Malik.

You are so fucking fucked and it’s too late to run. No one escapes the Labrador Cyclone Trap.

the fact that once a year we just put the clocks forward an hour and say that’s how it’s gonna be for 6 months, and then put it back an hour and say that’s how it’s gonna be now is actual proof that time does not exist and is purely a social construct that means literally nothing

can you imagine not being human & just living out your days as a weeping willow, though? beautiful? by the water? unburdened? ideal

I wanna be the one from Harry Potter that beats the shit out of everyone and everything

Fun fact if you talk to me past midnight i get real personal and it’s weird

12:00am- oh I man I love cheese pizza too! 12:01am- I killed a man once

me, thinking bout buzzfeed unsolved: 10/10 would (wheeze) again