Writer

“Very well, Mr. Malfoy, since apparently you have already finished your task, would you mind sharing your results with the rest of the class?”

Draco snapped out of his trance and blinked up in irritation. Professor McGonagall was standing in front of him, looking at him with narrowed eyes, her lips pursed. Slowly, the Slytherin began to fade back into the world surrounding him. Because unlike it had felt for him only seconds ago, it wasn’t just you and him in this room, but instead, the entire transfiguration class, including the Professor. And every single one of those people was now looking at him. Draco felt their eyes lingering on him and cursed himself. How could he have been so stupid to let himself get distracted that easily simply by how absolutely effortlessly beautiful you looked? But now he would have to face the consequences. He glared up at the Professor, trying to give his face a humble look.

“Excuse me, Professor, but I´m not finished yet.”

“It looks more like you haven’t even started.”, Professor McGonagall returned with a disapproving look at his empty parchment.

“I was still reading. I´ll start the essay soon.”, Draco promised, trying to prevent his face from heating up.

“Well, I suggest next time you will open the book to do so.”

He heard his classmates snickering in the background. Draco clenched his jaw and had to try his hardest to not take an issue with Professor McGonagall. He knew this would only make things worse. If that was even possible right now. Because after all, he was not only being humiliated in front of the entire class but also you. And that was something Draco didn’t even dare to think about.

“At the end of the lesson I expect an entire role of parchment on my desk from you, Mr. Malfoy.”, the Professor spoke up again. “And if you won´t be able to finish it today, you will hand it in tomorrow. Is that clear?”

Draco nodded slowly, teeth gritted. Professor McGonagall knew very well that it was sheer impossible to finish the essay in this lesson and that this afternoon, Draco would have to be at the pitch for some Quidditch practice. He was certain that if he would have been one of the Professor´s precious Gryffindors, especially one of those of the Quidditch team, she wouldn’t have been that hard on him. He was sure of that. Still, he knew he wouldn’t win this argument, so he kept his mouth shut.

Professor McGonagall nodded.

“Very well then.”, she said, before turning around, shifting her focus to his classmates again.

Draco let out a small sigh, before letting his gaze wander around the classroom. He could see some of the Gryffindors shooting him some gleeful glances, but Draco just ignored them. It wasn’t until his gaze settled on you, that his haughty façade started to crumble. Because the moment his gaze settled on you, you looked up from your book as well, your gaze meeting his. Draco´s heart got stuck in his throat as you threw the boy a small compassionate smile, before breaking the eye contact and focusing on the book in front of you again.

Draco´s heart was pumping so loud in his ears that he feared you might hear it on the other side of the classroom, but you didn’t look up again. Still, just those few seconds Draco had been in your orbit, made the boy forget why he had been so upset only minutes ago. The Slytherin couldn’t help the small smile that made it to his face. Maybe all the trouble in this lesson had been worth it after all.

And when Draco heard Blaise´s amused voice mutter beside him: “You´ve got it bad, man.”, he couldn’t even argue with it.

Later that day you were sitting in the common room with Pansy, chatting about all the world and his wife. At some point, Draco´s strange behaviour earlier that day came up as well. But while Pansy was snickering over how absolutely dumbfounded Draco had looked when Professor McGonagall had pointed out that the boy hadn’t even opened the book he had claimed to read, you rather felt sorry for the fellow Slytherin.

“Don’t be so hard on him, Pansy, I´m sure there was a reason that he was so distracted in that lesson.”

“So? If we all wouldn’t have to work just because we have a reason not to do so, I wouldn´t be present in half of the classes.”

“Oh please, what good reason would you have to miss our lessons?”

“They bore me.”, Pansy sighed out dramatically. “And the people annoy me.”

“Even though I totally understand, I´m rather sure that this is not a valid reason.”, you giggled.

“And what do you think Draco´s oh-so-mysterious, understandable and totally important excuse was?”

You shrugged your shoulders. Because even though Draco and you already knew each other for several years and you were rather close – at least by Draco´s standards – and you were quite curious about what had been on the boy´s mind earlier, you had absolutely no idea what could have distracted him that much that he would forget absolutely everything around him.

“You really have no idea?”, Pansy asked, as she glanced at you, looking almost irritated. “Absolutely none?”

“Do you?”, you responded.

Now it was on Pansy to shrug her shoulders, while her gaze dropped down to her lap, and she started fiddling with her hands.

“But regardless of that,”, you continued, not even noticing how Pansy relaxed next to you when you dropped the topic, “I think McGonagall was too hard on him. I mean, we all zone out from time to time, don´t we? And she really didn’t need to give him that much of extra work. That´s just unfair. Especially because she knows for sure that Draco has training today. If she already wants to give him some extra work, she could at least have given him some more time, don’t you think?”

But before Pansy could open her mouth to agree with you, the door opened, and a rather annoyed-looking Draco entered the common room. The frown he held on his face, however, softened immediately, the second he spotted Pansy and you sitting on one of the couches. Quickly, he made his way over to you - not without barking at some first years, standing in his way – and let himself fall on the couch as well, directly next to you.

“For real? In your jersey?”, you frowned. Not that you actually had something against the blond boy wearing his Quidditch uniform, that looked unfairly good on him, actually it was quite the opposite, but the last thing you needed today was some mud smudged over the couches and – due to the fact Draco had by now wrapped an arm around your shoulder – also all over your clothes.

But Draco only gave you a smug grin.

“Relax, love. I already showered and put on a new one. Only for you obviously. I know how much you like to see me in it.”, he winked.

You cursed the moment you had admitted to the blond boy in a moment of weakness that you actually thought that he looked rather good in his jersey. This, however, had been in your second year at Hogwarts, when Draco had joined the team and had been really nervous about his first actual game. And even though you had only said it back then to calm him down – and because it was the truth after all – until this very day, several years later, Draco still loved to remind you of the fact that you had called him handsome back then at every chance.

“If you say so.”, you grumbled.

Still, you finally relaxed into his arms and shuffled a bit closer. You had to actively keep yourself from inhaling his scent deeply. You simply adored it. For you, it felt like home. Simple as that.

“I guess that´s my call.”, Pansy grinned, as she got on her feet. “Enjoy your time, you two.”

You looked at your friend with narrowed eyes.

“Why you wanna leave? We still got some time before dinner.”

“Yeah, but I really don’t want to disturb the two of you.”, she winked.

“You know you could never disturb us, Pansy.”, you laughed, while Draco muttered something incomprehensible under his breath.

“Also, I am very sure that Blaise needs my help with… something. See you around.”

And with that, Pansy disappeared quickly, leaving Draco and you behind.

“That was strange, wasn’t it?”, you asked the boy next to you, who just shrugged his shoulders in response.

“It´s Pansy. What did you expect?”

You nudged him.

“Careful, that´s my friend you´re talking about. And yours too, by the way.”

“And that´s exactly why I´m allowed to say this. But even when it comes to my so-called friends, I´m thankful for every second that I´m able to steal you from them and have you all for myself.”

You felt the familiar blush creeping onto your cheeks that always appeared whenever Draco made some snarky remarks that could make you suspect that after all, you were something special to him. Just like he was to you. And that bastard was fully aware of the effect he had on you and used it to tease you endlessly about it. Just like he did now. And the only way you knew to answer this was with a just as big smirk as he always held on his face when he told you those things.

“Of course you do. Everyone does. I´m just adorable.”, you said, puffing your chest as much as it was possible now that you were trapped in Draco´s arms.

Said boy just sighed and placed a small kiss on the crown of your head, making you shiver.

“Oh, you have no idea, love.”

But just as you wanted to melt into Draco´s embrace, you felt him tense next to you and curse under his breath.

You sat up again slightly and turned your head to look at him.

“What is it?”

“Nothing.”, Draco sighed, but the lines of worries showed you differently. “Just that stupid homework from McGonagall. I still have to write almost half a role.” He let out another sigh before he pulled you close again. “But that can wait. Right now, I´m exactly where I want to be.”

Even though his words flattered you, you wiggled out of his arms and sat up straight.

“You might be where you want to be but not where you are supposed to. That woman will let you serve detention until the end of the year if you don´t hand in that essay until tomorrow. And I certainly won´t let you pull an all-nighter.”

“This is going to be an all-nighter anyway, love.”, Draco contradicted, but you shook your head in response.

“Not if I´ll help you.”

“(Y/n), no. You don’t have to.”

“But I want to.”, you pouted.

Draco let out a small laugh.

“Oh please! Nobody wants to work on Transfiguration voluntarily.”

“See what I´m willing to do just to spend some more time with you?”, you winked. “Now, c´mon. If we go to the library now we´ll still be able to work for an hour until dinner.”

And if you wouldn’t have been so determined to help Draco out and wouldn’t have strode away with long steps without even waiting for a response, you would have seen how Draco blushed vigorously at your words, justifying that he let you help him not with the fact that he was desperate to spend some more time with you, but reasoning that somehow this extra homework was your fault after all.

You had been wrong. Until it was time for dinner, several centimetres of the parchment were still empty, the blank space promising an all-nighter after all. Even though you might had even been able to finish the task completely, if it wouldn’t have been for Draco getting distracted by the very same thing that had gotten him into sitting here in the first place. Because just as it had been back in class, also here, in the dim light of the candles flickering on the walls, the Slytherin couldn’t help but notice how absolutely perfect you were. And because of that, the quill in Draco´s hand was hovering uselessly over the parchment most of the time, while its owner was busy staring at you, while you flicked through the pages of some books, providing Draco with some information you considered as potentially useful. Unfortunately, most of the words you were saying weren’t even processed by Draco´s mind. No, he was too busy staring at the movement of your lips when you spoke, the way your eyes mirrored the glimmering of the candlelight around you, the slight frown you held on your face when you tried to filter the most important information from the books in front of you, the way your fingers caressed the pages of the old books tenderly and how you…

“Draco? Draco are you even listening?”

The boy let out a quiet groan. Apparently, everything that could go wrong today would also proceed to do so. Because how should he explain to you that while you did your best to help him and sacrifice your free time to do so, he acted ungrateful and didn’t even listen to you without giving away the reason he simply couldn’t concentrate on anything at all as long as you were in the same room as him?

Draco ran a hand over his face before he nodded.

“Of course I am. Go ahead.”

But instead of doing so, you leaned back in your chair and eyed your friend closely.

“It was a tough day for you, wasn’t it?”, you asked, your voice sounding so much more compassionate than Draco thought he deserved.

And while with everyone else, Draco would have firmly denied that he had bad days at all, or would have blamed everyone else but him for everything that had gone wrong today, when it came to you, he simply couldn’t bring himself to argue. So instead, he just shrugged his shoulders in defeat.

But before you could answer, a boy walked up to your table, letting himself fall onto the chair next to you.

“Here you are.”, the Slytherin said, eyes fixed on Draco before he turned around to you. “Fancy to see you too, (Y/n).”

You smiled at him.

“Likewise, Adrian.”

Adrian Pucey mirrored your smile before his attention shifted to Draco again.

“Flint asked me to look for you. After the training today was… expendable, he wants us to meet up after dinner once more to talk about our tactic. At the pitch at nine.”

You saw the indecisiveness in Draco´s eyes as they flickered in between the parchment in front of him, still waiting to get filled by the words he so desperately needed to put down, and the older Slytherin. You knew Draco well enough to know that the boy was fully aware of where he had to set his priorities today, yet you also knew that he most likely wouldn’t dare to contradict Adrian and therefore Marcus Flint, who happened to be the Quidditch captain, himself.

So before Draco could even open his mouth, you quickly stepped in.

“Draco can´t join you tonight.”

The two boys looked at you with irritation, even though you liked to think that Draco looked also thankful at your words.

Adrian raised an eyebrow questioningly.

“So the two of you finally managed to get your act together and go on a date?”, he asked with a cheeky grin. “I´m sorry, (Y/n), but I´m afraid Marcus won´t let this slide as an excuse. Even if it´s a pretty girl like you.”

You let out a small laugh.

“Charming, Adrian, but Draco and I actually have a date tonight.” If you would have paid more attention to Draco than his teammate at that moment, you would have seen how the boy tensed in his chair, trying to hide all the emotion in his eyes at the mere thought of the two of you finally being together in a way, he had always wanted you to be. However, your gaze was fixed on Adrian, as you added: “Just the two of us and a dozen Transfiguration books. I guess you heard what Professor McGonagall did today?”

Adrian nodded, looking at Draco compassionately.

“And there´s no way you can delay the deadline?”

“Not if we want to make sure that dragon won´t let me serve detention during our next game against Gryffindor.”, Draco spit out through gritted teeth. “I bet she´s only been waiting for a chance like this.”

Adrian sighed in defeat.

“Screw it, we can´t risk that. And Flint´s gonna think the same. I´ll talk to him. Maybe you can meet up tomorrow before the next training to give you a summary. But for now, I´ll leave you alone so you can continue this.” He gestured at the books splattered on the table in front of you before he stood up. “Good luck with this. And (Y/n),” He turned around to you, a playful smirk playing around his lips. “Since what Draco and you are doing here is for strictly academic reasons, does that mean I still stand a chance?”

You couldn’t help the blush that crept on your cheeks at his words. It wasn’t like you were actually interested in the older boy, not at all, and you highly doubted that Adrian´s words were anything but a tease, still, his words flattered you.

“Keep on dreaming, Pucey.”, you giggled, not quite able to look him into the eyes, as you were still focused on trying to hide your blush.

“Maybe I will.”, he winked.

But before he could add something, Draco interrupted him.

“Now get lost, Pucey! We still got work to do.”, he barked, his eyes shimmering coldly as he stared at your housemate.

Adrian raised his hands in defence.

“Don´t worry. I´m already gone. She´s all yours.”, he said, before he actually turned around and walked away, leaving Draco and you finally alone again.

When the boy was gone, you slammed the book in front of you shut with a heavy sigh.

“I think we should leave it for now as well. We can continue after dinner in the common room. But now I need something to eat. And I think you do too.”

You looked at the Slytherin sitting on the other side of the table in expectation of a response, but it seemed like Draco hadn’t even heard what you had been saying. Blankly, he stared at the spot Adrien had stood only moments ago, with an intelligible expression on his face.

“Draco? Draco, did you hear me?”, you asked, your eyes flickering between the Slytherin and the blank spot next to you.

“Why did he say this?”, Draco suddenly asked, not even answering your question.

You narrowed your eyes in confusion.

“Who said what?”

“Pucey. This thing about standing a chance with you. Why did he say that?”

You let out an uncertain laugh, not sure why Draco was bringing this up now.

“I don´t know. He was just joking I guess.”, you shrugged.

Draco nodded, still not looking at you.

“Is there something going on between the two of you?”

The laugh that escaped you now, was genuine.

“Adrian and me? Salazar no! Why would you think that?”

“But you get along great, don´t you?”, Draco pressed.

“Yeah. Yeah, I suppose so. I wouldn’t say we are close or anything, but he´s nice. I like him.”

Finally, Draco tore his gaze apart from the blank spot and instead looked at you. You shifted uncomfortably in your seat as his grey eyes raked yours, nothing in his face giving away what he was thinking.

“You like him?”, he spat, stressing the second word as if it was something nasty lying on his tongue.

“Why are you so surprised about it? I mean, he´s everything a Slytherin is supposed to be. Smart and cunning. Plus, he´s a great Quidditch player and he´s actually quite nice, isn’t he?”

“So? Aren´t I all of those things too?”

There it was. After all, his strange behaviour could be once more explained by his pride. Obviously, Draco was all these things as well. Hell, he was so much more than this. And you loved every single part of him. However, his behaviour was from time to time rather… challenging. But you didn’t mind the slightest. Because, unlike many other people, you knew how to deal with it.

You smiled at the boy calmingly.

“Obviously you are. And that is why I like you as well. Well, at least to name a few things.”

Something in Draco´s eyes changed, his anger seemed to subside and made place for something else. Yet, once again, you weren’t quite sure how to read it. Because while Draco seemed to be soothed by your words, there was also a sadness lingering behind the small smile he threw you.

“So, that´s all there is?”, he asked.

You nodded.

“That´s all there is. No earth-shattering friendship. And “, you added after a moment of hesitation, “Also nothing else. No romantic interest or whatever you have been trying to imply.”

“I didn’t imply anything. That´s what you were construing, love.”, Draco answered, with a sly grin on his face, but you noticed how he visibly relaxed into his chair again. A reaction, that made your heart flutter in your chest, just as the stupid nickname he called you from time to time.

But before you could think about any potential deeper meaning behind his words, Draco stood up from his chair and stretched his stiff limbs, a view that made a small sigh leave your lips involuntarily.

“We should really leave for dinner now, don’t you think? I´m already starving.”

“Sure. Great idea, Draco. Why didn’t I think of that?”, you smiled, trying to fight the ironic undertone in your voice. You didn’t quite manage to, but Draco didn’t seem to notice, with his wand he already conducting all the books to their firm places.

“That´s what I´m here for. Always happy to help you, love.”

“What would I only do without you?”, you sighed dramatically.

“Your life would definitely be so much more miserable.”

“Well, I´m afraid I can never allow you to walk out of my life then.”, you smiled at him.

“As if I ever wanted you to.”, Draco muttered under his breath. Only a faint sound in your ears, like the whispering of the wind, and you weren’t quite sure if you had just imagined it. You just really hoped you didn’t.

After dinner, Draco and you were finally able to work on his essay effectively. This was mainly due to the fact that Draco strictly forbade himself to even look at you once until he would have finished the last stroke of his quill.

It was almost midnight when Draco finally set the last dot, ending exactly at the end of the final line. He dropped the quill next to the parchment and leant back in his chair with a heavy sigh.

“And McGonagall really thought this would be a challenge for me. I bet that crazy cat lady was only hoping I would fail so she could get me to serve detention for the rest of the year. But I´m a Malfoy after all. It takes more than a stupid essay to get me down. Don´t you think so too, (Y/n)?”

When you didn’t answer, Draco glanced to the side, where you were sitting. Even when Draco was done with the research you had helped him out with and only had to write the conclusion and had offered you that you could already go to bed, you had refused to do so, suggesting you could proofread the essay after he was done. And even though Draco had assured you that you didn’t have to and if you really wanted to, you could also do so the next morning, you had told him with a shrug of your shoulders that you would wait for him anyway. You were rather sure that you couldn’t fall asleep knowing that while you were lying in your cosy bed, Draco was still up and working on his homework. And that´s what you had told him too, even though you had had to suppress a yawn when you did so.

But now that Draco looked at you, he realized that for once in your life, you had actually been wrong. You could easily fall asleep while he was still working. Because here you were, proofing yourself wrong. A small smile crept on Draco´s lips as he watched you, your head bedded on your arms that you had crossed over the last book you had been reading. You faced Draco, but your eyes were closed, your lips slightly parted, as you breathed steadily. The boy felt a wave of affection washing over him, as he saw you sound asleep like this. Because even though you hadn’t stayed awake like you had promised, you had stayed with him. You had rather fought the sleep by his side until you had eventually lost the battle, than returning to your dorm, leaving him alone. And after all; how could he feel anything else but adoration when you were looking so perfect, even in your sleep. So beautiful and carefree, making Draco believe that even with all the bad things happening in this world, everything would turn out just fine, as long as you would just exist?

He could have sat there all night, watching you sleep, but eventually, the thought settled in, that if you would stay like this for hours, in a probably rather uncomfortable position, your shoulders crouched and your neck twisted, you would wake up in the morning with stiff limbs and probably in pain. And that was something he couldn’t bear to see. Not after everything that you had done for him today. Quickly, Draco considered his possibilities. He couldn’t leave you like this, especially not all by yourself, but he also couldn’t get you to your dorm, since if he would try carrying you up the stairs, he would probably fall and break both of your necks. The Slytherin´s gaze wandered through the by now completely abandoned common room, until it settled on one of the couches. It surely wasn’t perfect, not good enough for you, but it would do for a night.

Draco made his way through the room to the couch, fluffing up the pillows and got the cosiest blanket ready, before he walked back to you. Careful and anxious to wake you up, Draco picked you up, freezing when you slightly shifted in his arms, but you only let out a small sigh, before you melted into his touch, not opening your eyes once.

Finally, Draco reached the couch, laying you down, loosening the tie that you were still wearing around your neck in accordance with the dress code and tucking you in. When he had made sure that you were as comfortable as possible, Draco stopped in his tracks for a second to take in the sight of you. Carefully, he brushed some strands of your hair out of your face, having to resist the urge to press a kiss on your temple.

“Sweet dreams, love.”, he mumbled, before he went to one of the armchairs nearby, and sat down as well. He wouldn’t leave you alone tonight, not only because he just couldn’t bring himself to leave you yet, wanting to be in your presence for as long as possible, but also because he couldn’t bear the thought that you wake up, alone and irritated, confused on how you had gotten there, being all by yourself. No, Draco would be there when you would wake up. He would always be there for you, no matter what. That was the last thought on Draco´s mind before he slowly drifted off into sleep as well, the image of you sleeping angelically on the couch still in sight, even when his eyes were already closed.

When you woke up, you needed a moment to orientate yourself. Only when your eyes got used to the dim light surrounding you, you realised that you were not in your bed, but in the common room. Slowly, the memories of the last evening started to set in. But some parts were missing. You still remembered how you had been sitting at one of the desks with Draco and waiting for him to finish his essay. At some point, your eyes had gotten more and more heavy, but you had refused to close them. You were rather sure that at some point you had failed and fallen asleep.

This however didn’t explain why right now, you were lying on one of the couches, covered with a blanket, while the fire in the fireplace had almost burned down, the only source of light being the embers, still gleaming inside. You sat up and rubbed your eyes, before letting your gaze wander around the room. That´s when it settled on a figure sunken down in one of the armchairs not far away from you, their blond hair reflecting the shimmer of the ember.

You felt the warmth flushing through your body as you watched Draco sitting there, his head resting in one of his hands, a small frown on his face, even though he was sleeping. By now you could somewhat imagine what had happened after you had fallen asleep and the mere thought of Draco taking care of you, making sure you were comfortable, before he passed out in the chair himself, exhausted from the hard and long day, made your heart beating faster in a way only Draco could do. If that boy only knew what his random acts of kindness did to you.

But as you were watching him, mesmerized by the view and lost in your thoughts, arguing with yourself whether you should wake him up so Draco could actually get to bed or just let him sleep where he was right now, the boy stirred in his sleep, before slowly opening his eyes, and straightening up in his chair with a yawn.

“Morning, sleepyhead.”, you smiled, and Draco´s head spun around, the confused look on his face giving place to a grin.

“Says you, love. An entire herd of trolls could have clumped through the room and you would have still slept like a baby.”

“Can you blame me?”, you yawned.

Draco shook his head, still smiling.

“Not at all. But that´s why you should really go to bed now. We need to get at least some hours of sleep.”

With a heavy sigh, you let yourself fall back onto the couch and looked at Draco with puppy eyes.

“But I´m so comfy right now.”

The Slytherin arched an eyebrow.

“More comfortable than your bed?”

“Warmer. And also,”, you cuddled yourself deeper into the blanket, “You are here.”

Oh, if you only knew what your words did to the poor boy´s heart. But instead of telling you, Draco only grinned cockily at you.

“But maybe I want to go to bed.”

“Or you could just join me here.”, you teased him even though you made your voice sound as innocent as possible before you added in a more serious voice: “Unless you actually want to leave. I get it. It was a long day and if you want to go to bed…”

But you hadn’t even finished the sentence before Draco stood up and walked up to you with long strides. Lucky for him, you didn’t even notice how wobbly his legs felt when he walked up to you, praying he wouldn’t stumble over his own feed, and how relieved he was when he finally sat down next to you. You huddled closer to Draco, who wrapped an arm around you and sighed.

“You know I just can´t turn you down, no matter what you ask from me, don´t you?”

You felt your cheeks heating.

“You´re just too good for me, Draco.”, you smiled.

And you meant it. You knew over all Draco surely wasn’t what people would describe as the good guy, but to you, he was just perfect. And the way he treated you was so much more than you could ever ask for. If you only knew what you did to deserve it.

“There´s nothing as too good when it comes to you, love.”, the Slytherin smiled, before placing a small kiss on the crown of your head, making chills run down your spine.

“No, I mean it. You are. You are perfect in every way. And I have absolutely no idea why you are doing all of this for me.”

A low chuckle rumbled in Draco´s chest.

“You really are that clueless, aren’t you?”

You sat up a bit straighter to look at Draco properly. There was amusement shimmering in his eyes, that were otherwise filled with so much adoration that it made you forget everything else around you. You narrowed your eyes, as you scanned his delicate features.

“Care to enlighten me then?”

If it wasn’t for your own blood swooshing in your ears, you would have probably heard Draco´s heart beating so strong he was afraid it might just jump out of his chest any second.

“Think about it, love.” He stressed the nickname in a way he had never done before. It had always rolled from his tongue so easily, but this time its weight was lying heavily on you. “For what reason do you think I am doing all of this?” Your breath got stuck in your throat as Draco raised his hand, his thumb brushing over your cheek, before he tucked some strands of hair behind your ear, his hand coming to a halt there, fingers tangled in your hair. “For what reason do you think I always want to be near you?” His gaze flickered over your face, scanning all your different features closely, as if he wanted to memorize them forever. “For what reason do you think I get so distracted in a goddamn class by how absolutely beautiful you are that I´m not even able to do my work and even when I have to face the consequences I still rather spend my time looking at you and listening to your voice than dealing with it, even if this will only get me into more trouble?” Was that what had happened? Had Draco actually been so distracted by your sheer existence that he just couldn’t bring himself to care about the class anymore? “And why do you think I got so upset when fucking Pucey had nothing better to do than flirt with you when all I wanted was to spend some time with you?” Draco let out a shaky laugh. “Do you have any idea how hard it was not to hex him then and there? Because trust me, it was one of the hardest things I ever had to do. Maybe the only thing harder than this…” His eyes finally came to a halt, meeting yours, so you could see all the raw emotions lying within them before his gaze dropped to your lips, where it stilled. “The only thing harder than this is to be around you every day, acting as if we are nothing but friends when all I want to do is to hold you and kiss you and to tell you how much I love you and continue to do so for the rest of my life.” Draco let out a breath he hadn’t even been aware he was holding, resting his forehead against yours. “Because it´s the hardest thing in the world, loving someone so much, who is just so oblivious to absolutely everything you say or do.”

