Faithful

The world is so self centered

They don’t even remember who God truly is, if they did, they would fear Him, they would revere Him

If they did they would have a Holy awe for He is Awesome and this world is a wonder in itself

If there were eyes to see Him they would know

If they esteemed Him greater then themselves He would come to them

He would be there, for He always is and has been there, they just look past Him

Like they look past the blank faces in the crowds they pass through, the blank pages they scroll through

Oh God, save America

Call your people, shake them wake them, Holy Spirit bring back to remembrance their God

Who knew them before they were formed, who knit them together, who breathed His very breath into them, the heart must remember

Spark a flame, kindle a fire, use the old passions and desires of their fathers, cut them down like in the days of Gideon, use their old towers for the wood and light the fire

Burn a light so they can find it in the darkness

For this is a curious people, so curious from the beginning led to sway from tree to tree eating fruits not meant to be

Without you they’re nothing really, brought up from the mire it’s your Spirit that makes them higher then dirt

They’re so far gone chasing this and that and every natural disaster swirling all around them, they can’t see left from right, up from down, they’ll just drown in their own stupidity and in the end cry please let the rocks fall on me!

So God you are great and you are good, the blood of Christ sufficiently ransomed these fools

Please light a fire so in their darkness, in the midst of their self made disasters, perhaps they’ll see a flicker and even curiously chase it,

Like a moth drawn to the light

Then let them burn

Oh set them ablaze

A rough and wild awakening perhaps

but if a nudge won’t wake them from their fickleness maybe a roller coaster will

Take them on a ride, the ride of their life

Holy Spirit, I hope they’re shocked to death

Ashes to ashes

And finding themselves alive in Christ, breathing the breath of God, with pure reverence of Him in their hearts

Sitting out in this downpour, listening to the sound of the rain, it reminds me of Amos 9 around verses 13-15, in the Message translation. It says, blessings, blessings like wine (I heard the word rain)

Blessings like rain pouring off the mountains and hills… I’ll make everything right again for my people…

And HE DID ✝️🩸

I love Jesus

The testimony of who I am and who I’m with…

Thinking about where we all are on our walks, who we click with, some say they’re Pentecostal, some charismatic, Christian, Catholic, Holiness… I hear it all the time, laying claims on the traditional beliefs that seem to box in a denomination, defining with all these ideologies. Our claim of something is a testimony.

It reminds me of Paul, in 1 Corinthians 1, Paul targets separation among Gods people. “I’m on Paul’s side”, or “I’m for Apollo’s”, “I’m with Peter”…

Jesus never claimed any of these denominations. Jesus said He was a lot of things but He never claimed a belief system. I think of all the things Jesus said about himself, who He is, and then I remember, in John 14, He said “In that day, you will know that I am in my father and you are in me and I am in you.” Then in John 17 He prayed, “…the glory that you gave me, I’ve given to them, that they would be one as you and I are one, I in them and you in me, that they might become perfectly one…”

As far as I know, the testimony of Jesus is the only testimony I have ❤️

When someone asks what denomination I am, I say, “I lovvvvve Jesus”.

In a vision in the day

Without a mirror I saw mirrored into my eyes

I saw a pool of water and it was full of life

And a drop that made a ripple

The light of the water rippled then reflected Him in me

I don’t care to know how to do miracles, I care to know Jesus.

Jesus is the miracle and in knowing Him miracles just follow Him.

Yet, if I lived my whole life never working a miracle, but I knew Jesus fully, then I would be fully satisfied with nothing lacking.

