#verbal tics

- Ilya's little "okee"

- Ilya scratches his nose/sniffs when he's deflecting/lying

- "You are so boring" -> basically a term of endearment atp

- Shane repeats things for clarification a lot

- he also says "sure" when he's on the defensive/aiming for nonchalance, agreement as appeasement (thanks @landofla )

- Shane's knee jerk insult compendium: "Fuck you" and "You're an asshole". He actually swears a LOT more than Ilya which surprised me my first time watching

- Shane's 'hey~' -> go-to means of gaining Ilya's attention, especially in more serious/intimate moments

- Shane is fastidious, picks at lint and crumbs a lot

- Shane wells up with tears when he's emotional but rarely lets them fall

- Ilya turns his face away when he cries, hiding his tears

- Shane taps his finger on the steering wheel/gear shift when he's nervous

- Ilya touches his mom's cross to centre himself

- Ilya full-body shakes off stressful/high intensity conversations

- Shane puts on a shirt real weird, he puts it over his head completely before weaving his arms through the holes

- MUTUAL ORAL FIXATION!!! Hoodie strings in mouths / Ilya's chain in his mouth. They're for sure gnawing the shit out of pen caps

- Shane awkwardly puts his thumbs in his pockets when he's standing (thank you @sneakyliz !!)

(Nsfw habits lol)

- Shane throws back his head and closes his eyes a lot when they're Really In It

- Ilya's boob grabbing obsession obviously

- also Ilya's chin grabbing obsession!! He's always grabbing that boy

- he is also always slapping/patting/swatting that boy

- Shane mimics how Ilya touches him a LOT

- Ilya's kind of a mouth breather when he's really turned on, lips are almost always parted

- CONSTANTLY touching and clinging onto each other throughout, they use physical contact for reassurance

- FINGERS IN FUCKING MOUTHS ALWAYS!! Oral fixation part 2: electric boogaloo

- Ilya likes watching it go in while they're fucking. In what? Either hole tbh (thank you @ohmystarsoverhead )

- Shane nuzzling Ilya's crotch to bliss out/clam down lol

- Shane has a specific dreamy smile when Ilya's kissing his neck

- and of course Shane's socks stay ON during sex!!!

I also see hate / call outs like "they say they have tics but why obviously don't have/aren't diagnosed with tourettes.'

Okay ...??? Your point?

CW: i don't experience it that way personally but contents can imply abuse/mistreatment of children, tagging the post accordingly just in case

i might ramble more about this zine later but for now i just want to share it <3

growing up with tics was for sure an experience

and i've been thinking about how unfair it was to be treated poorly by adults because of it

so i made a zine

hello, my name is sun and i live with severe tourette syndrome. been dealing with it as long as i can remember.

while some people ask "does that hurt?" (which the answer is yes, yes it does) there are other people who are surprised to find out that tourettes can be quite painful. i mean it can be seriously painful.

having your muscles flex and contract as hard as they can over and over again, sometimes rapidly, and multiple times a minutes, or one-or-two times a minute is painful and exhausting. having your muscles instantly tense up as hard as they can, around over one thousand times in one day, every day is just agonizing. the exhaustion and soreness is like no other.

additionally, my throat can become sore from all the vocal tics. when i have motor tics in my neck and throat, i've had my throat hurt and pull itself internally in bizarre ways i didn't even know about. ways that i couldn't being to describe. muscles moving, pushing, closing in the weirdest fucking ways that leave me hurt, sore, and discomforted. it invents new ways for me to feel pain :|

this can be a very painful condition. while i know most people with tourette syndrome won't present this way, there are other people like me out there.

it sucks to not only be mortifyingly embarrassed 24/7, but ontop of everything, it's excruciating!!!!! and exhausting!!! (every year of my life i wait for a day where it does not embarrass me, but that day has never come.)

for me this means shouting ‘god is dead’ in church. its saying ‘nice tits’ at a random woman walking by. its saying ‘burn in hell’ when my friend came out to me. it sucks, and its a lot more than just cursing.