Until that very day, you had no idea that a heart could stop beating and hammering in your chest so fast at the same time, but this was exactly what was happening to you right now. All the emotions flushing through you were way too much but at the same time you knew it would never be enough. Not when it came to Draco. Your voice was only a whisper, but you were just relieved that you still had one at all, when you whispered: “Maybe you should just stop pretending then. Because maybe this is all that she is hoping for.”

Draco hummed in response.

“But maybe this is just so much more than I could ever hope for. So much more than I deserve.”

“You deserve to be happy, Draco. And when it comes to me – I´m willing to do whatever I need to just so you can be.”

“Stay with me, then.”, he whispered against your lips, his voice sounding husky. “That´s all I need.”

You nodded.

“I will.”

And when your lips finally met Draco´s all the doubts either of you had ever had just vanished into the air. Because you both were certain that this was right where you belonged. Nothing that felt as good as this kiss could ever be anything but just how things were supposed to be. Within seconds, the world fell into place for you, Draco asked himself how he could have ever doubted that you didn’t love him the same way he had loved you ever since he could remember and you wondered about how you could have ever mistaken Draco´s behaviour for anything but what it actually was. Love. A love that had built up over all those years the two of you had been friends, something you had always known had been there but had never acted on, something that had grown just so much stronger with every single thing the two of you had been through and a love that would continue to grow with everything that you would witness together from this very second on.

When finally, Draco pulled away from you and looked into your starstruck eyes, he couldn’t help the sly grin that made it to his face.

“And you really had no idea?”

You shook your head, the blush on your cheeks only deepened.

“Merlin, (Y/n), how oblivious can one be?”

“Maybe you should just stop beating around the bush from time to time and just tell me what´s going on, Malfoy.”, you returned.

Draco chuckled and placed a small kiss on your temple.

“Fair enough.”, he agreed.

You raised an eyebrow in response.

“Really? That´s it? No arguing? No distraction? No teasing? Merlin Draco, do I need to be worried?”

“Don’t get fooled by it. This is only for tonight. I have a lifetime to do all of those things now. Because I can promise you that now I have witnessed this once, I will never let you go again.”

You rolled your eyes and let out a dramatic sigh.

“What have I only gotten myself into?”, you groaned, but at the same time, you got more comfortable in Draco´s arms again, feeling the tiredness slowly sneaking back into your body that had been forgotten over everything that Draco had told you before.

“Don´t tell me you would want it any other way.”, Draco grinned, as he pulled you even closer.

And oh, he was so right with that.

“Don´t you dare, Blaise!”

“What? You want them to be late for class?”

“Just give them five more minutes.”

“What difference does that make?”

“It gives me time to fetch (Y/n)´s silly muggle camera and capture this moment for eternity. “

“You wouldn’t let them forget anyway.”

“Obviously I wouldn´t. I have to tease them about this for the rest of their lives.”

“Admit it, Pansy, you only want to do so because they look just adorable.”

“Well, maybe. A little bit. But that doesn’t mean I can´t use it against them.”

And Pansy and Blaise were right. Draco and you, cuddled up under a blanket on one of the couches in the common room, Draco´s arms wrapped around you, and your head resting on his chest, the morning sun shining through the window was a lovely sight indeed. And even though Draco would claim to hate his friends for showing around the pictures later everywhere, telling everyone an absolutely heartwarming and totally made-up story about how the two of you had ended up there, secretly he was thankful that they did. Because like that they showed everyone that you were finally his, just like he had always been yours. And maybe – just maybe – he would keep a copy of the picture in his nightstand and in the nights he didn’t sneak down to the common room to cuddle with you until the sun would rise again, he would pull it out, staring at the picture of you in his arms, both of you with a faint smile on your lips, until he would fall asleep. But honestly, he couldn’t wait for a time when he wouldn’t need a photo anymore to look at you, because you would fall asleep next to him every single night and he could just look at you instead. Because who needed a picture when the reality was just so much better than all the dreams he used to have about it, back when he hadn’t even had the faintest idea that not even the best ones would come close to the feeling of actually having you in his arms?

“Draco?”

The blond boy just hummed in response.

“When will you be done with this?”

“Just a little longer, love.”

“But that´s what you already said an hour ago.”, you said, letting out a dramatic sigh.

“It will take how long it will take, (Y/n). After this I´m all yours, I promise.”

“Pff, that´s what you always say.”, you huffed. “Until something else comes to your mind which is much more important than me again.”

“There is nothing more important to me than you, my love. You know that.”

“Oh yeah? Is that so? Because right now, you aren’t even looking at me.”

Draco groaned in defeat as he put down the quill and turned around in his chair to finally face you. And even though he held an annoyed frown on his face, originally intending to scold you, his expression softened rather quickly when he saw you lying on his bed in one of his sweaters, looking at him with doe eyes. Even though you were trying to hide it, Draco just knew you for way too long to miss the disappointment in your eyes. And while Draco Malfoy wasn’t one to care much about the feelings of others, when it came to his beloved girlfriend, he just couldn’t bear to see even the slightest hints of dejection.

So he quickly scribbled down one last sentence onto his parchment, before finally closing the book he had been hovering over for the last few hours, and with a few large steps, he walked over to his bed, letting himself fall down right next to you. The moment you felt the mattress lowering, you quickly shuffled over, huddling into the embrace of your boyfriend. Draco put an arm around you, as you rested your head on his chest.

“Are you happy now, love?”, he asked, letting out a low chuckle as you nodded eagerly. You could feel the vibration in his chest going through your entire body, making chills run down your spine. “But you know I can´t stay long, don’t you? I still have stuff to do.”

You pouted.

“Stuff, what kind of stuff?”

When Draco didn’t answer immediately, you glanced up at the boy, noticing how with a blank expression, he stared into the void.

“Draco?”, you asked in a soft voice, making the boy beneath you jolt.

He looked at you, seemingly confused for a second, before he got a grip on himself again and cleared his throat.

“Nothing- Nothing important. I´ll just… I´ll meet up with Crabbe and Goyle. We… still have… It´s some Quidditch stuff, you know? Nothing interesting.”

You frowned.

“Six years and I still don’t like these guys. I mean, the others are all so nice. Pansy and Blaise… But these two? I don’t know what you see in them.”

Draco raised an eyebrow as he glared down at you.

“You made it very clear that I shouldn’t criticize you for the choice of your friends early on. So do me the same favour, love, alright?”

You nodded in defeat, but you couldn’t help but add: “But you have to admit that they are… well, not the sharpest knife in the drawer to say the least.”

A small grin sneaked on your boyfriend's face again.

“Probably can´t argue with that. Merlin, I feel like a troll could beat them in their exams if it would try very hard.”

You let out a small giggle, making Draco´s grin only widen.

“So why don’t you just ditch your troll friends and spend the evening with me?”, you asked, glancing at Draco through your eyelashes hopefully.

But the boy just shook his head.

“Believe me, love, there´s nothing I´d rather do, but you know just as well as I do I can´t.”

“I know.”, you sighed. “The team would be lost without you, wouldn’t it? And I obviously can´t take that responsibility.”

“The team?”, Draco frowned, before he seemed to remember. “Oh yeah, of course. We can´t let those filthy Gryffindors win the cup once more, can we?”

You looked at Draco doubtfully. Because even though his words were making sense, by the way, his voice sounded and he avoided your gaze, you knew he was lying to you. Which unfortunately happened rather often since the school year had started.

You didn’t know what had happened over the summer holidays before your sixth year at Hogwarts had started. But you knew that ever since then, Draco had changed. At first, you had suspected that it had something to do with you and your relationship – for a frightful moment, you had even suspected that Draco might had fallen out of love with you or had someone else - but soon you had realized that Draco didn’t only behave differently around you, but in general. He was thin-skinned and easy to distract, and even though he spent much more time studying and practising Quidditch, his grades had dropped drastically and even though you hated to admit, Draco was a worse player than he had ever been before. From time to time, you had the feeling that the only moments he could truly relax were when it was just the two of you. Draco and you by now knew each other for way too long to actually hide your feelings from one another and most of the time it was useless anyway because you could read each other like a book. You loved how much your boyfriend was able to calm down when he was around you, however, you would have certainly preferred it, if he would have just told you what it was that was troubling these days. But even though you had encouraged him many times that he could talk to you and you had promised him that whatever he would tell you would stay between just the two of you, Draco had stubbornly denied to tell you anything at all. At some point, you had just given up trying, not because you didn’t want to know or because you didn’t care, but because you felt as if the most that you could do for the boy you loved was just to be there for him and give him the safe space he apparently needed so bad these days, making sure he knew that he could always talk to you but also not pressured into anything. You trusted Draco enough to believe that he would come around by the time he was ready to tell you, and until then, you had decided that you would just enjoy the moments you still had left with him, just like the one you had now.

So instead of pushing him any further, you just pecked his jawline, before nuzzling only deeper into his chest.

“I have no doubt you won´t. They won´t stand a chance against you this year.”

“Especially if my beautiful girlfriend will be in the stands cheering for me.”

“I´ll make sure to bring my pom-poms.”, you chuckled.

“I don´t care about those things. Though I´d really like to see you in one of those uniforms someday.”

You let out a laugh.

“Oh, I bet you do. But you should be focused on the snitch. Not on me.”

“As if I ever could take my eyes off you. No matter what you are wearing.”

“Don´t you dare to put the blame on me for last year´s disgrace, Malfoy!”

“I would never even dream of doing so, my love.”, he smiled, as the boy only pulled you closer, making you smile against his chest.

You weren’t quite sure how much time had passed, but Draco and you were still lying in his bed. Your head was still placed on his chest, but by now, you faced the ceiling, while Draco had wrapped an arm around you. A comfortable silence had spread across you, while you had put his large hand into your smaller ones, absentmindedly fiddling with the rings covering his delicate fingers. Your fingertips were tracing the lines in his hand, making Draco shiver under you, before turning it around, dancing over the back of it. You followed the lines of his veins, clearly visible under his pale skin, before you reached the button of his white shirt. Draco´s breath slowed down more and more, and his right arm, which was tangled in your hair, slowed down his movements more and more, while the blond boy´s mind slowly but steadily drifted away more and more. You smiled to yourself, as you played with the button, opening and closing it a few times, before suddenly, you stopped short. Because at the upper edge of the slit in Draco´s sleeve, you made out some lines of dark ink, a harsh contrast on his fair skin.

“What is this?”, you asked, as you curiously tried to tuck the sleeve up a bit. “Did you get a tattoo and didn’t tell me?”

Draco blinked down at you in confusion when your words made him snap out of his haze, but the moment he realized what you were talking about, he quickly pulled his arm away and jolted up, making you fall from his chest and yelp in surprise.

“Draco, what the hell?”, you laughed as you looked at the boy who was staring at you with widened eyes.

Your boyfriend took a deep breath and forced a wry smile at you.

“Sorry, love. I almost fell asleep. I just startled.”

You shrugged and smiled at him, not holding it against him.

“So tell me. What´s that?”, you asked again, nodding in the direction of Draco´s arm.

“Nothing. It´s nothing.”, Draco responded, feeling clearly uncomfortable as he avoided your gaze.

“There are pretty many things that are nothing today, don’t you think?”, you asked as you watched him gulp nervously.

“I just don´t want to bore you with unimportant things.”

“Oh please. As if you would have ever cared about this. You´ve always been ranting for hours about stuff that I don´t care about. I still remember a certain speech of almost an hour when Potter conquered you in potions at the beginning of the year.”, you huffed.

Draco narrowed his eyes.

“So suddenly you don´t care about what I´ve got to say anymore at all?”

“That´s not what I said.”

“In fact, it was.”

“No, Draco. What I´m trying to say is that I don´t mind if from time to time you also talk about things that I´m not as involved in as you or that I don´t understand. As long as it is important enough to you and you want to talk about it with me, that´s enough. Because I love you, Draco. Merlin, I love you so much you could give me a four-hour talk about flobberworms and I would gladly listen to it. And if it´s only to hear your voice. So go ahead and tell me.”

The corner of Draco´s mouth twitched up slightly.

“Well, I´m not sure if I can go on for four hours, but it´s that weird little creature that bit Crabbe in one of the lessons of this incompetent disgrace for the wizarding world calling himself a teacher, who also…”

“You know I´m not talking about the flobberworms.”, you interrupted Draco.

“But you said you would listen to me even if I would just talk about them for hours. And I thought a little personal anecdote would…”

“You´re distracting, Draco.”, you cut your boyfriend off once more. Under different circumstances, you would have probably found it funny or adorable how desperately he tried to distract you, but right now you were way too worried about the boy in front of you to continue playing his games.

“What do you want to talk about then, my love?”

“How about what´s on your arm?”

“That shouldn’t be any concern of yours.”

“Well, it is.”

“It might be, but you told me that I should tell you what I want to talk about and this certainly isn´t one of those things. Flobberworms on the other hand…”

And at this very moment, you were just done with Draco´s childish behaviour.

While the boy genuinely tried to keep on chatting about the most boring creature to ever exist, looking anywhere but at you, you quickly bent forwards, grabbed Draco´s arm and pulled up the boy´s sleeve. The second Draco realized what you were doing, he pulled away immediately, but it was already too late.

Even with the white fabric covering the black ink on his forearm again, your eyes were still fixed on the place, you had spotted them seconds ago.

Draco crossed his arms in front of his chest and let out a nervous chuckle.

“Merlin, (Y/n), if I would have known you want to rip off my clothes so badly…”

“What is this?” Your voice was surprisingly calm for what your eyes had just spotted and for what your mind was just about to process. “Draco, what the hell is this?”

“It´s nothing, love. You really don´t have to think about…”

“No, Draco. Not again. Tell me what this is. Tell me...” Your voice started to crack. “Tell me this isn´t what I think it is.”

“Well, if you already think you know better, who am I to tell you differently?” He sounded defiant, but just like you, Draco couldn´t hide the vigorous shaking of his voice.

It had been only a second, most likely only the split of it, that you had exposed the dark lines covering the inner side of Draco´s left forearm, but the picture was burned into your mind, nevertheless. Every delicate feature of the snake winding elegantly around the skull, the black appearing even darker on Draco´s pale skin; a piece of art looking way too pretty on him for the fact, that this little thing had just shattered all your hopes and dreams in no time.

“But you… you have to. Tell me I´m wrong, Draco. Please.”

The whisper almost broke Draco´s heart, yet he seemed to remain unfazed by it. He still didn’t look at you, because if the boy would have seen the tears shimmering in your eyes, it would have made everything just so much worse.

“I don´t even know what´s on your mind, (Y/n). So how can I tell you, whether you´re wrong or right?”

Obviously, he knew what you were thinking. He always knew. But for now, this seemed to be the only way to delay the inevitable.

 “Don´t… don´t make me say it. I can´t…” Your voice broke once more.

“Well if you can´t then we don´t need to talk about it anymore as well, do we?”

Finally, Draco glanced up at you. When he saw you blinking vigorously, trying to prevent the tears in your eyes from falling, he automatically extended his hand to touch you, to offer you some kind of comfort, but you shied away from his touch, lowering your gaze. Draco flinched as if he had burned himself. You could only imagine the hurt lying in his eyes now, but at this moment, you didn´t really care. How could you when the guy you had always loved more than anyone else had betrayed you in the worst way possible?

“Love?” Draco´s voice was gentle, way too gentle to come from a boy who has chosen a life of fear and death. “Love, please talk to me.”

Your gaze was fixed on your lap, your hands played with themselves nervously.

“You said we shouldn’t talk about it. So I don´t think there is anything left to say, is it?”

“I… I didn’t mean it that way, (Y/n). You know that.”

“Do I, Draco? How would I?”

“Because it´s me. Love, you know me better than anyone else does. If there´s anyone out there who understands me then it´s you.”

You glared up at the boy in front of you, eying him suspiciously.

“How dare you say that? How dare you to say that I know you? That I understand you? I don’t recognize you, Draco. I always trusted you. I was always by your side. And you used me like this. Lied into my face all the time. So how can I think that I´ve ever truly known you?”

You expected Draco to object. To tell you that whatever had happened to him; that he had no choice. That this wasn´t who he wanted to be. That you were actually the only one who knew who he truly was. But instead, he just huffed.

“See, that´s why I didn’t tell you. I knew you wouldn’t understand.”

Your face fell.

“That´s what you think?”

“That´s what I think.”

You nodded as you straightened your back and wiped away the tears. A useless act you realized, since new ones were falling steadily. But you ignored it.

“Then there´s nothing left to say I guess.”

“That´s not what I… (Y/n), listen. Just lie back and calm down for a moment and then you´ll see that none of this will affect you and when you aren’t so upset anymore then we can go back to…”

“No, Draco. We won´t. None of those things. I… Honestly, I don´t even want to hear what you got to say anymore. And I certainly don´t want to calm down. Because there´s nothing to be calm about. And nothing that won´t affect me. And if you…” You gulped heavily. “If you think I´ll stay after you did this. After you lied to me. You are mistaken. I won´t stay. Not in this stupid bed, not in this stupid room and certainly…” The words almost got stuck in your throat as you choked out: “Certainly not with you.”

You wished you could just storm out of the room and slam the door dramatically, but you were still tangled into Draco´s damn sheets, which were way too soft and smelled way too much like him. That smelled way too much like home. So you just shuffled away from Draco awkwardly to the other side of the bed. Draco watched you. His face showed no emotion, as you kicked the blanket away that was still wrapped around your legs before you headed towards the door with large steps. You wished Draco would call you out. Tell you that all of this was just a misunderstanding. A bad dream. Something you would figure out together.

And he held you back indeed.

“(Y/n)?”

You had almost reached the door when his voice made you freeze. This was it. The moment he could take everything back. The moment he could fix it. Where he could save your relationship. Save you.

“You won´t tell anyone about this. Will you?”

And just like that, even the last sparkle of hope for a happy ending for the both of you was stifled. You let out a dry laugh, a sound neither Draco nor you were used to hearing from you.

“Why? What would you do if I did? Would you hurt me, Draco?”

Silence.

“Would you do it? Would you… If that´s what you needed to do to keep your secret, would you hurt me? Would you… would you kill me?”

When you glanced at Draco and returned his gaze, you tried to read what was on his mind. There was a small voice inside of you that told you that his eyes were begging you not to leave, telling you that he would never hurt you, that after all, you were the only thing he really needed in his life, the only one he genuinely loved. But when the boy still didn’t answer and just pressed his lips together, you came to the realisation, that all of these assumptions, all the things you thought you knew about Draco, were based on a lie.

You didn’t know how long you had been standing there, staring into the eyes of the boy who you had thought loved you unconditionally until you realized that Draco wouldn’t give you an answer. And especially not the one you were hoping for.

You nodded slowly, finally managing to tear your gaze apart from the blond Slytherin still sitting on the bed, you had been cuddling in carelessly only minutes ago.

“At least I know now.”

And with that, you turned around, leaving the dorm and everything you had ever been hoping for behind you, once and for all.

If somebody would ever ask you, what time of your life had been the worst, you would probably tell them about the days after Draco´s and your way had parted. Because while all you wanted to do was curl up in your bed and never leave your dorm again, the school made that impossible. And with the classes came the questions. It just seemed to be incomprehensible to everyone, how (Y/n) (Y/l/n), the girl who was known to had softened the heart of the Slytherin prince, and Draco Malfoy had parted ways. One day, everything had seemed so perfect and the two of you had seemed to be so much in love, and the next day, the both of you acted as if the other one simply didn’t exist, claiming to not care, while in fact, everyone saw how much you did care. And obviously, everyone wanted to know how it had come to this unforeseeable event. And while people barely ever dared to talk to Draco, especially now that he seemed to be more thin-skinned than ever, you were much easier to approach, and people were literally bombarding you with questions. People you didn’t even know were coming up to you with inappropriately intimate questions about your relationship with Draco, or more precisely, the ending of it. At some point you snapped, hexing some giggling Gryffindors with the Bee-Sting Jinx, causing their skin to swell and giving it an unsavoury pinkish tinge. Until that very day, the girls hadn’t left the hospital wing yet, and you couldn’t exactly say you were sorry to hear.

Who you couldn’t get rid of that easily, however, were your own friends. Especially Pansy stuck to her guns, trying to get you to finally reveal what had happened between Draco and you. You couldn’t blame your friend though, since she had been the one staying up several nights ever since Draco and you had broken up, providing you with some hot chocolate and the most heart-wrenching romance novels, while you were crying at her shoulder. But even Pansy couldn’t get you to tell her what had happened that day in Draco´s dorm.

You had been debating with yourself forever about whether or not you should tell anyone what you had witnessed that day, and until now, you hadn’t come to a conclusion yet. At least that´s what you told yourself. Because the truth was, you knew very well, that you wouldn’t tell a soul, what Draco had done. And not because you were scared that Draco could actually hurt you. In fact, you were quite sure that no matter what he would try, nothing would hurt more than his betrayal. No, the reason why you wouldn’t give away what you knew about the blond boy now, was rather the complete opposite of the idea that you could actually be scared of him, yet it was just as simple as this. Because the truth was no matter what Draco had done and no matter what he would do in the future, you were still completely and utterly in love with the boy. And you also knew that this would never change. And even though you knew that – regardless of your feelings- breaking all ties with Draco was the right thing, that didn’t mean that you simply didn’t have the heart to tell anyone that Draco Malfoy was by now a Death Eater and just like that destroy his future and most likely getting him a ticket to Azkaban without a return.

In one of your several sleepless nights you had debated with yourself that Draco wasn’t even of age yet and that he had probably been pushed into all of that and no one would actually send him to Azkaban, but then again, if You-Know-Who would find out that Draco had been exposed, he would certainly find a way to get rid of him, as a punishment or to simply prevent him from spilling some secrets. Sure, Draco was probably already in a more than dangerous situation anyway, but you had the feeling that exposing him would most likely only make things worse. And while you had also considered asking Professor Dumbledore or Professor Snape, who had always been the closest to Draco out of all the professors, for help, you had quickly realized, that the Headmaster wasn’t as powerful anymore as he had used to be and you were also quite aware of all the rumours surrounding the Head of the Slytherin house. And if Professor Snape was actually still loyal to You-Know-Who, once again, this would only make things worse.

So all there was left to do, was to keep your mouth shut and trying to avoid Draco as much as possible. Because while all the comments of the other students were pretty annoying, whose presence hurt you more than anyone else’s, was Draco´s. And while you had always known what had been going on in the blond head for the past few years, by now you had absolutely no idea. Most of the time, he ignored you, not even seeming to even notice your presence, but from time to time, you caught him, staring at you from across the room with a blank expression on his face and something in his eyes, that you couldn’t quite put a finger on. But that might had also been due to the fact, that neither of you could bear the glances of the other one for more than a few seconds and whenever your gaze met his, the both of you quickly looked away again, trying to ignore the stinging in your heart whenever this happened. Luckily, you didn’t meet Draco often these days. He often skipped the meals, and even to most of the classes he rarely appeared anymore. And while you were mostly lucky about the fact that you didn’t stumble across the Slytherin that often these days, there was still a small voice inside your head, worrying about Draco´s concerning behaviour, wondering how he would be able to pass the exams at the end of the year and how long he would be able to go on at all, with the little he ate and apparently also slept, concluding from the dark circles under his eyes.

Your friends however pointed out, that you didn’t look much better either. The breakup tugged on your nerves much more than you wanted to admit, and you also slept bad these days, and while you regularly appeared to the classes and meals, in the classes, you barely even listened to what the teachers were saying, mostly staring at the blank spot where Draco was supposed to sit and during the meals you mostly just shoved the food on your plate around unenthusiastically. Your thoughts often drifted to the blond boy, making you forget everything around you, just like you did now.

You were sitting at the Great Lake with some of your friends, who were, now that you had finished your homework, happily chatting about all different kind of themes. You on the other hand were just staring at the lake absentmindedly, doodling onto the parchment in front of you, which was already filled with the few sentences that you had scribbled down as a poor excuse for your homework. Lost in your thoughts, you didn’t even notice how a tall figure approached you until he stood right in front of you and cleared his throat.

You flinched and glanced up quickly, the confusion on your face slowly giving way to a small smile.

“Hey, Blaise.”

“(Y/n).”, he grinned, giving you a short nod as a greeting. “Do you have a second?”

You put the parchment on your lap aside and shrugged your shoulders.

“Sure. Why don’t you sit down?”

“Actually, I was hoping to talk to you alone.”, he said, glaring at your friends that eyed the two of you curiously.

You let out a sigh, before you got up.

“Wanna go on a walk then?”

Blaise just nodded again, before he walked towards the lake, not even looking back at you once.

You quickly said your friends goodbye, before with some quick steps, you caught up with Blaise again. For a few minutes, the two of you were just walking next to each other in silence, until the Slytherin boy finally cleared his throat.

“So… How are you?”

You glanced at him suspiciously.

“Why do you ask?”

“It´s been a while since we talked. I mean, we don´t see each other that often anymore since Draco and you…” He trailed off, his gaze fixed on the ground in front of him.

Even though Blaise and you weren’t as close as Draco and he was, you knew for sure that Blaise wasn’t a man of many words, and the fact that he actively had been looking for you and was bringing up such an uncomfortable topic on his own made you suspect that there was more to this conversation than met the eye at this moment.

You sighed.

“Just spit it out, Blaise. What is it?”

“Listen, I know it´s none of my business what happened between Draco and you and I…”

“That´s right, this is absolutely no concern of yours.”, you interrupted him, before he could say anything else. “So why do you still bring it up then?”

Blaise raised an eyebrow at you.

“For real, (Y/n)?”

You rolled your eyes.

“No, I´m joking. So just tell me what you have to say.”

The Slytherin stopped in his tracks and turned around to you.

“For Salazar's sake. Draco misses you, (Y/n). He´s absolutely miserable since the two of you have broken up and it absolutely sucks to see him like this.”

