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Since tumblr is going to shit, reblog this if you would like a l1fting discord or google doc!

Going along my path of working with the Fair Folk, I have tweaked some of my own guidelines when interacting with them. I had a post about Faery Etiquette that I decided to remove because looking back on it, many of the tips should’ve have been elaborated on so this is my new and improved tips for interacting with faeries.Theses guidelines have come from folklore, books and my own experiences!

Expressing Gratitude 

One of the hardest things for beginner fae workers to understand is the rule of not saying “Thank You” to the Fae. There are many theorised reasons why you shouldn’t say this particular phrase because it might be taken as you are being dismissive or you admitting debt to them. Now, this doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be grateful towards them, instead of quickly saying “thank you”, take your time to express gratitude towards them. One method is to pay back what they have blessed you with! This means setting out an offering of small trinkets, food or drink with the intention of showing gratitude. If you find yourself unable to set aside an offering or you would rather be short and sweet, try rephrasing “Thank you” in other words like “I appreciate this gesture….” or “I’m very grateful for…”

Names

It is best to not tell the Fair Folk your full name and this goes for any spirit. Names hold power and you wouldn’t go around giving just anyone the ability to hold power over you. If you go by a name different than your birth name, I still wouldn’t give them your current name. When they ask for an introduction you can give them a nickname or false name but phrase it so you aren’t technically lying about your name, for example “You may call me *insert new name*”

Honesty and Politeness

Faeries are very different beings from us humans so you should treat them with the utmost respect as to not upset and get yourself into a tricky situation. The Fair Folk are very honest beings and respect the truth so they expect us to be just as honest as they are, so do not lie! There is the belief that fairies cannot lie but it is unsure if that is myth or not. Although the Fae are very honest, they are very skilled at twisting their words and speaking in rhymes so make sure that you do not take everything they say as the straightforward truth. I would not recommend that you try at twisting your words when talking to them because that may get you into some trouble also so it is best that you either speak the truth or keep quiet. Apologies are very important but just like the rule with “Thank you” you shouldn’t say “Sorry”!!This can also be confusing but just show your apology in different way because the phrase can be seen as lazy or dismissive so try setting out an offering to appease them.

Visiting their Realm 

If you find yourself visiting the Faerie Realm, always err on the side of caution!!!! This goes for any spirit or astral work! You are stepping into a land that is unknown to you and has many of it’s own rules and customs. Take the countries of our own realm for example, North American countries are very different when it comes to countries in Europe or Asia and it is expected when you visit a different country you try to learn and follow those customs to be polite. Be polite and respectful of the beings that live there but also be cautious of their intentions. Fae workers must realize that not all fae have good intentions but then again not all fae are malicious so be wary when interacting! When visiting have your spirit guides or a trusted fairy guide you through the realm so you don’t get into trouble. 

Food & Gifts

Many old folk tales describing interactions with the fair folk often warn against the consumption of food in the spirit realm. For example in the story of Hades and Persephone the pomegranate Persephone eats ties her to the Underworld or in Japanese legend the goddess, Izanami was trapped in the Underworld because she had consumed the food there. Folk tales from the British Isles say that the food of the Faerie realm tastes heavenly but is often  enchanted so that whoever would eat it would be placed in a trance. But who knows if these tales are true so as I said before, always be cautious with faeries. Morgan Daimler states in her book Fairycraft, that “When in the Irish Otherworld it is a bad idea to eat or drink anything, and if its offered to you find a way to very politely decline; on the other hand if in one of the Norse Fairy Worlds- ljiossalfheim or svartalfheim, for example-it is acceptable to take food and drink and is worse to refuse than accept it. Should you be in a Fairy world that is not Norse or Celtic try to learn the expected customs first..” (Daimler, 2016)

Fairy Gifts are a very tricky subject I find but here is how I go about it! Trust your intuition when accepting gifts! Declining gifts from the Fae can be considered disrespectful to them so if you receiving a gift from a trusted faery then accept but if you are unsure about the side effects of accepting then either kindly decline or accept it and cleanse the gift. Just be wary that the faery may expect something in return for the gift so be prepared to give them an offering.

-Moonlight 🌙

Sources:

The Secret of Kells (forest sprite)

Ash Lad in the Hall of the Mountain King (trolls/nymphs/etc.)

Spiderwick Chronicles (variety of faeries)

Maleficent (variety of faeries)

Labyrinth (goblins/pixies/etc.)

The Hole in the Ground (Changelings)

Pan’s Labyrinth (faun/pixies/etc.)

Song of the Sea (selkies and others)

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Iron

Iron in any form or shape has always been considered the very best protection against fae – in almost all legends, the metal is like kryptonite to Superman. If you kept an iron nail in your pocket, you couldn’t be carried away by them. Sometimes iron nails were sewn into the hems of children’s clothing for that reason. A pair of iron shears hung on the wall near a baby’s bed was said to prevent the child from being swapped for an ugly fae baby.

