“#thanks for adding my tag lmao #but seriously could you imagine how fucking devastating it would have been if they had killed fai? #I’m happy they didn’t kill him #but I’m curious about how he would have died (like if it would have been from the curse or something else) #and I’m curious about how the other characters would have reacted”
If you think about it if Fai died in Celes it would have changed not only his own character progression, but altered Kurogane’s as well. He would have awoken in Nihon (possibly with his arm depending on when in the ark CLAMP would have killed Fai) finding out that Fai had a hand in making sure they arrived in a safe world, his world. But Kurogane would have been frustrated and upset at Fai for dying there, because that meant that Fai didn’t intend to live when they embarked on Celes. Recognizing that Fai had decided to finally live and let go of his past during Celes; for him to die there in front of Kurogane, and Kurogane not being able to save him would forever hurt him. He had finally arrived back home, what he had wished for from the beginning, and yet he lost a part of what he truly valued and loved. Shedding some tears in private, that the idiot had really gotten himself killed this time.
If he had his arm he would have felt the magic that Fai had placed on it disappear, with Fai dead no part of his magic would remain. Fai was gone, this time permanently. He would have lost some of his strength, but not psychically, but of his heart now that Fai wasn’t alive. Losing a part of his family once again in front of his own eyes and not being able to do anything about it even with all of his strength (driving home the point that there are things strength can’t protect). However, what would be even more gut wrenching would be if he did lose his arm, but Fai still dies. Imagine that scene where Fai can’t escape, but instead of Kurogane succeeding in getting him out, the circle closes and Fai is left there to die. Only Kurogane never let go of him, so because of this his arm is cut off when the circle closes. The last moments Fai sees is his most of his family safe, but Fai never knows if Kurogane survives after seeing his arm get loped off, because he dies moments after because of the second curse. In a sense Fai really had really gotten closer to death the more he used magic, that in the end when his magic wore out so did his life. Also imagine the guilt in this scenario, despite the warning Kurogane had decided to kill Ashura even at the cost of his own strength to save Fai. But because Fai didn’t kill him, the second curse would have activated and Fai ultimately would have died. An indirect act of contributing to what would have been Fai’s death. Fai ultimately killed by his own kindness, his inability to take a life of someone he cared about, despite the circumstances – how could Kurogane be mad at him for making such a decision? Fai had after all tried to live, tried to end Ashura’s life along with his own beforehand. Knowing Fai chose to save the kids and Kurogane over himself, he was selfless once more. (I doubt that CLAMP would have killed him during the last scene of Celes, but you never know)
Even afterwards, Kurogane would have never really gotten a truly happy ending. He may have ended FWR after having been fuled by avenging not only his family and country, but Fai too. He would have learned throughout the journey, even with Fai gone, maybe because of Fai being gone and losing him, what strength was and what truly mattered, as well as feeling true grief again and trying to overcome it. He may have even watched over the kids in Fai’s place, returning to Nihon every now and then but still journeying on with Syaoran and Mokona (perhaps Sakura would have traveled with them in this situation), but the journey would never be the same without the cheerful magician who died protecting them all.
I imagine Syaoran’s reaction would have been similar to how Fai reacted in Clow where C!Syaoran disappears (which would have never happened for Fai in this theoretical AU where CLAMP killed Fai, because he wouldn’t be there to react to it). That the other Syaoran not having magic ability for the last fight, wasn’t worth the price of Fai’s life. That Fai despite his lies, honestly wished for his companion’s safety till the very end. Kurogane would reassure Syaoran, because I could imagine him feeling guilty here about his meddling with the past, that maybe what he did contributed to Fai being killed because of his own desires to save Sakura.
And Mokona the poor thing, one of her friends had died, and this way there was no way of getting him back. She would have snuggled up to both Kurogane and Syaoran that night in Nihon, in her own way grieving but also trying to cheer the other two up. Right after losing Fai, Mokona would see Sakura get stabbed by the Syaoran’s and her body abducted by Kyle later (likely crying out that Fai had died to get that body of Sakura’s back, trying to plead with Kyle not to take it unsuccessfully) and having to deal with possibly losing her too.
Imagine Syaoran and Kurogane facing Sakura again after everything, having to tell her they couldn’t protect him like she asked them to in Infinity. They know of course that Sakura would just be happy that they were with Fai until the very end, but it doesn’t make telling her hurt any less. Clone Syaoran ultimately feeling responsible in those moments in Clow when they show up with their other selves, seeing that Fai isn’t there and blaming himself because if he hadn’t stolen his eye and magic, maybe Fai would have been able to escape.
Basically, everyone would have regret in his death and be grieved over it and never truly get over not seeing his warm smile or his kindheartedness ever again, or having this twinge of sadness hearing the nicknames they come so accustom to calling each other, now I’ve made myself sad thinking about it and can you see how much these thoughts wreck me so. Please CLAMP don’t ever kill Fai.
jacobvanloon
gummygunk
titsay
izzy806
vaporwave
turnnoffyourmind