You stared at Blaise with slightly widened eyes, surprised by that -for the quiet boy quite unusual- emotional outburst. For now, however, this was only the second most important thing about your interaction with the Slytherin. Because what stuck way more with you was what Blaise had said to you. Because if Blaise was actually right, Draco felt the exact same way about your breakup as you did. And while you could feel your heart stinging in your chest at the thought that your actions might had hurt the boy you still loved so much, the reasons for your behaviour were still much more important to you than the consequences, weren’t they? And for now, cutting off as many strings between Draco and you was for you the only reasonable reaction to the fact that he had not only irrevocably turned to the dark side, but had also kept this not exactly insignificant detail as a secret from you. Because if you wouldn’t have taken any consequences from this, if you would have just kept going, ignoring the fact that you didn’t even know anymore who the person claiming to want to spend the rest of his life with you was, what would that have said about your relationship to Draco and most importantly about yourself as a person? So even if the fact that your actions might had hurt the blond boy and with that hurt you even more than they already did as well, you knew that your decision had been right. You couldn’t be in a relationship with a person who you weren’t even sure if you knew them properly and ending things was the only logical conclusion. But how were you supposed to explain that to Blaise?

“Listen, Blaise, it´s not like I wanted this. Not like I have fun doing this. But it´s the right thing. After what Draco has done…”

You didn’t finish the sentence, staring at your feet instead.

“What could he possibly have done wrong that you are so upset with him?”, Blaise asked, sounding genuinely irritated. “On the same day in the classes everything still seemed to be alright and only a few hours later you act as if Draco has murdered your favourite owl.” He stopped in his tracks and glared at you. “Hold on, he didn´t, did he?”

You couldn’t help but let out a small laugh as you shook your head.

“No, he didn’t.”

Blaise let out a sigh of relief.

“See, it can´t be that bad if you´re still laughing about it.” He remained silent for a few moments, but when you didn’t answer and just shrugged your shoulders, he continued: “I know Draco can be difficult from time to time, (Y/n). But what I know just as well is that he loves you and that he would never hurt you on purpose. So maybe it was just a misunderstanding or he just…”

“Oh, trust me, there was not much room for misinterpretation.”, you interrupted him bitterly.

Blaise shrugged his shoulders helplessly.

“If you say so. But maybe it would still help you to talk to him once more. Or at least listen to what he has to say to you.”

“As if he would have ever tried. He´s ignoring me ever since.”

“So do you.”

“I have every reason to. Trust me, Blaise.”

“Maybe Draco just wants to give you some space. And when you´re ready, he will gladly come up to you and maybe you can work it out then. I´m sure of that.”

You remained silent. Blaise let out a sigh.

“Just think about it, (Y/n).”

You nodded in response.

“I will.”

Blaise gave you a wry smile.

“That´s all I can ask for for now, I guess.”

“Trust me, it is.”

The Slytherin let out a low chuckle.

“Alright then my job here is done, I guess. I still have Quidditch practice anyway. See you around, (Y/n).”

You returned his smile half-hearted.

“See you, Blaise.”

The Slytherin had already turned away from you, when suddenly, he stopped, looking back at you once more.

“Draco loves you, (Y/n). He´d do anything for you. You just have to ask for it. And if he… If he would be up to something stupid…” Blaise looked at the ground, shifting his weight uncomfortably. “Draco knows right from wrong, even if he doesn’t always admit it. So if he has gotten himself into something, I´m sure he has a good reason for it. And I also know for sure that you love him way too much to let him go through this alone.”

And with that, the tall boy finally turned away completely, leaving you alone by the shore, looking at the water, as your thoughts were murmuring in your minds just like the waves in front of you.

The following night, you didn’t sleep as bad as you had ever since you had left Draco in his dorm that day, hunted by his face in your dreams just as much as when you were lying awake, but you simply didn’t sleep at all.

After a few sleepless hours, before you were even realizing what you were doing, you snug up to your wardrobe, pulling out the sweater you had tucked in there carelessly the day you had returned from Draco´s dorm for the last time. When back then you had noticed that you were still wearing Draco´s clothes, you had ripped it off immediately, stuffing it into the deepest corner of your closet. And until that very day, you had refused to take it out there again. But for some reason, tonight you just couldn’t resist.

When you were lying in bed again, the sweater covering you like a blanket and inhaling Draco´s scent that by now already threatened to vanish, Blaise´s words echoed through your head. You knew that Draco and Blaise were good friends and that Blaise probably actually just hated to see his friend suffer after you had broken up with him, yet his last words made you suspect that maybe Blaise knew even more than he had told you. But then again, he hadn’t said anything that hadn’t gone through your mind as well over the last few days. While in the second you had seen the dark mark placed on your boyfriend´s arm, you had felt nothing but disappointment and betrayal. You had been wondering how Draco had still been willing to join the Death Eaters, after everything You-Know-Who had done to this world – and also to his family. Because after all, Draco´s father was sitting in Azkaban because he had been caught as a part of the very same group his son had now joined as well. As you had thought about it later once more, however, you couldn’t had helped but wondering whether it had actually been Draco´s free will to follow in his father’s footsteps. And after your talk to Blaise, you were wondering even more about the blond boy´s motives. Because while it was quite possible that for Blaise the pieces had just fallen together just like they had done for you, it was also possible that he knew something more about what exactly was going on with Draco. This thought however was almost just as hurtful. Because that would mean that Draco would trust his roommate more than he trusted you. And if you were honest, this had probably been the worst thing about the situation from the very beginning. You had always known that Draco had always been fascinated by the dark arts and that his family had taught him some values and beliefs that were in your eyes very extreme, to put it nicely, but you had never actually minded. Because you knew a side of Draco, that he rarely showed to others. He had granted you a look behind the walls he had put up, and what you had seen there had been what you had fallen in love with. And what you still were in love with. You thought you had known all of Draco, all his dreams and his fears, just as he knew all of you. And to discover that there was a part of him that he had intentionally hidden from you, simply broke your heart. At what point in your relationship had you lost his unconditional trust, his willingness to tell you everything? Had you ever even had it at all? Or had everything been a lie since the very beginning? You shook your head, trying to get rid of those unwelcoming thoughts. No, you knew Draco. Better than everyone else. And if there was a part of him, that you still had yet to discover, you were more than willing to do so. You knew that no matter what, things would never be the same as they used to be, but how they would develop was in your hands. And even if for now you weren’t quite sure yet, how you wanted things to turn out, you knew one thing for sure: No matter what the future would hold for you – you wanted to go through it with Draco.

Quietly, you got up from your bed and slipped into your shoes, before you sneaked to the door of your dorm.

When the cold air of the night hit your skin, you shivered. Still, you continued your way, sneaking up the stairs of the tower, placing your feet carefully to prevent the old material from creaking. The wind was stronger up here on the platform, pulling at your hair and your clothes. But you barely even noticed it, your gaze fixed on the tall silhouette leaning against the bannister. You couldn’t help the small smile that crept on your face when you took a step closer.

“I knew you would be here.”, you spoke up.

Even though your voice was soft and barely audible over the howling of the wind, the shadow flinched and turned around quickly. When his gaze met yours, you thought to see his eyes lighting up for the split of a second, before his face went blank again.

Draco´s expression didn’t change as he watched you walking towards him with narrowed eyes, until you had finally reached the railing, leaning against it right next to him, while you returned his gaze without blinking once.

“What do you want?”, he finally raised to speak. His voice sounded strange. It was the same tone he always struck when he was talking to people he considered beneath his dignity, yet you could hear it shaking slightly.

“I was looking for you.”

“You found me now, didn’t you?”

“I did.”

“So, what now?”

You bit your lip, glancing at the boy, who was glaring at you with piercing eyes.

“I want to talk.”

Draco huffed.

“Now you suddenly want to.”

“I do.”

“But maybe I don’t want to. It was the same with you when I tried to talk to you, wasn’t it?”

You raised an eyebrow.

“Can you blame me?”

Silence.

“So?”

“Why do you even care? You were the one who left, remember?”

You took a deep breath. You could argue that Draco had been the one who had started what had led to the end. That it had been the only right thing to do. That he had been the one who had let you go. But you knew that starting this argument wouldn’t bring you anywhere at that point. And after all, Draco was also somehow right.

“I… I didn’t think about anything else ever since.”, you finally admitted in a low voice.

“So that´s why you´re here? To sooth your conscience?”, he spat out.

“No, I´m here because just because I left that day it doesn’t mean that I don’t care about you anymore!”

Draco´s eyes widened slightly at your confession, one that you both had already been aware of, but also one both of you had been too proud to admit.

“Why would you?” His voice now sounded raspier than ever, and you could see that Draco´s eyes were slightly glossy. “After everything that happened. Why would you still care?”

You took a step closer to Draco. Your hand on the railing now covered his. The boy flinched, his gaze flickered to where your hands were touching, probably remembering painfully what had happened the last time your hands had been intertwined, but he didn’t pull away.

“We´ve been together for such a long time, Draco. I fell in love with you years ago and no matter what we´ve been through, I never stopped. And I… I don’t think I ever will. Even if I wanted to. So if you want me to, I will be with you. And we will get through this together. No matter what it takes. We… I trust you with my life. With everything I have and I need you to know that you can do the same. So if you tell me what is wrong, I will help you. I promise.”

You saw the corner of Draco´s mouth twitching up at your words. He removed his hand from under yours, as he closed the remaining gap between the two of you until your chests almost touched, and cupped your face with his hands. As the blond boy smiled down at you, you felt your heart skipping a beat. While your yearning over the past few days had almost eaten you up, only now that you felt his closeness once more, you realized what exactly you had been missing. And you swore to yourself that you would never let it go ever again that easily.

Draco bent down and pressed his soft lips on your forehead, making you melt into his touch even more. Then he pulled back slightly, looking at you with a softness in his eyes that you had barely ever seen before, even after all those years.

“I know, love. I know the things you would do for me, and I want you to know that I would do just the same for you. And that´s why I am so sorry. For the things I have done and the things I am about to do. And mostly…” He gulped heavily, his eyes scanning every feature of your face, taking in even the smallest details, before he continued: “Mostly I am sorry that this is never going to happen. Because I can´t tell you what I am up to. I can´t get you involved in any of those things. It doesn’t matter if you want to go back to what we were, because we won´t, (Y/n). That´s the end.” Draco took a step back, his hands slipping from your cheeks, leaving behind nothing but the coldness that was embracing you now instead of him. “I´m truly sorry.”

And with that, Draco turned around, leaving you on your own, staring at the place he had stood only seconds ago in disbelief, making you wonder who you hated more at this moment. Him for being the one to leave you this time or yourself for actually letting him go.

If you had thought that you had been at your worst after you had left Draco, you had been wrong. Because now that he had been the one leaving you behind, you felt a thousand times worse. You spend your time staring into the void and now, you weren’t simply ignoring Draco anymore, but tensing up to an unknown level, feeling the tears pricking in your eyes that had failed to do so back on the Astronomy Tower. Because while back then you had barely understood the entire situation, by now the realization slowly started to sink in. You still didn’t know what Draco was up to or what had happened to him in the past, but by now you were absolutely sure that Draco was still the same guy that had meant so much to you from the second you had placed your foot in his train department back on your ride to Hogwarts in your first year. Obviously, many things had changed since then, but the strong connection that you had always felt between Draco and you was still there. And to know that you yet couldn’t be with him for whatever mysterious reason, just made it so much harder for you to deal with the situation.

By now you just felt as if the entire world was against you and you just hated everything and everyone around you, blaming your surroundings for the fact that Draco had taken your opportunity to fix the worst mistake you had ever made in your life away from you again. And so when Blaise approached you one day, asking you how you were feeling, the poor boy was utterly confused when you glared at him with defiance of death, telling him that he should have never suggested talking to Draco and trying to fix the situation, because after all, now you knew for sure that everything was over once and for all and would never get better ever again. And when you stormed away, you were so caught up in your own thoughts and self-pity, that you didn’t even notice how Pansy joined Blaise, who still didn’t quite understand what he had done wrong, and the both of you were watching you walking away with a blank look on your face, with your eyes being glossy nevertheless.

“I really thought they would figure it out.”, Blaise said helplessly.

“You´re not the only one.”, Pansy sighed. “There must be something we can do about this. It´s unbearable to watch them like this.”

You stared at the school grounds underneath you, lying there in silence. The wind howling around the Astronomy Tower wasn’t nearly as strong as when you had been there with Draco, but over the last few days, it had gotten much colder. A shiver ran down your spine. You weren’t sure whether it was because of the cold or the memories that were flooding your mind every single time you got up here. Probably both.

You tried to recall the feeling you had had when for a wonderful moment you had thought that everything might work out after all that night. You remembered the warmth of his hands cupping your cheeks, the feeling of his lips pressed against your forehead, the overwhelming affection you had felt when Draco had looked into your eyes. But even though not much time had passed since then, you already felt all those feelings fading. And the more you tried to recall them, the quicker they vanished. And you already feared the moment, all of this would be nothing more than a distant memory, something you knew had happened to you at some point in your life, that by then would feel like the one of a stranger; a story you would know but would have anything to hold onto except for the knowledge that it did happen. You closed your eyes, trying to savour the warm feeling flooding through your body you had always felt when some grey eyes had been smiling down at you.

“You shouldn’t be up here on your own.”

You spun around quickly, looking into the very same eyes that you had just tried to remember so badly. For a second you thought that this was a sick game your mind was playing with you, to regain a shimmer of hope before suffocating it once more, but if it would have been that way, the smile Draco held on his face would actually reach his eyes and he wouldn’t hesitate to approach you, like he did now.

Finally, he made a few steps towards you, walking up to you slowly, until he had reached the banister. Draco kept his distance from you, as his gaze wandered over the land under you, just like yours had done only minutes before. You turned around again as well, eying Draco carefully from the corner of your eye. From the way his jaw clenched, and he was playing with the rings on his fingers, you could tell that he was nervous. Trying to build up the courage to finally speak up. You felt the corner of your mouth twitching upwards involuntarily. You just knew him far too well after all.

You didn’t know how long you had been standing there in silence, staring at the castle´s ground, before Draco finally spoke up.

“I really screwed up, didn’t I?”

You nodded, even though you weren’t sure if he could see since his gaze was still fixed on the landscape in front of you.

“I think we both did.”

Draco let out a small chuckle before he shook his head.

“No, (Y/n). You´ve done nothing wrong. Merlin, I think you couldn’t, no matter how hard you tried.”

“Don´t challenge me, Malfoy.”, you responded.

But the moment the words left your mouth, you regretted them again already. It just reminded you too much of your silly bickering back when everything had been just fine. Which it wasn’t anymore. So you also shouldn’t be joking around like it was.

“We both know I would fail.”

You just shrugged your shoulders in response, not willing to give in to the warmth that flooded through your body when you heard that familiar smirk in his voice.

After a few more moments of silence, you sighed and took a step back from the railing. No matter how much you wanted to stay with Draco right now, no matter how every fibre of your body was screaming at you to not walk away but only get closer to the boy you still loved with all your heart, you knew that this was probably the worst thing you could do. And the only right action right now was to leave the tower and Draco behind, as long as you were still capable of doing so.

You cleared your throat.

“I assume you came here to be alone. So I don’t want to bother you any longer.”

But before you had even turned around completely, Draco´s voice held you back.

“You don’t bother me, (Y/n). You know you never do. Besides... Actually, I was looking for you.” You froze in your steps, trying to prevent your heart from going crazy inside your chest. It didn’t work. “I… I talked a lot with Blaise and Pansy lately, you know?”, he continued. “And I figured out that maybe… I wasn’t quite fair to you.”

No, he hadn’t been. But neither had you been.

You forced yourself to smile.

“It´s okay, Draco. I don’t need your sympathy. I´ll be just fine.”

This was a lie. And the blond boy knew it just as well as you did. Still, he just nodded.

“I know you will be. But…” Draco took a deep breath. “I won´t. Not without you.”

And with that confession, all the walls the two of you had built up around you, tumbled down just like that. You turned around to Draco again, who was standing there, looking defeated, shoulders sloping, and his gaze fixed on his shoes. His lips were trembling dangerously, in a way you had never seen before.

That was all you needed. With a few quick steps, you closed the gap between the Slytherin and you and wrapped your arms around him. It took Draco a few moments to return the gesture, but when he did, he held you impossibly close, as if he never wanted to let you go ever again. And in this moment, he didn’t have any intention to do so indeed. You buried your face in his chest, inhaling his familiar scent and enjoying the feeling of comfort his embrace granted you.

“I´m sorry, love. I´m so sorry.”, Draco mumbled into your ear, his face hidden in your hair.

“It´s okay. It´s alright.”, you whispered repeatedly, clenching onto him, holding Draco up, just like he did with you.

Finally, Draco loosened his grip around you slightly, not much, but just enough so he could look down at you.

“I promise I will tell you everything there is to say. And I will answer all your questions. But just so you know – I never wanted this. None of this. And the least of all I wanted to hurt you. But I guess I failed.”

You could feel a tear dripping down your cheek, and Draco brushed it away with his thumb gently, making you smile through the haze of tears.

“It´s not only on you. I… I shouldn’t have left that day. That wasn’t fair either. But it´s just like I promised. I will stay with you and we will get through this. Together.”

A small smile appeared on Draco´s face.

“So no lies anymore? No secrets?”

You nodded.

“No lies and no secrets. Promised.”

And when Draco pressed his lips on yours, it felt like no time had passed since that day that you had been laying in his dorm, cuddling and whispering sweet nothings into each other´s ears. Just like that, the whole world was falling into place again, as if every problem had just disappeared the moment you finally felt the lips of the boy you loved endlessly again.

When Draco pulled back, you could see the boyish smirk on his face, you had missed so much ever since the school year had started. His fingers traced over your lips and cheek, before brushing a strand of hair out of your face, making you giggle.

“Merlin, have I missed that sound.”, Draco grinned, before pressing a small kiss on the tip of your nose, making another small laugh erupting from you.

Your fingers were buried deep in Draco´s soft hair, drawing some small circles on his scalp as you got lost in his grey eyes, just like he did in yours.

“Draco?”, you spoke up after a while again.

The blond boy just hummed in response.

“There is one thing I still have to tell you.”

“And what would that be, princess?”

“I lied to you earlier once more.”

Draco raised an eyebrow questioningly.

“I said that I would be alright. That I would be fine without you.”

The boy in front of you tilted his head and looked at you with narrowed eyes.

“You did indeed. Pretty hurtful, if you ask me.”

You chuckled. “I know. Sorry.” But then you grew serious again. “That´s it. That was the lie. I wasn’t okay when you were gone. I felt absolutely miserable. And I… I don’t think that I´ll ever be. Alright. Without you, I mean. I love you, Draco. And I don’t want to be without you.”

A small smile appeared on Draco´s face. But not the cocky grin you were used to, but a real smile. A vulnerable one.

“Love, don’t you ever think for a second that I feel any different about you, alright? I love you, (Y/n). More than you can imagine. And I can promise you, that I will never stop doing so until the day I die. And beyond that.”

And that was true. Draco loved you just as unconditionally as you loved him and the both of you knew that. Maybe it was true. Maybe sometimes you only knew what you had lost when it was already gone. But maybe only like that you would also learn to fight for it to get it back once and for all.

You barely even noticed how you became dizzier and dizzier, slowly drifting off into sleep, until suddenly, your head fell to the side, hitting something hard, making you jolt up again, looking around in confusion.

“Easy there, (Y/n).”, you heard a voice chuckling next to you.

You turned your head and blinked at Draco in confusion, who grinned at you with a smug look on his face.

“Sorry, almost fell asleep.”, you mumbled, your face heating up immediately as you realized that your head had fallen, out of all the possibilities, on Draco´s shoulder.

“Nothing to be sorry about.”, your friend answered, the smile on his face only growing wider. “I´m glad to serve as your pillow. Even though I consider myself quite disappointed that apparently, our company isn´t entertaining enough to keep you awake.”

His snarky remark made you return his smile immediately.

“If you want to put it this way. But you could also argue that it is so soothing that I even feel safe enough to fall asleep.”

“I think I like this version much better, love.”, Draco chuckled.

“But regardless of your comforting company, I think I still prefer my own bed. So have a good night.”

You wanted to stand up, but Draco held you back.

“Are you sure you already want to leave, (Y/n)? You know, I wouldn’t mind functioning as your sleeping place once more.”

You let out a small laugh.

“I bet you don´t. But I feel like my neck wouldn’t benefit from this.”

“Well, if you should change your mind, you know where to find me.”, Draco winked, making the blush return to your face.

“Whatever.”, you huffed, quickly turning away from your friend, hoping he wouldn’t notice your flustered state. “Goodnight y´all.”

“I´ll join you.”, Pansy stated and quickly got up as well. But the mischievous look in her eyes already told you that she wasn’t doing so because she was tired.

And you were right. As soon as the door of the dorm you shared with your friend closed behind you, Pansy crossed her arms in front of her chest and stared at you with narrowed eyes.

At first, you seriously considered ignoring your friend, but soon enough you realized that this strategy wouldn’t get you anywhere. You knew Pansy was rather determined and once she had something on her mind, she wouldn’t rest until she had gotten what she wanted.

You sighed as you let yourself fall onto the bed, looking at Pansy, while tilting your head.

“Alright, what is it?”

You already had a faint suspicion, still, you weren’t willing to give in that easily.

“Are you for real? Isn´t it obvious?”

“Obviously not, so would you care to enlighten me?”

Pansy walked up to you and dropped onto your bed right next to you. With the slyest grin, she looked at you.

“Draco and you?”

“Draco and me what?”, you asked, trying to act the innocent, even though you knew you failed spectacularly.

“Merlin, (Y/n). You could have cut the tension with a knife back in there. For a second, I thought that boy would just take you to his dorm immediately.”

“Pansy!”, you snapped, slapping her arm, but your friend just laughed.

“Tell me I´m wrong and tell me you wouldn’t have gladly joined him.”

“Obviously I wouldn’t.”, you said, but it was a lie and Pansy knew it just as well as you.

You had had a crush on Draco ever since you could remember and ever since you could remember, Pansy teased you about it. At first, you had really tried to deny your feelings for Draco, not only in front of Pansy but also yourself, but there was absolutely no point in lying. Neither to yourself nor to your friend. Pansy knew you like the back of her hand and to her, you were like an open book. She had often encouraged you to try and talk to Draco, assuring you that she was rather sure that he shared the feelings you held for him as well, but until now you had never dared to do so. Still, Pansy had never given up. And neither did she now.

“You could have just stayed and cuddled with him. He even told you he wouldn’t have minded. And you can´t tell me that there´s a single guy out there who would let you do so unless he is all over you.”

“Or unless he´s a good friend.”

“Oh yeah, because you cuddle with Blaise all the time. Or Crabbe. Or Goyle.”

“That´s different. They just ain´t that much into it.”

“But Draco is?”

“Well, obviously.”

“But only with you.”

“That´s not true.”

“So have you ever seen him cuddle with someone else?”

You hesitated for a moment. Because even though you hated to admit – Pansy was somehow right. You really had never seen Draco comfortable with anyone else being near him in that way before. Actually, most of the time, when other people came close to him, he backed up immediately, pulling a face in disgust. But when it was you, he only pulled you closer, from time to time -when no one else was around- actively looking for your closeness, acting so much more relaxed and loosened up, when he held you in his arms. Your relationship was for sure different from the friendships the two of you held with others, but that didn’t mean that there were any romantic feelings involved from his side, did it?

When you didn’t answer, only staring into the void with a faint smile on your lips, Pansy grinned superiorly.

“That´s what I thought.”

“That doesn’t mean anything.”, you brushed her off, hiding your face in your hands.

“Well, if it doesn’t mean anything, you surely won´t mind if I get Draco here so the two of you can continue where you left off.”

You gasped as you looked at your friend, still grinning at you.

“Don’t you dare, Pansy!”

“I´m just saying. I don’t mind sleeping in the common room tonight. And I could send Draco up here and tell him that…”

“You won´t tell him, Pansy. None of this, alright? Never! You have to promise.”

Pansy just rolled her eyes.

“Obviously I won´t. What kind of friend would I be if I couldn’t keep a secret?”

And with that, she definitely had a point.

You slammed your book shut and groaned as you leaned back in your chair. The bushy-haired girl on the opposite side of the table did so as well, only that she was closing the book so carefully that you could have suspected it was a rare and precious relic and not only an old schoolbook.

“This wasn´t that bad after all, was it? We´re already halfway through.”, she spoke up.

You gasped in disbelief.

“Only halfway? I thought we were close to the end. We´ve been sitting on this for hours. I feel like my head is going to explode.”

“Well, you asked me for help because you wanted to do it right. So we will do it right.”

“Whatever.”, you huffed.

“Tomorrow at the same time then?”

“Tomorrow already? Can´t we take a break?”

“The longer we wait the longer it will take us to finish that. So we better be quick. I also got other things to do.”

“Alright then, see you tomorrow.”

You grabbed your books and threw them into your bag carelessly, making the girl in front of you frown.

You were already halfway out of the library when you turned around once more.

“And Granger?”

The girl with the red and golden tie around her neck glanced at you distrustfully. You forced your lips upwards into a small smile, even though you were quite sure it looked rather wry.

“Thanks for your help. I…” You bit your lip, trying to make the words not sound like the worst insult. “I really appreciate that.”

Carefully, the Gryffindor returned your smile.

“You´re welcome.”, she said, before turning to the books in front of her again, closing the one you had just used for your Ancient Runes essay and replacing them with the ones you used for History of Magic.

You shook your head in disbelief as you made your way to your common room. Your eyes already felt heavy and your mind groggy after the hours of work you had put into your one essay. How Granger could now continue to work on yet another one was just incomprehensible to you.

When you had finally reached the door to your common room, every thought about the Gryffindor was however replaced with the ones of a cosy spot in front of the fireplace and the much more pleasant company of your friends who would talk about much more interesting things than why the unicorn presented the number one, the graphorn however presented the number two in the language of the runes.

