"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
YOU ARE THE REASON
$LAYYYTER
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@fairy-pokemon
I honestly do not delete things off my phone. I probably should but like, I can never bring myself to, even if looking at some photos or messages makes my hands shake and triples my anxiety levels for no reason.
Once upon a time these were good memories. I donât want to lose them or let those good times be tainted because things ended badly, or because they were cruel to me.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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BAD NEWS: it will not be the same forever
GOOD NEWS: it will not be the same forever
Iâm pretty paranoid about my ex-friend, who is really active on here, stalking my stuff because she has a history of doing that to everyone sheâs cut out of her life and was literally hate following me right before blowing up my phone after 2+ years of not talking with me all because she wanted to get in a punch and felt validated enough to do so finally, even though (in her words) we were not friends and had not been in some time (i concurred tbh, I stopped being interested in maintaining any semblance of connection to her years ago because i got the hint after she ghosted me and dropped the relationship). I should have unfollowed and blocked her a long time ago.
So I made a new blog, message me if you want to remain mutuals still and Iâll give it to you.
Looking at my bio, I realised I stopped really using or updating tumblr after my suicide attempt and subsequent hospitalisation at 27 lol
Since then, Iâve just stayed off most social media platforms or rarely update them (maybe once a month or so). Sometimes I miss people I used to talk to, but at this point, I donât really know why I keep this.
Some general life updates I guess are just that I have two dogs now, and Iâve had other attempts at ending my life since 27, and Iâve experienced layoffs and friendship break ups, and also experienced some of the best friendships Iâve ever had that lead me to realise that other friendships I had were, at best, neglectful and empty or shallow, and at times, causing me to abandon myself and what I wanted.
As of late, I am in one of the worst places I have been in mentally, despite being in one of the most financially stable places in my life for the first time.
Thatâs all I got really, I donât have energy or bandwidth to really dive into it anymore. Iâm just tired. So tired.
what if it all worked out in my favour
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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I havenât posted a picture of me in forever so here you go I guess. Itâs as close to an update as youâll get from me.
Girl when I tell you my life flashed before my eyes
what if you told someone you liked their shoelaces while you were on your knees blowing them in a bathroom stall and they told you that they stole them from the president
You bitches really wonât let me catch a fucking break huh
I stopped talking because I started sounding like a philosopher and nobody tryna hear that 24/7
Tiny Blue Unicorn
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch ⢠No registration required ⢠HD streaming
I feel so unstable.
Iâm so tired of feeling this. Of being this sad over someone who doesnât even like me.
Tbh I really think lying to someone and tell them for literal years you love them and care about them and want to do better and have a deeper connection and work out the problems, when the reality is you donât like them and donât want to put effort in and youâre just saying it because you think itâs âthe right thing to doâ and you âfeel guilty for wanting to leaveâ is actually just straight up cruel.
Like gaslighting someone into thinking you love them when you donât, and then when they hold you accountable to the things you promised, you just finally say, âactually I never even liked you, and we canât be friends, and itâs because of youâ, and when asked about why or what the answer is just, âI donât know. I just donât want to be friends with youââitâs intentionally cruel.
Actually I donât want to be alive.
going through a friend break up and tbh it's all so stupid in the face of everything right now, but it's also earth shattering for me, it's thrown me back into everything i thought i had managed to keep at bay. it's triggered me in ways i thought i could navigate better, showing me that actually i'm still just some stupid scared jackass who can't possibly be loved and whose needs ultimately do not matter to anyone no matter how hard i beg or cry and no matter how small i try to make them until it's all burning like sandpaper on my skin.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch ⢠No registration required ⢠HD streaming
sitting at my job being unmotivated after spending a week "working from home" and dreading having to go back to this slog again. no one is in the office, except me, and also my key card didn't work to get into the parking lot which means i may end up having to pay for parking, but actually i haven't the faintest fucking idea. i feel sleepy and sad and it's zelda's home-aversary day today and all i want to do is go home and be with her, because she's seven now, and only getting oldre and older and older and i know i still have time but i feel hyperaware that it's shorter and shorter and shorter and i can't stop thinking about it.