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Steel

Steel is also effective against the faeries because it is created from processed iron. If a faery is cut by a steel or iron blade, the wound will not heal or will take a very long time. In some stories, the Fae is slowly poisoned by such a wound. Steel or iron weapons are among the few things that can actually kill a Fae being.

However, unless it was plainly self-defense (and sometimes even that wouldn’t help your case), you could expect the rest of the faeries to exact a terrible retribution!

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Horseshoes

You can put one above the main entrance of your house and it will help protect the entire home. For added protection, put iron near any opening a person could go through. If you have large windows, you may want to place some nails near it to make a barrier. You can do the same with your dog’s house to keep the fairies out.

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Bells & Chimes

Bells were also said to have frightened off evil faeries in Medieval Ireland and elsewhere in Europe. Specifically the big, deep-sounding Church bells that would ring to draw the people to Church. So this theory can be applied to your home by hanging deep-toned chimes on your front or back porch or by using deep sounding bells during magickal ritual.

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Food

Traditionally, bread and salt provided protection from the Fae. Carrying yeast-risen bread with you had a two-fold effect. It would repel some faeries. Other faeries would accept it as an offering and leave you alone.

My gramma taught me a Welsh tradition of leaving a saucer of milk and a slice of bread or some bread crusts on the back porch as an offering to the faeries, so they wouldn’t play pranks on the family or trouble the livestock. Sometimes, if you were seeking the faeries’ aid, you might add berries, honey, or cheese.

Even humble oatmeal was believed to be a fairy repellent. You could carry a handful of dry oatmeal in your pocket or sprinkle it on your clothes. As long as you didn’t mind looking flaky, you’d be safe.

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Salt

Salt’s association with purity made it an excellent tool against otherworldly beings. Spreading salt across the threshold and along the windowsills has long been the primary method of keeping faeries, demons, and spirits out of houses. If you had to carry food to the farmhands in the fields, sprinkling it with salt was said to keep the faeries from taking it – or from extracting the nourishment from it unseen!

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Offerings

Leave a pail of fresh milk, butter, or cream outside of your front door on the eight holy days to appease the fae and keep them from wreaking havoc on garden and home. Leaving faery offerings and libations dates back hundreds of years, and if you have any Celtic ancestors, you probably have ancestors who partook in this tradition. Some people in Europe still do! This is a preventative method of protection from trickster and evil fairies. Make them happy at the back door so they don’t intrude.

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Plants

Historically, garlands were often made of marsh marigolds and hung over the barn doors to protect the horses from being ridden to exhaustion by faeries in the night. Flowers, especially primroses, were spread over windowsills and hung above the door-posts of the house for safety. Your best bet, however, was a plant called St. John’s Wort. Wearing it was said to provide strong protection from fairy magic and mischief.

Fairies could vanish at will and remain invisible to mortal eyes for as long as they pleased. Carrying a four-leafed clover would allow you to see the faeries – but only once. A Celtic tradition was to sew several of the clovers into a tiny bag to be worn around the neck. You could then discern the faeries once for each clover in the bag. In some legends, the clover was said to allow you to see through fairy glamors and magical disguises.

Red berries were believed to keep fae at bay, especially if they were from rowan trees, mountain ash or holly. So did red verbena (a flower). Daisies were often tucked into children’s pockets or woven into fanciful chains to wear around their necks to prevent them from being taken away by the fae. And if you were walking through the woods, it was best to carry a walking stick or staff made of ash or rowan wood.

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Protection Charm

At this season, the Winter Court is in rule and you will want to look out for malicious, harmful beings in your interactions with the fae. You can make yourself a protection charm using:

St. John’s Wort

Sea Salt

Lemon Zest

Rosemary

Eggshells

An Iron Nail

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Ancestral & Deity Protection

One of the MOST effective forms of protection against evil faeries (and other spirits in general) is to invite your ancestors and gods into your home. Once your guides and guardians take up residence in your home, they do most of the work of keeping out negative forces like evil fairies and the like. In fact, my ancestors are SO good at protection, I have to ask their permission to allow any other spirits inside the home!

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Faery Box

Decorate a small box by painting it and gluing on glitter or plastic gems. Inside place leaves, pinecones, crystals, and plants. Add a piece of felt or fleece in the centre as a soft bed you can add essential oil to. Draw a sigil on it that will protect you from harmful fae. At night, light a fake candle by the box, and leave out some food.

Make sure to protect yourself from negative influence. Then invite those of good intention to see the place you’ve prepared for them to rest in, and stay with you through the night if they wish to. Leave the candle on, as long as it’s a fake one, and then go to bed.