With a faint smile on your lips, you entered the room, heading for your usual seats. You already spotted your friends sitting there, engaged in a conversation.

You let yourself fall onto the expensive material of the armchair with a heavy sigh, stretching your stiff limbs.

“Sorry it took me so long.”, you stated. “I was sitting on that damn essay until just now. And we haven’t even finished it. Can you imagine this? Hours of work and no results yet. Merlin, this Gryffindor know-it-all all really had me on my toes. But at least it wasn’t as bad as I imagined it. I just hope that in the end all of the work will pay off. I really can´t afford yet another bad grade.”

You placed your feet on the coffee table in front of you and looked at Pansy and Blaise, who were sitting on the couch next to you, expectantly. But instead of some understanding words, you were only met with icy silence. Pansy didn’t even look at you, while Blaise´s glance shifted between you and your friend.

“What? Are you lost for words?”, you chuckled, raising an eyebrow in amusement.

“That´s one way to put it.”, Pansy muttered under her breath, her eyes shooting daggers into your direction.

You narrowed your eyes in confusion as you returned her look. Pansy was a master at daunting other people and making them feel like they had just committed a war crime just by looking at them, but normally, she reserved those glares for the people of other houses, especially the Gryffindors. And if she looked at one of her best friends like you had just drowned some kittens, you must have screwed up something really bad. But for the love of Salazar, you couldn’t figure out what it was. Your gaze shifted to Blaise, silently seeking for help, but the boy just pursed his lips and looked away.

You sighed and sat up straight, returning Pansy´s glare without blinking once.

“Alright, tell me, what is it then?”

Your friend raised an eyebrow mockingly, but there was no actual amusement in her voice as she said: “Really, (Y/n)? You can´t think of anything? You must be down even worse than we thought.”

“Down for what? What are you talking about? Is something wrong?”

“Certainly.”

“For Merlin´s sake, Pansy! Just quit your games and tell me already!”

“Why should I? If you don’t get it yourself, I´m afraid we can´t help you anymore.”

You groaned in resignation. You wouldn’t be able to get out of her what you wanted to know like this. Pansy had closed up completely and it looked like she wouldn’t open up that easy again. And you knew for sure that trying to get something out of Blaise was impossible in almost every state. Yet you took a deep breath and forced yourself to smile sweetly at Pansy.

“Alright, I see where this is going. So what does my best friend in the whole wide world wants me to do for her so she will finally tell me what I did to upset her today?”

 Pansy crossed her arms in front of her chest, still glaring at you.

“Well, I can´t tell you, because by best friend you obviously can´t be referring to me.”

Your face fell.

“What?”

Your roommate smiled at you so calmly as if she hadn’t just given you evil tidings.

“I think you heard me correctly, (Y/l/n).”

Even though the fireplace was still lit up, the fire inside burning brightly, you felt the temperature dropping by a few degrees at her words.

“Quit the show, Pansy. Either tell me what´s wrong now or stop behaving like this, this really isn’t funny.” You heard your voice shaking.

Pansy stood up from her place, walking up to you slowly, before she came to a halt right in front of you, towering over you. To her right and left you could see some people shooting you some curious glances.

“You´re right, (Y/l/n), this really isn’t funny at all. All of those years I shared my room with some filthy bloodtraitor who brought so much shame to the entire house of Slytherin.”

By now, you were absolutely sure that whatever this was about, the situation was certainly serious. Because Pansy knew better than anyone else that this insult wasn’t something to make fun of. Bloodtraitors were the worst witches and wizards to ever exist, in your opinion, willingly abandoning their rights and obligations and betraying the people closest to them, disgracing their entire bloodline. You tensed in your armchair, straightening your back as you glared up at your friend.

“What did you just say?”, you asked, still hoping that you had just misheard what Pansy had said. Your voice was dangerously low because even though it was your best friend standing right in front of you, you couldn’t guarantee that you wouldn’t hex her nastily if she would repeat what she had just said.

But Pansy didn’t seem to be impressed because she looked you dead in the eyes and said: “Do you really want me to repeat that, (Y/l/n)? Isn´t all of that already embarrassing enough for you?”

“Alright, Pansy, tell me who knotted your wand or quit the bullshit and leave me alone.”

The girl let out a humourless laugh.

“I certainly won´t leave. But I will gladly help you pack your things if you want to.”

“Why should I? This is my home just as it is yours.”

“Not anymore. You lost your privilege of calling this place home the second you got involved with that filthy mudblood.”

Now you couldn’t help but laugh yourself.

“Hold on, that´s what this is about? That I work on that essay with a Gryffindor?”

“A Gryffindor, a friend of Potter and a mudblood.”, Pansy spat out.

You shrugged your shoulders.

“So? It´s not the first time we use others to get us some good grades, is it? And if I remember it correctly you even encouraged me to do so, because you couldn’t help me.”

That was true indeed. When you had a good cry on Pansy´s shoulder about how you didn’t know how you would pass the class, she had actually told you that you should just ask the person who was on top of the class for help, since none of your friends had taken the class this year and you were on the edge of a breakdown. And the person who was the best in your class happened to be Hermione Granger. And when you had realized that there was no way of talking her into doing your work for you, you had grudgingly agreed to partner up with her for the class, something neither you nor the Gryffindor had exactly been looking forward to, but your teacher had however been delighted about. And now Pansy actually wanted to blame you for taking her advice?

“I told you to look for someone to do your work, not to become best friends with.”

“What do you think we were doing? We were studying, Pansy. Not braiding each other’s hair.”

“Yes, you were studying. And you talked with her. And smiled at her. And in the end, you even thanked her. Millicent has told me all about it.”, Pansy snapped.

Your gaze fell on the said girl, who was sitting in a chair not far away, her arms crossed in front of her chest, as she looked at you disapprovingly, thrusting her jutting jaw forward.

“So am I supposed to keep a straight face for hours, showing everyone how much I hate studying with that girl and in the end not even thanking her for helping me out, even though I still need her?”, you asked in disbelief.

Pansy just shrugged her shoulders.

“Ain´t that hard, is it?”

“Pansy, you know I need a good grade in that essay or I´ll fail that class.”

“So?”

“So? I need this class. I need those grades. I´m really sorry if you don’t like that, but right now I need to set my priorities and they certainly aren’t keeping you content with me all the time.”

“So you choose your work with a mudblood over your friends? Your family?”

“No, Pansy. I choose a good degree over your personal vendetta.”, you answered, before you stood up, now being face to face with the girl you had always thought had been your friend. “Tell me when you can think straight again, but until then just leave me alone. I really can´t deal with that childish behaviour right now.”

You wanted to pass her, but Pansy stepped in your way.

“You might consider this childish, (Y/l/n), but I´m just loyal to my house. Something that you don’t seem to care about anymore.”

“How dare you call me out like this?”, you responded, raising your voice. “I am just as loyal to this house as everyone else in here. Salazar, you know I wouldn’t be a Slytherin if I wouldn’t be.”

“Seems like even the sorting head can be wrong from time to time.”, Pansy scoffed, looking at you in disgust. Then she stepped to the side, finally paving the way. “And now get out of here, we don’t want to see you in here ever again.”

You raised an eyebrow.

“Oh, so you´re talking for everyone now?”, you mocked, convinced that the others wouldn’t share Pansy´s opinion, but as you looked around, your confidence was crushed rather quickly.

The entire common room had witnessed Pansy´s and your conversation and everyone seemed to have a clear opinion about what had happened. But not in the way you had hoped. You could see the disappointment and disgust in the eyes of the people you had shared the biggest part of your life with over the past few years, noticed how they shook their heads in disapproval, crossing their arms in front of their chests as if they wanted to build a barrier between you and the people you had considered your family. Lastly, your gaze settled on Blaise, who was still sitting on one of the couches, his face showing no emotion.

“Oh, c´mon, you all can´t be serious, can you?”, you asked, trying to force yourself to smile, but failed terribly.

“You know the rules, (Y/n).”, Blaise spoke up, his voice sounding almost bored, even though he knew very well that his words would shatter your heart. “No encounters with mudbloods. No encounters with Gryffindors. No encounters with people who threaten our world. And you did all of these things.”

By now you could feel tears pricking in your eyes, but you blinked quickly to prevent them from falling.

“You should really leave now.”, Pansy hissed, the grin on her face making you suspect that she enjoyed this situation way too much. And it broke your heart that she did so.

“Come back when you remember where you belong.”, Blaise added.

“That´s not on you to decide. You can´t just kick me out.”, you rejected.

“Well, it doesn’t look like anyone minds, does it?”, Pansy responded.

And when your gaze flickered through the room once more, you hated the fact that you had to agree with Pansy. Right now, no one seemed to be on your side. You had done nothing wrong, yet they all treated you like a leper.

“But Draco. Draco isn’t here. You can´t decide this without him.”, you started one last weak attempt, not only clutching at straws that Draco would understand your situation and support you, but also knowing that every Slytherin respected the boy and wouldn’t dare to speak up against him.

But while you saw some people looking rather uncertain at the mention of the Malfoy heir, Pansy just giggled maliciously.

“That´s just so sweet, (Y/l/n). You really think Draco is going to save you?” Her voice was dripping from fake petty. “You really think that he isn´t going to be disgusted when he finds out that you encounter the enemy? Out of all the people you think that Draco will understand your friendship with a mudblood who is also Potter´s filthy girlfriend?”

“She isn’t….”, you tried to contradict, but Pansy continued unbothered.

“You really think that he won´t hate you just as much as we all do by now. That he won´t hold your betrayal against you?” She giggled again. “You know, I will almost feel sorry for you when Draco finds out, you know that? It´s really going to break your little heart when he abandons you as well. It´s quite the opposite of what you were hoping for, isn’t it?”

You felt your heart in your mouth. You knew that all of this was just a big misunderstanding. You weren’t quite sure yet whether Pansy intentionally hurt you or if she actually thought that you had betrayed your house the way she had portrayed it, but you knew that even after everything she had said, you still loved her. She was still a part of your family and you just knew that you would be able to forgive her her cruel words one day when she would realize the mistake she had made and would beg you for forgiveness. But if she would actually reveal what you were really feeling for Draco, now that the entire house of Slytherin was listening, you knew that your trust in her would be damaged lastingly.

Your eyes were locked with Pansy´s, silently pleading to not say something that she couldn’t take back, but Pansy´s glare wasn’t affected by it. She returned your gaze without blinking once when she said -loud enough for everyone to hear-: “Merlin, (Y/l/n). You had a crush on this boy ever since the first day and now you´re throwing it all away for some stupid mudblood. That´s really pathetic.”

The room around you started to spin, slowly at first and then faster and faster, when the buzzing in your ears mixed with the whispering and laughter of the people around you. All you wanted to do was to break down right away, run to your dorm, lock the doors and never get out again, but when you saw Pansy grinning at you, apparently enjoying the effect her words had had on the room, you knew that you wouldn’t give her the satisfaction.

And when you spoke up again, you were pleasantly surprised by how calm your voice sounded, when you said: “You know what, Pansy? Even if this was true, it wouldn’t be half as pathetic as throwing away a friendship over some stupid rumours and not even listening to the person you have always called your best friend.” You waited a moment until the echo of your words had vanished in the room that had fallen quiet again, eager to listen to what you had to say, before you took a deep breath and added: “And about your question what kind of friend you would be if you aren’t able to keep a secret; the answer is you ain´t one at all.”

Just for a second, you thought you could see some regret shimmering in Pansy´s eyes, but you didn’t look at her long enough to be sure of it. You just walked past her, ignoring the glances of the people around you, as you tried to prevent your legs from giving in, at least until you would be out of sight for the people that had until this very day had meant the most to you.

But while you were rather proud of yourself for not letting your guard down while you had still been in the common room, the moment the door had closed behind you, the tears had started to fall and until now they hadn’t stopped yet. Ever since you had walked away from the common room almost half an hour ago, you had wandered around the castle aimlessly. It was sheer luck that you hadn’t crossed ways with some other students or -even more likely since it was almost curfew- any of the professors or Filch. You had absolutely no idea where you were going or how you would explain to anyone why you were still out, with puffy eyes and looking like an absolute mess. All you knew was that you certainly wouldn’t go back to your dorm tonight. Maybe if you would go to the Hospital Wing, Madame Pomfrey would allow you to stay the night if you would claim to feel sick or have a bad headache. You knew that Madame Pomfrey wasn’t easy to get fooled but given your pathetic appearance you were quite sure that she wouldn’t ask too many questions. And how you would continue from that point on, you could still think about tomorrow.  

For now, there was a much more important question occupying your mind. After the entire common room had heard what Pansy had blurted out about your feelings for Draco, you were absolutely sure, that the latest by tomorrow, the entire school would know. If you were honest, you didn’t actually care about your stupid classmates gossiping about how (Y/n) (Y/l/n) was hopelessly in love with Draco Malfoy, you knew that these kinds of rumours had spread across the castle´s grounds rather often already, but what you did care about was what Draco would think about it if someone would tell him in every small detail - and probably some rather subjective interpretation - about the entire situation and Pansy´s words.

After Pansy had exposed you like this in front of everyone and didn’t even seem to be sorry about it at all, you had already kind of accepted that you had lost your best friend – probably forever- but after everything she had said tonight, you weren´t even as sad about it as you thought you should be. Pansy had made her decision. She had decided to believe some stupid rumours without even questioning them, had decided to let her pride and her prejudices ruin one of the longest and closest relationships both of you had ever had. This was on her. Not on you. But with Draco, it was different.

Not only because you loved the boy in a way so different from everything you had ever felt before, but also because Draco would – the moment he would walk into the common room – be assailed with narratives of all the people he trusted the most and who had already formed an opinion about what had happened. And an opinion about you. And you were rather sure that most of them wouldn’t be exactly well for you.

At the mere thought of what Draco was thinking about you maybe at this very moment, if he had by now already entered the common room and heard all those nasty things about you, you felt the tears welling up in you all over again. Draco would be so disgusted by you. Maybe he would even hate you. But the worst thought about this was that he was probably disappointed in you. You could vividly imagine how the blond boy was sitting in his usual armchair, staring into the fireplace, while Pansy would tell him how you had betrayed them all. How you had betrayed him. And when Pansy would be finished, Draco would look at Blaise, hoping he would contradict, but Blaise would just shrug his shoulders and say something like: “I know, man, we all didn’t expect it. But Millicent saw them in the library. And Montague as well.” And then Draco would shake his head and let out a sigh, wondering how he could have ever been fooled by you like that. And the next time you would see him, his gaze wouldn’t be full of affection but would be cold, maybe even indifferent. And he would walk towards you, but instead of coming to a halt in front of you, he would just walk past you, probably giving you a small nod and say: “(Y/l/n)”. And then he would punish you with his neglect, knowing that this would be the worst thing that he could ever do to you.

Your vision was blurry, and your hands were shaking when you turned around the next corner, still not knowing where to go. But your walk was curbed rather harshly when suddenly, you bumped into someone.

“Easy there, (Y/n).”, you heard a deep voice chuckling.

And it was the same voice you had just played in your head over and over again. Only that now that he was actually standing in front of you, Draco´s voice didn’t sound as cold as you had imagined it but was as warm and affectionate as you were used to it. And when you glanced up at the tall Slytherin through the haze of your tears, you could see him smiling down at you without hesitation. You gulped heavily. Probably, Draco hadn’t met any fellow Slytherins yet who had told him what had happened back in the common room. This was the only explanation for why he kept so calm around you.

“I was already looking for you, love.”, Draco continued. He brushed some strands of hair out of your face, his smile unfazed.

For a moment you felt some irritation welling up in you. Why was he looking for you? Did he already know after all? But if he did, why was he still so gentle around you? But either way; why was he smiling at you while you were obviously upset, with tears still running down your face? Did he already hate you so much that he enjoyed seeing you like this?

But all those thoughts were pushed back because you forced yourself to savour every moment, he would still be nice to you. With all your willpower, you tried to imprint the softness in his eyes and the way his voice sounded when he called you by his favourite nickname for you into your mind, in case it would be the last time.

Draco however didn’t show any intention of pushing you away anytime soon. Instead, he pulled you to one on the windowsills, hidden behind one of the permeable walls of the castle, where you were shielded from curious glances. When the boy took your hand into his bigger one, you followed him without hesitation, until he sat down on the sill and signified you to do the same.

Draco just stared at you, his face showing no emotion, when you sniffled quietly, trying to wipe away the tears, still burning in your eyes. Only when you had finally given up trying to fix the mess the tears had done to your face, the Slytherin finally cleared his throat.

“So, do you want to tell me what happened?”

“You don’t really want to tell me you don’t know yet, do you?”, you responded. You didn’t intend your voice to sound that bitter, but you were just too exhausted to try and hide it.

Draco shrugged his shoulders.

“I heard quite a few things tonight. But I want to hear it from you as well.”

You let out a small laugh.

“Well, you´re the first one.”

You didn’t know why now that you finally had a chance to explain yourself, you got as defiant as you did now. But when you glanced at Draco, he just looked at you, not seeming to hold your words against you and waiting patiently for you to explain yourself. And at that moment you suddenly knew that you just had to take this chance. Obviously, you couldn’t be certain how Draco would think about the entire story, but for some reason, you just knew that the bond between the two of you was way too strong to be destroyed by all the things that had happened today. Draco and you had always sticked together. And that wouldn’t change today.

The moment you came to that realization, the words started to tumble over your lips. With every word you spoke, the pressure that had been put on you was falling off more and more. And Draco listened patiently to everything. From your fear of failing the class, to how you may or may not had been a bit friendlier to Granger than you had been supposed to and finally how everyone was holding exactly that now against you, even -or more precisely especially- Pansy, who had not only broken with you but had also said some things you had told her in confidence. That however was the only point where you left out some details. Even though you strongly suspected that some idiot had already told Draco how you were actually feeling for him, after all the time you had been keeping it from your friend, you just couldn’t bring yourself to say those words out loud in front of him.

When you had come to the end of your report, the tears, that over time had almost dried, came back in full force.

“I just don’t get it.”, you sniffled. “She is – she was my best friend. And now I don’t even know if any of this has ever been real. I mean if it would have been, she wouldn’t have done this to me, would she? Salazar, Pansy hates me so much, Draco. The entire house does now. Everyone does.”

Your voice broke down and you lowered your head when yet some other tears were making their way down your cheeks.

Until now, Draco had quietly sat on the windowsill, looking at you with narrowed eyes the entire time, his eyes not leaving your face for once. But now that you had fallen silent, he quickly stood up, and with one large step, he was standing in front of you, grabbing your hands to make you get up as well, before pulling you into a tight embrace. You buried your face in the crook of his neck as he wrapped his arms around you, holding you as close as humanly possible.

“I don’t hate you, (Y/n).”, he mumbled into your hair. His voice was low and you could feel the vibration of the words in his chest, making you shiver. “I don’t hate you and I never could. And if the others actually think like that, they´re all idiots. Merlin, forget it. They´re idiots anyway. You´ve done nothing wrong, love. Trust me, this isn’t on you.”

“But why does it feel like it is?”

“Because everyone has told you it is. And now you start to believe it yourself. But I´m here to tell you that you´re not.”

“How can you be so sure of that?”

“I know you, (Y/n). Salazar, you´re one of the best people I´ve ever met. All you did was ask for help.”

“Exactly, I showed weakness. In front of a mudblood.”

“Sometimes you can bend the rules a bit, love. You did it because you had to. There´s nothing wrong with that.”

You couldn’t help but let out a small chuckle and felt yourself relax into Draco´s arms a bit.

“Says you.”, you mumbled.

“Exactly. And if even I can say that, then it has to be true, doesn’t it?”

You were pretty sure that under every different circumstance and with every different person, Draco would have probably given them hell for even talking to someone like Granger at all, let alone working with her. But maybe this was the reason his words calmed you down even more. The Slytherin was willing to go against those values he believed in so strictly just to cheer you up. And it worked better than you would have guessed.

Draco and you stayed in the embrace for a couple more minutes, until even the last tears had dried up and most of the tension had left your body. And even though you now felt just exhausted and would have done anything for him to keep on holding you like this for just a bit longer, you pulled back slightly, until you were able to look Draco in the eyes again. When his eyes met yours, he smiled softly, holding a tenderness in his eyes you had never seen in him before.

“Thank you.”, you said. Your voice sounded slightly raspy.

The smile on Draco´s face only widened.

“There´s nothing to thank me for, love.”

“No, for real, Draco. I… I felt really shitty about all of this but now I feel… like maybe there is a way to work it all out.”

“And if there isn’t one, we´re going to make one.”

You looked at him hopefully.

“We?”

“Of course. We´re in this together, don’t you think?”

“Why?”

“Purely selfish reasons.”, Draco smirked. “I want to see that pretty smile of yours again as soon as possible.”

You couldn’t help your lips twitching up at his words, making Draco grin smugly.

“See, my life would be a lot worse without this.”

You nudged him.

“Oh, just shut up!”

“Why? It´s the truth.”

You let out a small giggle before you grew serious again. Because with all the affection Draco was showing you now, you were reminded of another certain detail, one you would rather forget but you knew that it was probably for the best if you would bring it up before anyone else would.

“Draco?”

“Yes, love?”

“You… you said you heard a few things about what happened back in the common room before you came looking for me.”

Draco nodded, now looking a bit grimmer again, as he remembered all the nasty things he had never imagined anyone could ever think - let alone speak out loud - about you.

“And did you… did they… I mean, have you also heard something about you. About us I mean. Not that there is much to say, but I just… I don’t know… Pansy said a few things earlier and I just want to make sure that this… I just don’t want you to get something wrong about it.”

Draco nodded again, his eyes never leaving yours, as he brushed some strands of hair out of your face, letting his fingertips ghosting over your cheek, making you shiver.

“We don’t have to talk about this now, (Y/n). There´s pretty much been going on tonight and if you´re not ready for this now…”

“No! No, it´s alright. Just… What did you hear?” Even though you were scared of what would happen next, even though you were scared that you might lose the last person who you were still meaning something to by this as well, you knew that none of these things would get any better if you waited any longer or would just ignore it. “If you want to tell me of course.”, you added quickly, as you noticed the indecisiveness in Draco´s eyes.

“Well, a few people came up to me and told me that… Apparently, you told Pansy that…” Draco shook his head and took a deep breath. “No, you know what, it doesn’t matter what she said. What any of them said. This… should be about us.”

You just nodded, your eyes flickering anywhere but meeting Draco´s, until suddenly you felt a hand under your chin, gently forcing you to look up at the blond boy again, who was looking at you intensively.

“(Y/n), do you have a thing for me?”

You gulped heavily at the straightforwardness of his question. There was not much to beat around the bush, so you just nodded. The nod looked a bit rigid, also given to the fact that his hand was still placed at your chin, but it was unmistakably a nod.

Your head was running wild, imagining all the things that could go wrong about this, from Draco feeling betrayed by you, to taking back everything he had said within the last minutes, but none of those things happened. Instead, a small grin appeared on the boy´s face again, spreading more and more with every second passing.

“Then you might want to know that I have a thing for you as well, love.”, he said in a husky voice, sounding as if the confession had almost knocked the air out of his lungs as much as it did to you.

You blinked at the boy in confusion, having to take a moment to let his words sink in.

“You… you also…”, you stammered when you had finally found your voice again.

Draco nodded.

“One could say I am stupidly in love with you, as some of these people have expressed so elegantly. So yes, I also.”

You looked at the Slytherin with widened eyes, feeling a warmth flushing through your entire body, you had never felt before.

“Are you going to let me kiss you now, or what?”, Draco chuckled, when he saw the still perplexed look on your face.

Still too stunned to speak, you just nodded.

And when Draco finally gently pressed his lips on yours, you couldn’t quite remember anymore why you had thought that this day would end so miserably in the first place. All that you could think of at this moment were Draco´s lips on yours and his hand wandering from your chin to your cheek, cupping it, before continuing its way to the back of your head to pull you even closer to him, while his other hand sneaked around your waist, striving the same. He never loosened his grip once, only trying to pull you even closer than before, his touch comforting you, reminding you that you were anything but alone in this world. Because Draco would stay with you, no matter which challenges you would have to meet in the future and with him by your side you were positive that you would master them effortlessly.

Only when your lips were swollen and your lungs burning, you finally pulled back slightly, still his arms stayed where they were, not wanting to lose the feeling of closeness completely.

“We should probably get back soon.”, Draco mumbled. His lips brushed against yours as they moved. “It´s already after curfew and you need to get some sleep. This was a long day.”

Unwillingly, you tensed under his touch as you shook your head.

“I can´t go back there. How am I supposed to sleep in a dorm with her after everything that happened? After everything she said?”

“Well, at least some of it turned out to have a positive outcome after all, didn’t it?”, Draco responded, pecking your lips, but he quickly grew more serious again when he saw you shooting him a deadly glare. He sighed. “Alright, love. Maybe I got a different idea.”

You raised an eyebrow, looking at him questioningly as Draco smirked at you.

“What if I told you,”, he said, as his thumb brushed over your lips tenderly, “that there is a place that will make all your dreams come true and I can promise that Pansy won´t be nowhere in sight?”

You gasped and slapped him against his chest lightly.

“Draco Malfoy, if you´re suggesting I´ll get back with you to your dorm, let me tell you that I certainly won´t…”

“Even though this idea sounds more than tempting”, Draco interrupted you, “that isn’t what I have in mind. I mean a room that will literally shape into everything that you are wishing for. And I´m sure, a cosy bed won´t be an exception. And tomorrow morning, I´ll get you your school supplies and after class, we´ll think about how we´re going to go on, alright?”

You looked at the boy in front of you with narrowed eyes, but at this point, you were actually too exhausted to argue and Draco´s idea actually sounded just way too good to question it. So you just nodded.

Draco grinned at you smugly, as he took a step back, letting go of you, before his hand found yours, intertwining your fingers.

“Follow me then, my love. I promise you won´t be disappointed.”

You returned his smile without hesitation.

“As if you ever could disappoint me.”

“Obviously. As long as we´re together, everything will turn out just fine.”

