Fact Checking Facts I Just Made Up

@fakefactchecking

Replying to made up facts with equally made up facts under the pretense of checking the made up validity of said made up facts.

126 posts

facts-i-just-made-up

fakefactchecking

Out of spite for you making me learn about Casu Marzu, I'm not even gonna fact check this one.

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facts-i-just-made-up

An omelette originating from emu eggs is not called an "emulet" as an "emulet" is an amulet made from emu eyes for improved omens while obtaining emu eggs for emu egg omelettes.

an emulator however is a gun that turns you into an emu

facts-i-just-made-up

Unless, of course, you have emunity.

fakefactchecking

True. During the great emu war, the Australians found that their enemuy were naturally emune to emulation on account of already being emus.

#unreality #true

Is it fpreg or fempreg? (Female equivalent of mpreg)

Asking for a friend

I had to go on a year-long pilgrimage to answer this question. It's wpreg. For wumbo.

What if I ⓘ Fact Checked you?

- @useful-tips

Would you fact check Kairos Fateweaver?

maximillian-the-magnificent

Despite what they may tell you gnomes are not protected by any kind of game or poaching laws. If anything it helps your local community to quickly deal with one if you see it.

You can even boil them and peel off their hats to get at that sweet gnome meat beneath as a quick snack on the road.

fakefactchecking

False. If you bring harm to a gnome, you will find it inflicted on you tenfold. This is not due to any laws, nor is it self-defense on the gnome's part, but instead I will personally deliver it.

#unreality #wizardposting

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facts-i-just-made-up

Hope your Thanksgiving was great everybody! Be sure to put the turkey back in the freezer for next year so it doesn't spoil!

fakefactchecking

False. Please don't refreeze thawed meat...

facts-i-just-made-up

fakefactchecking

False. The sign clearly says "B0B'S," which is the town hall's wifi password. It is unknown whether the wifi password or the sign came first.

#unreality #false

facts-i-just-made-up

The 2025 Nobel Peace Prize Nominees

The Nobel Peace Prize is famous for always releasing the list of nominees long before public voting begins. This year, the Nobie award has five nominees selected by the Academy of Peace, Love, and Understanding:

Gertrude K. Plasticknob

G.K. Plasticknob spent most of her 89 years on Earth campaigning for a truce between the FlyQuest and DarkZero Dragonsteel teams of Fortnite, whose rivalry has caused over 300 doxxings and 20 swattings. With Gertrude's help from her computer in the Mary's Hope Nunnery For The Chronically Online, she has saved over 30,000 lives, and 80,000 denial of service repair hours.

Jesus of Nazareth

Jesus has been popular among religious people for nearly 200 years but has yet to win a single Nobie. Credited with raising the dead, walking on water, and dying very horribly, Jesus has inspired numerous crusades, executions, and estrangements in the name of peace and love.

Taylor Swift

Far richer and more popular than Jesus is iconic dubstep singer Taylor Swift, whose private airplane has dispersed enough "Peace Gasses" to subdue numerous warlike factions into truces across the globe. Unable to feud with lung cancer, Swift has single handedly brought over 20% of the globe the sweet eternal peace of death.

Kyle J. Laprutter

Kyle isn't a favorite to win because he's only 8, but according to him yesterday on the playground he has saved thousands of lives and is friends with Barack Obama. You know it's true because he said so.

This Cat:

His name is Estaban. He united Tumblr.

fakefactchecking

Mostly true, save for one mistake. While there is a nominee named Jesus, it is not Jesus of Nazareth but rather Jesus of Supliside.

According to tradition, Jesus of Supliside is the son of Raeganus, god of economic deregulation, discrimination, and climate denialism. He is credited with saving the world from the horrors of free healthcare and affordable housing, rescuing oil company executives from the evil environmentalists, and uniting his followers against the depravities of "love" and "acceptance".

#in case it's not obvious this is about Ronald Reagan #I despise ronald reagan #fuck ronald reagan

facts-i-just-made-up

Why aren’t there dinosaur ghosts?

If there aren't any dinosaur ghosts, how do you explain this:

facts-i-just-made-up

I uh. I meant to post a pic of a glowing dinosaur, but selected flaccid james bond instead.

fakefactchecking

True. Behold!

#unreality #true

Webcomics used to be better, before woke

Webcomics used to be about video games and now they are about trangender

I miss when portal cake lie

Now they are pronouns

And still portal cake like but glados is a lebsian

fakefactchecking

False. GLaDOS has always been a lesbian.

#Only a little unreality #False

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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facts-i-just-made-up

If a church is prevented from molting due to its surroundings, it will never be able to grow into a full cathedral. Chapels in particular are intentionally stunted to be kept in homes or hospitals.

fakefactchecking

True. Although there is technically no limit to how many times a church can molt, growth beyond the basilica stage has never been observed, likely due to insufficient food availability within the church's natural ecosystem.

#unreality #church #cathedral #true

facts-i-just-made-up

There is no evolutionary explanation of badgers. We just don’t know what they’re for or why they’re here.

fakefactchecking

False. They're here because they're wonderful.

#badgers #not really unreality #false

facts-i-just-made-up

Though Ursula K. Le Guin's novel "The Lathe of Heaven" is regarded as a classic of science fiction, her sequels "The Band Saw of Purgatory" and "The Benchtop Drill Press of Hell" are less well known.

fakefactchecking

True. Even lesser known is the prequel "The Hydraulic Press of Limbo."

#unreality #true

facts-i-just-made-up

well... well... well...

All's ____ that ends ____ if you escape from an abandoned ____?

fakefactchecking

Could be true. I'll confirm when I get out.

fakefactchecking

It was not. All is absolutely not well.

“The bravest thing I have ever done was admitting to myself how scared I actually was.”

— Jaz Marie

facts-i-just-made-up

The bravest thing I have ever done was fight a giant mutant cobra with my bare hands as I rode on the back of a race car while falling with no parachute from an SR-71 as it exploded.

fakefactchecking

True. I was the parachute.

#unreality #true

•18+ Adults Only

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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facts-i-just-made-up

what kind of bear is chasing me please fast

You can identify various types of bear as follows:

Brown: Brown Bear

White: Polar Bear

Black and White: Panda Bear

Grey And Eating Eucalyptus: Koala Bear

Wearing Glasses: Spectacled Bear

Large and On Fire: Sun Bear

Chasing You Very Slowly: Sloth Bear

More Interested In Your Pic-a-nic Basket: Yogi Bear

Scary Looking: Grizzly Bear

Scary and Gross Looking: Grisly Bear

Scary, Gross, and Chewy Looking: Gristley Bear

Chases You Forever, Refuses to Give You Up: Rick-Astley Bear

Peruvian-British, Proper, Polite: Paddington Bear

Delicious: Gummy Bear

Please let us know later which bear it was that ate you.

fakefactchecking

False. Koalas are not bears.

#not unreality #false

facts-i-just-made-up

fakefactchecking

False. I have spent years building my tolerance to iocane powder.

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