Why Hello There

all of these things are risk factors for all sorts of different things, and if you want to break people down into risk categories, there are actual factual predictors for that kind of thing. and they’re not “is male” or “is female”, b/c those are incoherent categories

like make no mistake: “male” and “female” are easy categories, but they’re not really “medically accurate” wrt risk, they just happen to correlate roughly well for most people. and when i say “most people” i don’t even mean “non-intersex cis people”, i mean “people with a statistically average hormone load & sexual differentiation profile”.

For many this would be distressing. 

There are fake bisexuals. 

Little known fact.

Up to 40% of self proclaimed “bisexuals” are actually just a swarm of bees in a trench coat desperately mimicking human form following a colony collapse. 

WAS

THAT

A group of 10 teenage girls come into the restaurant.

“What time do you guys close?”

I say, “We close at 10:00pm”

She replies, “table for ten please”

A little frustrated (because I’m not a fucking hostess/server) I seat them and inform them that a server will be with them shortly. I have to go to the back and retrieve a server who just got her tips from the day and is packing up to go home.

“_____, we have a table of ten for you..”

She started to cry because she had been there since we OPENED that morning and hadn’t seen her babies that day.

Obviously she’s angry too, and it shows. But she’s still attentive to the young ladies.

They don’t get up from the table until almost 11:00 and come to the front to pay.

“Our server was a bitch” “Our server was mean” “Our server didn’t like us”

“Your server just wanted to go home an hour ago,” I say.

“It’s her job, she’s getting paid, so what?”

I let them know that she’s worked hard today and wanted to be able to see her kids before her husband tucks them in bed.

They pay, leave no tip for her, and leave the building.

The moral of the story is that it’s not “cute” or “cool” to go to restaurants late at night right before they close. Workers want to go home. Workers want to see their families. Workers want to get sleep so they can do it all over again tomorrow.

It doesn’t matter if you’re rude or polite.

When we say that we close at 10:00pm, we would really like to ACTUALLY close at 10:00pm. And even if you leave RIGHT AT closing, that server still has to clean up after you. Make sure the table is clean, make sure the floor is clean, make sure the dishes are clean and put away, make sure they have their tips, and get a manager to walk them to their car.

DO YOU UNDERSTAND HOW HARD IT IS TO ?????

Age that women first noticed men were looking at them sexually

The feeling was instantaneous - hot and cold at the same time. Your stomach curdles and chills while your skin heats and feels like it’s melting away. My whole face turned red and all I wanted to do was vomit.  “I am fourteen years old.”

He looked embarrassed as hell.

… And yet …

“What? No, you can’t be.”

“… BUT I AM. I AM FOURTEEN YEARS OLD.”

“Bullshit, where’s your ID?”

“SIR, the only ID she has is from her JUNIOR HIGH SCHOOL.”  My (male) manager had walked up behind me (he later said he heard me say my age the first time around and came running over). “She’s a minor. She doesn’t have to show you anything. Can I help you with something? Do you need help with a purchase?”

The word ‘minor’ set this guy off and he started ranting about how I was leading him on. Another customer (probably in his 20s) overheard it all, looked at me and back at the guy, obviously determined that I was not in my twenties, sneered and went “Gross, dude” - which, yeah, but that set this creep off even more. My manager and another male employee ended up walking him out.

Thank the fucking lord my mother returned a minute later and had a fucking meltdown when she saw what was going on.