And when you followed Draco, you just somehow felt that he was right. One way or another, everything would work out. You were sure of that.  

The blond boy pouted as if he would actually think about his answer.

“I think you should wear the black one, Blaise.”, he finally answered. “It stresses your eyes.”

“You´re too kind, Draco. And such an amazing help.”

You shared an annoyed glare with Pansy, which made the boys give in and burst into laughter.

“But honestly”, Blaise stated when they had finally calmed down again, “I don’t get why you make such a fuss about it.”

“It´s just a party. The two of you should calm down a bit.”, Draco agreed with his friend.

You nudged him playfully.

“Says the boy who takes about an hour to style his hair every morning and still gets it ruined in the first ten minutes afterwards.”

Draco touched his hair, looking slightly offended as a rosy shimmer spread across his cheeks.

“A malicious allegation. It looks like that naturally."

You shared a knowing glance with Pansy, fully aware of the fact that what Draco had just stated was nothing but a lie.

“It´s nothing to be ashamed of, Draco.”, you chirped as you smiled at him sweetly.

“It´s actually very attractive if a guy cares about his appearance, you know?”, Pansy added, making Blaise almost choke on his pumpkin juice.

The four of you were sitting in the Great Hall at breakfast and the most important topic of the day was the upcoming party tonight. By now, you had finished all your exams for the year and Salazar, that was for sure a reason to celebrate. And at one of the biggest parties of the year, Pansy and you obviously wanted to dress up at least a bit, eager to escape the everyday look of your school uniforms. And to do so, you were even willing to take some rude comments from your friends.

“As if I would be in need of such things.”, Draco returned, shooting Pansy a deadly glare, while Blaise still tried to catch his breath.

“Because unlike some of us”, Blaise stated, when he had finally recovered, as his eyes darted from Pansy to you and back to Pansy, “we don’t have to put in any effort to look great.”

“While Pansy and I, unlike some of us, are aware of how we can maximize our God-given beauty. It wouldn´t hurt you to try this as well at some point.”

“So you can´t even argue with the fact that we´re just irresistibly attractive, can you?”, Blaise grinned.

“It makes me want to worship the ground you´re walking on.”, you said, your voice dripping with sarcasm.

But while you were making fun of it, even you couldn’t deny that Blaise, as well as Draco, actually had some kind of effortless beauty. They were attractive, you couldn’t deny it, however, you would rather bite off your tongue than ever actually admit it to the boys.

“That doesn´t mean you couldn´t optimize it though.”, Pansy stepped in. “Maybe some eyeliner for Blaise and I bet Draco´s eyes would pop out more if we would curl his lashes…”

“And maybe ruffle up his hair a bit…”, you added, laying your arm around Draco´s shoulder in a sneaky attempt to get your hand closer to the neatly styled hair, but Draco realized immediately what you were up to and caught your hand with his.

“Don’t you dare. Do you know how much time it takes me to get this done? Won´t let you ruin it just like that.”, he growled.

“So you admit it.”, you stated with a triumphant shimmer in your eyes.

Draco looked at you irritated.

“Admit what?”

“That you style it."

Your friend hesitated a moment, before he grumbled: “Never said I wouldn’t. I just pointed out that you have a tendency to exaggerate.”

You rolled your eyes.

“Sure you did.” You sighed and rested your head on your friend’s shoulder. “But jokes aside. You look… well, let’s say at least acceptable, styled hair or not.”

Draco let out a low chuckle as he wrapped an arm around your waist and pulled you even closer.

“Likewise, princess.”

And on the other side of the table, Pansy and Blaise couldn’t hide the smirk on their faces as they watched the scene in front of them, sharing a glance in silent agreement.

Later that day, Pansy and you made your way to the Slytherin common room. Pansy had indeed chosen the green dress, certainly enjoying the compliments you had showered her with as you had seen her all dressed up. You had dressed up yourself, not looking too bad as well and certainly more than just acceptable and -as Pansy noted- even Draco wouldn’t be able to help himself but admit that you did so.

And in fact, when you entered the common room, where Draco and some of your other friends were already waiting for you, the blond boy´s eyes widened slightly as he noticed you.

“So, what do you think? Is this acceptable?”, you smiled at Draco as you walked up to him.

Draco´s eyes wandered up and down your body, as he took his time to come to a conclusion. When his eyes met yours again, there was something in his gaze that you couldn’t quite grasp, something that made you blush for some stupid reason, but it was soon replaced by a cheeky grin.

“Finally, I don´t have to be ashamed to be seen with you for once.”, he responded.

When your attempt to slap his arm in response failed and Draco laughed at your pathetic try, you took some time to eye the boy as well. The Slytherin looked unfairly good in his black suit he always wore to such occasions. It somehow made the twinkle in his eyes only look brighter, especially now, that he tilted his head as he laughed. And also…

“Your hair!”, you stated in surprise as you noticed how some strands of Draco´s normally neatly styled hair framed his face.

The grin on the boy´s face only grew wider.

“Only did so for you, love.”, he teased.

“Oh yeah, for sure.”

“So what do you say? Do you like it?”

You eyed him sceptically. But no matter how hard you tried, you had to admit that there was absolutely nothing to criticize – neither about Draco´s hair nor about any other part of his appearance. For a second you got lost in the way he smiled down at you, way too smugly, yet in your eyes still looking just perfect.

“What? Got lost for words?”, Draco chuckled as he noticed your gaze.

You snapped out of your trance and quickly shook your head, not only as an answer to his question but also as an attempt to get rid of the strange feeling in your stomach as you looked at your friend.

“I told you it would suit you. Isn´t that surprising I was right once more, is it?”, you said with a shrug of your shoulders.

“You aren’t complacent at all, are you?”

“Says you”, you countered right away.

“Are the two of you done flirting now, or do you want us to excuse you for tonight?”, you were suddenly interrupted by Pansy´s mischievous voice.

You turned around, glaring at your roommate.

“You don’t actually expect me to answer this, do you?”

Pansy just shrugged her shoulders in response, pulling a face that made you suspect you rather didn’t want to know what she would say next. So you linked your arm with hers and pulled her towards the exit.

“What are we waiting for then?”, you asked.

The party was already in full swing when you arrived. It always amazed and irritated you at the very same time when you saw the students of the different houses in harmony with one another. Since none of you were wearing your school uniforms anymore, from time to time it was hard to even recognize which house the different people you barely knew were from. However, many of them -especially Slytherins- stuck to the colours of their houses, making it easier to at least suspect where they belonged, and somewhere on the other side of the room, you noticed Luna Lovegood, who had created some jewellery from eagle feathers. People were dancing, talking and laughing, on the dancefloor, at the improvised bar someone had built up or just lazily sitting in one of the seating areas.

The moment you stepped through the door, someone handed you a drink and you carefully sniffed on it. Just from the smell, you were pretty sure that whatever had been mixed into it, the night would be a very certain kind of fun.

Pansy had already raised her glass.

“To the end of torture and oppression!”, she cheered, before taking a way too big swing from her cup.

“To the end of torture and oppression.”, you agreed laughingly before you nipped on your cup as well, pulling a face. You certainly would need to take it easy if you didn’t want to wake up with some bad headache tomorrow.

When you had finished your drink, Pansy practically pulled you on the dancefloor, while Draco along with Blaise found some poor excuse to get over to the comfortable couches, meeting up with Crabbe and Goyle.

You didn’t even know how long you had been dancing, just enjoying the music and the company of your friends, when suddenly Pansy nudged you.

“Draco´s looking over!”, she yelled into your ear.

You turned your head, looking to the boys who still remained rooted in their spots in the seating area, and saw that Draco was indeed watching you. When he caught your gaze, you waved at him excitedly, which made your friend curve his lips into a small smile. But that smile quickly fainted as you tried to beckon him over, signalling him you wanted him to join you dancing. But while Draco was extraordinarily good in standard dances, he detested the stiff frippery without any clear rules with every fibre of his body. That´s why Draco just shook his head firmly at your efforts and quickly turned his head to his friends, engaging in the conversation again.

With a shrug of your shoulders, you turned around to Pansy again.

“If you don’t want it, you already have it.”, you said, slightly disappointed, yet not actually surprised at Draco´s rejection.

“I highly doubt it´s the dancing he´s interested in.”, Pansy mumbled under her breath and over the loud music, it was hard for you to understand.

“What was that?”

Pansy sighed.

“Nothing. Absolutely nothing.”

You threw your friend an irritated glance, but Pansy didn’t seem to want to deepen her explanation.

But while Pansy just went back to dancing, you felt your throat slowly getting dry from the yelling and the heated temperatures in the room.

“I´ll get myself a drink. You want something too?”

Pansy gave you a thumbs up and you made your way to the bar on the other side of the dancefloor.

You had just grabbed your drinks and wanted to make your way back through the crowd when suddenly someone touched your shoulder. You turned around and groaned quietly. Cormac McLaggen was standing there, grinning down at you. You detested this guy more than any other student in this school, not only because he was a Gryffindor, but mostly because he had a certain reputation regarding his handling of girls. You still remembered how -not long ago- he had tried to get close to Hermione Granger, and even though you didn’t exactly like the smart-alec Gryffindor girl, you had felt slightly sorry for her when you had watched the constant inappropriate attempts to get the girl. And the fact that he was standing now in front of you with that slimy grin on his face made you suspect that he was up to no good.

“Lovely (Y/n). I see you got me a drink as well.”, he grinned, stepping even closer to you.

You resisted the urge to step back and instead straightened your back, trying not to show how uncomfortable he was making you feel already.

“It´s for Pansy.”, you answered cooly.

“But I´m sure Parkinson can get herself a drink, can´t she?”

“So can you.”

“But then I wouldn’t have a reason to keep your company any longer.”

“That´s the plan.” You really weren’t in the mood to stay quiet or polite just out of respect for a guy’s feelings, especially if said guy happened to be McLaggen.

But he didn’t seem to mind the slightest.

“You´re really a tease, (Y/n), aren’t you?”, the Gryffindor chuckled, as he stepped even closer and put an arm around your waist.

“Let go of me. Right now.”, you hissed through gritted teeth, having to use all your willpower to not hex the boy on the spot.

“Why should I?”, McLaggen responded.

You looked at him in disbelief. Was he actually that stupid that he actually didn’t get how uncomfortable he made you feel? Or did he simply not care about it? And most importantly how would you get out of this situation most elegantly. You weren’t scared to make a scene in front of all these people, but you were pretty sure that McLaggen would hold it against you and even though you would be able to get rid of him like this for now, you weren’t sure how long it would last. So you took a deep breath, trying to get calm yourself down again.

“I need to get back to my friends."

“Why? You think they would grudge you some fun?”

“This isn’t fun for me, McLaggen.” You stressed his last name, trying to make clear that you didn’t feel like you were on a first name basis with him at all.

“C´mon (Y/n).” Well, that certainly didn’t work. “We´re just getting started. I promise you won´t regret this.”

But if he wouldn’t let go of you soon, he certainly would. But instead, he pulled you even closer.

“I´ll pass on this.”

You looked around, trying to find a familiar face to get you out of your misery, a place you could save yourself to, but the only people you spotted were Pansy and Draco who were standing next to the dancefloor, their eyes wandering through the room, probably already looking for you since you had already disappeared for much longer than you had originally planned.

“What is it (Y/n)”, McLaggen whispered into your ear, making goosebumps creeping over your skin in the most uncomfortable way. “Don´t got someone else to do the job, do you?”

Oh, if McLaggen only knew how much he had just scored his own goal.

“Oh well, you know, actually I do have someone to -as you just expressed so elegantly- do the job.”

You smiled at the boy sweetly, while the Gryffindor frowned.

“You do?”

“How come you don’t know yet? I thought most people did by now.”

You didn’t even have to hide the grin on your face as you saw McLaggen looking utterly confused.

“I didn’t.”

“Well, now you do.”

You quickly wriggled out of the boy´s grip and wanted to leave with a smug grin on your face, but McLaggen caught your wrist and held you back once more.

“Who is it then?”

You hesitated for a moment before you looked over to your friends still standing a bit off the beaten track and your gaze settled on a certain blond boy, who was talking to Pansy, for now completely unaware of his spontaneous promotion. You turned back to McLaggen and locked your eyes with his, not blinking once, as you said: “Draco of course.”

McLaggen looked at you in surprise.

“Draco? You mean Draco Malfoy?”

You rolled your eyes.

“Do you know any other?”

“But I always thought the two of you were just friends.”

“Ever heard something about the term friends to lovers? Honestly, McLaggen read a book someday.”

“But this is the real world, (Y/n).”, McLaggen frowned.

You had to try really hard to hold back a groan. That guy was harder to get rid of than the juice of a Mimbulus mimbletonia.

“But my fairytale has come to life. So if you´ll excuse me now, my boyfriend”, you stressed the word, “is probably already looking for me and I really want to get back to him.”

And without waiting for a response, you turned on your heel and made your way back to your friends.

When you had almost reached them, a smug grin still covering your face due to your recent award-winning performance, you turned your head around one last time, only to see McLaggen still watching you, lips pursed and arms crossed in front of his chest. Maybe you hadn’t been as convincing as you had hoped or maybe it was just his wounded pride, but if he would keep on watching you that closely, he would realize rather soon that what you had just told him had been nothing but a bluff. At that moment a second terrific idea followed the first one. And without thinking twice, you walked up to your friends with the sweetest smile on your face.

“Finally, (Y/n), what took you so long?”, Pansy asked you as you handed her the drinks.

“Sorry, I was delayed.”, you said, before you turned around to Draco.

“But you couldn’t stay away from me too long, could you?”, he teased with that familiar twinkle in his eyes, as he grinned down at you.

You returned his smile immediately.

“You have no idea.”, you responded before you grabbed him by his collar and pressed your lips on Draco´s without hesitation.

It was fireworks exploding.

You weren’t quite sure what you had been thinking when you had decided to kiss your friend, but it didn’t matter anymore.

You weren’t quite sure, how you had been expecting his lips to feel on yours, but you certainly hadn’t expected them to feel so soft against yours and fit just so perfectly.

You weren’t quite sure how you had expected to feel when you would kiss Draco, but it hadn’t been like this. You hadn’t expected the electricity buzzing through your body the moment his lips touched yours. You hadn’t expected the relief you felt as Draco didn’t push you away but pulled you only closer. You hadn’t expected to feel like air was only the second most important thing in your life as his lips slowly started to move against yours as well.

You heard Pansy gasping somewhere in the back of your mind, but it sounded muffled, just like any other noise around you. Every sensation that wasn’t linked to Draco and the moment you just shared felt just doll compared to the intense feelings rushing through your body. Every centimetre of your body was on fire and Draco´s heated skin against yours only fuelled the fire. The taste of the drink he had had still lingering on his lips felt intoxicating, just as the way your hands slowly wandered from Draco´s collar to his hair, while he pulled his arms around your waist, holding you so close, you felt as if your bodies might immerge with one another.

You didn’t know how long you stayed like this, holding each other tight, but finally, you ran out of air after all and slowly, you backed up again. As you opened your eyes, the sight in front of you was truly magical. Draco´s cheeks were rosy and his swollen lips slightly parted, as he panted heavily, his hair not only slightly ruffled anymore, but a total mess.

The Slytherin leant his forehead against yours and grinned down at you.

“Well, that was unexpected.”, he said, his voice sounding unusually raspy.

You didn’t answer and just nodded as you stared at him in awe.

You had never seen Draco as much more than a friend. You had always been really close and you had always been aware of the fact that he was quite attractive, but you had never seen him in the same way you did now. You had never felt the butterflies in your stomach somersaulting, had never had the urge to be as close to him as you did now, had never wanted to press your lips on his again so badly.

Draco brushed a strand of your hair that was falling into your face behind your ear, before his thumb traced over your cheek and finally your lips, which probably looked like a mess by now since you saw some light traces of your lipstick on Draco´s.

“So tell me, love, how did I deserve this special kind of attention from you tonight?”

For a second you were almost irritated. What did Draco think why one would kiss someone else? But then you remembered that your intentions for the kiss had originally been slightly different from the ones you had on your mind now.

When you didn’t answer and the boy in front of you saw the look of indecisiveness in your eyes, his face fell.

“Salazar, (Y/n), please don’t tell me you´re already so drunk that you just run around and kiss random people.”

The sharpness in his voice made you snap out of the trance you had been in ever since your lips had first touched his.

“What? No! No, I´m not drunk at all!”, you objected before you realized that this was probably just what a drunk person would say. So you took a deep breath and continued: “It´s just… McLaggen came up to me when I just got the drinks and was… well, he was McLaggen and he wouldn’t want to leave me alone, so I told him I had a boyfriend. And you were the first to come to my mind and I knew he probably didn’t believe me, so I thought if I´d kiss you he´d leave me alone.”

Only now that you said it out loud, you realized how stupid you must have sounded. Draco and you had never been anything but friends. What in Merlin´s name were you thinking to just walk up to a boy who had never shown any romantic interest in you and kissed him without even explaining the situation to him or asking him if he was okay with it?

“That´s what this was about?” Draco´s voice sounded even sharper than before, making you flinch.

“Look, Draco, I´m sorry. I know this probably wasn’t the smartest thing to do, but I… I don’t know, I wasn’t thinking, and I panicked and I somehow thought you´d be okay with this and…”

“You don’t have to explain yourself, (Y/n).”, Draco cut you off. “I get it. McLaggen is an idiot and I… I´m just glad you got yourself out of the situation, alright?” But Draco didn’t sound like he thought it was alright at all.

You nodded, eyeing him sceptically.

“So, you´re okay with this?”

Draco shrugged his shoulders. When he looked at you, the warm look in his clouded eyes had disappeared, and instead, his eyes were sparkling coldly at you now.

“Obviously. That´s what friends are there for, aren’t they?”

You gulped. For some reason, the word friends wasn’t quite fitting anymore for what you saw Draco as. You hadn’t believed that a stupid kiss could ever change your feelings the slightest, but somehow it did. Even though you weren’t quite sure if your feelings for Draco had actually changed within the last few minutes or if you had just become aware of something that had been buried under all those memories and experiences of the last few years, but what you knew for sure was that when Draco called whatever the two of you were friends, your heart clenched in a way you had never felt it before.

Still, you nodded.

“Yeah, you´re right. Friends. That's what they´re there for.”, you echoed weakly and forced a smile onto your lips.

For a moment, the two of you just stared at each other, before Draco finally nodded as well and took a step back.

“Well, since my job is done now, you don’t need me anymore, do you?” And without even waiting for an answer, he added: “I´ll get some fresh air now. It´s too crammed in here.”

With that, he turned on his heel, leaving you alone, staring at the spot he had stood only seconds ago.

“What in the name of Merlin was that all about?”, you suddenly heard a soft voice next to you.

When you looked up, you saw Pansy standing there, still holding the drinks you had handed her before your attack on the boy who called you his friend.

“I… this was… well, you heard what this was about.”, you responded defensively.

“Well, you can´t tell me that this was about you getting rid of that nasty Gryffindor.”

 “Would that be so hard to believe?”

“After I´ve seen the two of you almost eating each other up and looking at each other like some fools in love? Trust me, it is.”

“Neither we ate each other up, nor are we fools in love.”, you snapped back, probably a bit too harsh for just trying to set the record straight.

“Oh yeah, this was purely platonic.” Pansy rolled her eyes.

“It was supposed to look real.”, you contradicted.

“And Draco knew that too?”

No, he didn’t. He had had no idea why you had been kissing him, still, he had kissed you in a way you hadn’t even dared to dream of.

“It was just the heat of the moment. I surprised him. And he would have felt bad to turn me down.”

“Oh, yeah, you have already assumed this for him, didn’t you?”

You looked at your friend irritated. You weren’t in the mood for guesswork right now, too many thoughts were running in circles around your mind.

“I mean, you kiss that poor boy like no one has ever done before and the next moment you explain to him that it was just to get rid of some jerk?"

“I know I should have just asked him first to make sure he is okay with it, but…"

“You really think that this would make any difference?”, Pansy interrupted you.

You sighed fretfully.

“If you got anything to say, Pansy, just spit it out. I´m really not up to your games right now.”

Pansy let out a small huff, not sure if she was supposed to laugh or grab you by the shoulders until you would finally realize it yourself.

“You really can´t be that blind, can you?”

You only frowned and Pansy sighed.

“(Y/n), you are aware that this guy had been head over heels for you since forever, aren’t you?”

“Who?”

“Draco, you foolish lunkhead! Who do you think we´re talking about?”

You stared at your friend in disbelief.

“Pansy, this isn’t funny.”

“Oh, I know, it really isn’t. It almost hurts physically to see the two of you interact with each other and how you are completely clueless to everything he does, even if Draco is behaving like a complete idiot around you.”

“You´re serious about this, aren’t you?”

“Of course I am, silly. Salazar, the way the two of you act is really so much more than anyone could ever make up in their head.”

“So you really want to tell me that Draco has a thing for me.” “Being hopelessly in love with you is more fitting, but if you want to put it this way, yeah, that´s what I´m trying to tell you.”

You felt the butterflies erupting in your stomach once more as your cheeks heated up to an unknown extent.

“I… I didn’t know…I mean, if I… I really had no idea…”, you stuttered, not quite sure what to say.

“Don’t you say.”, Pansy responded sarcastically, but then she grew more serious again. “The real question now is how you feel about it.”

How did you feel about it? On the one hand, all you wanted to do was run to Draco and kiss him until you were out of breath again for the rest of your life, but on the other hand, this feeling was so new and strange to you that you weren’t quite sure how to deal with it.

“I don’t know. I mean, I never even thought about the possibility that Draco and I… that we might ever be anything more than friends. It´s all we ever were, and I never had any doubts that we always would be.”

“But what about now? How do you feel about him now?”

You hesitated for a moment before you responded carefully: “Different.”

“And is this a good thing or a bad one?”, Pansy asked, but from the look on your face she already knew the answer before the words even left your mouth.

An uncontrollable smile spread across your face as you thought about the feeling of Draco´s lips on yours and the way that he had looked at you right after they had parted again.

“It´s a good thing. Really good.”, you smiled.

“Then you should probably tell him, shouldn’t you?”, she asked, the smirk on her face clearly visible in her voice as well.

You nodded.

“I will.” You shot your friend a thankful glance. “Thanks, Pansy.”

And with that, you turned around, following Draco into the dark.

The castle grounds were quiet at this time of the night. A few people were standing here alone or in small groups to get some fresh air, but still, it was quiet and from time to time you had the feeling to be all alone out here.

You weren’t quite sure how you knew where to go, maybe it was because of the strong tie between Draco and you that you had misinterpreted so badly, or maybe it was something else, but somehow your feet carried you to the place Draco was standing without fail. You spotted him leaning against the wall of the castle right away, his light hair shimmering in the dim light shining through the windows, mixing with the one of the moon shining down on you. You were pretty sure Draco had heard you approaching him, or maybe he was too lost in his own thoughts to do so, but as you got closer to him, the boy kept on staring into the void, showing no signs of recognition.

“Draco?”, your voice was soft, so soft you weren’t even sure if he had even heard you because he still didn’t react.

You cleared your throat before you tried once more.

“Draco?” This time your voice sounded stronger.

Draco however, still didn’t look at you, but a small shrug of his head signalized you that he had heard you. You took this as a sign to step even closer. Your heart was beating fast in your chest. You were scared. Scared that you might have ruined whatever relationship you had with Draco beyond repair, and if it didn’t yet, that your next actions would do so after all.

“I was looking for you.”, you spoke up again, not quite sure how to start the conversation properly.

“You found me now, didn’t you?”, Draco responded, his voice sounded cold and his eyes were still fixed on an invisible point in front of him.

You took another step towards the boy and leant to the wall next to him, not close enough to touch you, yet close enough to feel his presence next to you. You felt him tense as you did so, yet, he didn’t shy away.

A few moments of silence passed, as neither of you said a word. You looked up into the sky, letting your eyes getting used to the darkness until they finally spotted some stars glistening above you.

“It´s a beautiful night, isn’t it?”, you tried again.

Draco just hummed in response.

After another few minutes of silence, you couldn’t bear it anymore and tore your gaze apart from the night sky and looked at the boy next to you instead.

“Listen, I´m really sorry about what happened earlier. This wasn’t okay.”

“I already told you, it´s alright.”

You shook your head vigorously, even though you weren’t sure if Draco could even see.

“No, it really isn’t. I behaved like a complete idiot in there. Not only that I… that I just kissed you, but also what I said to you afterwards. I really screwed this up.”

“It doesn’t matter, (Y/n)”, Draco said, his voice still apathetic. “You did what you thought was best at that moment. And, I mean, it didn’t mean anything anyway, did it?” The last few words sounded different, a mix of bitterness and the hope that you might contradict. Before your talk with Pansy, you probably wouldn’t even have noticed, but now you did. And it almost broke your heart.

“That´s not true.”, you contradicted in a low voice.

Draco´s gaze flickered in your direction for a second, before he looked away again. Yet, he didn’t answer.

“It meant something. I mean, I know it did for you and I…” You paused for a second, thinking about what you should say next. “It meant something to me too, you know? I didn’t know that it would but it did. Much more than I ever thought it would.”

“It didn’t. Neither for you nor for me. I think we both made that very clear.”, Draco spit out, his voice not nearly as calm as it used to be, even though he tried really hard to hide it.

“Did we?”

“We did. We´re friends. That is what you said and what I said as well. We´ve always been and we always will be. Ain´t that hard to understand, (Y/n), is it? Even you should understand that.”

“I know you have a thing for me.”, you blurted out. You didn’t mean to do so. You had wanted to approach the topic more carefully, trying not to hurt Draco´s feelings or embarrass him, but the way he behaved like a stubborn child, made it impossible for you.

Draco froze for a second, before he shrugged his shoulders, looking anywhere but at you.

“And if I did? Would it change anything?”

The fact that he didn’t contradict you right away, didn’t call your assumptions ridiculous or even laughed at you, made even the last doubts you still had had about Pansy´s words disappear. Your heartbeat quickened even more, even though you weren’t quite sure if it was from annoyance or affection.