The Word made flesh

Christ is the Word made flesh

He is the bread of life

His flesh is the bread

He becomes formed in us

Paul travailed for Christ to be formed in us

Jesus is the bread of life

And He said, a little leaven ruins the whole batch

As Christ forms in you, careful of the leaven

As Christ is formed in you

The Revelation of Jesus Christ rises

Taste the mystery revealed

Salt of the earth, He is the Word that overtake this flesh

For this flesh is not mine

It was not my design

Jesus unveiled

He completes us, makes us new, fresh, and full of flavor

Because it’s no longer us that live

But Him in and through us

He is faithful to complete it

I am free

From me

From every situation

And every reality

It’s not part of me

I am free to be who I am

For I am who I am

From beginning to the end

And there’s the truth

The revelation

The mystery

I’m free for Him in me

He’s very becoming

The Word made flesh

It’s taking over me

The Word is becoming flesh

In me

To dwell among us

To dwell in me

Because He is here

I let everything else go

Lord, I don’t want anointings or mantles, I want the man. I want you, Lord.

I don’t want anointings or mantles. I want the man.

Rise remnant rise

Fires in your eyes

Raise up your cries

The eyes of the Lord roam to and fro looking for whom he can show himself strong through

Use your outside voice

Don’t be shy don’t hold back

Break through the lies that keep you tied

Run wild

Even in the hiding

Between the cleft of the rock

The shadow of his wings

Inside the strong tower

Shrouded by his power

Under the ground you’re building

On your knees you’re standing

I am being formed right now

In my mother’s womb

He forms us in our mother’s womb

Knits us by his hands

Dust of the earth, I am, the earth is mother to this physical body

Taken from the dirt and molded just like clay

Now He is forming Christ in me, while I’m in my mother’s womb

When Christ is fully formed we’re born into the light that’s Christ, He is all in all

The world dies away, no longer a friend

As we’re born into eternity

Transfigured in His Glory

…finally something happened. Everything had been so drudgingly dark. Suddenly, it was as if hope dropped into my Spirit. I don’t know how to explain it, what it looked like, it was like a light. It just dropped in. Suddenly, some of the despair began to lift, I was able to start seeing some things again.

After that day, thing’s didn’t just get easy all of the sudden. But they began to climb. There was a small place inside of me where I could somehow, sometimes, seem to find and there would be peace. A storm would still be raging around me but it was as if there was a place I could stand. I could still cry, but the tears didn’t feel like hell anymore. It was strange. The tears felt pure. I cried from a peaceful place inside where the tears were full and Holy.

For some weeks I was able to find this place easier and easier. Some days I felt peace in the storm more than other days. Later I realized that small, tiny place inside that I found to hide, wasn’t so tiny anymore. It was as if it was growing. It was more like a solid place in my core that was unshakeable. As the weeks continued, this place became more like a strong tower. I could see myself standing inside of it, looking out the window as the storm raged on. I was safe and in a peaceful place as the storm raged on.

Sometimes it’s as if I would step out from this safe place. Perhaps an irritation or something would trigger. I would find myself being pulled down and in chaos again. My response or reaction were like the old way again. But I would realize, this wasn’t me, and I had stepped out of my safe place. Somehow, I became able to find my way back to this strong tower. Or better yet, I became able to let go and allow God to take me back to this strong tower. It seemed to be getting bigger and bigger. So every time I made a mistake, particularly with my mouth, I was able to hop back inside faster and find peace even with myself. I was able to forgive myself. I saw the grace growing. I saw a lot of things growing inside. I was able to look out the window and see the lies swirling around. Before I knew it, it was like, when I stepped outside, the tower seemed so big now, I couldn’t miss it. So, when I made mistakes, it was as if I had only taken a few steps away from my refuge, and not a few miles away, I could hop right back in and thank God for peace and for the warmth of His feathers. It was like I was under the shadow of His wings.

Somehow, when this hope dropped in, after that, it was as if He was moving me. I would still be challenged. But He gave me strength to even get up. If it weren’t for Him, I may not have gotten much done any day. But He moved me. He moved me to the shower. He moved me to clean my house. He moved me to learn to cook and prepare actual dinner meals. He moved me to a structured schedule. He moved me to learn more of the finances and budgeting. I felt Him moving me. I was not strong enough in the flesh to move myself anymore. I had no desire. Though even a dying man on the alter can find strength to cry out every now and then until he’s dead; it seemed like my desire were just suffocating. Perhaps they were being crushed by this strong tower.