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The Circle Of Light

Another effective yet simple technique of faery protection consists of using one’s mind and energy. If you are used to using visualization in your meditations, rituals, and spells, this method of fae protection should be familiar to you. It’s what I like to call the Circle of Light.

You can do this visualization exercise any time of the day, any day of the week and as often as you’d like. For me particularly, I do it every night as I’m lying in bed and before I go to sleep to continue to build the circle’s strength around my home

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Running Water

Fae folk are unable to cross streams and rivers, so in any pursuit leaping from bank to bank will be a sure escape for the hunted human. Water courses running south are said to be especially efficacious.

Oddly, nevertheless, fae seem to have no objection to still water. They actively seek it out for washing themselves and they are from time to time associated with wells. For example John Rhys in Celtic folklore (1901, p.147 & chapter 6) notes the existence of several ‘faery wells’ in Wales which demanded attention from local people, in the absence of which they would overflow or flood.

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Hag Stones

According to John Aubrey, if a person could locate stones through which natural erosion had created a hole, they could protect their horses from night-riding by fae by hanging the stones over each horse’s manger in the stables- or by tying the stone to the stable key. The fairies would not then be able to pass underneath.

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Research is the most important thing to do before heading into Faery work and witchcraft. You want to have a lot of in depth and versatile knowledge covering many areas of the topic so you’ll be able to understand and interact with the Fair Folk! If you don’t want to work with the Fair Folk you can use this list to help yourself understand them and take the proper measure if you ever stumble upon them. I know the list could go on forever but I’m compiling the topics I find build a good foundation of understanding. I have compiled this list to give those interested guidance and a push in the right direction, it is best you do your own research before asking other’s personal knowledge and opinions!!

The Basics

Terminology ( Fae, faery, fairy, changeling, seelie, unseelie, sidhe, etc)

The Origins of the Fae (Tuatha de Dannan, Aos Sí, Tylwyth Teg)

Faeries in Different Cultures: Celtic (Irish, Scottish, Gaulish, French), Norse, Influences from Greek and Roman culture.

Folklore & Myths!! ex. Oisin and Tír na nÓg , Fenian Cycle, Arthurian Legend. 

Celtic Gods, Goddesses & Heroes- strong influences and connections to the Fae

Types of Faeries (study diverse types from pixies,brownies, pooka to Kelpies, Bwbach and Red caps) *Make sure you can at least answer who, what and where about them.

The Otherworlds (Tir na Nog, Caer Arianrhod, Annwn, Alfheim, Svartalfheim, etc.)

Faery Landmarks (fairy tree, fairy ring, fairy hill)

Signs of the Fae

Sacred Trees and Plants (Hawthorn) 

Protection!! very important

*Bonus if you learn Celtic Culture

Getting into Working with Them

Connecting to Nature and the Land

How to Banish Faeries & Protect yourself, house, family, etc.

Faery Behaviour and Proper Etiquette

Proper Offerings, How to give an Offering

Animals associated with the Fair Folk and Why? (raven, deer, etc)

Faery Festivals and Holidays (Samhain, Midsummer, Beltane)

Why certain things offend them- iron, saying “thank you”,etc.

The Courts (Seelie, Unseelie, trooping fairies, solitary)

Setting up a Faery Altar

How to work with them in Rituals 

Faery Flowers, herbs and crystals

A proper and personal way to communicate with them!!this means developing psychic ability, tarot, meditation, signs, etc.

Hagstones, heptagram/faery star

Some Good Books :) 

The Fairy-Faith in Celtic Countries, by W. Y. Evans Wentz  

Encyclopedia of Spirits by Judika Illes 

Enchantment of the Faerie Realm by Ted Andrews 

Faery Craft by Morgan Daimler 

Celtic Mythology: Tales of Gods, Goddesses, and Heroes by Phillip Freeman

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While it also sucks to be on the other end of the empathy spectrum, here's why having over-active empathy can suck too.

If you punch a stuffed animal or throw it, I will genuinely feel a pang of pain and tell you to stop. I also constantly feel guilty for not taking good enough care of or loving my stuffed animals enough and I think about them thinking that I don't actually care about them. I also feel guilty for leaving stuffed animals at the store, because Then They Will Never Get A Home. Do you see my problem?

I literally cannot handle if anyone is upset. If anyone is upset, I need to make them Not Upset or I feel like it's my fault they're upset. This makes me really susceptible to manipulation, because if you tell me that you are hurting, I Will Have To Fix It.

I can't throw food out. It makes me feel so bad. Even if stuff is rotten, I feel so incredibly wasteful. I mean I can, but the emotional toll is WAY more than it should be.

If I hurt someone feelings, it will stay with me for years. It can be something minor like an insensitive joke made age twelve, but it makes me lay awake at night.

I can get really upset about a story or a movie I watched, where someone was unfairly treated. I can literally get so angry over certain things that I read on the fucking internet, that it ruins my entire day.