“Would it… Draco, this would change everything!”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah. Draco this… what happened tonight… the kiss… this wasn’t just about McLaggen.”

“You said it was.”

“Because it was. I mean kind of. But not like this. I… Merlin, Draco. At first, I kissed you because of him. But all of this felt just so… When I kissed you it just felt so good, and then you kissed me back and I had the feeling as if all the stars would suddenly align. It felt as if it was the right thing to do and it made me wonder… no, it made me know for sure that this is what I want. That you are what I want. Not as a friend but as… more. And I know that I´m an idiot that it took me that stupid kiss to realize and if you are mad at me now, you got every reason to be, but if you let me ruin the possibility of… of us just because I screwed this up then you are just as much of an idiot as I am.”

You hadn’t even realized how much you had raised your voice until you fell silent again and you couldn’t hear any other noises but the muffled music coming from inside and your own heartbeat echoing in your ears.

A few moments passed and neither Draco nor you said anything. Your thoughts were racing and in your mind, you already prepared yourself to not only lose the potential relationship Draco and you could have, but also the one that you had had ever since you came to Hogwarts. But just as you wanted to apologize and leave Draco alone again, the boy suddenly let out a sigh and stood up straight again, turning around to you.

The expression on his face was unreadable as he said: “Love, you should know that I´m way too smart to be an idiot.”

It took you a moment to process his words, but as you did, a small spark of hope lit up in your chest again.

“Does that mean, that...”

“It means”, Draco interrupted you, “that I´m willing to give this a chance.” He smiled at you smugly as he saw the uncontrollable grin spreading across your face. “If that´s what you want to, of course.”, he added slyly.

“I think to know this for sure, I might need to try something again at first.”, you responded.

And this time you didn’t have to pull Draco down to you, but he leant down willingly, meeting your lips halfway.

And even though this time you were prepared for the feeling, it still almost swept you off your feet with full force and you had no doubt that your legs would probably have given in if it wouldn’t be for Draco holding on to you tightly.

When you pulled back this time, you felt neither conflicted nor confused. All you could feel was your love for the boy in front of you rushing through your entire body and the only critical thought that was left was the question of how you could have ever mistaken your feelings for the blond Slytherin for anything else but love.

You leant your head onto Draco´s chest, listening to his steady heartbeat that was far too fast, a fact that you would have probably teased him for if you wouldn’t have known that yours did just the same.

“You have no idea how long I wanted to do this.”, Draco mumbled, before placing a small kiss on the crown of your head.

And he was right indeed. You had been completely oblivious to his feelings for so long, but now that you finally knew, it was making you happier than you could ever find the words to describe.

“Merlin, I love you, (Y/n).”, Draco mumbled, making yet another wave of heat flush through your body. But before you could even answer, he quickly added: “You… you don’t have to return this or anything. I just… I wanted to tell you for so long and… well, now I just had to.” You smiled as you heard the insecurity in his voice, something he barely ever showed to others.

“It´s not like I… maybe just take me on a date first, okay? I just… I don’t wanna rush things right now if that´s okay with you.”

“Anything for you, princess.”, Draco smiled, making your heart practically melt, as you snuggled yourself even closer to him.

“But one thing you have to tell me.”, Draco spoke up after a few minutes of comfortable silence. “You didn’t just have a brainwave, did you? Someone told you that I… well that I might like you more than just a friend.”

You felt your cheeks heating.

“Maybe Pansy gave me a little hint.”, you mumbled into his chest, making Draco chuckle deeply.

“A little hint?”

“Well, maybe it was more than that.”, you admitted. “She pretty much threw it in my face and I still didn’t catch it.”

“I always knew that you´re not the fastest broom in the sky.”, he grinned, making you frown.

“At least it didn’t take me… how long? Weeks? Months? To get a girl and then not even telling her but letting others do the job.”

“Actually it´s been years, if you really want to know. But I guess now McLaggen was good for something at least once.”, Draco responded. “Doesn’t mean I won't hex him the next time I´ll see his stupid visage.”

“If you´re hoping for me to stop you, I certainly won´t.”

“I was rather hoping you´d help me with it."

“So we can serve detention together? Romantic.”, you laughed.

Draco cupped your face with his hands and made you look up at him. You could see the mischievous sparkle that you had always loved so much glistening in his eyes.

“That´s just how I am, love.”, he responded, before he pulled you in yet another kiss.

And it certainly wouldn’t be the last.

You let out an annoyed sigh, even though you had to try really hard for your lips to not curve upwards into a small smile.

“I probably could argue with that but I don’t think you´ll let me get away with it, will you?”

You glanced up from your book to the boy in front of you. Draco leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms in front of his chest. You felt your heart beating faster when you saw the grin on his face and the triumphant shimmer in his eyes. Merlin, you hated the effect that boy had on you.

“You simply know me too well, love.”, Draco said as the smile on his face only widened.

“I do, unfortunately.”, you grumbled, as you tried to fix your gaze on the book in front of you again.

It wouldn’t be long until your finals would come up, and unlike your boyfriend, you weren’t smart enough to get good grades without even having to work for them. But if studying itself wasn’t hard enough yet, how should one be able to concentrate when your beautiful boyfriend was sitting right in front of you, his eyes fixed on you, on his mind anything but the upcoming exams? And unfortunately, he knew exactly what kind of effect he had on you, and that if he just wanted to, he could get you to drop your quill right away and just leave that library with him, following him wherever he wanted to take you. But even though you both were aware of this fact, you still held at least some pride within you, determined to not make it too easy for the boy.

“C´mon love, we both know that you wouldn’t want to have it any other way. And neither would I by the way.”

You raised an eyebrow. Draco loved to tease you about how much you loved him on a regular basis and you were already used to it. You were aware of the fact that it fuelled his ego to not only know but have you confirm it out loud. What wasn’t as usual, however, was Draco admitting that he felt just the same about you. You knew very well that Draco adored you, and everyone around you knew it just as well, but still, Draco liked to play pretend, claiming he had a reputation to lose, acting as if it would be embarrassing if other people knew how much he cared about you. So having him admit that he wanted the relationship the two of you had established over the years just as much as you did made your heart melt immediately.

“That doesn’t change the fact that I still need to study.”, you responded, earning nothing but a low chuckle from Draco.

“So?”

“I can´t concentrate when you´re doing this.”

“Doing what?”

You rolled your eyes.

“We´re going in circles, Draco. Just let me finish that and after this, I´m all yours, alright?”

The corner of his mouth twitched upwards.

“I like how that sounds.”

“But I won´t finish if you keep on interrupting me. So if you just leave me alone, you´ll have my entire attention dedicated to you much faster.”

Draco frowned.

“Are you kicking me out?”

“And if I did so?”, you smirked playfully.

Draco sighed before he stood up and walked around the table, coming to a halt right in front of you. You turned around and smiled up to him cheekily, as he leaned down, placing his hands on the armrest of your chair, holding your captured in it. You felt your breath hitch in the best way possible, as he pressed a small kiss on your lips, before bringing his to your ear.

“I´ll pick you up at your dorm at ten. And trust me, love, you don´t want to send me away again then.”

Then he straightened up again, grinning as he saw the curiosity glimmering in your eyes.

“What are you up to?”

His smile only grew wider.

“You wanted me to not bother you any further, so I certainly won´t do so now.”

The blond boy turned around to leave.

“But then we´re gonna be out after curfew.”, you spoke up once more.

“I´m head boy, (Y/n). The rules made for ordinary students don’t apply to me.”

You snorted in disbelief as you watched him swagger out of the room without even shooting you another glance.

And when you looked back at the book in front of you, you know that even though Draco had left the room, he now only took more place in your thoughts. And there was a nagging voice in your head telling you that this had been exactly his plan.

The hand on the clock had just stopped at ten when you heard a soft knock at the door. You checked your reflection in the window one last time before you walked up to the door. With your hand on the doorknob, you took one last deep breath, before you opened the door. The sight in front of you almost took your breath away. Draco was always the most handsome man in your eyes, but right now, dressed in one of his black suits and with the charming smile on his lips he had perfected over the years, he just looked otherworldly. A small smile crept on your lips. Even after all this time, Draco still had this effect on you, was still able to make your heartbeat quicken as if it was for the very first time. And you were absolutely sure that this would never change.

Draco´s thoughts must have been quite similar to yours, as he stared at you, his eyes slightly widened as they travelled up and down your body, as he unconsciously licked his lips. You mentally thanked yourself for deciding to dress up a bit tonight, even though you hadn’t been sure what exactly Draco was up to. For a moment, the two of you just stared at each other.

Then, Draco broke free from his rigidity again. He bowed slightly in front of you, as he took your small hand in his bigger ones, placing a small kiss on the back of your hand. Even though his lips barely touched your skin, the touch made you shiver.

“You look absolutely beautiful tonight, love.”, Draco said, in a low, raspy voice, that only increased the shivers running down your spine.

You threw him your sweetest smile -in Draco´s eyes even more adorable with the blush that crept on your cheeks due to his words- and took another step towards the Slytherin, until his chest almost touched yours.

“A compliment I can only return.”, you responded.

If the dim light surrounding you would be only the slightest bit brighter, you would have probably noticed the rosy shimmer that crept on Draco´s face as he tried so hard not to show how much even those little words from you meant to him. But even though the boy tried to hide it, you still knew what was going on inside his head. The two of you were by now far beyond the point where you had to actually speak out what you were thinking, still, you knew how much Draco loved it if you did so anyway. You could see his gaze flickering over your entire face, trying to take in every little detail until they finally came to a halt at your lips. And when Draco unintentionally brought his face a bit closer to yours, you knew immediately what he was up to. And even though you wouldn’t have minded the boy you loved more than anyone else in this world to kiss you right here, your curiosity was simply stronger than already giving in to Draco´s intoxicating closeness.

So instead of uniting your lips with his, you only brought them a bit closer, until they almost touched, before you whispered: “So what are you up to tonight?”

Draco let out a small groan of disappointment, but as he saw the pleading look of excitement you gave him, he just couldn’t help but give in. He never could. Not when it came to you.

“Ready to follow me, darling?”, he asked, as if he didn’t already know the answer. In fact, both of you knew that you were already dying to.

You nodded in excitement.

“Ready.”, you confirmed and grabbed Draco´s hand, wanting to pull him away from the exit, but Draco held you back.

“Easy, love.”, he chuckled, as he saw your confused face.

From his pocket, he pulled out a small piece of fabric, before he stepped behind you, attempting to cover your eyes with it.

“Draco, what…”, you tried to protest, but your boyfriend cut you off.

“Don’t you trust me (Y/n)?”

You sighed but nodded in defeat.

“Even though sometimes I´m not quite sure if that´s a good idea.”, you mumbled, when suddenly, all that surrounded you was darkness.

But when Draco took your hand, leading you to wherever he had planned to, you followed him without doubting your decision once.

You let out a small squeak when Draco finally let you down. After you had stumbled on the stairs for the third time, almost pulling Draco with you, the boy had -without further ado- picked you up and had carried you up the rest of the stairs, mumbling something about how incredibly clumsy his girlfriend was. But after all, it wasn’t your fault that he had temporarily made you go blind, was it? You were on your way to your final destination for about ten minutes and by now, you were almost dying from curiosity.

“Can I finally take this off?”, you asked impatiently.

“Not yet, love.”

You heard a door open in front of you, as Draco carefully pulled you forward by your hand. As you stepped over the sill, you were met with a cool breeze, making you shiver slightly. Now, you had a faint suspicion where you were, but due to the long way, you couldn’t be quite sure yet, since you had lost your orientation a long time ago.

Finally, Draco stopped you and let go of your hand.

“Stay right there.”, he ordered, and you obeyed.

“Can I at least take that bandage off now?”

“Salazar (Y/n), can´t you wait for a bit longer?”

“Actually, I can´t.”

“Your loss then. If you want to ruin the surprise…”

Even though your eyes were, close, you rolled them.

“Alright but hurry up.”

You heard Draco scurry around the room for a bit before suddenly everything went quiet. Precarious, you turned your head from one side to the other.

“Draco?” Your voice shook slightly.

“I´m right here, love.”

And finally, you felt his presence right behind you. You melted into his warmth, as he brought his hands to the back of your head, his fingers fumbling around with the blindfold.

“Ready?”, Draco asked and since no one was able to see him at that moment -not even you-, he let his facade down for a second, pulling a face at how adorable you looked as you nodded your head eagerly in response.

You felt the fabric loosen around your eyes, falling off your face.

And when you opened your eyes, you felt like in the time you had been blind, you had accidentally stumbled into another dimension.

“Oh Draco.”, you breathed.

“Do you… You like it?” Draco´s voice sounded uncertain as he anxiously watched you look around with widened eyes.

Your senses hadn’t fooled you. Just like you had suspected, you were on the Astronomy Tower. But the tower looked so different from any other time you had ever been here. The platform was bathed in the flickering of dozens of candles at the walls, and everywhere stood vases, filled with your favourite flowers. As you turned your head, you could see that in one corner, there was a pile of pillows and covers, and right next to it a small tray with all your favourite snacks and a bottle of Meat.

“I know it´s probably a bit too much and it´s kitschy but I just thought…”

Draco couldn’t even finish his sentence as you turned around to him on your heel and crashed your lips on his. The boy was so surprised by your actions that it took him a moment to return your kiss, and as he finally did, you already pulled away again, leaving him disappointed once more. But when he saw the look of admiration in your eyes, everything else was forgotten again anyways.

“This is just perfect.”, you whispered against his lips.

“So… you do like it?”

“I love it.” You pressed a small peck on the corner of his lips. “And I love you too.”, you added, making the boy finally relax as well and return your smile. With a swish of his wand, the old record player in the corner of the room started to doodle quietly in the background, as you took a step away from Draco and started wandering around the platform, inspecting every single thing Draco had brought up here. Said boy, remained rooted in his spot and watched with a proud grin how you took in all the details with a look on your face kids would hold on Christmas Eve.

Finally, you came to a halt at the balustrade, leaning against it and watched Draco with narrowed eyes. The boy walked up to you with a sly grin on his face, as he leaned against the parapet right next to you, facing the calm and dark grounds of Hogwarts that spread beneath you. You did the same, but instead of watching the grounds that seemed to be asleep just like all the other students inside the castle, you looked at your boyfriend. You could have gotten lost in the way the candlelight was reflected by his platin blond hair and the way the night drew some dark shadows on his face, only stressing his delicate features even more. You noticed the small frown on his face as Draco got lost in his thoughts as his gaze wandered around, yet he was still aware of your presence next to him, and even if you wouldn’t be standing there, most of his thoughts would be about you anyway.

You shuffled a bit closer to your boyfriend until your arm on the balustrade slightly touched his. Draco didn’t look at you, but his lips curled into a smile as he felt your lingering touch.

“How did you do it?”, you finally broke the silence.

“What?”

“How did you organize all of this? Brought all this stuff up here?”

Draco glanced at you, looking slightly offended.

“Stuff? You´re calling these things stuff?”

You shot him a rueful look, trying to suppress a grin.

“All of these beautiful things my amazing boyfriend brought here just to delight his ungrateful girlfriend.”

“That´s how I like it.”, Draco grinned, before he answered your question: “I had some help and a whole afternoon with nothing to do.”

“Please don´t tell me you made the poor house elves carry everything up here.”

“Close but not quite.”, the Slytherin answered with a superior grin. “I made Crabbe and Goyle carry all this stuff” -he stressed the word- “up here.”

You let out a low laugh.

“I guess I can consider myself lucky that I´m your girlfriend then and not just one of your ordinary friends. You seem to treat them awful.”

Draco shrugged his shoulders.

“It´s not like they haven’t got anything for it. In the end, everyone benefitted from this.”

“Especially me. I feel like I might have to kick you out more often.”, you said with a small smile.

Draco eyed you from the side, before suddenly he pulled you in front of him, capturing you between the parapet and his body, his chest pressed against your back, his arms leaning on both sides of your body on the railing.

“Don´t you dare! You know I can´t stand it being without you. This was a one-time thing, (Y/n).”

You felt your heart widen at his confession. It really seemed like Draco had one of his soft days today if he was so open about his feelings to you. But in Draco´s eyes, every day was one of his soft days if he only spent it with you. You made your head fall back on his shoulder, as your eyes were fixed on the landscape in front of you. By now, the temperature had dropped a few degrees and the wind had gotten stronger. Dark clouds were clouding the sky, looming in front of the stars, making it even harder to locate anything going on on the ground. Soon, it would start to rain; you could feel it. And that´s when the first raindrops were hitting your forearms that were still resting on the railing. You shivered as you melted even more into Draco, who stood behind you, holding you close.

“I can´t be without you either, Draco. I don’t want to. Not ever again.”

The grip Draco had on you only tightened as he placed a small kiss on the crown of your head.

“You won´t have to, love. It´s always going to be you and me. Forever.”

You glanced up at the boy, who was looking down at you with a smile full of affection on his face.

“Forever?”

“Forever.”, Draco confirmed.

For a while, the two of you just stood by the parapet and watched the summery storm raging on the outside, while you were safe and sound in Draco´s arms. The music of the record player mixed with the pattering of the rain on the roof above you. You could have stood there like this forever, just enjoying the feeling of being so close to Draco, feeling so sheltered in his presence.

But suddenly, a sound made its way from your unconscious to your conscious mind again, a melody sounding so sweet, you would recognize it among thousands.

“Draco, this is our song.”, you exclaimed excitedly.

The boy paused for a moment before he nodded and took a step back. You turned around to the boy who was standing in front of you and extended his hand as he looked at you questioningly.

“May I have this dance?”, he asked and you nodded, with the widest grin on your face.

Draco led you to the middle of the platform before he repositioned the two of you and placed his hands on your hips as he slowly started to move to the rhythm of the music. You smiled up at him as Draco pulled you closer, so you could rest your hands on his chest, feeling his steady heartbeat. You glanced up at your boyfriend who looked down at you, holding more tenderness in his eyes than you had ever seen before. Hypnotised by the glistening reflection of the candlelight in his eyes, you returned his gaze, not able to look away for even a second.

“Do you still remember it?”, Draco asked in a low voice, halfway through the song.

You nodded. You vividly remembered just like it was yesterday, even though it felt like it had been ages ago.

“It was the night of the Yule Ball. You were my last-minute date.”

“Yeah, because that git Montague stood you up the day before the ball.”, Draco growled.

You let out a small chuckle.

“Yeah, because someone”, you glared at Draco, who didn’t look as guilty as he probably should, “hexed him that day, so he couldn’t go, just because that certain someone didn’t have the balls to ask me out in first place and then couldn’t deal with the fact that I would go with someone else.”

“Don’t act like you would have rather gone with Montague than with me.”, Draco said. Even though his tone was joking, you could see the jealousy sparkling behind his eyes.

“You know there´s no one I would rather have spent this night with.”, you quickly responded, before Draco could spiral up himself. And it seemed to work because Draco´s gaze softened again immediately.

“That´s just what I wanted to hear.”

For a few beats, you remained silent before Draco spoke up again. His voice was soft, almost fragile.

“This is the part where I told you, I had a thing for you.” He let out a small laugh. “Merlin, I was so nervous.”

You smiled as well.

“I know, first you stumbled over your words and I didn’t even understand what you wanted to tell me, and when you finally managed to voice an entire sentence, you stumbled over your feet instead.”

“Can you blame me?”, Draco asked, raising his eyebrows.

You shook your head.

“Not at all.”

The melody slowly got quieter, mixing with the sound of the rain more and more, until it was barely understandable anymore. Yet, you had by now internalized the melody, knowing every word of the song by heart. And that´s why you didn’t miss a beat, when you tiptoed slightly, bringing your lips close to Draco´s once more, as you whispered: “And this is where I finally had enough of your stuttering and kissed you.”

“Wanna relive those memories once more, love?”, Draco smiled in a husky voice.

You returned his smile without hesitation and nodded before you closed the gap between your lips.

For a moment, you really felt like you had travelled back in time, being fourteen again, and pressing your lips on the ones of the boy you had had a crush on ever since you could remember. Somehow, the very same feelings flooded your body again, yet this kiss felt so different from the one you had shared back then. Because while all those years ago, neither of you had known what exactly you had been doing, while it had been messy and had somehow felt strange and awkward, by now, you knew Draco so much better. By now, you knew the feeling of his lips on yours, the feeling of his hands all over you as he pulled you closer and you knew how you wrapped your arms around his neck, burying your hands in his soft hair, as you pulled him down to you. And even though you were by now familiar with all those feelings, you just couldn’t get enough of it and the way every new touch, every new kiss, every new whisper that promised a common future, sparked a firework in you that felt like the very first time all over again. You tasted Draco on your tongue as his lips moved against yours, felt the goosebumps spreading all over his neck at your touch, heard the small whimper he let out as you buried your hands in his hair, slightly tugging on it as you tried to pull him even closer.

And only when the two of you were completely out of breath, your lips disconnected again, as you stared up at Draco, who was panting heavily, just like you, his pupils dilated as he returned your hazy gaze. His hands wandered up your body, his fingertips gazing over your skin oh so slightly, up your neck, before Draco cupped your cheeks in his large hands, making your eyelids closing fluttery as his thumb brushed over your swollen lips.

“Merlin, how I love that sight.”, Draco said in a raspy voice.

You just smiled sheepishly, not even able to respond, as all you could think about was how close the Slytherin was to you, overlapping every logical thinking.

And Draco was feeling just the same, his entire thoughts were wrapped around you, as he pulled you into a tight embrace, burying his face in the crook of your neck, while your head rested against his chest. The fabric of his suit felt so soft against your skin and his -slightly too fast- heartbeat was an even more beautiful sound in your ears than the music still playing in the background or the pattering of the rain around you. You took a deep breath inhaling the intoxicating scent of Draco´s perfume mixed with the one of the summer storm raging. It made you feel dizzy and if Draco wouldn’t have held on to you so tight, you felt like your legs might have given in. But Draco held a tight grip around you, not even thinking of letting you go ever again for a second.

And when he loosened his grip again slightly, it was only to sway the two of you in the rhythm of the music again as Draco started to hum along to the melody. Under any other circumstances, you would have probably teased him for this, but now that he held you in his arms and you could feel the vibration of his humming in his chest, taking over not only his but your body as well, you couldn’t care less. All you cared about at that moment was that you felt so close to Draco, maybe closer than you had ever before. You felt your body merging into his, didn’t feel like two separated souls anymore, but as if you were one being. And when Draco looked down at you, he felt just the same.

Later that night, the two of you were cuddled up into the nest of blankets Draco had created earlier; each of you sipping on a glass of Mead. Your head was resting on Draco´s shoulder, while he had wrapped an arm around yours, with his thumb drawing some small circles on your arm.

You sighed comfortably as you shuffled even closer to the boy next to you.

“I wish we could stay like this forever, you know?”

Draco nodded.

“I know, love.” Then a sneaky grin appeared on his face. “You know, if we would blockade the doors and put one or two spells over the railing…”

You laughed and nudged the boy by your side.

“Oh yeah, I´m sure this would work out just great.”

“Obviously, I´m a genius.”

“Lucky for you I love you even though you… I mean I would also love you if you wouldn’t be one.”, you corrected yourself quickly.

Draco just chuckled and placed a kiss on your temple, before he stared up into the night sky that was by now clearing up again. The light of the first stars was already breaking through the cloud cover.

You glanced up at the boy and felt like you were beaming with happiness. How could you have ever gotten so lucky that you had ended right here right now in the arms of the person you wanted to spend the rest of your life with?

“Draco?”

The boy hummed in response.

“I love you.”

Draco tore his gaze apart from the sky and looked down at you. And if you had thought you were the luckiest person in the world, Draco would definitely be a worthy opponent as a candidate for this title as he saw you looking up to him with doe eyes and the sweetest smile on your face.

“I love you too, (Y/n).”, he said, before he bend down again, to connect your lips again, neither for the first nor for the last time tonight.

“Forever?”, you managed to ask in between two kisses, as Draco´s lips travelled down the soft skin of your neck, making you sigh.

“Forever.”, he confirmed, not even caring to tear his lips away from you for the split of a second.

And when you curled up in Draco´s arms, both of you knew that even forever wouldn’t be enough time to spend with one another. But Merlin, you swore that you would take advantage of every single second you would get. And for now, there were still plenty of them left.

But your state of concentration didn’t last long. Some loud voices abruptly got you out of your trance-like state. You blinked in irritation. You knew those voices.

“This is absolutely unacceptable! Intolerable!”

You knew immediately that this was the shrill voice of Madame Pince. Probably every student in here had been at some point the victim of her tirades, once she had caught a student doing anything that ­­­-in her eyes- just wasn’t done in a library. And the list of those things was sheer endless.

“I already told you, I have research to do.”

You knew that voice as well. But for now, you couldn’t identify it yet. You frowned as you put down your quill. You knew that you shouldn’t get distracted by that kind of nonsense that easily, but somehow, that conversation was just so much more interesting than the books piling up in front of you.

“About what?”

“I don’t think that´s any of your business.”

While you heard Madame Pince gasping for air, while she tried to process what the boy had just said to her in her sacred halls, something in your head clicked, increasing your curiosity. Because there was only one student you knew who would dare to talk to elders and betters like that. Silently, you got up from your chair and sneaked to the next shelf, glancing around the corner carefully.

Madame Pince had turned her back on you, so you couldn´t see her face, but what you could see was that her shoulders were shaking from anger. The blond boy who had caused her furious state was standing right in front of her, towering the elder woman for several centimetres. He had his arms crossed in front of his chest and the look on his face seemed rather unimpressed; almost bored.

“Get out!”, Madame Pince spat out.

“I don’t think you are in the position to tell me what to do.”

“I am not… This is the library, young man. My library. And as long as you are in here, I am the only one to tell you what and what not to do.”

“Oh yeah? Well, go ahead then. I am really curious what you want to do about it. Because I certainly won´t leave before my research is done.”

There was a dangerousness in the boy´s voice that send shivers down your spine. And not in the way his presence usually did. Something felt off about this. As if something bad was about to happen if the situation wouldn´t calm down any time soon. And you certainly didn’t want to find out what exactly this thing would be.

