like attempt to document and compile the variations of Barney the dinosaur murder ballads across the elementary school system in the early 2000s. Like legit it has always fascinated me as a phenomena and I would love to know if there were like traceable regional variations or what.

Looking at the tags so far I’m kind of fascinated by how much the ‘I Love You’ parodies vary in their phrasing/murder weapons but the ‘Joy to the World’ ones are nearly identical

what is your holy trinity of fruits

Me, Freddy Mercury and Your dad, GOTTEM

I've said this and they say yep and laugh. Like it's asking for the sky to turn plaid

I've said this and they say yep and laugh. Like it's asking for the sky to turn plaid