The kind of morning that lasts all afternoon

friends was right

explain

it hasn’t been my day, my week, my month, or even my year

we all out here being gay and loving rice

i hate seeing people i know in public like why can’t everyone else just stay home

what if mayonnaise came in cans

that would suck because you can’t microwave metal…

good morning to everyone except these two people

my favorite thing i’ve learned in college is that way back in ancient china there was this poet/philosopher guy who wrote this whole pretentious poem about how enlightened he was that was like “the eight winds cannot move me” blahblahblah and he was really proud of it so he sent it to his friend who lived across the lake and then his friend sends it back and just writes “FART” (or the ancient Chinese equivalent) on it and he was SO MAD he travels across the lake to chew his friend out and when he gets there his friend says “wow. the eight winds cannot move you, but one fart sends you across the lake”

this is even funnier because just writing “fart” out of the blue sounds really stupid and random in english, but in chinese, fart (fang pi) is used as a common reply to, well, people talking out of their ass. kind of like how we’d use “bullshit” in context.

yo i ain’t saying she’s a gold-digger but she does carry a weird pan everywhere and keep mumbling stuff about “gold in them there hills” idk so yeah she is probably a gold digger

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