So you took a deep breath and -just as Madame Pince was about to answer- stepped out of the shadows of the shelves and walked up to the two squabblers with the sweetest smile on your face.

“Excuse me, Madame Pince. I didn’t mean to interrupt your discussion, but I think Draco is here for the same reason I am. You know, the essay for Professor Snape. We have to finish it until tomorrow and I…”

“Very well Mrs (Y/l/n), but I didn’t ask for your interference. I think Mr Malfoy can very well speak for himself as we all have just heard.”

You tried to widen your smile even more and looked at the librarian with doe eyes.

“I´m sorry Madame Pince. I just wanted to help out.”

The witch looked at you with narrowed eyes, her lips pursed. Then her gaze shifted to the Slytherin in front of her, who looked at the two of you with an indefinable look on his face.

“Is that the reason you wanted to get in here, Mr Malfoy?”, Madame Pince asked, her eyes piercing the blond boy.

He just nodded and mumbled something incomprehensible about Professor Snape and his research. The gaze of the librarian shifted between him and you, scanning you as if she could see all the way to the bottom of your soul. Even though you were aware of the fact that you had done nothing wrong, you still felt your hands getting sweaty and you gulped heavily as you tried to withstand her glare without lowering your head.

Finally, Madame Pince nodded slowly.

“Two more hours. Then I will lock this section up again. And Mr Malfoy” She glared at the Slytherin, who did a much better job in returning her gaze than you had done before. “The next time you will tell me about your projects yourself. Or I granted you access to this section for the longest time.”

Then the librarian turned on her heel, not without shooting you one last warning glance, and strutted down the aisle soundlessly, her eagle eyes probably already looking for her next victim.

When Madame Pince was finally out of sight, you turned around to the blond boy, who had remained rooted in his spot, glaring at you, offering him a small smile that you didn’t expect him to return, before you got back to your desk again, letting yourself fall onto your chair.

When not even two minutes later, you heard some footsteps behind you, you couldn’t help the small smile that crept on your face. Finally, the steps came to a halt right next to you. You didn’t even need to look up to know who was standing there. Even if you wouldn’t have saved him only minutes ago, you would have done so. By now, you recognized the sound of his steps as well as the smell of his cologne.

“Care to join me?”, you asked without tearing your gaze from the book in front of you, even though you hadn’t even read a single sentence of the pages.

A small huff escaped the boy´s lips before you felt his presence departing. Only when you heard the creaking of the chair on the opposite side of the table, you glanced up again, a small smile still playing around your lips. As your eyes met the grey ones of your counterpart, a few seconds passed, before finally one corner of the blond boy´s lips twitched upwards, not enough to actually return your smile, but enough that you knew very well he acknowledged it.

You shoved the book to the side, mirroring the behaviour of the boy in front of you, leaning back in your chair and crossing your arms in front of your chest.

“What? Got nothing to say?”, you asked.

Silence.

You sighed.

“Oh hey, (Y/n). Thanks for helping me out with Madame Pince. Because she probably would have kicked me out if it wasn’t for you, because I behaved like a complete idiot.”, you said in a sarcastic voice, as you rolled your eyes.

You could see the amusement glistening in the boy´s eyes as he raised an eyebrow.

“Why would I have to say something if you already think you know what´s going on (Y/l/n)?”, he smirked.

As soon as he had broken the silence between the two of you, you could feel the tension that had been hovering above you like a dark cloud ease and you felt yourself melting into your chair, while your counterpart did just the same.

The relationship Draco Malfoy and you had was strange. You wouldn’t say the two of you were friends -probably far from it-, still, in comparison to how Draco treated most of his other classmates, the two of you got along very well. You weren’t quite sure why, but ever since you had been paired up with one another in your very first year at Hogwarts, there was something like an unspoken tie between the two of you. You regularly paired up in your classes and often met up afterwards to study together. And even though you justified the time you spend with Draco with the fact that he was a brilliant student and every task you started with him was granted to be a success, deep down, you knew that it was more than that. Because in the Slytherin´s company, you found a strange kind of comfort that confused you yet made you long for more. And even though you had never talked about it -you barely talked about anything but your classes at all- you sometimes suspected that Draco might feel the same about you. Or at least that´s what you were hoping for. You didn’t know what it was but whenever you spend your afternoons in the library alongside Draco, while studying silently or getting all worked up in preparation for the next class, you experienced a sense of home, you had never felt when you were with someone else. He made you feel safe and his special kind of humour made you -if he wasn’t insulting everyone around him for once- laugh every single time.

“So am I right about it?”, you responded, mirroring the slightly haughty look on Draco´s face.

The boy sighed.

“If you weren’t – could I convince you otherwise?”

“I highly doubt that.”, you chuckled.

“That´s what I thought. But unfortunately, all your brilliance won´t help you the slightest if you won´t bring it to paper.”, Draco answered, as he glanced at the paper in front of you, fully aware that what you had written wouldn’t satisfy Professor Snape the slightest yet.

“I would have made much more progress by now if someone”, you glared at the Slytherin in front of you, “wouldn’t have felt the need to yell at the librarian.”

You noticed Draco´s grin falling from his face immediately as he ducked his gaze.

You frowned. This kind of behaviour wasn’t unusual for Draco in the last few weeks. Ever since the new school year had started, he was acting rather strange. He seemed to be absent-minded most of the time and was roaming around the castle with a look on his face that made you suspect that he was up to no good. Also, he was much more thin-skinned than ever. A year ago, you wouldn’t have suspected Draco talking to the staff at Hogwarts in the way he had just done to Madame Pince. He had always been rude towards people he considered below his dignity, but always clever enough to not provoke people who were higher up the food chain than he was. But since you had become a sixth grader, Draco didn’t seem to care as much about his reputation or the consequences of his behaviour anymore. You couldn’t exactly blame him though. You knew his father, who Draco had always seemed to be quite close to, had been sentenced to Azkaban, which obviously dragged on the boy´s nerves. However, you felt like there was more than met the eye to his behaviour, even though you couldn’t quite grasp it yet. And even though you couldn’t help but wonder about his strange behaviour, you had always told yourself that this was none of your business. But now that you saw Draco zoning out once more, his hands anxiously fiddling around with the tie around his neck, you couldn’t help but worry about the boy in front of you that somehow looked so different from the one who had taken his place in front of you only minutes ago, teasing you about your own behaviour.

“Are you… is everything okay?”, you asked carefully, scared that by asking this you might overstep the invisible boundary that the two of you had drawn in your relationship, that you had so often been tempted to overstep, but had never dared to, worried that this might shatter the fragile bond between you and the boy irreversibly.

But Draco didn’t even seem to hear you. He was still staring into the void, caught up in his own thoughts.

You hesitated for a moment before you called him out once more: “Draco? Did you hear me?”

As if he snapped out of a trance, Draco stared at you with widened eyes. For a moment, you thought you could see his gaze soften as he looked at you, seeing how you knit your brows in concern, trying to get at least the slightest idea of what was going on inside his head.

But the moment passed and the gentle confusion on his face gave place to the usual mask he was wearing when he didn’t want people to know what he was thinking.

“I think you´ll have enough problems on your own if you keep on chattering instead of finishing your paper (Y/l/n).”, Draco answered in his usual arrogant voice, even though he wasn’t able to withstand your gaze as long as usual.

“I didn´t… Just wanted to check on you.”, you mumbled, as you felt your cheeks heating up. What in Merlin´s name were you thinking?

“That´s not your job, you know? I mean, it´s not like we're best friends or something. Braiding each other’s hair and sharing all our secrets. We´re studying together because we know we can benefit from one another since apparently, we are the only ones with a decent amount of intelligence. That´s all there is, isn’t it?” If you wouldn’t have known Draco for such a long time, you would have thought that there was a pleading look in his eyes, silently begging you to contradict. To tell him that there was more to your relationship than the fact that your grades benefited from it.

But Draco Malfoy wasn’t one to beg for anything. Neither was he one who would tolerate it if one would disagree with him.

So you just nodded and pulled the book you had shoved to the side closer again.

“Then we should start working again now, shouldn’t we? I can give you the notes I made on the essay if you want me to.”, you said, forcing yourself to smile at the Slytherin as you tried to ignore the stinging in your heart you had felt at his words.

Draco blinked and looked at you in confusion.

“The essay?”

You frowned.

“The essay for Professor Snape. About the Crutiatus Curse? That´s why you wanted to get in here, didn’t you?”

Draco hesitated for a moment, his eyes flickering to the parts of the section that were lying in deep shadows, the parts, you didn’t dare to go and those Madame Pince had vigorously forbidden you to go to, before he looked back at you and gave you a short nod.

“Obviously it was. Wouldn’t have any other reason to get here, would I?”

You just nodded, before you shoved some of your notes over to Draco who gave you a thankful nod.

And for the rest of the evening, the two of you worked silently side by side, while you ignored Draco´s gaze lingering on you most of the time, just like he ignored the worried glances you threw him from time to time, as you wondered what was going on inside the blond boy´s head and why -if all you were were classmates- you still cared so much about it.

And over the next weeks, your worries only increased. Draco barely ever showed up to your study sessions and even in the lessons you shared with him, he was often missing. And if he joined you once, he would be absent-minded and make stupid mistakes, even though you knew he could do better. His grades obviously suffered under his strange behaviour but while the Draco you had known for several years, had always been anxious to be on top of the class, by now he didn’t seem to care at all. But not only his weird behaviour made you suspect that something was off more than ever. Draco also didn’t look as well as usual. It wasn’t like he wasn’t handsome and for some reason absolutely stupidly attractive anymore, but you could see the marks the changes in his life had left on him. His pale skin looked almost translucent, and his cheeks sunken. There were dark circles under his grey eyes, and while you had often secretly admired the silvery childish sparkle, he had held within them, by now they looked apathetically as they flickered through the room as if he was expecting a threat coming up to him any second, while his hands fiddled on the rings covering them the entire time.

By now, in the study sessions with Draco, he made you almost lose your mind. Because you were dying to know what was going on with the boy, but whenever you brought up the topic even the slightest, the Slytherin brushed you off in a rude way. Plus, while on the one hand you somehow still enjoyed spending time with Draco and were -regardless of his behaviour- under the impression that he might do so the same from time to time, on the other hand, you barely made any progress when you were working with Draco, and especially that shortly before the final exams, you couldn’t allow your grades to drop as well. But while most of the other people would by now probably have given Draco up, this only fuelled your determination to make not only yourself but also Draco pass the exams at the end of this school year. And from time to time, your volition seemed to pay off, because sometimes -even though it happened rarely- Draco seemed to be able to forget whatever was troubling him these days and was finally able to relax again, sometimes even breaking you a small smile that never failed to make your heartbeat quicken as you would return his smile without thinking about it twice. And whenever he did so you swore to yourself that, as soon as the exams would be over, you would dedicate your entire attention to helping Draco deal with whatever troubled him – whether he wanted you to or not.

You sighed in resignation as you looked at the pile of notes in front of you. The upcoming N.E.W.T exams stressed you out even more, now that they were just around the corner. Once more, it was Defence Against the Dark Arts, you struggled with the most. Not because you didn’t understand the tasks, but because whenever you thought you had finally understood the issue, ten other questions popped up in your head again, leaving you even more confused than you had been before. That wasn’t unusual to you, but in the other classes, your teachers were happy to answer every single one of your questions patiently until you were finally contented. Professor Snape however wasn’t exactly delighted whenever you would come up to him with yet another question and by now he had threatened you to dock some points from your house if you would ever do so again. And you had no doubt that the teacher would actually do so, so you tried to keep all your questions to yourself. But whenever you did so, your head felt as if it was going to explode any second, making you feel, like you didn’t even understand the essentials.

But suddenly, another idea came to your mind. Over the last few weeks, there had been another Professor who had, when he had noticed how much you were struggling in this class, sat down with you and patiently answered all the questions you had, no matter how long it took. And Professor Dumbledore certainly knew everything about the class he once used to teach himself, even though by now, this was decades ago. Plus, he always seemed to be delighted by your unquenchable thirst for knowledge, happily answering every single of your questions in as much detail as you wished for.

You had halfway gotten off your chair already when you stopped and took a look at your watch. It was already late at night, far after curfew. You knew that Professor Dumbledore wouldn’t hold it against you if you would be out of bed that late, fully understanding the pressure that was on you shortly before your exams. However, if one of the other teachers -or even worse Filch- would catch you, you would most likely get in trouble. But then again you knew that you wouldn’t be able to fall asleep before at least some of your questions would be answered and after all – if the headmaster wouldn’t mind it if you would pay him a visit, how could the other teachers do so?

So you grabbed a parchment and a quill and made your way out of the common room and to Dumbledore´s office.

When you had finally gotten to the office without any incidents, you came to a halt in front of the ugly gargoyle, that guarded the entrance. It had its eyes closed and seemed to be asleep already. Nervously, you shifted from one foot to the other before you cleared your throat. The gargoyle lazily opened its eyes and stared at you.

“I… I´m sorry to wake you up, but I would like to talk to Professor Dumbledore.”

A few seconds passed while the stone figure just eyed you. Then finally, it opened its mouth and spoke in a heavy voice: “The Headmaster isn´t here.”

You nodded.

“Okay and… Do you know where I can find him?”

Once more the gargoyle took its time to answer.

“Astronomy Tower.”, it said, before it closed its eyes again, and froze in its movement.

“Well, thanks then.”, you mumbled, before you turned around on your heel and walked towards the Astronomy Tower.

You weren’t quite sure what it was, but while you walked down the empty corridors of the castle, something felt different than usual. You felt shivers running down your spine as your steps echoed through the castle far too loud at the deathly silence that surrounded you.

But even though you felt as if your steps could be heard in the entire castle, no one showed up to see if everything was in order. It felt like no one was in the castle but you. Obviously, you knew that this wasn’t the case. Most people were simply asleep by now and Filch was probably somewhere on the other side of the castle. And even though you were aware of that fact, just as much as you were aware that the castle was just the same as hours ago when the sun hadn’t set already and there were still loads of students running around in the hallways, you felt like you had dived into a different dimension; one where it was important -maybe even lifesaving- to keep a close eye on your surroundings. And so you did as your steps got faster, aspiring to finally reach your destination.

When you had almost reached the Astronomy Tower, you suddenly heard a loud bang, followed by screams. You turned around quickly, turning your head to all sides. You could feel your heart pumping inside your chest quickly as you eavesdropped into the silence. You could still hear some voices, but they all sounded muffled. You took a deep breath and tried to calm down again. Probably some other students were still out of bed as well and had been caught by one of the Professors or someone had made fun of scaring their friends. But whatever it was, it still sounded far away.

You got a grip on yourself again as you accelerated your steps and hurried up the steps of the Astronomy Tower.

When you stopped in front of the wooden door that was the entrance to the platform you suspected the headmaster was on, you were panting. You took a few moments to catch your breath again, not willing to be a stuttering mess in front of the Professor. But when you finally raised your hand to knock on the door, you froze. For some reason, you had assumed that Professor Dumbledore would be up here on his own, but behind the door, you could hear some voices, even though you couldn’t understand what they were saying.

You hesitated. You didn’t know who the Professor was up here with, but given the time and place of the meeting, you assumed that they wanted to be undisturbed. And even though Dumbledore had already helped you out several times before, you highly doubted that he would be delighted if you would interrupt an important meeting with your stupid little questions. On the other hand, you also didn’t want to get back down there, since the strange feeling in your gut only grew stronger with every second and every fibre of your body was screaming at you not to leave yet. Following a strong intuition, you weren’t quite sure where you had gotten it from, you took a deep breath once more and knocked on the door.

When you pushed the door open, a greenish shimmer fell through the crack in the door. A shiver ran down your spine. You blamed the cold air of the night, tried to ignore the nagging feeling in your stomach, as you opened the door completely and took a step on the platform.

“Professor Dumbledore?” Your voice sounded a bit shaky. You straightened your back as you took another step forwards. “Professor? I´m sorry to interrupt. I know it´s already late but I have some questions regarding the…”

You stopped in the middle of the sentence. Because the person who was staring at you with widened eyes wasn’t Professor Dumbledore.

“Draco? What are you…”

Once more you interrupted yourself mid-sentence, as you finally took in the entire scene.

Draco had frozen in place as he had noticed you. His head had turned in your direction, his eyes were fixed on you. He seemed to have completely forgotten where he was or what he had been about to do before you had disturbed him. Because only moments before his attention seemed to be on someone else. Your eyes wandered down Draco´s extended arm, his hand that was clenched around his wand, as it shook vigorously. Your gaze followed the imaginary line you drew from Draco´s arm and finally settled on the second person that was on the platform.

The gargoyle had been right. Professor Dumbledore was up here indeed. He leaned against the barrier of the platform, his body slightly sunken down as his hands clenched around the parapet, trying to keep himself up, his eyes were halfway closed. But while this picture of your headmaster itself would have already been concerning enough in any other situation, right now, you barely even noticed it. Because as soon as you had taken in the entire situation, your eyes darted back at Draco´s wand that was aimed at the Professor´s chest.

“What in Salazar´s name are you doing here?” Draco´s voice sounded strange and hollow, almost like it wasn’t his, even though he tried to stride his usual arrogant tone. But you could hear his voice shaking just like the rest of his body did.

“I was… I just wanted to…”, you stuttered. “Forget this, what are you doing here?”

You stared at Draco who had by now lowered his wand by a few centimetres, even though it was still pointing at your headmaster.

For a moment, Draco looked as if he asked himself the very same question, but in the next, he straightened his back and looked at you coldly.

“That´s none of your business, (Y/l/n). Just leave and… forget what you´ve seen here.”

You looked at Draco in disbelief. Draco wasn’t stupid by all means, but even if he would have been he couldn’t actually think for the split of a second that you could ever forget the scene in front of you. Especially as long as you didn’t know yet what exactly was going on.

“You can´t seriously think that I would leave you like this, can you?” You stared at Draco, who had some difficulty to withstand your glare. “So tell me, what is this all about.”

When Draco didn’t answer, you turned around to the Professor, still leaning against the barrier.

“Professor?”, you asked, in a much more quiet voice now. “Professor, could you tell me… Would you mind explaining to me what is going on here?"

For a moment, you thought that Dumbledore hadn’t even heard you, but then, without even opening his eyes, he said: “Oh, young Mr Malfoy and I are just having a talk about his future prospects.”

Even though his voice was weak, and Dumbledore wasn’t looking fine at all, he still managed to strike his usual chatty tone. Draco turned his head, looking at the Professor flabbergasted, confirming your suspicion that this wasn’t the entire truth. But right now, you couldn’t quite tell if Professor Dumbledore was just joking, lying to you or in such a bad constitution, that he simply wasn’t able to think straight anymore.

“Professor… Are you… Are you alright?”, you asked carefully as you eyed the headmaster. “Should I get someone? Maybe Madame Pomfrey or…”

“I really appreciate your concern Mrs (Y/l/n), but I don’t think we should involve more people than necessary in this little encounter.”

“Are you telling me to leave or…”

“I fear that this isn’t advisable, is it?”, Professor Dumbledore said. Finally, he opened his eyes and looked at Draco whose gaze flickered between you and the Professor in short distances. “If I am informed correctly, some Death Eaters have gained excess to the castle ground and even though I am positive that the members of the Order of the Phoenix will be able to cope with this inconvenience, I don’t want one of my students to bump into them.”

The professor smiled at you as if he had just told you about the arrival of an unbeloved cousin at a family gathering. You looked at him with widened eyes.

“Death Eaters? But Professor you have to.. we have to… I mean, what happened? How did they get in here? Is there anything I can do to help?”

“A very interesting story indeed. But I´m afraid we won´t have enough time to discuss the details of it right now.”

“So what do you want me to do, Professor? Please tell me.” Your voice sounded pleadingly as you looked at the headmaster who looked so different from how you used to know him. Professor Dumbledore had always appeared strong and confident, solid as a rock, but right now he looked so fragile. For the very first time, you didn’t see the powerful wizard, but the old man Dumbledore was as well.

Suddenly, the muffled sounds that were nearly drowned by the howling of the wind on the platform got louder and louder. By now you could recognize the screams and sounds of explosions as the combat sounds they were. Professor Dumbledore closed his eyes again and sighed heavily.

“I don´t think I can take the responsibility of sending one of my students down there to fight. So even though the atmosphere up here is a little tense right now, I suggest that you stay until we…”

“She can´t stay!”, Draco interrupted the headmaster forcefully. “She has to leave. I still have to obey the wishes of the Dark Lord and…” His voice broke, but still, Draco raised his wand again, pointing directly at Dumbledore´s chest.

Your thoughts were racing. Logically, you had a slight suspicion of what was going on here, yet your heart was screaming at you that this just couldn’t be true.

“Do you really want to send your friend down there, Draco?”, Dumbledore asked, as if he was actually interested in the boy´s opinion on this debate.

“She isn’t my friend.”, Draco spit out.

Even though there were many many more important things right now, you could feel your heart stinging at his words. You knew you weren’t, yet, having him saying this still hurt you.

“My mistake.”, Dumbledore said, with a faint smile on his lips. “I always assumed the two of you would get along very well.”

That´s what you had assumed as well. But once more, you were proven wrong.

Draco didn’t answer, as his gaze flickered from the Professor to you. He hesitated for a moment before he shook his head slightly.

“She can´t stay.” He locked his eyes with yours. There was a determination in his eyes you had barely ever seen before. “You can´t stay.”

“Seems like a stalemate then, doesn’t it?”, you answered.

“No, you don’t understand…”

“Exactly. I don’t understand. So better tell me what´s going on. What is this all about?”

Your voice sounded desperate, but you didn’t care. Because that´s what you were. You were desperate to know what was going on here, desperate for Draco to assure you that what was happening here wasn’t what it looked like. To assure you that the hushed rumours you had overheard in the hallways of the castle but never paid close attention to weren’t true.

“(Y/n), listen.” Even if Draco wouldn’t have had your attention before, by now he would definitely have had it. Because for the very first time he called you by your first name. It was a small detail, foolish to even pay attention to, but you just couldn’t help but notice. “This is about so much more than you can imagine right now. You have to get away from here. It´s dangerous and I can´t…”

Suddenly, some heavy steps rumbled up the stairs. You didn’t even know what was happening as you were pushed aside by an invisible force, as Dumbledore´s wandless magic pushed you into a corner and hid you behind some supplies used for the Astronomy classes. And before you could even protest, the door crashed open and some dark figures stormed onto the platform.

You remained frozen in place, trying to process everything that had happened within the last minutes, as well as the things that were still going on right in front of you. Your head was spinning, but through the haze of your mind, you caught up on some fragments of the conversation, enough to slowly put the pieces together. And as you carefully glanced around the corner, your suspicion was confirmed.

The people who had gained access to the tower were wearing dark cloaks; Death Eaters as you concluded. One of them you even recognized from the wanted posters, warning vividly against the werewolf with a strong affinity for children. Chills ran down your spine as you saw Greyback blacking his foul teeth, even more, when he took a step closer to Draco. But even though the blond Slytherin looked at the werewolf anxiously and firmly denied having knowledge of the fact that he would get into the castle tonight as well, the scene in front of you made one thing very clear. The way the four figures were talking to Draco, the fact that they hadn’t killed him yet and the fact that Draco´s wand still pointed at Professor Dumbledore´s chest, confirmed your worst fear. He was one of them. Draco Malfoy was indeed a Death Eater – or at least a confidant of them. You had known something had been off with the boy within the last months and you had known about the stories other people had told you about him, yet you had never fully believed it. How could the boy, you had spent so many hours with, had managed so many challenges with -and most importantly the boy who had been able to make you forget the rest of the world and just feel safe in his presence-; how could that boy had actually turned to the dark side? You bit your tongue until you could taste the metallic flavour of your own blood, as your thoughts were racing.

But now wasn’t the time to get distracted by the aching in your heart, when you thought about all your hopes and dreams regarding Draco splattering right in front of you. You had to shove aside all the memories of what had happened in the past and thoughts about what could have happened in the future and get your head straight again. Because what mattered the most now was the fact, that Professor Dumbledore was in grave danger – regardless of whether Draco would actually be able to fulfil the wishes of You-know-who or not. You tried to take a deep breath to stop your heart from beating way too fast and to prevent your hands from shaking. Centimetre for centimetre, your hand wandered to the pocket you kept your wand in, mentally preparing yourself to grab it immediately if any of the Death Eaters would actually try to attack Dumbledore. Deep down you knew you wouldn’t stand a chance against all four -no, five- of them, and you also knew that Dumbledore wouldn’t want any of his students to put their own lives in danger to save him; but what kind of human would you be if you wouldn’t even try? And maybe -just maybe- the Professor and you would stand a chance against the others. Dumbledore was obviously weakened, but he was still one of the most powerful wizards in the world. Plus, you had a moment of surprise on your side. And also, against all the odds, you still silently hoped that Draco might help you, once he realized you stood a chance. Or that he at least wouldn’t fight you. You vividly remembered the shock on his face when he had realized what you had gotten yourself into. How worried he had been about you, not wanting to get you hurt. At that moment, you had been sure that he actually cared about you – maybe more than you had ever thought he would and so much more than he had ever admitted. And if he only cared about you the slightest, he wouldn’t fight against you, would he? But then again, could you actually compete with the longstanding influence Draco had been under for his entire life, forcing him into thinking that whatever these people were up to right now was the right thing? You would most likely find it out soon because the situation on the platform grew more and more intense. Your hand was only centimetres away from your wand, your fingertips almost touching it. You were ready to fight. Ready to defend the Professor and…

Suddenly another person entered the platform. As he stepped out of the shadows, you breathed out in relief. Even though Professor Snape for sure wasn’t one of your favourite professors, you knew that he was loyal to Dumbledore. Maybe everything would be fine after all.