There was a day in particular, I was in tears, Holy tears. I was beginning to appreciate the release. These became Holy moments where He became greater in me and the flesh seemed to die more and more. Things were let go more and more, deeper and deeper we went. I walked to my backyard and sat in the sun. I was just talking to the Lord. I was grateful for what was happening. Deeply thankful. Though it felt bizarre as I was seemingly transforming. I said something like, “Lord, I miss someone very much. But I know we’re going through this for a reason and I need to become the woman You need me to be to fulfil the destiny You call me to. If that means we’re not together anymore then so be it. My life is yours. My heart is yours, my mind, my soul, they’re yours. Your will be done. Here I am.” It was so interestingly beautiful, suddenly I felt my Spirit lift up three levels. I don’t know why three at that particular moment. I just knew it was three. But when I say my Spirit lifted up, it felt as if someone literally picked it up. Arisen three levels. I don’t know if it was oppression that lifted off, or just a rising up to a higher realm. Even as I looked around, the breeze began gently blowing, the leaves seemed to come alive, in the moment of rising everything literally became brighter, more vibrant, more alive. Three levels made sense, because a week or so prior I had a dream I was moving things from my car to a new place I was moving into. This new place was on the third level and I was taking the elevator up.

I knew there was a life breathed within me. I was led to such truth in the perceived highs of my life. Status held in corporate America, good education, good income, highly desired and respectable career, a home I lived in a neighborhood I loved, time, freedom. Those highs can actually be the lows when you're digging deep to find something inside, seeking to capture the worldly things becomes so shallow. Though I was always in tune with the creation and that still small voice within, it led me to another way, a deeper one that blessed me with more intimacy and love for and from the life within me. I was drawn near to the deeper parts inside myself, my heart was ravished, my soul was watered, as I listened to that still small voice inside. I was disciplined and taught obedience. I learned to listen, hear, and follow the still small voice, the yearning heart, and that gut instinct.

I died to myself, I died to my old ways of being and thinking, I died to the world, and I became the most alive I'd ever known. I knew life in creation. I knew creation deeper as it became my best friend, my comforter and my teacher. The more time I spend in the woods, the deeper I was drawn in. The more time I spent at the waters, gazing into this river, the more I was swept away, a few times I nearly drown. I knew a deeper, richer, revelation, as I finally came to remember, the greatest love I have ever know. The one I knew from before I was born was coming back into sight as I remembered.

Before time began, I was known. Before I was formed, I was known. Before the foundations of the earth, my name was known. But I wanted still to know more. I thought I'd come to know all that I would know and perhaps some more. I knew things were changing, as the old me was dying, I began losing everything I'd worked for over a decade to gain. I gave it up willingly, knowing that I was called for more. I just knew it. Then, everything kept being taken away. I kept expecting it to end, the disintegrating of my old life, but it only kept getting worse. The further down that rabbit hole I went, the closer to this new reality I'd found, I was moving further away from all I knew.

I began to not let things go so easily. I began to fight, beg, barter, and blame. It felt like the closer I was getting, the further I was getting. I was falling away from the truth. Or was I falling into the truth? It kept feeling further, I kept losing and couldn't hang on, I kept losing everything and couldn't hang on. I was so far gone. I wanted to die. It was all dark and I wondered what I'd done. I only wanted to know the truth so badly. I'd followed all that I knew and I had faith beyond what I knew I was capable of. I asked myself, why were things only getting worse? It did not make sense. What have I done but seek one thing and be so obedient, painfully obedient, and nothing was getting better. In the days that I stopped fighting, I only wanted to die. My Spirit felt shattered and I felt so far from where I wanted to be, where I longed to be, and where I knew I was supposed to be. I could not even recognize the truth anymore. What remained, just a blurry glimmer of the light I couldn't seem to catch with my hands.

