you ever meet someone and just know…..u just know…they a lizard

*in a movie*

I’m what the kids call ‘an atrocity to god’.

my coworker today was like “i bet you dont know this song” and put on Don’t Go Breaking My Heart. And I was like “yeah, of course I do, it’s Elton John” and he was like “who?” and I said “Elton John. He wrote this” and he was like “oh I don’t know about that, it’s just in the Chicken Little movie” 

no offense but I’ve never gotten over anything that’s happened to me in my life

when people are like “the hunger games just stole the plot of battle royale” like listen everything steals from the plot of everything the lion king is just furry hamlet westworld is jurassic park but sexier lost is edgy gilligan’s island there are no original stories and the only good piece of media is jennifer’s body

Michael crichton wrote westworld and jurassic park tho so he just pirated himself

michael crichton keeps TRYING to tell y’all about the evils of capitalism impeding on the progress of science when will y’all LISTEN

Maybe he just doesn’t like theme parks

michael crichton in line for a roller coaster at six flags: fuck this

Phase 1 : Travel to West Virginia Phase 2 : ? Phase 3 : Mothman

Phase 2: country roads

Where are his legs

Remember, you can disappear into the woods whenever you want. You’re an adult.

tempting