But while you just were about to relax again slightly, everything happened all at once; way too fast for you to process, yet you felt like time went by in slow motion. One of the cloaked figures approached the Professor, telling him Draco apparently wasn’t capable of executing the sheer impossible. As your eyes shifted to said boy, you could see the forlorn look in his eyes, as he looked at his favourite Professor, as if he was hoping he would be able to take this burden off his shoulders. But if Draco was hoping that Professor Snape would be able to help him and the Death Eaters didn’t attack him but talked to him like an old friend, didn’t that mean that…

But at the very same time, someone else spoke up, his voice weak and pleading, a sound that made shivers run down your spine, as Dumbledore looked up to his confidant and whispered: “Severus.”

Professor Snape´s cold eyes landed on the headmaster still leaning against the parapet. And for the first time since you had known him, the emotions the potions master felt were clearly written on his face, which was distorted to a mask of hate and disgust, as he shoved Draco to the side, who stumbled backwards, finally dropping his wand. The Death Eaters stumbled back as well, all eyes fixed on the Professor, as he came to a halt in front of Professor Dumbledore.

“Severus…”, Dumbledore´s eyes flickered through the room for a moment, coming to a halt on everyone on the platform, then a bit longer at a blank spot near the door, before they landed back on the Professor. “Please.”

As Professor Snape raised his wand, his hand was calm, as well as his voice, when he voiced the words: “Avada Kedavra.”

A green light flashed through the room, the flash hitting Dumbledore right in his chest. You saw the headmaster´s expression changing to a look of something that -in any other situation- you would have described as curiosity or maybe even pleasant surprise. But you couldn’t be sure, because it only lasted for a second, before the force of the lightning that had strutted him, made the Professor stumble backwards, until his back hit the barrier, making him lose his balance and tip over backwards. And the last thing you could see was a sparkling of his crescent-shaped glasses before the void of the night swallowed the professor.

The scream of terror was barely muffled by your hands pressed in front of your mouth. The Death Eaters however didn’t hear it, since it got lost in the sound of their laughing and cheering. Draco however seemed to have heard it, because while he had watched the entire scene with widened eyes and frozen in place, he now turned around, his eyes landing on you, as you remained pressed to the wall behind you, hands still covering your face, your eyes probably just as widened in horror as Draco´s. Time slowed down as the two of you just stared at each other and you felt a strange calmness washing over you, given the fact that he would most likely kill you on the spot after what you had just witnessed or at least tell one of his new found friends to do so.

But nothing like that ever happened. Draco just kept on looking at you, as if he was just as hypnotized by you as you were by him. Only when Professor Snape turned around on his heel, walking up to Draco, grabbing him by his neck, trying to force him through the door, Draco swayed slightly but didn’t react any further. And when Snape´s gaze followed Draco´s and his cold gaze finally settled on you, you knew you were screwed.

Your professor stared at you, his gaze by now as unfazed again as it usually was. By no means anyone who would look at him now would have guessed that this man had just murdered someone not even a minute ago. And you would be his next victim. Because if Snape was capable of murdering the headmaster, who was -no, had been- not only one of the greatest wizards of all times but also one of the people who you had always thought was the closest to the Professor; what would he then do to one of his students he barely knew and probably didn’t even like that much? You let your arms sink down slowly, ready to grab your wand and fight. You most likely wouldn’t be able to fight your way out, probably wouldn’t even be able to take down just one of them, but you knew you owned it Professor Dumbledore to at least try and fight and maybe even scar his murderer for life.

So you continued staring at the Professor, ready to defend at least his first attack. But then, Professor Snape turned around to Draco and looked at him vividly.

“We have to leave.”

Draco didn’t answer.

“Do you hear me? We leave. Now!”

When the boy still didn’t react, Snape tried to shove him out of the room, but Draco shook his arm off, his gaze still fixed on you. Snape´s gaze flickered from the boy over to you, and back to him. Then, he leant down, whispering something into Draco´s ear, who just nodded, never taking his eyes off you.

Snape turned around to the Death Eaters, who were too occupied celebrating their victory to notice what was still going on on the platform.

“Let´s get out here.”, he said, making sure all of them obeyed and had left the platform before he went through the door as well, shooting Draco one last glance, before he went down the stairs.

You remained frozen in your spot; just as well as Draco. A few seconds passed before Draco finally opened his mouth.

But before the first word could even leave his lips, suddenly you heard a strange noise on the other side of the platform. You turned your head, your hand grabbing your wand, ready to defend yourself, as Draco did just the same. Perplexed you watched, how all of the sudden, Harry Potter appeared in the corner of the room, not even shooting Draco or you a single glance before he sprinted through the door. And as he flew down the stairs you could hear how his voice was filled with just as much anger as pain as he shouted: “Snape!”

For a moment your eyes remained glued to the empty door Harry had left behind, as he had taken the chase, but then you suddenly remembered that you weren’t on your own yet. You quickly turned around to Draco, who, as he heard the small noise of your shoes on the floor, turned around again as well, as he looked at you almost confused. The boy still looked terrified, but as he saw you standing there, your back still pressed against the wall, panting, eyes widened in terror and a tight grip around your wand, his gaze softened slightly.

“(Y/n), I…”, he spoke up, taking a step towards you, but you just pressed into the wall behind you further, raising your wand.

“Don’t come closer.”, you whispered as you eyed him distrustfully. Because even though there was a small voice in your heart that was telling you that Draco would never hurt you, the facts definitely told you differently. The fact that the boy who had been about to murder someone only minutes ago and apparently was working together with the worst wizard of all time was now looking at you almost caringly and his voice sounded as soft as you had never heard it before, made him not seem like a classmate or even friend who cared about you, but more like a psychotic maniac. And the fact that he still had his wand raised, didn’t make the entire situation better.

“(Y/n), please let me…”

“No!”, you cut him off again. “Don’t come closer to me or I swear to Merlin, I´ll kill you.”

Draco gulped heavily.

“You wouldn’t.”

“I would. Better you than me.”

But deep down you knew that Draco was right. You weren’t a murderer. You weren’t capable of taking a life, especially one that you had been stupid enough to care about so much and a part of you still did care about. But still, you wouldn’t be foolish enough to let down your guard, making it even easier for Draco to take you down.

“I won´t hurt you. I… I couldn’t.”, he added in a low voice.

You didn’t answer, your eyes flickering down to his hand still clenched around his wand. You almost laughed. It was just ironic that the boy who was pointing his wand at you after you had seen what he was capable of was now trying to calm you down. How were you supposed to believe him?

And Draco seemed to realize this as well, because as his gaze followed yours, he quickly lowered his wand, before he tucked it away tightly, in a way that would make it hard for him to reach it fast enough to attack your surprisingly, but which would it also make it harder for him to defend himself if you should decide to attack him.

“Please… I can explain this. It´s not…”

“Oh, don’t tell me it´s not what it looks like. And there´s no need to explain anything. I think I already understand very well.”

“No, I swear to Salazar, you don’t.”

“Oh, so you didn’t sneak up here to…”, Your voice threatened to break as the pictures of the last moments of your headmaster flashed in front of your inner eye. You closed them for a moment, trying to get rid of the memories before you continued: “To kill him for your boss? And you didn’t help your Death Eater friends to get in here and help you? You didn’t willingly take the risk of your schoolmates -your actual friends- getting hurt, just because you´re not a man enough to do something like that on your own?”

“I didn’t want anyone to get hurt.” Draco´s voice sounded weak.

You laughed bitterly.

“So you thought they´d just knock on the door nicely?”

“I didn’t have a choice.”

"You always have a choice. We all do. But you are just too selfish to understand what it means to care for other people and to take the risk to…”

“He would have killed my family!”, Draco interrupted you vigorously. For the first time when he looked at you, you didn’t only see sorrow in his eyes, but defiance. “He told me he would kill everyone I love, starting with my mother. And as soon as he would have taken it over, he would get my father out of Azkaban and kill him as well. And then he would come here and end it with all of my friends, so don’t you dare to tell me that I´m selfish.”

You looked at the boy, mouth slightly agape. And as you saw him standing there, panting heavily, with a wild look in his eyes, you couldn’t help but for some reason believe him.

“But why… why didn’t you just ask for help?”, you asked, by now not nearly as furious as you had been a minute ago.

Draco let out a bitter laugh.

“Who do you think I could have asked? The old man?” He nodded in the direction of the barrier where Dumbledore had stood just before the betrayal by one of his narrowest confidants. His face looked hard as he said those words, yet his voice shook slightly as he mentioned your headmaster. “He didn’t even understand that Professor Snape had fooled him for years. Do you really think he would have been able to protect me and everyone else?” Draco shook his head. “I had to rely on myself with this. I might have had a choice (Y/n), but the price was too high to pay. Don’t tell me you would have done it any other way.”

You remained silent, not able to disagree with Draco. The mere thought of someone threatening to kill your family and all your friends was enough to make chills run down your spine. If the threat would be credible enough -and you had no doubt that You-know-who was an expert in this- you probably would have acted in the same way as Draco had done. To judge him for his actions wasn’t on you for sure. Also, in the end, Draco hadn’t been capable of fulfilling the wishes of his master and actually murder the professor. And probably not only because Snape pre-empted him. Draco had had plenty of time to kill the headmaster on his own, but he hadn’t done so. Even when the Death Eaters had come up here, he still hadn’t taken the wheel and had even lowered his wand – or at least that´s what you thought you had seen.

You took a deep breath and looked at Draco. By now he had buried his hands deep in his pockets and looked at you in a challenging way, yet he looked as if he was afraid of your next actions. Because in the end, now everything was on you. In the end, he was up to your mercy. If he actually wouldn’t hurt you, it would be on you to decide what you would tell the people down in the castle, who would most likely show up here any second, at least those of them who didn’t took the chase with the Death Eaters, or if you might forget some certain details that might bring Draco into a position that would be rather difficult to explain.

But to make a final decision, you needed to know one last thing. You took a step closer to Draco, who had by now lowered his gaze but glanced up at you shyly as he heard your steps.

“Would you… Could you have done it? Could you have killed him?”, you asked in a low voice.

Draco hesitated for a moment, before he shrugged his shoulders, avoiding your gaze. But this wasn’t an answer that would satisfy you and the Slytherin seemed to realize it too, because a few more moments passed before he sighed. When he spoke up again, his voice sounded more vulnerable than you had ever heard it.

“I am not a murderer.” He shook his head slightly yet determined. “I am not.”

And even though he hadn’t answered your question directly, it still was everything you needed to know.

You nodded and relaxed your tensed shoulders slightly.

“Then we should probably get down there and tell everyone what happened.”

Draco gulped heavily, but he didn’t contradict.

“We will tell them how some Death Eaters found their way into the castle and how they outnumbered Professor Dumbledore and how Professor Snape... How Professor Snape betrayed him and… and murdered him. And how they left together and how all we could do was watch.”

Draco´s gaze shot up and he looked at you with widened eyes.

“But that´s… (Y/n), that´s not what happened. You know that just as well as me.”

As you looked at the boy in front of you, all the memories of the last six years flashed through your mind. Every single one of Draco´s cruel jokes and actions, all his beliefs that he had never been afraid to voice and act on. All of this just as well as the moments when Draco hadn’t been this product of his environment but you had seen his true self shimmering through. All of the things you had been through, all of the hard work that still had felt so effortless when you had done it with him. All the afternoons you had spent in the library, all the glances and rare smiles you had shared over the years that had told you so much more about the boy in front of you than any words ever could. A small, sad smile crept on your lips as you returned his gaze.

“I mean, I don’t know about you, but I obviously don’t know any details about what happened, since I hadn’t been involved in all of this. Were you?”

The hint of a hopeful smile showed on Draco´s face, but it dropped again as soon as it had appeared.

“But Potter knows the… he knows more than you.”

You bit your lip and nodded. You didn’t know where Harry was and you sincerely hoped that he would be just fine, but the fact that he knew certain details about what had happened might become a problem. A problem for Draco. But also for you. Because for some reason, you didn’t want anyone to ever know the truth. Or at least for now. Because you didn’t want Draco to get expelled, or worse, sent to Azkaban for what he had done -or more precisely had needed to do. And not only because there was a part of you that was screaming at you to not let him go. Because you for some reason felt safe with him. Because for some reason you knew that you needed him here and because you were scared of what would happen to him if he would leave. However, you also knew that this wasn’t what Professor Dumbledore would have wanted for him. The headmaster had always loved his students dearly and had always been ready to protect them. And if you had understood it correctly, he had been willing to help Draco out of his misery until the very last second. You knew that Dumbledore wouldn’t have wanted Draco to face a dark fade and that he had still believed in him. And if no one else was there to carry on this belief anymore, then you would be more than willing to be that person. Maybe this was just a way to justify your actions, but deep down you had a sincere feeling that Professor Dumbledore would have actually wanted this.

“I mean… Harry was in shock. After everything he has seen… And he already distrusted you, so it would have been easy for him to misinterpret this situation….”

But before you could continue, Draco cut you off harshly.

“No, (Y/n). I won´t let you do this. I mean, if we stick to the original story, you can say that I talked you into believing this version of truth. That I made you trust me. You don’t have to actually lie for this. But if you do it that way… That´s wrong. And I won´t let you do this and maybe even ruin your life just for me.”

“But I would do it. It´s a plan, Draco.”

You looked at the boy pleadingly, as he took a step closer until he was standing right in front of you and smiled down at you sadly, the unknown softness in his eyes almost making your heart melt.

“It might be a plan, but it´s a stupid one, love.”

“Well, you can´t tell me what to say.”, you said illiberally.

“And you can´t tell me either. So if you really want to go down this path, I will tell them the truth. And not your interpretation, but everything.”, he said in a voice, that was way too calm for the fact that he had just threatened to confess attempted murder.

“That would be stupid.”

Draco shrugged his shoulders.

“It might be. But I think it´s worth it if that means you won´t do something just as stupid.”

You looked at him with narrowed eyes and tilted your head slightly.

“Why do you even care?”, you whispered, as you eyed the boy closely.

Draco hesitated for a moment, looked as if he wanted to say something, as his gaze grew even softer for a second, giving away so much more than you could understand at this moment, before he suddenly pulled back, his face hardening again.

“I don’t think we have time for this now. I need to leave before they get me.”

For a moment you felt slightly disappointed at the loss of his closeness, yet you knew that this wasn’t the right moment for those thoughts for many reasons.

“But where do you even want to go?”

Draco shifted from one foot to the other.

“Professor Snape told me about a place. I just need to apparate there.”

“You can´t apparate on school´s ground.”, you contradicted.

“The entire school is flapping right now. I can easily sneak out.”

“That´s the point. Everyone is on their feet. If someone sees you…”

“They don’t know what happened yet.”

“You can´t know that´s.”

“I´m afraid that this is a risk I have to take.”

“Let me join you.”

Draco looked at you as if you had completely lost your mind. Then he shook his head firmly.

“There´s no way. This is way too dangerous. You should just get back to your dorm and…”

“I won´t go there now for sure. I´ll join you, Draco. I won´t leave you alone now.”

Silence.

“Just to the border. I won´t even leave the ground.”

You crossed your arms in front of your chest and withstood Draco´s glance until the boy sighed in defeat.

“You won´t leave the ground. Not even one step. And if something happens, you get back right away. Promised?”

You nodded, even though you knew just as well as Draco, if it would all come down, you would break your promise anyway.

You tiptoed down the stairs of the Astronomy Tower. The silence that surrounded you was almost ghostly. As you wandered down the empty corridors, some broken glass that used to cover the windows to your sides crunched under your feed. Neither Draco nor you said a word, each of you lost in your own thoughts. You were still wondering if what you were just doing was the right thing. Because after all, Draco apparently had been the one to make all of this possible. But after everything he had told you; could you really blame him for what he had done? But then again; how could you be so sure that he had told you the truth? That he wasn’t just using you to get out of the castle safely? You already knew the answer, or at least your very subjective answer to this question. Draco had tried to protect you. He hadn’t given you away when the Death Eaters had come to the tower and he had stayed with you, rather than leaving with them, even though he couldn’t be sure that that wouldn’t be his end. And as you glanced at the boy beside you, lips pursed and hands still shaking slightly, while his eyes wandered around restlessly, you somehow knew that your choice was the right one. Suddenly, you heard a loud banging, not far from you. You flinched, immediately raising the hand that was clutched around your wand, while the other one intuitively reached for Draco´s. You were turning your head to both sides, eyes opened wide, searching for any potential threat, but no one was in sight, neither friend, nor foe. You soon started to relax slightly, as you looked at Draco, who returned your gaze, with the slightest grin on his face. Only then you realized that you were still holding on to him. As soon as the realization hit you, you wanted to let go, but Draco prevented you from doing so, by catching your hand again, intertwining his fingers with yours, while the grin on his face only widened. You couldn’t help the blush creeping on your cheeks as he looked at you. For the first time this night, you could see a small fraction of the sparkle in his eyes again, that you always used to adore so much. You knew for sure that your timing couldn’t be worse, yet you could feel the butterflies erupting in your stomach as his thump tenderly brushed over the back of your hand while his eyes never left yours. It felt like years, yet only seconds had passed until Draco finally broke the eye contact and cleared his throat.

“We should really leave now. It isn’t safe here.”

And even though you knew that he was right, you couldn’t help but feel slightly disappointed as Draco continued his way, yet you noticed that his hand still held on tightly to yours, making you feel like you would follow him to the end of the world if he would only continue doing so.

By now, you had almost reached the courtyard. Soon, Draco and you would have to say goodbye, and you feared this moment more than anything.

But just as you turned around the next corner, you suddenly felt a flash of warm light buzzing past you, only centimetres away from your ear and exploding in the wall behind you. And if it wouldn’t have been for Draco pulling you back, it would have hit you directly.

You stumbled against Draco´s chest, not even realizing what was happening, as Draco shoved you behind him, raising his wand, ready to defend you.

“Tonks, no! These are students!”, you suddenly heard a familiar voice. And Draco seemed to recognize it as well because he stopped his movements and carefully glanced around the corner.

And as you tiptoed to catch a glimpse over Draco´s shoulder, you sighed in relief. You pulled Draco, who remained frozen in place, around the corner and walked up to the people standing in the middle of the corridor.

“Professor Lupin!”, you called out, a small smile creeping on your face as you saw your favourite Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher standing there with a just as relieved smile on his face. He looked haggard and had a few scratches on his face, but apart from that, he seemed to be uninjured.

“Miss (Y/l/n), Mr Malfoy, are you alright?”, he asked, scanning the two of you with narrowed eyes for any injuries.

“We´re just fine.”, you nodded and forced yourself to smile once more, while Draco stood right next to you, holding onto your hand tightly, not daring to say a word.

“Sorry for that.”, the woman who had thrown the curse at you said with a wry smile. “Thought you were one of them.”

“Apparently Death Eaters have attacked the school.”, Lupin explained to you. The grin on his face was wiped away quickly at his words. “We don’t know how they came in here or what they want but by now they seem to be gone.”

You nodded.

“We saw them.”

“Have they seen you? Did you fight? Do you know if any of them are still in here? Is anyone hurt?”

You bit your lip and glanced at Draco, whose gaze was fixed on the ground.

“I think they are all gone, but Professor…” You took a deep breath. “There is something I have to tell you. Professor Dumbledore… I don’t know how… He is… Professor Dumbledore is…”

Suddenly you heard some loud voices.

“Remus! Tonks! Over here! Quick!”

The Professor turned around immediately. Then he looked at you once more with a grave expression on his face.

“Listen, I want the two of you to get to the Hospital Wing. We´ll meet there and you´ll tell me everything, alright?”

You were barely able to nod before Lupin and Tonks rushed in the opposite direction.

After they turned around the next corner, you turned around to Draco, who still didn’t move. His eyes looked suspiciously glossy and he didn’t dare to look up at you. You tucked his hand carefully.

“Let´s get you out of here.”, you said in a soft voice, as you waited for him to react. And soon, Draco obeyed, and you continued your way out of the castle.

Without any further interruptions and much too fast for your taste, you finally reached the border of the castle´s ground. In the dim light coming from the castle, you could barely see anything, but maybe it was better this way because if you would have seen the look on Draco´s face in any more detail than you did now, it would have probably broken your heart than it already did and you wouldn’t have been able to let him go after all.

For a few moments, you just stood next to each other, staring at the line, where the grass of the meadows morphed into the woods of the forbidden forest; the one place no student was allowed to go. But tonight, you would have overstepped any boundary if this would mean that you could just stay with Draco, making sure he would be okay. But you knew he wouldn’t let you, and somewhere deep down you also knew that this was for the best, even though you didn’t want to admit it.

Finally, Draco slowly loosened the grip he still had on you, until your arm was falling to your side again, feeling cold and useless without his touch.

“So, that´s it?”, you whispered into the silence, not daring to look at Draco yet.

The boy nodded, even though you couldn’t see.

“That´s it.”, he confirmed, trying to hide the shaking threatening to take over in his voice.

As you turned around to look at him and saw his silhouette tensing as his shoulders trembled, you felt your eyes starting to sting as you shook your head in denial. You knew that this was probably the only way, yet now, that it was actually about time for Draco to leave, you just felt like your heart couldn’t take it. How could you let him go if you didn’t know what was going to happen? Maybe if he would stay, if he would explain everything – maybe then there would be a happy end after all. But if he would leave now, there was no turning back, and you didn’t even dare to think about what might happen to him under the command of You-know-who.

“This can´t be it.”, you said. Your voice sounded desperate, as the tears forming in your eyes threatened to fall. “This can´t be the end.”

“This isn’t the end (Y/n). It´s just… it´s going to be different now.”

“I don’t want to lose you.”, you sniffed.

Draco stepped closer to you and cupped your face in his hands. By now he was close enough that you could see almost each of his details clearly, even in the dim light and through the daze of the tears.

“You won´t, love. I promise. I´m yours and I will find a way to get back to you. Whatever it takes.”

Even though you could feel your heart breaking, at the very same moment, you could also feel it beating faster.

“You´re mine?”, you asked with a small smirk.

Draco forced himself to return your wry smile.

“I´m all yours. I´ve always been. I´ve just been too much of an idiot to admit.” He let out a low chuckle before he grew serious again. “But as soon as I´ll get back to you, I´ll be whatever you want me to be.” He hesitated for a moment before he added: “If you want me at all.”

You tilted your head slightly, giving in to the feeling of his hand that was still cupping your cheek. Your eyes closed fluttery at the feeling of his warm skin against yours, but you opened them again and locked your eyes with his, not blinking once, as you returned: “I do.”

You could see a small smile playing around Draco´s lips at your words, and it only grew wider as you added: “And the only thing I want you to be is yourself. I always did and I always will.”

“Even after everything that happened tonight?” His voice sounded raspy, full of regret as he thought about how close he had been to losing it all tonight.

“Do you really think I got you out of there just so you can live your happily ever after without me?”, you tried to tease him, but even though Draco´s lips twitched upwards for a second, he remained serious.

“Couldn’t have it without you anyway, love.”

You smiled at him sweetly.

“That´s just what I wanted to hear.”

Then finally, Draco returned your smile, somewhat wholehearted, for a moment forgetting all of the trouble that lay behind him and ahead. And when his gaze flickered from your eyes to your lips for a second, you gave the boy a small nod, before he leaned closer, until he finally closed the gap between the two of you.

The feeling of Draco´s lips on yours let you forget everything else, as they slowly started moving against yours. His hands wandered from your cheeks to your hips, pulling you closer, while yours wandered up his chest and sneaked around his neck, with the very same intention. At this very moment, everything felt like it was just like it was supposed to be - as if nothing else mattered. You knew that whatever would happen next -whatever challenge you would have to face- as long as you knew that Draco was with you and you were with him, everything would just work out somehow.

After what felt like an eternity, you finally pulled back, panting heavily, but smiling brightly, nevertheless. Draco wrapped his arms around you, pulling you impossibly close, as he buried his face in the crook of your neck. You let out a comfortable sigh as you nuzzled your face into his chest, inhaling his intoxicating scent.

“I promise I won´t leave you, (Y/n). Even when I´m away, I´ll always be with you.”, he mumbled, his breath tickling your neck.

You nodded and hummed in response.

“I know.”

When you loosened your grip and took a step back, you saw Draco smiling down at you with so much admiration that you thought your heart might explode any second. But as you turned your head and looked at the castle, you saw some small lights somewhere in the distance, slowly coming closer.

“I think you should leave now.”, you said, smiling at Draco sadly.

The boy followed your gaze and nodded. He pressed a small kiss on your lips before he looked at you.

“Just promise me, you won´t forget me when I´m gone, will you?”

You nodded and smirked.

“How could I? You´ll leave all the homework Flitwick has given to us to me. I won´t forget that very soon.”

Draco chuckled.

“I hope you got some more pleasant memories with me now than doing homework.”

“I think I´ll be able to think of something.”, you smiled.

Draco nodded and returned your smile, before he took your hand into his larger ones, placing a ghostly kiss on your knuckles, making you shiver.

“Goodbye, my love.”, he said, before letting go of your hand and walking towards the woods. You watched him closely, wanting to take in every single detail about him for as long as you could.

And just when he had passed the border, you spoke up again.

“Draco? You will be okay, won´t you?”

The boy turned around to you again and smiled at you.

“Don´t worry, love. I got something worth to coming back to now.”

“You promise?”

“I promise. I´ll be back before you can even start to miss me.”

“Then you wouldn’t be able to leave at all.”

“I told you, I won´t leave. I´ll be with you. Always.”

You nodded. But there was still one thing left to say. One thing that you should have told the boy who meant so much to you, a very long time ago, and that might have changed things – at least between the two of you for the better.

“But Draco, just so you know I… I l…”

But before you could even finish your sentence, Draco cut you off.

“I know, love. This isn’t the time for this. But someday you will tell me and I´ll tell you too, and I swear to Salazar, I´ll never get tired of it, yes?”

You nodded.

“Yeah.”

A soft breeze blew through the trees around you, making you shiver. Draco smiled at you as you crossed your arms in front of your chest, trying to shield yourself from the cold. One day, he would be there, to do so for you; to protect you, not only from the cold but every harm out there. He just knew it and deep down, you felt it too. And for that reason, the smile on your face didn’t fade when your gaze wasn’t fixed on Draco anymore but on the empty ground, he had stood on only seconds ago, leaving behind the promise of a happily ever after for the both of you.