Then it happened suddenly! I woke up! It was like someone shook me and I was awake! I felt like Dorothy in the wizard of Oz, at the end when she wakes up and everyone is there. The whole thing was a dream that she knew was real but it wasn't real. She was most alive in those moments in Oz. I suddenly knew I was so alive inside. The truth I was searching for had become an integrated part of me, I never even saw it happening. I asked myself, how did this happen? I knew truth through creation before, from an intimate, very intimate place, I knew the romance of creator and creation. Yet, I was shell shocked at what revelation just bled into my being.

Marriage isnt just so we can be “happy”, that’s not it at all. That’s a byproduct of what happens when we’re walking in holiness. Marriage is meant to bring the Glory of God, Gods Glory should be present and manifest in the marriage. Oh my goodness, it goes so deep. This is what happens when the roles are in alignment, willing submission with a grateful attitude for the man God gave, to love honoring and revering the man God gave, as He loves her as the Christ to the church, and she just adores him. Atleast that’s how I see it now. I know it goes so much deeper. I’ve barely scratched the surface. But we’re movin though.

It’s the tongue

That destroys

Speaking without grace

Speaking in haste

Out of alignment with Gods appointment

The opportunity I had to overcome my own tongues, I missed it

Missing the mark brings the kiss of death

There’s nothing more painful then the death of love because of your sharp tongue

Gratitude I have for the resurrection

Gratitude I have for the correction

He makes a way to align the misaligned

To correct the defected

That gratitude is deep and cuts through the weakness that brought about the death

Wisdom is birthed in resurrection

Understanding brought forth in correction

There’s still a mark

A mark that will remind me in the next situation of what not to do, of what I could lose, and I would have forever lost, had God not paid the cost

To eat that scroll burns up your soul, why else would it be so bitter? Sweet like honey to your Spirit but oh does it burn like acid in your flesh, pungent to your soul, it drives out the lurking sinner.

Ooohhh sweet like honey to your lips, the taste of crimson salvation. But let it settle before you know it, bitter inside, but keep on going. That harsh flavor will flood the taste buds of your soul, those ones that crave the sin, they’ll shirk back, they can’t handle the Word and the Truth that burns all the lies.

That’s why it’s important to read every day so this Word keeps temptation away. That sin tries to rise, especially in disguise, just give it a taste of freedom from Gods Word. Gods Word already overcame this world so that deceitful guile shirks away with dismay on its face. Be joyful for the bitter. The bitter keeps the critters away. And thankful for the honey, a revelation a day and you’re on your way to Glorious lamentations.

I’ve heard it more than once these days

These prophetic movements going all which ways

Which stream are you in? Which gifting do you have?

Maybe I have the one that separates the wheat from the chaff.

I’ve read it in the Word, I’ve heard of the visions, Ive heard the dreams, too,

I myself had the dream that I ate the scroll

But it is really revelation or is it just the soul?

There are strange deceptions that lurk

In the hearts catacombs

Then recently, the Lord, He began dealing with me

What a good God, He wouldn’t leave me be

Didn’t know I was beguiled, scary to see I was deceived

As I read the Word in front of me, He opened my eyes to see

I read and I read and the revelation blew my mind

Again and again, more truth I would find

And then I wasn’t feeling well but I couldn’t stop reading through

My lips began to feel moist which was odd, my heart began burning too

My inside was filling to the brim, the Word was like a transmitter

An oil like feel coated my lips, the burn increased inside, and then I realized my stomach, it was oh so sickly bitter

I couldn’t stop reading, too much revelation, I could only pursue

The more I read, the more I was filled, heat, oil, and bitters filled my flesh but my soul felt awfully renewed

That bitter stomach I’d never known, but only from what I read

The oil on my lips, I suppose like honey in the Scriptures as I read each word with intention.

So is it all about a dream or a word? Perhaps it’s more real than some envision.